i am but an autistic lesbian with canva and a dream who happens to be the fairy gaymother of straightestmikegate and the archivist (along with @dustin-judges and @smcu-reports) of the SMCU
i like sprinking my gay fairy dust on gay people . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ (it helps make them kiss) (help i got some on me @lesbianestnancy @lesbianest-vickie @lesbianest-barb @lesbianest-eden and @lesbianestchrissy) (@straightestmike UR GAY)
ᓚ₍⑅^..^₎♡ this is a cat im emotionally attached to (she is now named joy courtesy of @gayestwiil <3)
𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆ AND heres the lore chart (as of 12/24)⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶ
(i will make separate posts too but i'll edit this when i update the chart) (click on the link to zoom in on text)
@friendlyneighbourhooddm smcu lore timeline part one, oct. 26 through dec. 20!! colors are by importance according to the us terrorism threat levels but minus yellow because that isn't a tumblr font color (red -> orange -> blue -> green) (red being highest and green being lowest). theories are in purple. i am so tired. i spent six days on this before i realized it wouldn't save and had to delete all of dec 21. i spent three hours scrolling as far back on every smcu blog as i could to find their first posts. i cross-referenced timestamps. i want my bachelor's in smcu please!
all jokes aside, this was really fun to compile. i love looking back on smcu lore. i'm sad (and irritated) that people bullied olly and ethan (aka straightestmike and gayestwiil) off the internet not only because it made finding older lore an absolute pain in the ass but also because i considered them my friends. they built this fandom and this story, and they were always at the core of it. i'm sorry that they weren't able to appreciate the love and joy that they created for us. i'm sorry that people thought it was okay to harass them like that
as always, if you'd like written out/detailed recaps of events, days, timelines, plotlines, etc. don't hesitate to send an ask or something <3
october 26
mikey lore drop #1 (thank you @crispautumn1eaves for preserving this. you have my eternal gratitude)
december 9
willis and @straightestella have a heartwarming talk about mikey being terrible
ella confronts mikey about not signing the divorce papers and they talk about ella's sexy italian boyfriend
december 10
willis responds to an ask about mikey
mikey harasses cody
mikey and michelle start dating (this is @straightest-michelle 2nd post btw)
@gayestrichie says mikey and willis made out in 1988
mikey and michelle get shotgun married
drama about mikey's new marriage
mikey, willis, and @gayestcody fight (x, x bc reblogs are messy)
december 11
mikey harasses cody
mikey and willis have a fight after cody leaves willis's house
this is just a fun michelle & @dustin-judges interaction
cody and willis fight
dustin posts a helpful rundown of lore thus far
@bis3xualmax and ella reunite
anon ask boris about his boyfriend. oh... oh, anon, i'm so sorry. theo did NOT in fact stay six feet away. (this is just here bc i think it's funny. also my unreliable narrator boris agenda)
december 12
mikey makes this post explaining the lore between him and willis (thank GOD for @iambylernow for being my straightestmike archive. ty for getting me into the smcu fandom mootie <3)
ella answers a question about how the children, wilbur and wilfred, are handling hers and mikey's divorce
dustin posts a life-saving lore recap
@lesbianestrobin post a life-saving people chart
december 13
some kind of lumax/henderclair/elmax thing going on
cosmo loredump from ella
mikey catalogues current members of the smcu in this edit
smcu-reports #1 is released
@erica-ace threatens mikey
another edit??
@lesbianestchrissy posts a lore recap
december 14
smcu-reports #2 is released
mikey has been kicked out of the garden (10:45pm gmt)
mikey has a midlife crisis (11:45pm gmt)
michelle has a lore dump (she's FRENCH??????) (also, and this was revealed in the smcu newspaper, her last name is Fletcher)
gayesteddie tries to rescue steve from erica's evil base
dustin posts overview of new members
december 15
ANOTHER EDIT???? these are fantastic but man i'm about to cry. i keep wondering if i'm hallucinating
dustin posts a lore recap. i have been working on this for the past THREE HOURS this is my lord and savior. color-coding unclear.
willis updates his intro
SUERB stands for secret underground ex-russian base
art!! by @thegreateventof1928
robin posts a chart & lore recap
december 16
another edit olly man how did you make all of these
boris, robin, cody, vickie, chris, ziggy, max, lucas go to a gay bar and invite mikey. hijinks ensue. (x, x, x)
i join the smcu! i argue with boris and join the straightest trio
mikey has a crisis following some realizations
mikey comes out as a gay homosexual
@smcu-reports acc is created (intro post)
december 17
robin post an updated lore chart/family tree
another smcu!boreo fight
lesbians comfort boris
cody and willis chat
mikey's restaurant, flowers and soles, opens (though he later revoked the no gays rule! progress. we love to see it.)
boris and i christen the restaurant by fighting in it
the Pause begins -- no new accs for 48 hours
carlton drama happens. a new account, gayestcarlt0n or something, is made. he harasses willis's account and makes ethan extremely uncomfortable. with the wrath of the smcu coming down upon him, he deletes the account and says he'll just stick with his "main smcu blog." he did not have another smcu account. marks first big bullying thing that willis and mikey experience. will not be linking the things he said or any reblogs of his account.
december 18
smcu-reports #3 is released
the SMCU THEORIZATION FORUM is created!! initial theories are made about who dustin's wife is (x, x)
erica and friends plan to kill god
smcu!boreo fight AGAIN, this time in shitty russian
mikey's restaurant has glowing heterosexual reviews
it's crossword time
dustin needs a plumber... does anyone know who to call?
