BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER (1999)
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@monttagues
BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER (1999)
listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.
This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice
THUMBELINA (1994) dir. don bluth, gary goldman
Oh shit wait ok
So one year for charity different pro athletes get asked to participate in a live game based on one of those “how well do you know your partner” games but instead it’s “how well do you know your rival” and participating means you get to raise money for a charity of your choice and obviously Shane and Ilya want to promote the Irina Project so they agree and go up against other current famous rivals from other sports
And Shane and Ilya discuss ahead of time that obviously they’ll have to just play things off as they usually do, light hearted chirps back and forth and what not, “winning” is just for the show and won’t impact how much money gets made for their charity so it doesn’t matter. Except then they get there and become overtaken by the need to Win and Be the Best and they are the best. So without needing to discuss changing the plan, as soon as the questions start they lock in and decide that actually they have to demolish everyone else
The other rivals are laughing and making jokes at the questions but Shane and Ilya are deadly serious and the host starts to get a little weirded out by the fact that they actually know the answers and aren’t just saying things like “how many goals last season? Probably one less than me haha” and actually have each others stats memorized
Because the audience is loving it they go to a lightning round that’s just Shane and Ilya and it’s now the usual couple game questions and they’re still getting them right because they can make excuses for knowing later, right now is about Winning
“What is Shane’s favorite breakfast?”
“Kale protein shake with a scoop of peanut butter and a handful of blueberries.”
“Ok um, what is Ilya’s favorite breakfast?”
“Two sausage egg McMuffins with an extra slice of cheese and hashbrowns.”
“What is something on Shane’s bucket list?”
“Sleeping in one of those see through igloos under the northern lights.”
“What is something on Ilya’s bucket list?”
“That thing where you feed giraffes at a zoo.”
“Ok last one. I think we all know Shane’s answer is former paramour Rose Landry, but who do you think is the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with is?”
*through teeth gritted so tight he is in danger of chipping one* “Probably a model. Or something.”
“… Yeah, let’s go with that.”
Years later when they’re out Shane reshares the clip and the only non-PR approved thing he says on the matter is “It was me, by the way. I am the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with.”
sophie nélisse is a goddamn genius bc this little move with her hands under shane's shirt is PERFECT. intimate and playful and sweet, possessive but not aggressive. it's the cutest little look at me and my boyfriend, tee hee! move and ilya must have been losing his damn MIND
YOUNG ROYALS 1.02
extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine
at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport
Ernie, trying to maybe come out to Kermit: well you know Kermit, me and Bert-
Bert: Bert and I
Ernie: Bert and I, we've been best friends forever, but we're also something else too!
Kermit, who every goddamn night has to tell Beaker and Bunsen to keep it professional, deal with Statler and Waldorf's bullshit, AND update his organizational chart on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Polycule: that's really great to hear fellas, happy for you two! :)
Grover, alarmed at having spilled some finger paint on Kermit's flipper: I am so sorry, Kermit. Please forgive me.
Kermit, who deals with a multitude of bodily fluids on his person and all over the theatre every evening, who is unintentionally trampled by large monsters as they exit the stage, and quite intentionally has his little froggy bones launched into a wall most nights by Miss Piggy: It's ok, Grover. I'm a frog. I love baths.
On Sesame Street: Oh, no, Telly is watching too much television!
The Muppet Show Theater, that night: Gonzo attempts to explain his latest fetish at length.
"Ilya pushed against the ice with his sneakers and slid over to Shane. When he reached him, he kissed him loudly on the cheek." Heated Rivalry, p. 272
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My religious works so far
They broke apart and Hollander looked at him, eyes wild and dark hair a mess, silently begging for instruction. — Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid, Chapter Six
I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it
T-shirt that says "I'M SORRY FOR THE PERSON I BECOME WHEN I'M OVERHEATED"
LADY GAGA. Rolling Stone Interview.