If I Believed Someone Liked Me, It Would Be You [Closed to Lester] [September 14th]
Relief floods him and he knows it’s silly (Varys would hardly just abandon him at the first sign of trouble) but the very really threat of homelessness had been nagging at the back of his mind, even with all his other very real, very pressing worries. At least now he knows he’ll have somewhere to go, rather than just guessing. ”Thanks, Varys. Thank you so so much.”
This conversation has drained him. It seems everything lately drains him, makes him feel like less himself and more some paranoid, unhappy creature that can’t stop moving and can’t ever be satisfied. He used to be, well, not happy, but content with life, but now everything’s gone so wrong and he can’t even feel like himself anymore.
He wonders how Varys feels. It’s deeply unfortunate that he knows so little about someone he considers his friend—and his closest friend if he thinks longer about it. He still wonders if Varys has any other friends, and he can’t imagine them. Who else did he have? Coworkers? Enemies? Not family, surely, and probably not friends either.
But he can’t really talk about any of that with him. It seems too…private for one thing, and he’s pushed enough for today. If Varys wanted him to know anything about his life, well he would tell him. ”Where will I move to? I would like to be somewhere close to work… Unless that’s impossible, in which case, I’ll go wherever I can.”
Varys is pleased that Lester appreciated his help, though he felt it selfish to indulge in the sentiment. But in his job he was seldom thanked for the things he did, and even less so when it came to things done outside of Thames House. He may be a servant of the country, but he is still human. Nonetheless, it was the least he could do for his friend who had managed to get himself entangled in all this wretched business. "You’re welcome," he said with a certain effortlessness that could be interpreted as that Lester wouldn’t have needed to thank thank him. Varys can see on his friend’s face that this conversation and the situation itself is wearing him down. But no normal person could be expected to become a spy overnight, not when it took years of training — that was to become even moderately competent at it. Some parts just couldn’t be taught. He nodded, “I can certainly find a place for you that’s close to work.” He tried to think of off the top of his head where he might place him, but he needed to consider the matter with great thought before he decided. “For now, just continue on working as if everything is fine. Can you do that for me?”
Lester smiles at Varys's offer. That's all he really needs. He doesn't really care where he lives, as long as he's close-by. It's not like he has much of a life, not outside his job, and his plans, and Varys. He wonders if he really is at danger at home, but Varys says he is and Varys knows far far more about all of this than Lester ever will. Hopefully, at least. It seems that he'll have to learn anyway, even though he never wished to. "That would be great. Thank you."
He nods, again, thoughtfully. To be honest, working like he always has been doesn't mean much the same as it did a few months ago. Working as usual doesn't just mean attending meetings, signing papers, and doing his boss's job for him. It means dealing with terrorists and the Prime Minster and all sorts of other hopeless, dangerous pursuits. But he knows that Varys means and he'll do as he suggests. There's really not much else to do.
"Yes, I can do that." A thought strikes him, and he leans from one foot to another and tilts his head. "And you? What will you do?"