the plumb shack phone call comes out
@bicuriousestchris discovers that the smcu is set in chicago
russians according to the smcu reports (and a theory by @lesbianest-vickie)
reporters are missing
december 19
robin chart update / the Pause ends
willis opens his own restaurant, soups and faguettes (technically dec 18 but i so can't be assed to change it rn)
dustin turns straight (and here) and joins the straightest trio (also technically dec18 but at midnight so i'm putting it here)
theo turns straight
@ask-the-wheeler turns straight
dustin forgets his wife
mikey is too important
more about the plumb shack phone call (kudos @lesbianestnancy)
lucas apologizes to dustin and gives him flowers
forgotten & the truth
cody tries to revolt (lmao nice try buddy)
claire fuels russianflowergate for shiggles
december 20
superman theory (@bicuriousestchris)
diana folds to theater-kid-ism/song clue #1
henderclair flowers part 2
song clue #2 (colors of the wind)
song clue #3 (the world will know)
song clue #4 (love in paradise)
song clue #5 (waving through a window)
song clue #6 (open arms) (IM SORRY DIANA I DIDN'T KNOW)
rapture plot lvl 2 achieved, the rapture is out of control
i am so nostalgic for this even though it was like 4 months ago. wtf.
i loved being a part of the smcu SO much and also thank you for the shoutouts <3 it truly was such a fun big group project, and i have SO many great memories of helpign diana plan the lore and giving weird practically irrelevant cryptic clues, and watching yall theorize was amazing, but half that lore truly was built off of YOUR theories <3
@friendlyneighbourhooddm smcu lore timeline part one, oct. 26 through dec. 20!! colors are by importance according to the us terrorism threat levels but minus yellow because that isn't a tumblr font color (red -> orange -> blue -> green) (red being highest and green being lowest). theories are in purple. i am so tired. i spent six days on this before i realized it wouldn't save and had to delete all of dec 21. i spent three hours scrolling as far back on every smcu blog as i could to find their first posts. i cross-referenced timestamps. i want my bachelor's in smcu please!
all jokes aside, this was really fun to compile. i love looking back on smcu lore. i'm sad (and irritated) that people bullied olly and ethan (aka straightestmike and gayestwiil) off the internet not only because it made finding older lore an absolute pain in the ass but also because i considered them my friends. they built this fandom and this story, and they were always at the core of it. i'm sorry that they weren't able to appreciate the love and joy that they created for us. i'm sorry that people thought it was okay to harass them like that
as always, if you'd like written out/detailed recaps of events, days, timelines, plotlines, etc. don't hesitate to send an ask or something <3
october 26
mikey lore drop #1 (thank you @crispautumn1eaves for preserving this. you have my eternal gratitude)
december 9
willis and @straightestella have a heartwarming talk about mikey being terrible
ella confronts mikey about not signing the divorce papers and they talk about ella's sexy italian boyfriend
december 10
willis responds to an ask about mikey
mikey harasses cody
mikey and michelle start dating (this is @straightest-michelle 2nd post btw)
@gayestrichie says mikey and willis made out in 1988
mikey and michelle get shotgun married
drama about mikey's new marriage
mikey, willis, and @gayestcody fight (x, x bc reblogs are messy)
december 11
mikey harasses cody
mikey and willis have a fight after cody leaves willis's house
this is just a fun michelle & @dustin-judges interaction
cody and willis fight
dustin posts a helpful rundown of lore thus far
@bis3xualmax and ella reunite
anon ask boris about his boyfriend. oh... oh, anon, i'm so sorry. theo did NOT in fact stay six feet away. (this is just here bc i think it's funny. also my unreliable narrator boris agenda)
december 12
mikey makes this post explaining the lore between him and willis (thank GOD for @iambylernow for being my straightestmike archive. ty for getting me into the smcu fandom mootie <3)
ella answers a question about how the children, wilbur and wilfred, are handling hers and mikey's divorce
dustin posts a life-saving lore recap
@lesbianestrobin post a life-saving people chart
december 13
some kind of lumax/henderclair/elmax thing going on
cosmo loredump from ella
mikey catalogues current members of the smcu in this edit
smcu-reports #1 is released
@erica-ace threatens mikey
another edit??
@lesbianestchrissy posts a lore recap
december 14
smcu-reports #2 is released
mikey has been kicked out of the garden (10:45pm gmt)
mikey has a midlife crisis (11:45pm gmt)
michelle has a lore dump (she's FRENCH??????) (also, and this was revealed in the smcu newspaper, her last name is Fletcher)
gayesteddie tries to rescue steve from erica's evil base
dustin posts overview of new members
december 15
ANOTHER EDIT???? these are fantastic but man i'm about to cry. i keep wondering if i'm hallucinating
dustin posts a lore recap. i have been working on this for the past THREE HOURS this is my lord and savior. color-coding unclear.
willis updates his intro
SUERB stands for secret underground ex-russian base
art!! by @thegreateventof1928
robin posts a chart & lore recap
december 16
another edit olly man how did you make all of these
boris, robin, cody, vickie, chris, ziggy, max, lucas go to a gay bar and invite mikey. hijinks ensue. (x, x, x)
i join the smcu! i argue with boris and join the straightest trio
mikey has a crisis following some realizations
mikey comes out as a gay homosexual
@smcu-reports acc is created (intro post)
december 17
robin post an updated lore chart/family tree
another smcu!boreo fight
lesbians comfort boris
cody and willis chat
mikey's restaurant, flowers and soles, opens (though he later revoked the no gays rule! progress. we love to see it.)
boris and i christen the restaurant by fighting in it
the Pause begins -- no new accs for 48 hours
carlton drama happens. a new account, gayestcarlt0n or something, is made. he harasses willis's account and makes ethan extremely uncomfortable. with the wrath of the smcu coming down upon him, he deletes the account and says he'll just stick with his "main smcu blog." he did not have another smcu account. marks first big bullying thing that willis and mikey experience. will not be linking the things he said or any reblogs of his account.
