@lesbianliadan - Tumblr Blog

Richard Siken, from “The Torn-Up Road”.

I feel similarly about “if they wanted to, they would” as I do about “it’s not the alcohol, they did that to you because they wanted to.” Which is that maybe these sentiments help people leave bad situations (maybe) but they’re also cruel… I didn’t help me to feel like I was being treated terribly because there was something wrong with me or they hated me or it was my fault…Which I think is often the next thought if you’re someone who say, hates themselves because they’re being treated badly. And do you leave if you just hate yourself more?

It’s so much easier to think “it’s not me, it’s the alcohol or their work schedule or this conflict or that”. Is it really kinder to think “it IS me, they’re doing this because they don’t really like me (because I’m not worth anything).”

#also sometimes people really are just busy or bad at managing time #or whatever its not always as simple as If They Wanted To They Would #the whole alcohol issue is a whole other thing #it can be the Thing and you still gotta go

I wish there was a real alternative to Microsoft Word and Google Docs

vintageandroid

i made a post like this before but I can't find it now. so. I'll just redo it.

What's the first "big news story" you remember from when you were a kid?

It's something I love to ask mixed-aged groups sometimes because I think it's really interesting to see the responses. I've gotten answers from the Olympics of [whatever year] to Watergate to more recent stuff from my niblings.

My first news thing I remember is the OJ Simpson trial. I vaguely remember watching the news with my grandparents before that, but that's the first story I remember, in part because my second grade teacher had us go play so she could watch the verdict 😂

absolutelynotclassicusernam-blog

I remember walking down the street and seeing a sign protesting George W. Bush’s war on Iraq, so I think that.

#the 2000 Bush-Gore race and subsequent controversy #it was explained to me that we don’t know who won which was confusing to me because I was imagining it was an actual race #felt it should be pretty clear how it turned out #9/11 was probably the first thing I had a reasonable understanding of #oh there’s also the Sydney Olympics and the 2000 NYE

Im sure Gen Z isn’t great about this but middle class/upper middle class Gen X specifically is so bad about this. I’m constantly hearing my colleagues talk about everyone has had smartphones since like 2008 or that all young millennials and Gen Z grew up on iPads. It’s because the professional class got iPhones for themselves both earlier than other adults and earlier than almost anyone was giving expensive tech to kids/teens.

Boomers are better because they actually had older kids/teens in the 2010s so they know.

#I’m regularly surprised by blindspots people who neither were kids or had kids have about being young in the 2010s

wordsforyoungmen

#I so love baths like this in theory #I think irl I would feel claustrophobic

I was Spoken To by a professional mentor a few years ago about how its unprofessional to decline alcohol/drink a mocktail at a professional thing because people will and do assume you're an alcoholic...or at least everyone over 50 which are the people you need to like you.

Insane to me. I think people my age and younger are more risk adverse and concerned about family alcohol history (and also more likely to be on medications that conflict), but there's always been allergies to alcohol I assume? I'm not supposed to drink anyway because of my weird bladder autoimmune nightmare situation

#because it feels like it sets it on fire

eclecticopposition

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

#i feel like should have a better answer than cheap vodka out of the bottle but #i mean it's cheap vodka out of the bottle

Helping my mother buy clothes is crazy because she’s literally so thin that we’re fully in wasting syndrome territory now and she’s still a Large just by virtue of her like, height and proportions.

#I remember her sobbing at me when I was an older kid like you will never be petite!!!#and it’s like yeah but do you have to cry about it #but seriously we are not made for that at the like skeletal level

My least favorite namenerds thing actually is when some poor trans kid wants to change their name to Lily or Ethan or something and people dogpile them and say they need to pick basically a top 10 name for their birth year or they’re “clockable” even though a pretty small percentage of people actually have names that popular. And most people hate the top names of their birth year because they knew too many.

And more importantly, said name is a Lily or Ethan type name where it’s been popular for like 25 years but no one knows anyone but people their own age and babies. I’ve been downvoted for saying that I wouldn’t blink twice at a college student named Evie. (I’ve had so many)

I hate when I get spoiled by the back of the book so I really try to go into a book with as little info as humanly possible and just go on for the ride….But it’s interesting now that sometimes I’ll read a book and it’ll be clear that the author wrote with the back of the book in mind? (For example, doesn’t say what country the book is set in for ages or never- that’s for the back.)

That seems like a good use of the medium I guess, but it’s weird!

I used to be so scared that I’d have to get a hysterectomy like my mother did and now honestly. I want what she had, I want to give birth and then have it out like two years later. They can even take it out at a c-section, do a combination c section hysterectomy.

It’s not allowed to fall out until then but the second I’ve had a kid it can be Gone.

I’m starting to have terrible ovulation symptoms and horrible pre-period symptoms and a hellish period which is just not sustainable. The last time it was like this I lived in Germany and got prescribed a kind of birth control that we don’t have here and it knocked this straight out. And then I came back to the States and it ran out and I couldn’t get more.

I think maybe it is an endometriosis thing and the birth control killed it dead for awhile and now it’s growing back. I might be able to get on something similar now

#I couldn’t get a similar in Indiana because insurance said I had to try regular birth control for a year first #even though I have seizure like migraines #so no bc for me

haveyoureadthisbook-poll

Have you read Some People Need Killing: A Memoir of Murder in My Country by Patricia Evangelista (2023)?

yes

no

I've read parts of it

I've never heard of it

Voting ended onJul 14

#no but it’s on my list!#when I can get it from the library #ideally in print but if I have to read digital…

exr26

#reminds me of the down below cabin when I went whale watching off San Francisco

I’m usually good about not having a long TBR list but I have about 20 currently…and yet I am so tempted lately to reread Harry Potter. I don’t think I’ve done a reread since book 7 came out.

#I used to read the whole series 1-4 then 1-5 then 1-6 over and over #between the ages of like 9 and 13 #we have all the books still in the house so it’s not like I’d have to buy…

Favorites So Far in 2026

Top 5 Fiction (alphabetical/not ranked):

Flashlight - Susan Choi (2025)

Every One Still Here - Liadan Ní Chuinn (2025)

We Do Not Part - Han Kang (2021)

The Golden Compass - Philip Pullman (1995)

The Color Purple - Alice Walker (1982) (re-read)

Top 5 Nonfiction (alphabetical/not ranked):

Let the Record Show: A Political History of ACT Up New York - Sarah Schulman (2021)

The Postwar Antisemite: Culture and Complicity after the Holocaust - Lisa Silverman (2025)

MetaMaus - Art Spiegelman (2011)

Queer Lives Across the Wall: Desire and Danger in Divided Germany -Andrea Rottmann (2023)

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