I have been thinking about this for fucking hours
original video link
THIS IS LITERALLY GOING TO BE ME WHEN I EVENTUALLY TAKE SEMANTICS
he brings up a good point BUT I’M DYING OVER HERE
chaz smith is a legend
One Nice Bug Per Day
occasionally subtle

★
Sade Olutola

ellievsbear
Misplaced Lens Cap
Keni
RMH

#extradirty
Cosmic Funnies
YOU ARE THE REASON
sheepfilms
DEAR READER
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Jules of Nature
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

if i look back, i am lost
todays bird

Janaina Medeiros

shark vs the universe

seen from Malaysia

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@letmedrivemyvan
I have been thinking about this for fucking hours
original video link
THIS IS LITERALLY GOING TO BE ME WHEN I EVENTUALLY TAKE SEMANTICS
he brings up a good point BUT I’M DYING OVER HERE
chaz smith is a legend
story time.
the look in your eyes is what gets me.
“so i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i scream”
DEAD
“Story time.
I have this one white friend.
And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,
“Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.” And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”
And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”
And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”
And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”
And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.
So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”
And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”
[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.
And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”
And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”
And I’m like “Yes.”
And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”
I’m like, “No.”
And she’s like “What’s the difference?”
And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”
And she’s like “I don’t understand.”
And I’m like “It’s okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chinese” and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.”
I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT IS TOO REAL, TOO TRUE.
I’m actually crying
rachel knows
Get this out of my face I’m dead serious
these are basically turning into my video diaries
I hate that it’s the right note so much
this changed me as a person
I’m in tears!
I just want to know how the writers of snl knew about my very specific sexual fantasy
my soul: saved
One of my favourites
the shot of a pizza roll dragging across bare skin fucking kills me
I ghostwrote this
me looking at the person i like: i am enamored even with the way your fingers move, with the way the light plays on your skin, with your freckles and your smile and your laughter, with your voice, with how you get around the things you love, with your humor, me aloud: what’s up asshole
When you’re at church and you hear the Grindr message sound and see multiple men with their wives and children reach into their pockets to silence their phones
Reblog to make a white gay big mad
imagine if centaurs and mermaids were the same species, just a really extreme example of sexual dimorphism
how do they breed, argumate
splashily
the mermaids splash upstream like salmon until they meet the centaurs waiting for them at the riverbanks. the mermaids lay eggs into a hole that the centaurs fertilize. When the eggs hatch, the baby centaurs stagger onto land and the baby salmon swim back into the sea
you had me at mermaids splash upstream like salmon
today i hung out w my 15 y/o brothers girlfriend and i jokingly was like “tell me embarrassing stuff about him” and she was like “ok. he has a piss kink” and was 100% serious and i almost crashed the fucking car