december 18
smcu-reports #3 is released
the SMCU THEORIZATION FORUM is created!! initial theories are made about who dustin's wife is (x, x)
erica and friends plan to kill god
smcu!boreo fight AGAIN, this time in shitty russian
mikey's restaurant has glowing heterosexual reviews
it's crossword time
dustin needs a plumber... does anyone know who to call?
the plumb shack phone call comes out
@bicuriousestchris discovers that the smcu is set in chicago
russians according to the smcu reports (and a theory by @lesbianest-vickie)
reporters are missing
december 19
robin chart update / the Pause ends
willis opens his own restaurant, soups and faguettes (technically dec 18 but i so can't be assed to change it rn)
dustin turns straight (and here) and joins the straightest trio (also technically dec18 but at midnight so i'm putting it here)
theo turns straight
@ask-the-wheeler turns straight
dustin forgets his wife
mikey is too important
more about the plumb shack phone call (kudos @lesbianestnancy)
lucas apologizes to dustin and gives him flowers
forgotten & the truth
cody tries to revolt (lmao nice try buddy)
claire fuels russianflowergate for shiggles
december 20
superman theory (@bicuriousestchris)
diana folds to theater-kid-ism/song clue #1
henderclair flowers part 2
song clue #2 (colors of the wind)
song clue #3 (the world will know)
song clue #4 (love in paradise)
song clue #5 (waving through a window)
song clue #6 (open arms) (IM SORRY DIANA I DIDN'T KNOW)
rapture plot lvl 2 achieved, the rapture is out of control
(also it wasnt for shiggles i was proving a point that they dont make you heterosexual. i think. hence my posts abt how i love women afterwards) (but it was also for shiggles everything i did was for shiggles)
hey what’s willkey?? gayestmike acc tag was broken but im so curious
OH NO DID HE DELETE THE ACC???
sparknotes is tht willkey is a satirical byler variant (willis/mikey rather than will/mike) created before st5 dropped. willis and mikey are adult byler in an au where mikey is extremely repressed and willis is recently divorced. they live in chicago and there is a lot of supernatural spooky magic stuff.
long version/smcu rundown below the cut! LOTS of lore so this took me several days to compile and write down.
k so willkey is the main ship of the SMCU, or Straightest Mike Cinematic Universe. the SMCU was created by @/straightestmike (later changed his name to @/gayestmike following some revelations) as a satire account before season 5 dropped. it was created to make fun of the mike that m11's thought was going to be canon, and the universe expanded following some straightest mike lore drops that basically explained that mikey (straightestmike's name) had a will named willis and that willis's sister ella was mikey's wife. the important part of these lore drops (and truth be told the only part i actually remember) was that willis and mikey had kissed on a new years party, but in a Totally Heterosexual way according to mikey. from this came the accounts of @straightestella and @gayestwiil. and also i think @gayestcody was an og? cody being willis's husband who willis had gotten with after the fateful new years makeout. from there the universe grew, including the cousfinns (every single finn wolfhard character) and their accompanying finn-laws (anyone in the finn wolfhard universes) every st character from max to murray to eden, and some mike (@straightestpaladin and @straightest-michelle). @lesbianestrobin and @dustin-judges enter the scene and take over as lore masters for the SMCU. robin's canva subscription fueled the charts of who's who and how they're related (hopefully that's the most recent chart lol), which saved the sanity of everyone involved. @dustin-judges as DM and lore master and our rightful god (sorry God Ross) started a mystery rp thing where the rp accounts in the SMCU played through a mystery thing that kicked off with the first release of the SMCU newspaper (@smcu-reports which is also run by @dustin-judges) and mystery #1 was WHO IS DUSTIN'S WIFE? you can find it yourself in the initial issue(s) of the newspaper if you'd like (issue 1, issue 2, issue 3). the newspapers are AMAZING btw please do check them out.
anyway, dustin's wife ended up being alice, a reporter for the SMCU paper, who then went missing while investigating ??? a phone number was released with the third issue for the smcu newspaper under the ad for the straightest plumb shack, which could be called! the plumb shack was discovered by @bicuriousestchris to be located in chicago, which was confirmed by smcu-reports, and chris followed up on this discovery with finding out that dustin and his wife both lived and worked in chicago. smcu-reports released the text version of what ??? said on the phone call. The [redacted] is long. The [redacted] [redacted] when blue meets yellow in the [redacted]. A trip [redacted] will show that [redacted], you were right. [redacted]. the members of the smcu put their heads together and decided they kind of had no idea what to do about that. it's a code! we discovered that! and then we got distracted by one direction. the smcu figured out that the mystery revolved around being closeted/internalized homophobia, but were otherwise clueless and got distracted again by russians. dustin was the first victim of a straightness epidemic, changing his name to straightest-dustin and posting about how hetero he was, and straightness abounded for like a day until lucas and dustin had a homoerotically charged fight. it was also revealed that all of alice's things (clothes, mugs, etc) were missing along with the woman herself. it was confirmed that several smcu reporters had gone missing, including alice. @bicuriousestchris had the lock-in of the century and compiled all of the evidence proving that the smcu reports anon and alice were the same person and also dustin's wife. @the-god-ross-duffer figured out that one of the missing words in the code was truth (the truth [redacted] when blue meets yellow). dustin briefly forgot he had a wife. nancy figured out more of the code. dustin revealed that mikey was too important to mess around with the mystery stuff. dustin and lucas made up after lucas brought dustin flowers and apologized (henderclair agenda i see you). petuniagate was invented by the smcu theory team to talk about the mystery surrounding the flowers.
skip forward a little bit because this mystery lasted like a MONTH you guys. it kicked off on like dec 16 and wrapped officially on NEW YEARS (though things did happen for a few days afterward). (i've only covered up to the 20th so far) (help me). i don't know if the SMCU THEORIZATION FORUM community is visible to everyone but if you scroll through there you can get a play-by-play.
