Lethe @lethebinded - Tumblr Blog

Yeah it really is disheartening if all your efforts and hardwork are wasted or shunned aside. Been looking for a place for about 2 weeks already and still no progress. I've visited new areas I will never go to, met new people and talked to them bout some things, too. I should be happy about those exps but I can't because this moving thing is draining me and stressing me out big time. I feel so helpless and feels like the universe is against me.

Can't the universe cut me some slack sometimes? I just wanna have some peace of mind that we can move to a new and nice place. It's tiring me to the core. My loud and jolly facade at work is starting to crumble due to personal matters.

A breather please. I want a good satisfying sleep without thinking about replies from landlords and just telling me it's already taken.

2 stories of weddings: The first one i cannot really remember. But i can feel that it was pretty important and normal for me. After we went home, the second wedding started to commence. A more vivid dream. I think that we're getting dressed. I can feel it during that time. Someone knocked on the door. Very distinct kid voice. Once we opened the door, i think the little girl (due to the anime) went inside and we started talking about something. While chatting, I told them that the 2 caterer guys by the stairs are too nosy. It seems like it's already the reception. No wedding yet if I can recall. When i walked outside, i see a very long line. I circled the queue to confirm it is indeed long. I saw the caterer dump either beef or chicken and got one for myself. I saw someone (guy i think) doing a facebook call about the stuff that is happening at the wedding. The one on the other line is a guy (got this a while ago when i saw a workmake do a video facebook call. Then after that, i think someone invited me to go somewhere. We rode a van. the vehicle's weird. It uses a different contraption that is circly I cant remember this part clearly. Then when we got off, the person was flexing as if trying to relieve body fatigue or tension. We walked inside a mall-like building. Got through many turns and on the tech alleyway, we stopped. Another person came out from the right hand side trying to startle me. Good job you did. I immediately felt my gut spin. I felt immense pain. I asked him something to the extent of asking if the person will marry the other person. The respose is vague or it is sensoring my brain to understand. I heard no or not yet which doesn't make sense to me because there is already a reception. I forgot i also saw the person who usually cooks having a long semi curly hair chatting as the food are being delivered. That person usually dont do that but i think she's content chatting. Going back, the person tried to poke my stomach and tried to tickle me but once i turned my back and decided to leave, i woke up and got immensely sad.

Ill try to get amotjekj(dozed off a bit) a nap

2 stories of weddings: The first one i cannot really remember. But i can feel that it was pretty important and normal for me. After we went home, the second wedding started to commence. A more vivid dream. I think that we're getting dressed. I can feel it during that time. Someone knocked on the door. Very distinct kid voice. Once we opened the door, i think the little girl (due to the anime) went inside and we started talking about something. While chatting, I told them that the 2 caterer guys by the stairs are too nosy. It seems like it's already the reception. No wedding yet if I can recall. When i walked outside, i see a very long line. I circled the queue to confirm it is indeed long. I saw the caterer dump either beef or chicken and got one for myself. I saw someone (guy i think) doing a facebook call about the stuff that is happening at the wedding. The one on the other line is a guy (got this a while ago when i saw a workmake do a video facebook call. Then after that, i think someone invited me to go somewhere. We rode a van. the vehicle's weird. It uses a different contraption that is circly I cant remember this part clearly. Then when we got off, the person was flexing as if trying to relieve body fatigue or tension. We walked inside a mall-like building. Got through many turns and on the tech alleyway, we stopped. Another person came out from the right hand side trying to startle me. Good job you did. I immediately felt my gut spin. I felt immense pain. I asked him something to the extent of asking if the person will marry the other person. The respose is vague or it is sensoring my brain to understand. I heard no or not yet which doesn't make sense to me because there is already a reception. I forgot i also saw the person who usually cooks having a long semi curly hair chatting as the food are being delivered. That person usually dont do that but i think she's content chatting. Going back, the person tried to poke my stomach and tried to tickle me but once i turned my back and decided to leave, i woke up and got immensely sad.

Ill try to get amotjekj(dozed off a bit) a nap

Brain rotting

It’s devastating that Anthony Bourdain surprisingly passed away but just like with the cycle of seasons, I’ll move on and be inspired with all the things that he’s done throughout his life. Thank you for everything, Bourdain! You’ll definitely be missed. (Though I abruptly stopped watching your show, I’ll eventually watch it in the near future including the tribute to you. I’d reserve a special time for that.

Yeah, now I kinda understand why doing it can be really unfair. I don’t really share my thoughts and problems all of the time because I think I can manage and bury them under the rag and have thoughts about it because of “the feeling”, but I’ve somewhat lived until now. I’m still here clawing my way to life and facing any tribulations that comes to me. Let’s face all of them together, with a smile on our face.

