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❝Don’t go any further —- ❞
He pointed back at the sign with his thumb. Duck X-ing.
“Hey, I don’t want any.... Oh? Sorry, didn’t see the ducks there...”
For a moment he really thought this guy wanted to fight or something. He hadn’t seen the sign before.
cr1tikal sentence meme
“How was I supposed to know to keep my child alive? There should be a message at the beginning: child is useful, do not murder. Otherwise how would I know, this is ridiculous.”
“Alright, now I wanna sound nice, formal, and normal.”
“Taste the titties with every bite.”
“I have strategically placed sea sponges on my body. Sometimes I’ll even use sea urchin if the price is right.”
“Well fuck you, not even exchanging pleasantries?”
“What the fuck does ASL stand for? Asparagus… Sex… Live?”
“Do I like to talk dirty? Is that even a question? That’s like asking a telephone if it likes ears.”
“Look at this guy, running all the way from Lithuania just to give me the business.”
“Is that titty seaweed?”
“Bitch, I will sprinkle Scooby Snacks all over your face.”
“Alright, I need to get dancing. If the phantoms see I’m not busting a move, fuck’s gonna get shit.”
“Stop conveying such a wide range of emotions!”
“Are you really off balance after one cocktail? You’re a fucking lightweight. And you call yourself an alcoholic?”
“Good afternoon fellow sober citizen! It’s a very nice day out here.”
“It’s probably all the cocaines she has in her system. She’s got some cocaines there, a lot of cocaines. At least 50,000 cocaines.”
“His head just popped off like a lego, that’s all.”
“It is very hard to control a vehicle after bumping three lines of coke!”
“Toy Story 4: rated R for strong language, sexual themes and ass gore.”
“Let’s find out who’s masturbating upstairs.”
“What if I told you that was my husband, huh? Bet that’d take you for a surprise.”
“Okay then, I’ll go fuck myself. Thank you.”
“If I was ever gonna have sex with with a towel, now would be the ideal time to do so.”
“Your mouth says ‘not bad’ but your eyes say ‘everything’s bad.’ You look extremely sad.”
“This is not my home! My home has porn and stuff.”
“Just talk about ass cheeks or grass or something, that’s what I usually do.”
“I might as well go into my closet and grab a fucking Boppet, try to have a conversation with that.”
"Where are we going? Probably some weird fucking place- ooh, I guessed right.”
“Somebody fuck me. I don’t know what is going on.”
Art is how we decorate space, music is how we decorate time.
Jean-Michel Basquiat (via wnq-art)
Kevin stared at Sour for a moment. He was not really expecting it to just be them both on this trip. The pale teenager usually could not be separated from his two pals. For a moment Kevin wondered if Sour was mad at them. “Wow really? “ he asked in a shocked tone. He gawked at the drivers license. “ No fair. I used to have one of those… Hopefully I can get mine back. The photo was really good. “ he said, throwing in the last part to try and pull of a carefree air. He was actually getting kind of excited.
“Yeah, really. Buck and Jenny were suppose to join us, but they’re parents freaked last minute.” he explained and rolled his eyes. It was pretty aggravating that their parent had to cancel last minute. But nothing he could do about it except go on with the friend who could still make it. He looked down at the picture and shrugged at it. He hadn’t taken a look at it before, then again he rarely looked at his own pictures. “Thanks. Till you get it back I guess I’ll be driving you around.”
((Art Credit))
I’m slipping into lava
And trying to keep from going under
Reblog this with your muses 'I fucked up' face
Shit I've said as Starters(feel free to change pronouns)
GHOSTS DON'T HAVE GENITALIA!
I'm gonna romance the egg.
Well that was a fucked up story.
I just don't like being helped.
The cat died of natural causes or the devil came to collect his due.
Fuck writing!
I'm going to cut off my hands so I never have to do this again.
Ok is he mad or is he just entering the room?
I've never been so unaroused in my life.
Our cat is under attack!
Bitch I don't know you well enough for that.
Fight a giant monster, kill a mega asshole.
I think I accidentally convinced my teacher I'm leading a cult.
The egg may be problematic but I love him
These are really invasive questions to ask ghosts.
You can't just ask someone if their parents murdered them.
Yeah, I don't trust nice old people.
I'm really out of it right now so don't.... Mess with me.
Fuck me running sideways.
I'm glad I romanced the egg
Jesus Christ on a bag of fuck nuts.
That thing's been possessed by the god damn devil.
The tables need to stop hanging out with the ghosts...
I hope those kids kill each other.
That's it I'm kink shaming Christmas.