anywho. i designated myself the finnverse researcher after @bisexualborisp had some kind of freaky ass nightmare. all members of the finnverse later reported nightmares, namely michelle, chris, richie, ask-mike (@ask-the-wheeler), and ofc boris (who, i'll be honest, i was talking to the most. sorry guys it just made more sense in character as @closeted-theoooo). boris had a rapture-induced dream after overdosing (unrelated) and was talking to a shadowy figure. also reported seeing himself but wrong. this phrase, "myself but wrong," would go on to haunt me for weeks to come. again, more finnverse characters experienced the same dream, and these dreams eventually branched out throughout the smcu with, confusingly, even steve experiencing some kind of nightmare. after @gayestcody had a phone call with alice and we theorizers remembered this was an rp-verse and we could interact with things, theo (MEEE) and @lesbianest-vickie set out to mikey's restaurant, which was closed down by this point, to investigate. we discovered a pile of alice's shoes, as well as some amazing music. we then accidentally burned down the store, but not before rescuing some of alice's shoes. later, we went back to look at the shoes we'd found, and discovered a thumb drive hidden in one of them, which led us to a web page. sorry i'm skipping so much stuff i feel bad! quick overview, boris and i invented color-coding, richie forgot things, willis bullied cody, we had a custom wordles, all of the finnverses forgot things and my dear friend "you don't look how you used to" slapped me in the face repeatedly, we discovered most of the code, willis went on a yacht. anyway. theo and vickie had this conversation with Forgotten, aka the lady who was terrorizing our anons and saying cryptic mean things about God Ross. yours truly did hella detective work and figured out that forgotten was a part of a cycle that theo was about to fall victim to, i was proven right because my hypothesis was that boris would forget theo's name next and he did, meaning that theo:forgotten::boris:michelle (forgotten's lover was a she/her using finnverse character, so it had to be michelle) (the finnverse characters were discovered to be Mirrors of mikey, who was also the center of the universe). mikey and willis reunited and our beautiful theorizers ALMOST solved the code, coming up with the following: the wait is long. the truth comes out when blue meets yellow in the garden. a trip down memory lane will show that in the end, you were right. [redacted sentence]. the theorizers also learned that the code was the passcode to the webpage that theo and vickie found. i continued going insane about the mirrors and the cycle they were clearly trapped in. meanwhile, michelle remembered forgotten's name -- iris -- and had a conversation with her. mikey and willis continued being dramatic. @bicuriousestchris once again came in clutch and discovered that if mikey and willis got their happy ending, the bullshit with the smcu would go back to normal and everyone else would get to fall in love with who they wanted, rather than having to love a willis mirror if they were a mikey mirror. we continued going insane until we finally solved the entire code!
The wait is long. The truth comes out when blue meets yellow in the garden. A trip down memory lane will show that in the end, you were right. You had all the answers.
you can plug it into the website if you want to check that out, it's fantastic! very cool and a lot of willkey backstory in there.
on dec 25, willis and mikey had a talk. mikey confessed his true feelings, explaining that while he had been running from himself and hurting his friends and family for so long, he was ready to accept who he was. how he felt. he wasn't straight, and he never had been. he was in love with willis. he knew he'd hurt willis, though, and even though he knew willis might be done with him, mikey still wanted to be near him. willis said he loved mikey back. they went to watch a christmas movie together. all was well.
we had solved it! there was still mystery to go, however. God Ross had started the rapture in order to save those who were Michael Queeler truthers and condemn those who were #straightestmike believers (which was really just mikey, the straightest trio, and for a horrifying few hours the mythical beast of straightest-dustin). however, with the cosmic shitshow mikey had unleashed on chicago, the rapture was out of control and slated for new year's day. also, mayoral elections for chicago were slated for the 30th, with both cody and mikey running for mayor (chrissy and dustin as their respective deputies). however, things were slowing down.
mikey and willis got engaged and won the mayoral elections. the amazing @true-rat-king made some gorgeous art for the smcu. the rapture occurred in three parts (x, x, x, also a video) culminating in a question posed to every member of the smcu:
From the moment that life was breathed into you and you became alive, you have been carefully guided and observed by those above. You have always had free will, and the choices you made throughout your life have led you to this point. Now you are at a crossroads, and you have been summoned here to face The Truth.
The Truth: the essence that guides the universe, the one thing that permeates time and space and is all around you at every second of your existence, yet which escapes scientific understanding. The guiding principle that holds the universe together and gives consciousness meaning. Now you must show us what you have learned. You must decide your fate.
What is love?
unfortunately, not every viewer of the elaborate performance the smcu put on understood any of what we said, created, and built. the smcu disbanded due to the unsustainability of the energy we'd been putting into it, yes, but also because of the increased amount of hate we recieved. anons told members that they weren't welcome, that they were worthless, and that they should leave the community they built. mikey and willis' account runners both left the smcu, and apparently now their accounts have been deleted. shortly after mikey and willis left, dustin, michelle, and many others said goodbye to the smcu. while a large number of us are still here, we're nearly inactive these days. our story is preserved in our posts, and i personally have no intention of deleting my smcu blog. i maintain that the smcu is a better ending that st5. fuck you, duffers, i hope you get bullied off the internet, because you deserve it a thousand times more than mikey.
oh and! we don't have willkey fanfic YET, but we do have smcu fic! robin (@wideyedgayss) authored The SMCU Murders Tammy Thompson, which is exactly what it sounds like and is a ton of fun. cody (@friendlyneighbourhooddm) wrote the fate of the epilogue boyfriend, which follows cody's journey to joining the smcu. i wrote you, just like heaven, which is a missing scene of michelle's nightmares and her remembering iris.
