draco n harry finding out their daughter can speak parseltongue when one night they're all in the living room and harry is teasing draco w parsel and he's about to Dirty Talk It Up when she just turns around & looks them straight in the eye "dad why are you gonna undress daddy?? cant he do it himself?? is he sick? or hurt????" and harry vows to never open his mouth around his daughter ever again
and draco just laughs and harry is stricken and horrified and completely tongue tied
and he just sits there gaping and completely beet red, and draco all amused by the situation pecks his cheek quickly (’better keep the parsel in the bedroom,’ he mumbles quietly, smiling) before pushing off of the couch and picking up osiria with a chuckle (’come on, littleozzy, time for bed’), hoisting her onto his hip and carrying her away into the nursery rattling off at her in french to distract her
he tells her a story about complicatedpajamases and how he gets so sleepy at night he doesn’t even remember how to unbutton his shirt anymore and she giggles and agrees that buttons can indeed be quite tricky, and by the time he has tucked her into bed she’s yawning and smiling and clutching her plush wolf tight, all questions completely forgotten. draco turns off the lights (’NOT all the way, papa!’ ‘i know, sweetie’) and by the time he’s out the door, she’s already half asleep.
and draco smiles fondly when he comes back out and finds harry still sitting wideeyed where he left him, and he has to work hard(’she’s NOT traumatized, honey, she didn’t know what you meant’ and ‘this is just yet another thing to add to the list of things we can only do in the bedroom from now on’ and ‘it’s really not a big deal, harry’ and ‘honestly, haven’t you always hated how we speak french with each other without you understanding?’) andkiss it better all night until harry finally feels okay again and they can sleep.
and of course draco didn’t know how much those last words would come back to bite him in the ass; because yes, harry HAS in fact been quite bothered by constantly being left out of conversations (never mind that he does love the sound of french from draco… but that is ENTIRELY BESIDES THE POINT) sooooo it really is inevitable that from now on, he might take advantage of the fact that he can do the same thing to draco. AND tease him in the process. revenge is sweet.
and osiria is happy; she knows three languages! and that’s a good thing, an impressive thing, at least that’s what auntie mione says. osiria isn’t quite sure what a language is, but apparently little three year oldsdon’t often know three of them? even teddy doesn’t know three, and he knows EVERYTHING. so osiria feels good and happy, asking papa about potions in french. and sometimes daddy will hiss at her and it’s fun to hiss back, because it tickles her tongue.
and harry and draco do learn to actually keep the dirty talking to the bedroom (although draco starts thinking maybe they could both learn italian or something and then they could still say whatever they want to each other around the house… but something tells him harry won’t be down with that) and they’re happy and so proud of their daughter and everything is good and just
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