*******************************************************************************************

Every time I see a person that resembles your image, I get really damn sad and depressed and really pissed and would usually take some time to recover with that thought. It seems that you’ve unknowingly occupied a part of my subconscious that pisses me off. This doesn’t usually happen, especially because it me but with all the people I’ve encountered, you seem to be the itch that I am unable to reach. The feeling can be so frustrating but like my ever so eternal cold, I can live with it and just let it pester my head. Actually, this would be the first time for me to air this one out because I just feel like writing here (Hello Tumblr!) and because I’m bored and my brain is rotting from all the Apple issues and personal issues that I’ve been encountering everyday.

I’ll live. I hope so.

To more exciting trips and happenings and unexpected events in the future with my buddies.

*Side note: It’s been a while since I’ve posted something here. My writing skills if ever I have one has been really really really rusty. I need to engage myself in more reading and writing stuff as to not make my brain mushy. My grammar has gone from 5 to 2. I’ll try to allot some time to finish some books that I’ve bought and re-read some books available here at our place.

I think I am unable to understand people. I dont know how love works. My perception of love might be different from the norm. Here I am thinking I'm normal but in reality I am. Maybe I should accept it wholeheartedly(?). ..

My boss slipped and fell while getting his phone. He's drunk kinda. Everyone got worried. He got a minor laceration in his eye area. Maybe it's because he's so drunk that he began blurting out words like being thankful for the team for being really affectionate. He began crying and started sharing about stuff about his family. He's been living away from his family for a while now, I think. Almost everyone was giving him words of endearment and he continue crying for some time. I found it really amusing. Maybe because he's new. Maybe because he has some issues he has been keeping to himself not being able to vent out or something. Maybe he just liked how the team is treating him. I dont know.

Humans like me are really interesting.

Watashi wa Chris-desu. I wont be deterred by anything. I'll rise up like a phoenix from my ashes and be a better version of myself. I know it or rather, I must believe on it. This will be my resolve. This will be the driving force that will keep me sane and living. I will be like Mumen Rider. *cue shinzou wo sasageyou theme*

Im starting to have fun at work. I think this is my calling lol. Why? Coz here, i can use my random knowledge about everyrthing to talk to the customer. Yipee

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I’m so tired of everything.

Just had a very disturbing dream that left me extremely sad and shocked and forced my body to wake itself up. I won’t be forgetting this any time soon. I didn’t want to go to work after waking up but I had to. Shit work.

It just dawned on me: I've made up my mind and got a temporary goal, to be a teacher. If I can still make it and still sane enough, I'll try the UP open thingy and study there while working. I'll give up marriage and be single forever and adopt kids or animals. Not yet final, let's be clear about that. Need to exercise and save some money and get a passport. Ooor study about animals or food. We'll see in the future.

I'm so fucking pissed right now I'm very much tempted to pass my resignation letter later and not wait for the ham and the 13th month pay. OMFG. Decisions.

It was uncalled-for. It's like telling everyone that person A's underwear is "bacony", person B's breath stinks and person C's has brain defects. I know that person only wants person A,B and C to be a better person overall, but I think (no matter how hardheaded A,B or C is) it should be better to keep it amongst themselves. What would person A,B or C feel if that certain person in charge blatantly told everyone about their flaws? Demotivated. That's what. For some, like person A, he'll be compelled to be a better person but what about person B or C? That kind of action was thought through hastily. --like above example.

I’m in dire need of hug right now. I had a minor panic attack a while ago or I think it was. I became jittery and wanted to go home. This work is taking a toll on me. Lots of noises around, people talking, lots of stuff that needs to be done. I just want to curl up and sob. This is not healthy.

A bit better now. I’m just so exhausted. i want to do nothing. Just lie around and not think. It makes me crazy. It makes me extremely sad.

I'm a prisoner in this world, in this realm. Bound by the chains of time, responsibilities and bills. I cannot stand it any longer but I still go on and do my usual stuff because humans have this unique trait.. to endure. But for how long? I'm slowly dying from the inside. My facade, my cool, my infinite patience, they're slowly crumbling. In the end, it doesn't really matter. *dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun*

pokemongoexcitement

Random Pokemon Go Thought

Every day that passes without Pokemon Go is another day it’s getting better. People somewhere out there are working on working out bugs so that they can keep Missing No. from destroying our teams. They’re making sure everything works the way it should so that when they finally release it we’ll have good memories of our first day playing it rather than feeling frustrated because the game crashed a thousand times.

I'm still sane enough to handle anything the world throws at me. It's one admirable thing I admire being human, resilience.

This is the premise of my shameful Facebook post but deleted it afterwards since I realized the audience there wouldn’t understand and will just get senseless likes and empty comments. It’s not meant to plug anything but I felt it’s very timely, being leap year and stuff.

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