not really sure how to end this so WE ARE ALL DIANA <3
i do know bc diana told ME about it too! petuniagate has a special place in my heart anyway <3 no amount of diana torment can keep me and my true love (weird smcu flowers) apart
hey what’s willkey?? gayestmike acc tag was broken but im so curious
OH NO DID HE DELETE THE ACC???
sparknotes is tht willkey is a satirical byler variant (willis/mikey rather than will/mike) created before st5 dropped. willis and mikey are adult byler in an au where mikey is extremely repressed and willis is recently divorced. they live in chicago and there is a lot of supernatural spooky magic stuff.
long version/smcu rundown below the cut! LOTS of lore so this took me several days to compile and write down.
k so willkey is the main ship of the SMCU, or Straightest Mike Cinematic Universe. the SMCU was created by @/straightestmike (later changed his name to @/gayestmike following some revelations) as a satire account before season 5 dropped. it was created to make fun of the mike that m11's thought was going to be canon, and the universe expanded following some straightest mike lore drops that basically explained that mikey (straightestmike's name) had a will named willis and that willis's sister ella was mikey's wife. the important part of these lore drops (and truth be told the only part i actually remember) was that willis and mikey had kissed on a new years party, but in a Totally Heterosexual way according to mikey. from this came the accounts of @straightestella and @gayestwiil. and also i think @gayestcody was an og? cody being willis's husband who willis had gotten with after the fateful new years makeout. from there the universe grew, including the cousfinns (every single finn wolfhard character) and their accompanying finn-laws (anyone in the finn wolfhard universes) every st character from max to murray to eden, and some mike (@straightestpaladin and @straightest-michelle). @lesbianestrobin and @dustin-judges enter the scene and take over as lore masters for the SMCU. robin's canva subscription fueled the charts of who's who and how they're related (hopefully that's the most recent chart lol), which saved the sanity of everyone involved. @dustin-judges as DM and lore master and our rightful god (sorry God Ross) started a mystery rp thing where the rp accounts in the SMCU played through a mystery thing that kicked off with the first release of the SMCU newspaper (@smcu-reports which is also run by @dustin-judges) and mystery #1 was WHO IS DUSTIN'S WIFE? you can find it yourself in the initial issue(s) of the newspaper if you'd like (issue 1, issue 2, issue 3). the newspapers are AMAZING btw please do check them out.
anyway, dustin's wife ended up being alice, a reporter for the SMCU paper, who then went missing while investigating ??? a phone number was released with the third issue for the smcu newspaper under the ad for the straightest plumb shack, which could be called! the plumb shack was discovered by @bicuriousestchris to be located in chicago, which was confirmed by smcu-reports, and chris followed up on this discovery with finding out that dustin and his wife both lived and worked in chicago. smcu-reports released the text version of what ??? said on the phone call. The [redacted] is long. The [redacted] [redacted] when blue meets yellow in the [redacted]. A trip [redacted] will show that [redacted], you were right. [redacted]. the members of the smcu put their heads together and decided they kind of had no idea what to do about that. it's a code! we discovered that! and then we got distracted by one direction. the smcu figured out that the mystery revolved around being closeted/internalized homophobia, but were otherwise clueless and got distracted again by russians. dustin was the first victim of a straightness epidemic, changing his name to straightest-dustin and posting about how hetero he was, and straightness abounded for like a day until lucas and dustin had a homoerotically charged fight. it was also revealed that all of alice's things (clothes, mugs, etc) were missing along with the woman herself. it was confirmed that several smcu reporters had gone missing, including alice. @bicuriousestchris had the lock-in of the century and compiled all of the evidence proving that the smcu reports anon and alice were the same person and also dustin's wife. @the-god-ross-duffer figured out that one of the missing words in the code was truth (the truth [redacted] when blue meets yellow). dustin briefly forgot he had a wife. nancy figured out more of the code. dustin revealed that mikey was too important to mess around with the mystery stuff. dustin and lucas made up after lucas brought dustin flowers and apologized (henderclair agenda i see you). petuniagate was invented by the smcu theory team to talk about the mystery surrounding the flowers.
skip forward a little bit because this mystery lasted like a MONTH you guys. it kicked off on like dec 16 and wrapped officially on NEW YEARS (though things did happen for a few days afterward). (i've only covered up to the 20th so far) (help me). i don't know if the SMCU THEORIZATION FORUM community is visible to everyone but if you scroll through there you can get a play-by-play.
anywho. i designated myself the finnverse researcher after @bisexualborisp had some kind of freaky ass nightmare. all members of the finnverse later reported nightmares, namely michelle, chris, richie, ask-mike (@ask-the-wheeler), and ofc boris (who, i'll be honest, i was talking to the most. sorry guys it just made more sense in character as @closeted-theoooo). boris had a rapture-induced dream after overdosing (unrelated) and was talking to a shadowy figure. also reported seeing himself but wrong. this phrase, "myself but wrong," would go on to haunt me for weeks to come. again, more finnverse characters experienced the same dream, and these dreams eventually branched out throughout the smcu with, confusingly, even steve experiencing some kind of nightmare. after @gayestcody had a phone call with alice and we theorizers remembered this was an rp-verse and we could interact with things, theo (MEEE) and @lesbianest-vickie set out to mikey's restaurant, which was closed down by this point, to investigate. we discovered a pile of alice's shoes, as well as some amazing music. we then accidentally burned down the store, but not before rescuing some of alice's shoes. later, we went back to look at the shoes we'd found, and discovered a thumb drive hidden in one of them, which led us to a web page. sorry i'm skipping so much stuff i feel bad! quick overview, boris and i invented color-coding, richie forgot things, willis bullied cody, we had a custom wordles, all of the finnverses forgot things and my dear friend "you don't look how you used to" slapped me in the face repeatedly, we discovered most of the code, willis went on a yacht. anyway. theo and vickie had this conversation with Forgotten, aka the lady who was terrorizing our anons and saying cryptic mean things about God Ross. yours truly did hella detective work and figured out that forgotten was a part of a cycle that theo was about to fall victim to, i was proven right because my hypothesis was that boris would forget theo's name next and he did, meaning that theo:forgotten::boris:michelle (forgotten's lover was a she/her using finnverse character, so it had to be michelle) (the finnverse characters were discovered to be Mirrors of mikey, who was also the center of the universe). mikey and willis reunited and our beautiful theorizers ALMOST solved the code, coming up with the following: the wait is long. the truth comes out when blue meets yellow in the garden. a trip down memory lane will show that in the end, you were right. [redacted sentence]. the theorizers also learned that the code was the passcode to the webpage that theo and vickie found. i continued going insane about the mirrors and the cycle they were clearly trapped in. meanwhile, michelle remembered forgotten's name -- iris -- and had a conversation with her. mikey and willis continued being dramatic. @bicuriousestchris once again came in clutch and discovered that if mikey and willis got their happy ending, the bullshit with the smcu would go back to normal and everyone else would get to fall in love with who they wanted, rather than having to love a willis mirror if they were a mikey mirror. we continued going insane until we finally solved the entire code!
