Hi, so this is my power point on hockey fights! Unfortunately, I'm going to have to put my speaker's notes in numbers down here because of how this website works (as far as I can tell), but here you go:
Slide 1: I made this for a 5-minute power point party, upon the birthday of a friend of mine who really likes Ryan Price.
Slide 2: It’s not actually a hockey fight unless both players drop their gloves at roughly the same time. Then you’re allowed to punch the other guy. If you're just shoving each other around, that's sparkling roughing. If you punch a guy with your gloves on, that’s a much bigger penalty. If you jump a guy and start wailing on him before he drops his gloves, that’s also a bigger penalty (although still a fight).
Slide 3: An enforcer, like from the 50s-80s, used to be a guy who was basically a boxer who was barely taught how to skate and who kinda halfassedly played hockey. “Enforcers” these days are all quite good hockey players, or they used to be. Pat Maroon, a (retired) notoriously punchy boy, was drafted (admittedly 161st overall) because of his pretty skating! Also there are supposedly more fights in the AHL, partly because the guys are all trying to make the big club.
Slide 4: Brad Marchand is the guy on the left, and Tom Wilson is the guy on the right. Brad Marchand is like 5’9 and called the Rat King, has 1026 points in 1139 career games. Tom Wilson is 6’5 and built like a refrigerator. This year, Wilson has 42 points in 40 games, but historically he’s around a 40- to 50-point per season guy. Pests aren’t necessarily any body type, but power forwards do tend to be bigger. (These numbers are as of when I put it together, which was in late Dec/early Jan.)
Slide 5: Sid = Sidney Crosby, probably the best hockey player alive. Nate = Nathan MacKinnon, also a very good hockey player, but one with a notorious temper. Ryan Reaves is Black in hockey and Black players do kinda get funneled into the “Enforcer” role, because of racist microaggressions, but he also has never really scored all that many goals. He can play actual hockey, though--he skates just fine, can handle the puck, etc. No one's been a boxer on skates in years.
Slide 6: Mats Zuccarello is five-eight. Maybe. Officially. For real, probably five-six. Also here is a picture of him trying to check the biggest guy ever to play hockey, who was over a foot taller than he is: https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/mats-zuccarello-of-the-new-york-rangers-hits-zdeno-chara-of-news-photo/169809542 (Cross-checking is where you have the stick in both hands and whack the other guy, usually in the back, with it.)
Slide 7: 2-5-10: 2 minutes for instigating (a fight), 5 for fighting, 10 for misconduct (occasionally elevated to game misconduct, which is 10 minutes + you're thrown out of the rest of the game, so someone else has to sit your penalties). The "Is Kim" part is a joke from a discussion of KJC's Will Darling trilogy. Feel free to ignore it if it isn't your fandom.
Slide 8: Fights represent 5-10% of concussions in a season, which is still a lot! But not as many as it could be. Here's the thing, though: I am not a fan of fights in hockey, but I'm also a giant ref hater, so until the refs stop being COMPLETELY USELESS, I think there should be fights.
("REF YOU SUCK!" chant echoes faintly in the background.)
Slide 9: THE BEST KIND OF FIGHTS ARE GOALIE FIGHTS!!!!!!!!! There was just one on Jan 19!!!!!!!!!!!! I screamed!! Anyway, here's the one from Jan 19 (Bob vs Ned): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ifqx0RgXWxM
and here's the one I linked in the presentation, the one from 2020 (Mike Smith vs Cam Talbot): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXW_xojz8Cw
Even if you hate hockey fights, goalie fights are--well, not a lot of punches hit. @beautifulduckweed described it as "two Michelin men trying to duke it out," which I think is beautiful.
And I can't go without putting a link to the almost-goalie fight from 2023, with Jordan Binnington and Marc-Andre Fleury, who should have gotten to punch Binnington a little! (or a lot) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ9DtnfF55o
CONCLUSION/disclaimer: I wrote this for a bunch of people who only know things about hockey that I, personally, have told them. (Mostly.) I simplified things somewhat. If you have any questions, you can send them to me, or you can drop them in the comments of this, which is where I'm mostly answering hockey questions these days.