12 Months of Neon Love

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@lesserstonem-blog
12 Months of Neon Love
We said no strings attached but now we’re in knots.
(via 10wordpoems)
Skins (2007-2013)
TRISTAN RIVA:
“oh.” he pressed his back against the cold metal of the bed frame, a shrug to his shoulders at her question — but she couldn’t see that. “i dunno.” he wasn’t really concerned either, really, knowing he hadn’t accidentally left effy somewhere was his main concern, even if he wasn’t sure how to verbalize that at the time. “some dorm somewhere — maybe birmingham?” maybe leeds, he didn’t fucking know, everything looked the same anyway. “dunno how the fuck i got here.” another laugh, words mumbled more than he’d like. his head was still thrumming, and he was still plagued by the desire to do something. “d'you know how i got here?”
❝ my guess is you got yourself fucked up at some party . ❞ there’s evident disinterest in her tone as she stands again to shut the curtains by the window; anything to keep her hands busy. this doesn’t last long. soon, Effy decides to re-open them in order to open the window in favor of lighting a cigarette . the smoke is exhaled slowly before she speaks again , though her lack of interest doesn’t disappear . ❝ what are you on ? ❞
TRISTAN RIVA:
@lesserstonem 🖤’d for a text starter, but i wanted to do a phone call instead.
he wasn’t entirely sure how’d he ended up here — tucked under a bed in some unknown college dorm, but he didn’t care. he didn’t care. his head was pounding, veins buzzing and thrumming with something, and he so desperately wanted to get out, but where was he? where would he go? if he focused hard enough he could make out the sounds of people talking, marbled and distant, but the sound of the bed shifting let him know they were right there. what the fuck was he on? tristan shifted carefully, uncoordinated limbs making their way from under the bed. how did he get here? where was effy? effy. had she gone out with him? no, he’d remember that, right? no, definitely not, everything was a swirl of sound and colors. nothing was tangible.
tris reached out for his phone, eyes narrowing as they adjusted to the brightness of the screen. “eff,” his tone laced with laughter he hadn’t been anticipating, the dialing coming to an end. had she answered? “eff, eff, eeeeeeff — where’d you go?”
things were bad without Tony here. at least with him, taking care of their mother wasn’t such a difficult and unbearable task, but someone has to do it and heaven knows no one else will. a blanket is pulled over her mother’s sleeping form and the television is turned off when Effy hears the phone. there’s no one she really wants to talk to, so the girl is in no rush to return to her room and dig the cellphone out from the bundle of blankets askew on the bed. at the familiar name she answers and raises the phone to her ear silently.
she blinks a few times until he speaks and the slur of the words is enough to tell her what this is about. ❝ i’m at home. ❞ three words pass her lips in a hushed tone as she lowers herself to the bed, a hand raising to rub her forehead. ❝ where are you? ❞
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COOK:
“What’s the fuckin’ difference? Nothing good ever stays with me. Absolutely nothing.”
❝ Haven’t you figured it out yet , Cook ? Nothing GOOD ever lasts . Life always finds a way to fuck it up . ❞
She wraps her legs around your waist. She whispers in your ear. “Stay.” This is your cue to kiss her. Wrap your fingers in her hair; enclose them around her neck. Hard. Just hard enough to feel her pulse, the quiet beat beat beating. She won’t always be this vulnerable, this open. Right now her trust is in the palm of your hand. This is your cue to pull her closer. Place a gentle thumb on her bottom lip and breathe. “Stay, stay, stay” she says. Tell her you will. Tell her: “okay.”
S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #200 (via blossomfully)
imsg 📩@ ⚡💊 effy 💊⚡
TRISTAN: i have it
EFFY: ok
imsg 📩@ ⚡💊 effy 💊⚡
TRISTAN: i can see that
TRISTAN: okay i'll be there soon
EFFY: are you picking up or do you have some?
imsg 📩@ ⚡💊 effy 💊⚡
TRISTAN: oh, so i get to choose?
EFFY: im feeling generous?
imsg 📩@ ⚡💊 effy 💊⚡
TRISTAN: ah
TRISTAN: want me to pick up anything?
EFFY: depends what youre in the mood for.
The problem is that none of you know me. It’s not your fault, but you pretend to, and I let you because I like it when strangers say they love me. Especially when they’re far away enough to not have to show it. I’m not a liar. I am, but I’m not. Have you ever been so empty that the echo turned into a story? Into a new body that weeped forever? I don’t know what love is. I’ve been working up to that. I’m just howling. I’m looking at faces and getting smaller. I touch myself but I never fuck myself. It’s different. I shouldn’t be waiting for someone but I am. I’m shrinking, shrieking, shaking like a leaf. I’m a boat sailing to the new world but there’s no one on it. I’m blazing fucking trails but I’m alone. A stranger. Men make me cry. Women make me wish I was brave. Not a soul in this world could love me. I wouldn’t even know what it looked like.
Caitlyn Siehl, The Untouchable (via alonesomes)
imsg 📩@ ⚡💊 effy 💊⚡
TRISTAN: don't have to worry about any awkward run ins with your mom?
EFFY: she's not home.
EFFY: probably fucking my dad's boss about now.
RP starters: Concern.
“It’s midnight, where the hell were you?!”
“Stop keeping your phone in silent, you got me worried!”
“Blood? Are you bleeding?”
“I don’t like the idea of you walking down the streets all alone.”
“I thought I would never see you again…”
“We should get you to hospital.”
“Where did all those bruises came from?”
“I have the right to be worried!”
“Have you been drinking? You look terrible.”
“Sleep at my place tonight.”
“I don’t feel safe letting you be alone when you’re in that shape.”
“Please talk to me about it.”
“Let me take care of you.”
“You need to rest now. Don’t move.”
“How many times have I told you to not go there?”
“You could’ve died, you know…”
“I don’t care if you don’t want my help, I’ll do it anyways.”
“You really need to stop drinking. I’m serious.”
“This time you got yourself into a hospital. I think that’s a sign.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“You need to stop doing stupid shit like that or you will get yourself killed.”
“I’m your friend, of course I care!”
“You know I’m always here for you, right?”
“You’re not okay.”
“I’m just trying to help you.”
“Let me clean your wounds…”
“Why did you do it? Tell me.”
imsg 📩@ ⚡💊 effy 💊⚡
TRISTAN: i'm moving as fast i can
EFFY: door's unlocked then.