The wait is long. The truth comes out when blue meets yellow in the garden. A trip down memory lane will show that in the end, you were right. You had all the answers.
you can plug it into the website if you want to check that out, it's fantastic! very cool and a lot of willkey backstory in there.
on dec 25, willis and mikey had a talk. mikey confessed his true feelings, explaining that while he had been running from himself and hurting his friends and family for so long, he was ready to accept who he was. how he felt. he wasn't straight, and he never had been. he was in love with willis. he knew he'd hurt willis, though, and even though he knew willis might be done with him, mikey still wanted to be near him. willis said he loved mikey back. they went to watch a christmas movie together. all was well.
we had solved it! there was still mystery to go, however. God Ross had started the rapture in order to save those who were Michael Queeler truthers and condemn those who were #straightestmike believers (which was really just mikey, the straightest trio, and for a horrifying few hours the mythical beast of straightest-dustin). however, with the cosmic shitshow mikey had unleashed on chicago, the rapture was out of control and slated for new year's day. also, mayoral elections for chicago were slated for the 30th, with both cody and mikey running for mayor (chrissy and dustin as their respective deputies). however, things were slowing down.
mikey and willis got engaged and won the mayoral elections. the amazing @true-rat-king made some gorgeous art for the smcu. the rapture occurred in three parts (x, x, x, also a video) culminating in a question posed to every member of the smcu:
From the moment that life was breathed into you and you became alive, you have been carefully guided and observed by those above. You have always had free will, and the choices you made throughout your life have led you to this point. Now you are at a crossroads, and you have been summoned here to face The Truth.
The Truth: the essence that guides the universe, the one thing that permeates time and space and is all around you at every second of your existence, yet which escapes scientific understanding. The guiding principle that holds the universe together and gives consciousness meaning. Now you must show us what you have learned. You must decide your fate.
What is love?
unfortunately, not every viewer of the elaborate performance the smcu put on understood any of what we said, created, and built. the smcu disbanded due to the unsustainability of the energy we'd been putting into it, yes, but also because of the increased amount of hate we recieved. anons told members that they weren't welcome, that they were worthless, and that they should leave the community they built. mikey and willis' account runners both left the smcu, and apparently now their accounts have been deleted. shortly after mikey and willis left, dustin, michelle, and many others said goodbye to the smcu. while a large number of us are still here, we're nearly inactive these days. our story is preserved in our posts, and i personally have no intention of deleting my smcu blog. i maintain that the smcu is a better ending that st5. fuck you, duffers, i hope you get bullied off the internet, because you deserve it a thousand times more than mikey.
oh and! we don't have willkey fanfic YET, but we do have smcu fic! robin (@wideyedgayss) authored The SMCU Murders Tammy Thompson, which is exactly what it sounds like and is a ton of fun. cody (@friendlyneighbourhooddm) wrote the fate of the epilogue boyfriend, which follows cody's journey to joining the smcu. i wrote you, just like heaven, which is a missing scene of michelle's nightmares and her remembering iris.
not really sure how to end this so WE ARE ALL DIANA <3
hey what’s willkey?? gayestmike acc tag was broken but im so curious
OH NO DID HE DELETE THE ACC???
sparknotes is tht willkey is a satirical byler variant (willis/mikey rather than will/mike) created before st5 dropped. willis and mikey are adult byler in an au where mikey is extremely repressed and willis is recently divorced. they live in chicago and there is a lot of supernatural spooky magic stuff.
long version/smcu rundown below the cut! LOTS of lore so this took me several days to compile and write down.
k so willkey is the main ship of the SMCU, or Straightest Mike Cinematic Universe. the SMCU was created by @/straightestmike (later changed his name to @/gayestmike following some revelations) as a satire account before season 5 dropped. it was created to make fun of the mike that m11's thought was going to be canon, and the universe expanded following some straightest mike lore drops that basically explained that mikey (straightestmike's name) had a will named willis and that willis's sister ella was mikey's wife. the important part of these lore drops (and truth be told the only part i actually remember) was that willis and mikey had kissed on a new years party, but in a Totally Heterosexual way according to mikey. from this came the accounts of @straightestella and @gayestwiil. and also i think @gayestcody was an og? cody being willis's husband who willis had gotten with after the fateful new years makeout. from there the universe grew, including the cousfinns (every single finn wolfhard character) and their accompanying finn-laws (anyone in the finn wolfhard universes) every st character from max to murray to eden, and some mike (@straightestpaladin and @straightest-michelle). @lesbianestrobin and @dustin-judges enter the scene and take over as lore masters for the SMCU. robin's canva subscription fueled the charts of who's who and how they're related (hopefully that's the most recent chart lol), which saved the sanity of everyone involved. @dustin-judges as DM and lore master and our rightful god (sorry God Ross) started a mystery rp thing where the rp accounts in the SMCU played through a mystery thing that kicked off with the first release of the SMCU newspaper (@smcu-reports which is also run by @dustin-judges) and mystery #1 was WHO IS DUSTIN'S WIFE? you can find it yourself in the initial issue(s) of the newspaper if you'd like (issue 1, issue 2, issue 3). the newspapers are AMAZING btw please do check them out.
