Ho Ho Ho #HorrorChristmas

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@lern2swim
Ho Ho Ho #HorrorChristmas
having to be tied to this administration as a general American like
And the rest of the world like…
that’s the look that says ‘sorry you’re going through that, unfortunately we’re going in the same direction with only slightly more agency’
This
i never wanna see this BS again god
Listen, no matter what your fave youtuber/”health guru” says, the following things are absolute bullshit:
Juice cleanses do not do anything health-wise! Except probably lead to you getting insufficient calories for the duration! There is nothing to “cleanse”, because…
Your body does not have a “build up of toxins” you can detox away. Either your liver and kidneys are sorting shit out, or you’re experiencing severe health problems and should see a doctor. In particular, the idea you have a build up of heavy metal in your cells is ABSURD. Trust me. You’d know. “Toxins” is a word with no legal definition which is therefore not monitored in advertising. It means nothing.
Detox/weight loss teas are just mild laxatives. I wish people would stop advertising these things. I know we’re all broke and want that sponsership, but they’re not good things.
Something being vegan, gluten-free, “all natural”, etc. does not mean it cannot be bad for you. It does not necessarily mean it is better for you. It just means… it is those things.
If you ingest more of a nutrient than your body needs, the rest is wasted. It isn’t used by the body. Unless you have a vitamin deficiency, taking supplements is useless. And expensive.
Oh, and for the record, it’s not dangerous but you don’t need “eight glasses of water a day”. A lot of water comes from the food you eat. Also, any liquid that isn’t as strong a diuretic as, say, alcohol? Works to hydrate you. I mean, staying hydrated is good, but the eight glasses a day thing isn’t true. Just drink when you need water.
#this is all true#plus the tea thing is important#because being on laxatives for that long can actually give you bowel cancer#for serious yep if you wanna drink tea and be healthy just find a type of nice green/herbal tea you like and brew it properly
in another better universe Donald Trump is dead and Carrie Fisher is President
He sat with her until her time came. That’s the Bruce Wayne I came to know over the years.
OMG so I just figured out the word “hurt”
it’s past, present and future
you will be hurt
you are hurt
you were hurt
BECAUSE IF SOMETHING TRULY HURT, IT NEVER REALLY STOPS
thats because its a fucking adjective and you don’t conjugate fuking adjectives like this is the same for literally every adjective ever like goddamn why i gotta be the damn elementary school teacher on this website
Batman ‘89
Above is a bunch of proof of concept art I did for a Batman miniseries pitch Kate Leth ( @kateordie ) and I put together last year.
Inspired by DC’s recent Batman ‘66 series, our story would have picked up the threads left by Tim Burton’s Batman Returns. We would have seen the return of Selina Kyle/ Catwoman as well as introductions to ‘Burton-verse’ versions of Robin, Barbara Gordon/Batgirl, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. It also would have showcased the turn of Billy Dee Williams’ Harvey Dent into Two-Face.
We had a lot of fun ideas for the series overall, but in the end it was turned down. Regardless, these were fun a lot of fun to draw and Kate and I got to bond over our love of Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman.
Meow.
Oh sweet baby jeebus!! I’m gutted that this never happened. Damn shame.
Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
The Last Words Of 25 Famous Dead Writers
When you’ve dedicated your life to words, it’s important to go out eloquently.
Ernest Hemingway: “Goodnight my kitten.” Spoken to his wife before he killed himself.
Jane Austen: “I want nothing but death.” In response to her sister, Cassandra, who was asking her if she wanted anything.
J.M Barrie: “I can’t sleep.”
L. Frank Baum: “Now I can cross the shifting sands.”
Edgar Allan Poe: “Lord help my poor soul.”
Thomas Hobbes: “I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap into the dark,”
Alfred Jarry: “I am dying…please, bring me a toothpick.”
Hunter S. Thompson: “Relax — this won’t hurt.”
Henrik Ibsen: “On the contrary!”
Anton Chekhov: “I haven’t had champagne for a long time.”
Mark Twain: “Good bye. If we meet—” Spoken to his daughter Clara.
Louisa May Alcott: “Is it not meningitis?” Alcott did not have meningitis, though she believed it to be so. She died from mercury poison.
Jean Cocteau: “Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying.”
Washington Irving: “I have to set my pillows one more night, when will this end already?”
Leo Tolstoy: “But the peasants…how do the peasants die?”
Hans Christian Andersen: “Don’t ask me how I am! I understand nothing more.”
Charles Dickens: “On the ground!” He suffered a stroke outside his home and was asking to be laid on the ground.
H.G. Wells: “Go away! I’m all right.” He didn’t know he was dying.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “More light.”
W.C. Fields: “Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!” “Carlotta” was Carlotta Monti, actress and his mistress.
Voltaire: “Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.” When asked by a priest to renounce Satan.
Dylan Thomas: “I’ve had 18 straight whiskies…I think that’s the record.”
George Bernard Shaw: “Dying is easy, comedy is hard.”
Henry David Thoreau: “Moose…Indian.”
James Joyce: “Does nobody understand?”
26. Oscar Wilde: “Either the wallpaper goes, or I do.” 27. Bob Hope: “Surprise me.” He was responding to his wife asking where he wanted to be buried.
reblogging because of Voltaire though
“Please, bring me a toothpick”
I’m quite disappointed that my absolute favourite has been missed off here: 28. Roald Dahl’s last words are commonly believed to be “you know, I’m not frightened. It’s just that I will miss you all so much!” which are the perfect last words. But, after he appeared to fall unconscious, a nurse injected him with morphine to ease his passing. His actual last words were a whispered “ow, fuck”
while I’m here:
aspartame does not give you cancer
gluten is not bad for you if you’re not allergic/don’t have celiac disease
superfoods aren’t real, they’re just healthy things with maybe some nicer levels of certain vitamins
vaccines do not cause autism or really anything else and the chemicals present in them that typically scare you are in such minute amounts that they do precisely fuck-all in your body (we’re talking scales of one part per million)
you cannot do a cleanse or diet to “rid your body of toxins,” your kidneys and liver have that covered
GMO foods will not kill you; most genetic crop modification just makes our crops hardier and produce more food (and genetic modification doesn’t inject more chemicals into your food, it’s just minor altering of DNA that is made of the exact same stuff your DNA is made from)
if you feed your cat a vegan diet I will personally come to your home with the skull of a long-dead predator, point out the shape of its jaw and teeth as indicators of predatory feeding habits, and then beat you with it
I love this
All of this
Bond. James Bond.
Uh oh. Me too, Barry. Me too.
Classic... And classy.
Missing Moments by Chris Trevas
the internet summed up in one gif set