Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last time, Magnus Burnsides watches as the false moon, Lucretia’s moon, approaches from his place inside the glass sphere. His pupils go wide as the sphere enters the moon, trying to see anything in the darkness of the space. Of course he doesn’t, one of two members (previously just him) of Tres Horny Boys without Darkvision.
As such, he’s blinking spots out of his eyes when the sphere emerges in the bright light of the hangar, and Magnus’s gaze alights on Avi, operating the cannons as per usual and looking surprised to see him.
Magnus is up and walking as soon as the sphere door opens.
“Hey, hey, Magnus, how are-” Avi starts as Magnus passes by him.
“Can’t talk now, Avi,” Magnus interrupts, jokingly brusque. “Important world-saving business, you know how it is. Weight lifting later though?” Magnus tosses the words lightly over his shoulder, already gone.
“Uh, yeah, hey, wait, where are you going?” Avi calls after him, but Magnus doesn’t answer and Avi doesn’t follow after.
He marches across the quad, hearing the summer breeze whistle through the trees and watching it sweep over the grassy field in waves. He high fives Killian and trades finger guns with Carey, wishing the couple congratulations (again) on their upcoming nuptials. But he doesn’t linger. He has somewhere to be. Obviously. That’s the whole reason he’s here.
Magnus continues on into the largest, grandest dome in the Bureau of Benevolence and doesn’t break his stride as the sound of his footsteps shifts from the muted trod against earth to the faintly echoing click of boots against marble.
Lucretia isn’t on the dais, not that he’d expect her to be. That’s not surprising.
Magnus makes it to the door at the end of the hall and walks to her office. No, unsurprisingly, Lucretia is working, as per usual. Or, she is, right up until Magnus gets to her office door and does what Magnus does best. Magnus rushes in.
“Lucretia Adventurezone,” Magnus booms, and the woman in question looks up from her desk, eyebrows already rising to nearly her hairline.
“Magnus. What. What was that?” She asks, completely nonplussed.
“It’s fine. I just needed a last name. Uh, don’t worry about it,” Magnus says, waving off the unknowable reference. “Anyway. What isn’t fine, Lucretia, is the state of dogs on the moon!” Magnus levels an accusatory glare at Lucretia.
As expected, she doesn’t shrink, meeting Magnus’s eyes with a level stare of her own. “Magnus. Dogs run off the moon. I have explained this to you countless times.”
“Two hundred twenty-five by my count, actually,” Magnus rebuts, thoroughly pulling a number out of the air, and Lucretia’s face breaks into a smile. “You have argued against fences. You have argued against leashes. You have argued against automated dog catching systems.” He counts off the arguments on his fingers. “But,” he says dramatically, raising a finger, “you have forgotten one important thing. And that thing, Lucretia, is domes.”
“I’m pretty sure I haven’t forgotten domes, Mango.” And Lucretia gestures to the moon base at large around her.
“Lucretia. You are the most powerful abjuration wizard this or literally any other plane has ever seen. A god for gods told you that you did the most powerful shit he had ever seen.”
Magnus nearly sputters at Lucretia’s nonchalance. “You could have just cast a spell on the moon base the whole time! No real fences, just a big magic fence!”
Lucretia blinks. “Oh. Huh.”
“Now hold on!” Magnus exclaims. “‘Huh?’ You never thought about it, not once, despite knowing that you are, like, a super good wizard and at no point had you been walking around with less than one-seventh of the Light of Creation. For years, Lucy!”
“Well... Listen. Magnus. I was preoccupied. Very preoccupied.”
“But dogs, Lucretia!” Magnus nearly whines. “Think of the puppies left in a box! Think of the mutts who need a home! Think of the dogs!”
Lucretia doesn’t say anything, just looks like she’s thinking. Magnus deflates a little. “Uh, anyway. You are also formally invited to the grand opening or sort of re-opening of Hammer and Tails. When I open it. At some point. You know, re-building an entire town and a carpentry shop and a school for dogs is not easy.” He emphasizes. “And, uh, you know, still keeping up with those Tres Horny Boys adventures. We went to a casino with Lup, and Merle cast fucking Insect Plague, and then we kicked Greg fucking Grimaldis’s fucking ass, but Lup didn’t get her $15 anyway, and we got into another battlewagon race, so Taako got another trophy for that, and I still need a battlewagon trophy because I have vehicle proficiency, and Cap’nport, oh Lucy, he doesn’t need money, he wanted help fighting ghost pirates, but don’t worry about it, and I drove the ship and Taako adopted a Kraken and all the Reapers showed up, lots of family bonding and shit.” Magnus continues rambling about some of their various adventures and branches into the wedding preparations for Carey and Killian.
As he talks, Lucretia sweeps all of her work to the side and pulls a fresh sheet of paper toward her, starting to quickly scribble something down.
“And then Carey was, like, I don’t know if I like chocolate or spice cake better! So I told her, just talk to Taako and Lup about doing both! Great plan, right, Lucretia? Lucretia?” Magnus asks again, half-concerned that Lucretia has opted to not listen to his rather extensive rambling.
Lucretia looks up. “Uh, duh. Of course, Magnus. More cakes are better. And. Um. I have something for you. Call it... call it a Candlenights gift. A little late for sure, but-“ she passes over the piece of paper.
Magnus looks down at the paper Lucretia had quickly filled with blue ink. “COUPON,” it reads in all caps across the top. “One dog on the moon, whenever user wants. Coupon limited to one Magnus Burnsides. Director Lucretia not responsible for providing dog leash or harness. Fence negotiable. Expiry: never.” Below the text there is a quick illustration of a cartoonish Magnus with a very happy dog in a baby bjorn.
Magnus looks back to Lucretia. She looks. A little anxious, surprisingly. “Lucy.”
“Oh, shit, bad idea? I thought with your history of back rub coupons, it’d be funny, but, uh, maybe not the best joke?”
Magnus initially doesn’t answer, just walks around the desk and tugs Lucretia up into a hug. “Best moon boss Candlenights gift ever,” he says, a little watery, because Magnus Burnsides isn’t afraid to admit that he can cry. “Better than two hundred gold pieces in an envelope.”
Lucretia laughs too, and there’s a small hiccup before she answers. “Not my finest moment, yes.”
It’s quiet briefly before there’s a small yipping sound from Magnus’s bag, the sound of a puppy just waking up. Magnus steps back, and Lucretia is smiling as he goes to the bag.
“So, will you be redeeming that first coupon now then?”
“Uh... probably. But. Lucretia. Meet Johann,” Magnus says, proudly, raising a tiny deerhound puppy, still blinking the sleep out of his eyes. Johann yawns. Lucretia reaches out her arms, and Magnus gives her first the coupon and then the puppy.
“All right. I guess we do have dogs on the moon.”