Are there gay trees?
That tree sounds like it's gonna kill itself.
Her voice makes me want to kill.
Please leave my egg alone.
Why is that women so happy to be stalked?
Please make them stop singing.
And they're about to set their damn tree on fire.
Rudolph stop giving me those bedroom eyes!
I fucking love this tree!
That tree is getting kinky.
And Christmas is ruined because he's a jackass.
That kid is high as fuck.
Wait no one's ever seen his face? But his face is right there.
I ate the snowman.
Haven't you taken enough lives you evil ship?
You were the Titanic all along!
I regret romancing the egg.
Kevin barely managed to shoo away that smile and pretend to be confused. Really he figured out the jist of Sour’s idea had to do with that van instantly but it was way more fun to act this way. He was surprised by the road trip mention. “Hmm? Road trip you say? “ he was a bit off put by the fact he was almost positive this was his second choice of companionship. But he pushed those thoughts aside and tried to pull of a gracious reaction. “Sour Dip. Who’s gonna drive us? I got my license taken away remember?”
“Yep! A roadtrip! Just you and I and the road!” He said making a sweeping motion towards the road with his arm. He already had their destination planned out, he’d been saving for a little over a year now and he had enough music for them to listen to that they wouldn’t get bored with the same music. He knew that question was gonna come up and was prepared for the answer. “Geez, man. I don’t know.” He felt a little smug with his answer as he pulled out his wallet and opened it to show his new license. “Certainly not me.”
((*breaks down door* SUP SLUTS GUESS WHO HAS THEIR MUSE BACK!!))
Stars js
lapis in a cute outfit
meet the mun;
NAME: Nah man ALIAS[ES]: Kit, CO GENDER: Gender fluid PLACE OF BIRTH: Texas SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English(with some Latin, Spanish and Japanese) OCCUPATION: Party rental work DRINK | SMOKE | DRUGS: Nah | Nah | Nah LIKE[S]: Writing, role playing, video games, cartoons, other shit DISLIKE[S]: Lots of things FEAR[S]: Spiders PERSONALITY TRAITS: Eh DISORDERS?: ADD, dyslexia, depression, anxiety, bunch of other shit HAIR COLOR: Brown EYE COLOR: Hazel HEIGHT: 5′8″ TATTOOS: Want some PIERCINGS: Ears pierced SIBLING[S]: 1 PARENT[S]: Mum CHILDREN: Nah PET[S]: Parrot, three dogs, cat ORIENTATION: Asexual/Romantically attracted to girls RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Nah
“Sour..” Kevin groaned a bit. This guy was impossible. Sour was always pushing him but it was too goodnatured for Kevin to complain. “I’m going to pass out if I hurry. “he said. Somehow he still managed to make it. He had to smiled a bit at how childishly excited Sour was. The teenager shrugged as he looked around. The was a vehicle at the bottom which made Kevin purse his lips. “I dunno are you giving me work out as your surprise?”
“That’s just a lucky by product of the surprise. But no dude.” He then pointed down to the car grinning again as though the car would explain everything. Finally he announced “It’s a road trip bro! We’re going on a road trip!” He’d been planning this surprise road trip for a while now. Originally Buck and Jenny were suppose to come with but their parents ended up forcing them to stay behind. He would have canceled but he’d put too much effort into this to stop now! “You and I bro hitting the road on an epic road trip!”
“Maybe he’s a hoarder. Or maybe it’s for research, I don’t know.” Shantae guessed
He kind of chuckled at their reply. “He might be, he’s a weird kid after all. One of those extreme theorist guys. Like snakes controlling the government and stuff. I’m Sour Cream by the way.”
MONSTAH-QUEENCONQUER LIKED THIS CALL
“Hey, not meaning to trespass.” Sour Cream said taking a step back from Steven’s house looking to the gem before him. He’d never seen this one before though. So he thought he better explain why he was there before she thought he was trying to do anything wrong. “I wanted to drop something off for Steven. Is he around?”
Kevin peered at the white haired teen with a somewhat irritated pout. He almost said that he always trusted Sour but that would be too forward. “ Okay fine. Just…slow down a little. I can’t catch my breath with you speeding along! “ he mumbled. Though that was the cigarette’s fault.
“How bout you hurry up instead?” he joked back reaching the top of the hill and practically jumping with excitement. He wasn’t usually this excited about much but this certain surprise had him all worked up. When Kevin got up there he grinned and turned towards the edge of the hill. At the bottom of the hill was an old light blue van. “Alright, now take a guess! What’s the surprise?”