anyway, dustin's wife ended up being alice, a reporter for the SMCU paper, who then went missing while investigating ??? a phone number was released with the third issue for the smcu newspaper under the ad for the straightest plumb shack, which could be called! the plumb shack was discovered by @bicuriousestchris to be located in chicago, which was confirmed by smcu-reports, and chris followed up on this discovery with finding out that dustin and his wife both lived and worked in chicago. smcu-reports released the text version of what ??? said on the phone call. The [redacted] is long. The [redacted] [redacted] when blue meets yellow in the [redacted]. A trip [redacted] will show that [redacted], you were right. [redacted]. the members of the smcu put their heads together and decided they kind of had no idea what to do about that. it's a code! we discovered that! and then we got distracted by one direction. the smcu figured out that the mystery revolved around being closeted/internalized homophobia, but were otherwise clueless and got distracted again by russians. dustin was the first victim of a straightness epidemic, changing his name to straightest-dustin and posting about how hetero he was, and straightness abounded for like a day until lucas and dustin had a homoerotically charged fight. it was also revealed that all of alice's things (clothes, mugs, etc) were missing along with the woman herself. it was confirmed that several smcu reporters had gone missing, including alice. @bicuriousestchris had the lock-in of the century and compiled all of the evidence proving that the smcu reports anon and alice were the same person and also dustin's wife. @the-god-ross-duffer figured out that one of the missing words in the code was truth (the truth [redacted] when blue meets yellow). dustin briefly forgot he had a wife. nancy figured out more of the code. dustin revealed that mikey was too important to mess around with the mystery stuff. dustin and lucas made up after lucas brought dustin flowers and apologized (henderclair agenda i see you). petuniagate was invented by the smcu theory team to talk about the mystery surrounding the flowers.
skip forward a little bit because this mystery lasted like a MONTH you guys. it kicked off on like dec 16 and wrapped officially on NEW YEARS (though things did happen for a few days afterward). (i've only covered up to the 20th so far) (help me). i don't know if the SMCU THEORIZATION FORUM community is visible to everyone but if you scroll through there you can get a play-by-play.
anywho. i designated myself the finnverse researcher after @bisexualborisp had some kind of freaky ass nightmare. all members of the finnverse later reported nightmares, namely michelle, chris, richie, ask-mike (@ask-the-wheeler), and ofc boris (who, i'll be honest, i was talking to the most. sorry guys it just made more sense in character as @closeted-theoooo). boris had a rapture-induced dream after overdosing (unrelated) and was talking to a shadowy figure. also reported seeing himself but wrong. this phrase, "myself but wrong," would go on to haunt me for weeks to come. again, more finnverse characters experienced the same dream, and these dreams eventually branched out throughout the smcu with, confusingly, even steve experiencing some kind of nightmare. after @gayestcody had a phone call with alice and we theorizers remembered this was an rp-verse and we could interact with things, theo (MEEE) and @lesbianest-vickie set out to mikey's restaurant, which was closed down by this point, to investigate. we discovered a pile of alice's shoes, as well as some amazing music. we then accidentally burned down the store, but not before rescuing some of alice's shoes. later, we went back to look at the shoes we'd found, and discovered a thumb drive hidden in one of them, which led us to a web page. sorry i'm skipping so much stuff i feel bad! quick overview, boris and i invented color-coding, richie forgot things, willis bullied cody, we had a custom wordles, all of the finnverses forgot things and my dear friend "you don't look how you used to" slapped me in the face repeatedly, we discovered most of the code, willis went on a yacht. anyway. theo and vickie had this conversation with Forgotten, aka the lady who was terrorizing our anons and saying cryptic mean things about God Ross. yours truly did hella detective work and figured out that forgotten was a part of a cycle that theo was about to fall victim to, i was proven right because my hypothesis was that boris would forget theo's name next and he did, meaning that theo:boris::forgotten:michelle (forgotten's lover was a she/her using finnverse character, so it had to be michelle) (the finnverse characters were discovered to be Mirrors of mikey, who was also the center of the universe). mikey and willis reunited and our beautiful theorizers ALMOST solved the code, coming up with the following: the wait is long. the truth comes out when blue meets yellow in the garden. a trip down memory lane will show that in the end, you were right. [redacted sentence]. the theorizers also learned that the code was the passcode to the webpage that theo and vickie found. i continued going insane about the mirrors and the cycle they were clearly trapped in. meanwhile, michelle remembered forgotten's name -- iris -- and had a conversation with her. mikey and willis continued being dramatic. @bicuriousestchris once again came in clutch and discovered that if mikey and willis got their happy ending, the bullshit with the smcu would go back to normal and everyone else would get to fall in love with who they wanted, rather than having to love a willis mirror if they were a mikey mirror. we continued going insane until we finally solved the entire code!
