THE DD/lg DADDY SURVIVAL KIT - PART THREE
Previously in our series we spoke about the essentials of beginning your trek into the lifestyle as a new daddy. Those essentials being Trust, Respect and Comprimise… on the part of both parties.
We also talked about understanding your little in regards to what makes her what she is.. including aspects of age play, age regression, kink and more, and sprinkled in your responsibilities to those aspects.
We also ventured into a micro-focused look at the several parts that make up your little, or little to be.. and broke them down to help you better understand whats expected of you and how to overcome obstacles you didnt know existed in the first place.
We also discussed what makes your little special and how to help grow that specialness, primarily through the use of affirmation and words along with comfort and caring.. and we begin with the proper use of words.
By now you should have a ground level understanding of what your responsibility is, and how you can grow and care for it. You should also understand the seriousness of what you have gotten yourself into or are planning to become part of.
If you dont, or if any of the above seems cloudy… go back and re read parts one and two until you get it.
Today with understanding in tow, we micro focus on the importance of structure.
You have your little, you have your relationship in place, you have your understanding of what it means to be Daddy…. now what?
Now the rubber meets the road and you are going to have to make those wheels turn. She can only steer so much while you work the pedals, but ultimately its up to you to make sure the engine runs clean and both of you are getting to where you need to be.
Your number one priority is making her better today than she was yesterday.
The road you take to get to that point is paved in both determination and compromise. Ultimately, her submission is a gift to you. the most priceless gift ever, and as long as you continue to treat it that way through the entirety of the relationship, you will have minimal problems and a successful love that will last.
She knows who she is deep inside, and what she needs to be there is up to her. You can observe and plot and plan all you like, but if you arent listening and you arent paying attention, shes going to get frustrated and thats when problems ensue.
Just because she likes my little pony doesnt mean she likes monster high. Just because she likes chocolate milk doesnt mean shes going to like juice. She may like a onesie with bears, and that doesnt mean shes going to like one with ducks… and at the same time, while she may struggle with one thing in life, she may excel at another. And those might not be the same things as your previous relationships.
So pay attention. Observe. Make notes. In fact, I used to keep a pocket sized notepad in my back pocket and a putt putt golf pencil. Every time something came up that I thought needed to be captured, I wrote it down. At the end of the day you transfer those notes, thoughts and moments of clarity over to your big book and apply them for the future.
With that, lets have a look at some ways that you can provide that structure in your relationship to ensure a pathway to success.
RULES, TASKS & RESPONSIBILITIES.
Every little craves some kind of structure.
Whether it be through rules, affirmation, tasks, and so on. Its why a majority of little’s are in sub-servant roles like health care, office work, child care, etc… they enjoy routine, they enjoy being told what to do and where to be, and idle hands create anarchy.
A majority of the littles & subs I have ever surveyed who did self harm had no job, no structure at home, and didn’t have anyone telling them where to be, what to do or how to do it. Anxiety was high, depression was high, and they felt lost on a constant basis. The ones who thrive are the ones who have at least a minuscule amount of structure or rules or some kind of guide to follow. That’s why rules become so important… not so much for you being in control, but for them to feel like they are in control of something.
They need to feel a sense of purpose, a sense of having something attainable that they can do well and receive validation for. it is this validation and praise that fuels them to continue to not only be obedient, but to keep pressing and doing what it is that you set for them to do. The underlying factor being that they are growing as a person and getting better each day.
Completing tasks, rules and such combined with the feeling of accomplishment and the adulation that you provide through affirmation and praise builds confidence, character, self worth, and a whole plethora of other things that are only positive.
WHAT ABOUT MISTAKES AND FAILURES?
Simply put.. mistakes are good things. They help us see where we went wrong, and then give us the ability to apply that knowledge to not making that mistake again. Mistakes are the fuel for progress in our lives. They help us to grow and become better.
Failure only occurs when we give up completely and stop trying.
Use the mistakes as a positive, taking what you can out of them to apply to the future in a positive and discard the rest. the rest is worthless, after-all, serving no positive purpose toward future growth and development.
SO WHAT SHOULD MY RULES LOOK LIKE?
Well, thats according to both your preference and what she needs. Find the areas she is struggling in and apply yourself to being her guide in managing, growing upon, and eventually overcoming them.
Always treat yourself as such. You are not the hero. You are a guide. A mentor. A beacon of hope. A lighthouse… don’t try and be the hero. you will end up making her feel second best and inferior. Always approach every situation from the position of being her guide. You are Batman… not Superman.
Taylor them to suit your relationship. There is no one size fits all when it comes to rules… but don’t skimp on them. Be thoughtful and creative, and always make them more for her benefit than they are for you.
From there you need both rewards and punishments… and both of those things should be self explanatory in the process and treated the same way as rules.
Giving her rules and then not following through with making sure they are obeyed or even punished when she doesn’t do them, will lead to her only becoming more frustrated and feeling neglected. Shes going to feel like you do not care… like you just give them to her because you feel obligated, and like at the end of the day it doesn’t matter.
This will begin a huge snowball of depression, acting out and frustrating behavior that can all be avoided if you just man up and do your job, taking your supreme responsibility with the utmost of seriousness.
Make sure she is drinking her water. Make sure she does her chores and homework and gets to work on time and dresses well and everything else.
The provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something.
serious attention or consideration applied to doing something correctly or to avoid damage or risk.
Be her caregiver. Not her boyfriend. Not her sexual partner. Not her fling… be the one that she has graciously given the mantle and responsibility to for the care in her life. And do it well. If you can’t handle the responsibility, then don’t begin it in the first place. You will end up breaking and destroying her.
Say good morning, good afternoon and good night. Check in on her during the day to make sure shes ok. Be interested in her life. Listen to her talk about her stuffies and food. Show concern, show interest, be invested.
Once you have this mindset in full force, you will be well on your way to growth in both yourself and your little making for a satisfying relationship.
THE DD/lg DADDY SURVIVAL KIT - PART ONE
I often get questions that go a little something like this…
“Mister, I am a new daddy and have n
DDLG DADDY SURVIVAL KIT - PART 2
Previously in our series we spoke about the essentials of beginning your trek into the lifestyle as a new d
Mistersbeard - A DD/lg blog. - mistersbeard.tumblr.com
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