Cuban Toad Poisoning

[lerlenethemean-blog]

The Greatest Name Ever

After watching "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" I decided to claim this phrase as a name for myself: Beautimous Vajiggle Jaggle. yep.

[gyllenhaals]

[menandtheirdogs]

crowcrow:  Tom Hardy with his dog Woodstock for Vogue UK, June 2012 Photographed by Alasdair McLellan

[ilovecharts]

-tothepeopleofearth 

[lerlenethemean-blog]

The Artistic Temperament

Last night on Mad Men Megan's mom said the root of all Megan's problems is that she has the artistic temperament, but she isn't really an artist. Whoa, that rang true for me! I have all these ideas about stories I'd like to write or pictures I'd like to draw, or things I would like to make, but I actually suck at doing those things. Booo!

[stampedes]

[twicr]

“I understand human emotions, although I do not feel them myself.”

(via stampedes)

[marianatoma]

[lerlenethemean-blog]

Holy Crap These Damned Kids

Dog just came out of kid one's room and was chewing on something. I took it away and discovered it was a condom wrapper. There was another one too that he had been chewing on. Gah! They aren't even latex, they're those stupid skin ones! Jesus Christ.

Kid two has an ongoing pot issue and came home last night smelling like an ashtray and cheap aftershave.

For fucks sake! Put it off until you are an adult and I don't have to worry about you! I didn't even give birth to these dinks.

[lerlenethemean-blog]

Macrame Owls

Inspired by the secret macrame room behind the fireplace in "Dark Shadows," I want to learn how to make those hideous macrame owls that were everywhere in the 70's. I could make a shitload of them and sell them online. I would become the macrame owl empress of Oklahoma, and would be responsible for the resurgence of ugly owls! I'd make so much money I could retire to the country and make macrame owls forever and ever! An owl in every home!

[lerlenethemean-blog]

Blaaaaaah

Yesterday my friend who has a 5 month old daughter took the baby and her two older kids over to see my parents. I live a couple of hours away, so my friend took some pictures of my parents playing with the baby. It was cute, but then I felt horrible and sad. I just turned 39, I'm an only child, and I don't have any kids. My husband has 2 kids, and I love being a stepmom, but I have a deep yearning to give my parents a grandkid. But--my husband had a vasectomy like 16 years ago. So if I want to have a kid I have to go through a bunch of invasive and expensive crap, either medically or through an adoption process. I feel like I gypped mysyelf by putting off being in relationships, then getting into relationships with horrible dudes I didn't want to reproduce with. Also, we don't have tons of money, and since I just graduated w/my MLIS I don't have student insurance anymore, and I need to find a real job. Ugh. Sad.

[lerlenethemean-blog]

Snoopy the Turtle

We have a little turtle, and we aren't sure if it's a girl or a boy. This has led to a huge problem with giving it a name. I think we should call him/her Snoopy because he/she keeps climbing up on top of this decorative Asian-looking temple thing we have in the tank, sitting there for a while, (like Snoopy) then diving wildly into the water.

[lerlenethemean-blog]

Trashy Okies

I put this on my Facebook, but it vanished. "I saw two awesome things at the grocery store yesterday. 1.) A young guy with a brassy, dyed blond mullet. 2.) Fat kids shoplifting cookies."

[abaldwin360-deactivated20130708]

The Credible Hulk

[lerlenethemean-blog]

Exercising!

We are given the most amazing thing when we are born--a human body that can accomplish incredible feats of strength. Letting that go to waste and get covered up in blubber is not good. I am talking here like I'm really fat, but I'm actually pretty average. 5 foot 8, and 175-180 pounds. But, I used to be 125-130, and muscular. I'm so sick of thinking about how hot I used to look and how great I used to feel, so I am now gonna actually and consistently do something about it! Jeez!

[wilwheaton]

[marmite]

wilwheaton: The Anatomy of a Wasp. (via Reddit)

To the families of the dead wasps that invaded my apartment all of last August: I will destroy you.

[lerlenethemean-blog]

These things are a huge part of why I detest summer!

[lerlenethemean-blog]

Rattoos!

I was talking to my dad last night about 80's music. He briefly worked as a roadie for a local concert company and met many of the bands that came through town. He told me that Ratt (remember them?) looked like they had tattoos, but they really didn't. They drew them on with eyeliner before their shows, and called them Rattoos! Ha!

[lerlenethemean-blog]

Avengers!

I am not a huge fan of superheroes, but I loved the Avengers! Mainly because of Thor and his awesome hammer-swinging skills. He gives me the vapors! My stepson said if he was a girl, he'd think Thor is hot, LOL.

[lerlenethemean-blog]

Stepmother's Day

There should be a stepmother's and stepfather's day for those of us who don't suck and are more responsible and actively concerned than the actual parents are about the welfare of the kids. Step-parenting is even more of a thankless job than parenting.

Ha! They surprised me by asking me to go out to eat! Their actual mother cancelled on them...on Mother's Day. Yeesh.