The wait is long. The truth comes out when blue meets yellow in the garden. A trip down memory lane will show that in the end, you were right. You had all the answers.
you can plug it into the website if you want to check that out, it's fantastic! very cool and a lot of willkey backstory in there.
on dec 25, willis and mikey had a talk. mikey confessed his true feelings, explaining that while he had been running from himself and hurting his friends and family for so long, he was ready to accept who he was. how he felt. he wasn't straight, and he never had been. he was in love with willis. he knew he'd hurt willis, though, and even though he knew willis might be done with him, mikey still wanted to be near him. willis said he loved mikey back. they went to watch a christmas movie together. all was well.
we had solved it! there was still mystery to go, however. God Ross had started the rapture in order to save those who were Michael Queeler truthers and condemn those who were #straightestmike believers (which was really just mikey, the straightest trio, and for a horrifying few hours the mythical beast of straightest-dustin). however, with the cosmic shitshow mikey had unleashed on chicago, the rapture was out of control and slated for new year's day. also, mayoral elections for chicago were slated for the 30th, with both cody and mikey running for mayor (chrissy and dustin as their respective deputies). however, things were slowing down.
mikey and willis got engaged and won the mayoral elections. the amazing @true-rat-king made some gorgeous art for the smcu. the rapture occurred in three parts (x, x, x, also a video) culminating in a question posed to every member of the smcu:
From the moment that life was breathed into you and you became alive, you have been carefully guided and observed by those above. You have always had free will, and the choices you made throughout your life have led you to this point. Now you are at a crossroads, and you have been summoned here to face The Truth.
The Truth: the essence that guides the universe, the one thing that permeates time and space and is all around you at every second of your existence, yet which escapes scientific understanding. The guiding principle that holds the universe together and gives consciousness meaning. Now you must show us what you have learned. You must decide your fate.
What is love?
unfortunately, not every viewer of the elaborate performance the smcu put on understood any of what we said, created, and built. the smcu disbanded due to the unsustainability of the energy we'd been putting into it, yes, but also because of the increased amount of hate we recieved. anons told members that they weren't welcome, that they were worthless, and that they should leave the community they built. mikey and willis' account runners both left the smcu, and apparently now their accounts have been deleted. shortly after mikey and willis left, dustin, michelle, and many others said goodbye to the smcu. while a large number of us are still here, we're nearly inactive these days. our story is preserved in our posts, and i personally have no intention of deleting my smcu blog. i maintain that the smcu is a better ending that st5. fuck you, duffers, i hope you get bullied off the internet, because you deserve it a thousand times more than mikey.
oh and! we don't have willkey fanfic YET, but we do have smcu fic! robin (@wideyedgayss) authored The SMCU Murders Tammy Thompson, which is exactly what it sounds like and is a ton of fun. cody (@friendlyneighbourhooddm) wrote the fate of the epilogue boyfriend, which follows cody's journey to joining the smcu. i wrote you, just like heaven, which is a missing scene of michelle's nightmares and her remembering iris.
not really sure how to end this so WE ARE ALL DIANA <3
vickie who has been volunteering for the hospital for years and who volunteered when the gates opened earthquake destroyed hawkins and who was genuinely concerned for her girlfriend and trying to help her when she thought she was taking drugs and who explains how she’s feeling because she knows her girlfriend struggles with social cues and who found a way for lucas to save max and who got in with the “monsters from other dimensions are real and trying to kill us and we have to stop them and defeat the telekinetic villain trying to destroy our world” program really fast and only with a few minor freak-outs and who stayed with max and tried to protect her from the military. only to not get her date at enzo’s and to be referred to as an “overbearing” partner
Don’t worry, Chicago didn’t forget about you! No one is stopping me from using the towns money to get you that date with @lesbianestrobin and the rest of the gang
later today is a month since olly and i became absolute besties (we are soul bonded, and you may think it's a joke... but it's not... it's a little disturbing when you realize we have the exact same comfort song we sing to others to calm down and we're able to psychic connect in a way where we feel when we're sad or happy!! without talking all day!! very fucking weird!! we can also tell when the other's gonna do sth?? ethan is disturbed by this.) and now that im going down memory lane to surprise him with a friendship wrapped, i just want to say i was very proud of what i made here, and i hope to one day come back and give it the proper ending it deserves
i think olly built the foundations for something very wonderful, and it led me to meeting him and making this crazy concoction of a story
i spent a hundred and forty hours on this story. i woke up at six in the morning on christmas morning to work all day to open @pipe-burst. and it was incredible. all morning i spent it laughing with olly while we drafted mikey's letters. this one is my favorite, because it's not important to the plot at all, but it actually represents to me a subject that made me think olly and i could get along... klance.
now. with the state of byler... klance can leave a bitter aftertaste, but who the hell cares. this letter is fucking bonkers, and i love it. it reminds me of how lovely working on the smcu was.
there were people on here that genuinely hurt my friend. that's why i had to take a step back, even if i didn't feel like my work was done.
i poured my heart and soul and purpose into making this story, but i didn't to keep going if i was going to end up working on it alone.
i adore the smcu, and i was very good at managing it, but olly had become the other half of my brain for every step by that resignation point... so... it does feel like i'd do it alone, even if i wouldn't be. i was totally the brains of the operation, but you also need it to be fun. and when people are so invariably cruel, i didn't feel the fun.
i have no idea who's even gonna read this. the smcu was sooo ten days ago (and if the smcu taught me anything, is that time is a fucking construct, bc an hour can be a millenia). but i hope everyone's having an okay time. i hope everyone remembers to be kind, to tell the people they love that they really really love them, and that everyone's open to trying new things.
im forever greatful i found this place. my life has taken a very sudden spin into a completely different state of living. im very happy im alive, im very happy im creating, and im very happy that IM GOING TO SLEEP NOW!! I KNOW!! A MIRACLE!!
GOD IS REAL!! ASK ROSS DUFFER (BUT ONLY TALK TO THE GOOD ONE, NOT THE VOLDEMORT AI USER)!!
ANYWAY!! GOODNIGHT!!!!!!
PS: the secret to being diana is to be nice!! so... if you're diana... be nice to humans!!
