A week of pain. Everywhere. I had to start wearing my wrist brace again. It's been years since I had to. 3 purchases of new shoes to try because of agonizing pain in my feet. I cut back severely on ibuprofen for awhile because it was activating my stomach issues. But I slowly started adding some in yesterday when the discomfort was too great to bear. I interviewed for and picked up a new cat-sitting client. Worked a full schedule even though I had to call out of work on Monday. Took myself on a date to see Gretel and Hansel. Went grocery shopping and am tackling finally putting my Christmas/Yule decorations away. And slept. And rested. A lot. My anxiety has been paralyzing at times. With waking dreams and sleep paralysis lurking in the shadows. But I am trying. Still. I try and pat myself on the back for small victories. It is truly a struggle at times. You may not understand. But this is no joke. This is not me exaggerating. This is not me being pessimistic. This is what it's like to have a chronic illness. It doesn't mean I don't feel joy. It doesn't mean I am not grateful for all that I have. Please don't tell me to try yoga. Please don't ask if I've tried cutting out gluten. Please don't tell me "it could be worse". Someone's else's pain does not take away from mine. I do not benefit because some people have it worse than me. I don't really know what I'm trying to say with this post, sometimes you just need to release your pain, to name it, to express it, to feel some form of relief. My illness does not define me, but I do live with it. It is a part of me. Shame is a very personal aspect of it that I actively fight every single day. That you cannot see. Some days, some weeks, are easier than others. If you took the time to read this, to see me, thank you. #fibromyalgia #chronicillness #chronicpain #ulnaimpactionsyndrome #ibs #anxiety #depression #fibroflare #pms #tmd #sleepparalysis #wakingdreams #sleepdisorders #hypermobilejointsyndrome #thankyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B8WmBXrBRsTgmFZbKGYRIFN2Iy9PND57E5TtFg0/?igshid=gystryjf69ta