How does it feel to wake up when you are 26 y.o. and suddenly realize that all you ever wanted was to be creative? After all the work as analyst? After everything that this path gave to me? Scary. Very fucking scary. And disappointing.
I get it that 26 is still young and I have all my life ahead. You can’t be sure about the second part though. But still. I don’t understand how to go on now.
I kinda know the right answer. And I don’t like it. But at the same time I don’t really hate it. I just hate the feeling that it will bring to me once again. The one that almost killed me
But like it’s said in another great song of another great band, “intentions will set you free”.
This one is for Rue. She did try. So I decided to honor her fight with one of my favorite Linkin Park songs. And special thanks to Ali. Their relationship is very special to me.
i am losing my mind over the lighting of the Hail Mary
Project Hail Mary does very deliberate things with how the Mary feels and the way its shot. The directors have said as much explicitly, but you can feel how distinctive PHM is compared to most other films set in space.
I grabbed the above clip as a clear example of the Mary be set up in such a way that, divorced from the emotional cadence and symbolism of the film, honestly feels like the result of the ship being a rush job. There is so much shadow and darkness and incomplete lighting, it seems like it would interfere with the Science. As we watch Grace working on things with meticulous care, the light moves and circles and cycles and he relies sometimes on additional lamps to see.
Alternatively, it reminds me of how meticulous and thorough lighting has to be in space movies. For instance, any film you've seen where the characters are in a helmet, you may notice the helmet is aggressively lit on the inside to illuminate the actor's face. (Most prominent example is probably Ridley Scott's Prometheus.) This is because natural light is so bad inside helmets, costuming/lighting have to shove a bunch of bulbs in there for illumination or all your expensive Acting is for nothing.
(Left, Prometheus and the infamous bubble helmets. Right, PHM, which seems to have lighting inside the helmet but it always draws the color from the environment and scene.)
Compared to PHM, we have a movie that is still trying to create a clear image for the audience, but is not afraid of shadows nor of darkness. It seems to revel in them, trusting the mood of the scene to contribute as much as the acting.
Back to the clip: That specific shot after Grace catches Blip D when the light swells with the music-- it's a gaze sweeping over Grace and away again, the warm suffused light coming in and out. It's as though space is breathing around him.
This is emphasized by Daniel Pemberton's composition. Pemberton is up there with Lorne Balfe for my favorite film composers working, and he's done a lot of tremendous, experimental, interesting scores. (The Man From UNCLE is a stand-out to me, but he's also done the Spider-verse movies, Birds of Prey, the Slow Horses TV show-- tons of great shit.) As the light peaks, there is an organic sounding "oooooooooooooh" that moves with it, like it's a breath or a sigh.
Look at these side by side.
These are the same shot, seconds apart as the light changes.
So many shots go from bright to dim, vice versa then back again. As Grace paces around the lab, you can even see the space go from completely dark to the light in the foreground, then moving past a point that dims it, then bursting bright again as it passes over the lab itself.
There's an article in Variety about just how the xenonite tunnel was lit with tungsten lights all lined up and programmed to be controlled so the light move as needed. It's unclear if the same rig was used for the Mary but given how light cycles, it's likely at least a similar system.
Another instance of same shot seconds apart. It goes from illuminated to dark then back again. Which begs the question why? What purpose does all this serve to the story, beyond aesthetics?
My answers will not be yours, but here's what I think.
The flashbacks of the movie become increasingly cold. Grace's classroom is warm-toned, but each 'step' into PHM gets colder. This is partially in service to the plot, conveying the sun's dimming. but emotionally, the Mary is golden with life and love and emotional honesty.
But emotional honesty is intense and difficult to handle. Watching a character emotionally break down stretched over seconds is hard to watch. So the lighting breathes, so the audience breathes, so it's still gentle. Given the emotional climax of the movie, the final flashback, it feels like the audience is being primed to deal with that. To understand that it will hurt, but there will be warmth after. Do not forget you are here. Do not forget that Grace is here. Have faith. Breathe.
Whether that read is correct or not, I think it's clear: it's an artistically deliberate choice.
... Okay now that I've finally written this post I can work on another post.
Yeah, all of this? Was just to establish "it really IS that deep" so we can now talk about Grace's recurring motifs of glass, reflections, and diffused/refracted light. More on that soon.
UPDATE: The sequel to this post is here
Under the cut are more cleaned up screenshots for anyone who just wants more pretty pictures.
The parallels between these shots/scenes is making me insane
The vertical position of the shot, despite it being the act of pinned down. But one is "upside down" and the other "rightside up" of:
Grace. Pinned down. Unable to move. Unable to save himself. Becoming unconcious. Ultimatley a death sentence in both cases.
In one case surrounded by people (friends) who Could help. Could step in to say "hey this isnt right", but won't.
In the other, one other person (an alien, but also a friend) is with him, but he is trapped behind a barrier, unable to help.
Except.
Except! He does!! He breaks through the barrier!! At a great danger to himself, almost fatal in fact, to help Grace!! Because he can not stand by and watch a friend die again, not if there is even a single thing he can do to help!
The guards/soldiers dragging an unconscious Grace off to his doom.
Rocky dragging an unconscious Grace to safety and medical care.
My second edit. A little character study with the music of my favorite band. The first time I watched Fullmetal Alchemist was more than 10 years ago. Since then, I rewatch it from time to time. I think this anime really shaped me.
It's also interesting how it ages as fine wine. As I get older, I start to appreciate more details and feel deeper.
