KEEP CALM AND LOVE MUSIC & TV SHOWS @letloveruleforeverandalways - Tumblr Blog

Hey if you're reading this and you're in a bad spot mentally or anything i hope you feel better soon and have a good day

sickness-health-all-that-shit

Shane 'I don't do anything by halves' Hollander

sickness-health-all-that-shit

wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me

nobody else, so we can be free

shanehollandered

ilya: let's make a deal. if you win tonight, i will blow you, fuck you, whatever you want

shane: and if you win?

ilya: *plants a i will get to have you again; to hold you, to touch you, to kiss you, to be with you. feel your body against mine. feel your breath on my skin. have your hands on me, your mouth on me. i will finally have you in my arms and bed again and be able to do everything i have wanted but couldn't do to you for the last six months. i will have won either way. i'll finally have you again kiss on him*

ilya: good luck tonight

shanehollandered

sinmonger

Heated Rivalry + Reductress/The Onion headlines

sinmonger

Heated Rivalry + Reductress/The Onion headlines (part 2)

yrsonpurpose

hollanov + hands

komaami

Love isn't one color. It's every shade between sunrise and midnight

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

ilyapasta

It's important to me that Shane and Ilya are criers. Big wet sniffling weeping snot guys. Shane's crying in the car on the way home from the club when he should be fucking his hot girlfriend. Ilya's crying in Shane's arms in Tampa because dammit Hollander we can't do this but I want to do this I want it more than anything. They're crying while they say I love you in the refuge of the cottage because they're safe now, they're safe to feel everything they've been wanting to feel. Ilya's crying after fucking his boyfriend so good on Halloween but it doesn't cure him it doesn't make everything better. Shane's crying after they fight because he fucked up mom I'm a terrible boyfriend I fucked up I didn't see how unhappy he was and now I'm going to lose him. They're crying on Facetime because Ilya could have died, and then Shane would have died, everyday, for the rest of his life. They're crying because they're going to spend the rest of their lives together. And then they fuck and lick up each other's fat Studio Ghibli tears while doing it raw. And I give it a standing ovation every time.

lesbianalumni

After Ilya stays in the cottage that first summer, something shifts in a way that scares Shane. He's used to getting completely wired around Ilya: each hookup night meant falling asleep no earlier than 3am, either because they were all over each other until the late hour, or because Shane was pacing around his hotel room, unpacking what just happened.

But now, he gets so tired whenever Ilya is around. His eyelids start to droop and, even though he's spent days or weeks looking forward to reuniting with his boyfriend, all he wants to do is fall asleep in Ilya's arms.

He decides to go to the doctor for some labs, checking for conditions that would make him fatigued. Words like leukemia and lupus came up on his Google searches, so he braces for the worst.

"Everything is perfect, Shane," his doctor tells him over the phone a week later. "But, you know, if you're worried about it, you could talk to a psychiatrist."

He makes an appointment for the next day with the first psychiatrist he finds. He explains the issue again: extreme sleepiness, maybe even narcolepsy, if Web MD is right. After more prompting, he specifies that this happens specifically around his partner.

The psychiatrist smiles at him. "Do you know much about nervous system regulation?" she asks gently. When he shakes his head, she explains further. "There are some people or settings that cause our nervous systems to feel calmer, and, especially for people who spend a lot of their lives in a state of fight or flight, those soothing feelings can make us tired and sleepy. Maybe your body finally feels safe and able to rest."

He doesn't tell Ilya about this until months later, and he's met with a loud squeal and a thousand kisses on his cheeks, jaw, forehead, and collarbones. "I love being your safe place," Ilya says.