[weavemunchers-deactivated201407]

my personality is 30% the last movie I watched

[asterkid-deactivated20150106]

walking into someone from around the corner in a hallway

[heterophobian]

me: i’m really stressed

someone: just relax!!!!!

me:

[russian-hackers-official-deacti]

“If you eat a lot of dark chocolate, you will soon get used to its natural flavor and prefer it over sugary-sweet artificial milk chocolate” sorry but I can’t even consume one (1) Bitterness Tile without crying

[peenslaya]

drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious and, most importantly, drunk. 

[letitbae-blog]

me drinking liquor

*sittin down drinking*

me: this shit weak. I ain't even drunk.

*stands up*

me: help

[sir-broccoli]

Restroom air dryers are a great way to warm your hands before wiping them on your jeans

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

me using a ouija board: does kelly have a crush on me ouija board: W-A-A-A-A-A-A-H Y-A-A-H-A-H-A-hAAAAA

me: fuck I accidentally bought a waluigi board again

[bloomflowersbloom]

[bikwin5]

[bonginspector]

We all do

[dryvodkamartini-deactivated2013]

[riley-friar]

[onlytwitterpics]

[marimopet]

[slapping]

It wasn’t that long, and it certainly wasn’t the kind of kiss you see in movies these days, but it was wonderful in its own way, and all I can remember about the moment is that when our lips touched, I knew the memory would last forever.

Nicholas Sparks (A Walk to Remember)

[meloetta]

may i have your attention please

ok thank you some attention is all i wanted

[the90swerentreal]

One time in high school I was waiting to talk to the Vice Principal and this other kid came in and sat down next to me. He said “What are you in for?” And I said “Oh, they just want to know if it’s cool if I miss my classes tomorrow to run sound and lights for a presentation in the auditorium. What are you in for?” and he said that he stabbed a kid with a screwdriver. I told him we led very different lives and he agreed.