Let me be your shelter.

Casper Moretti (Raoul) is so excited to be part of the touring cast of Phantom! As a swing in the Broadway production for a number of years, he's ready to "take his relationship with Phantom to the next level. [ A 1x1 OC RP blog. ]

[letmegotxo]

brooklyn-reynolds:

Brooklyn knew that it was wrong to take this all out on Casper. It wasn’t his fault. He was the only person Brooklyn thought she could go to for advice. She knew that he was bisexual and probably felt the same as her at some point in his life. That didn’t make it any easier to talk about it. Her eyes were sad as she watched him talk about his experience, very similar to how she was feeling right now.

She stood with her back to him as he placed his hands on her shoulders. She tensed up at first, but soon relaxed in his light touch. Using the sleeve of her sweater, Brooklyn wiped her eyes, silently thanking herself for coming to him without any make-up on her face. She closed her eyes as she listened to his wise words and soft voice. “I know…” she whispered. Of course a single relationship wouldn’t make her happy right away, but it would help her take a step towards happiness considering how happy Astrid made her feel. The blonde turned around, taking both of Casper’s hands and holding them in between their bodies. “I love you, Casper. As a friend, of course.” She smiled a bit. “You’re so wise and choose your words so carefully. It really helps me, you know? Not right away, but it makes me realize that this is a choice I have to make myself. That I have to be the one to decide what comes next. Whatever that step might be, good or bad. All I have to do is actually take that step.” She gently squeezed his hands. “You being my friend is part of my happiness, too. God, I’m so glad to have you as the Raoul to my Christine. There’s nobody else in this world I would rather kiss on stage every night….except…Astrid…” she whispered Astrid’s name, though Casper had probably already realized this had been about Astrid all along. “Am I making it weird now? I probably shouldn’t have said that.” Brooklyn scrunched her nose up, shaking her head. “But hopefully you know what I mean. And now I should just shut up and hug you.” She slowly leaned in for a tight hug, her chin resting on his shoulder as she spoke softly close to his ear . “Thank you. I owe you a night out. Just the two of us. We can see a show or something. Whatever you like. Just, thank you.”

Casper was a little relieved when Brooklyn’s tense body started to relax under his touch. He rubbed her shoulders gently, encouraging her. But when she turned around, he released her, not wanting to limit her movements in any way. He knew that he hated being restrained when he was upset. “I love you, too,” he said. “As a friend.” He mostly echoed it because if she felt the need to say it, she probably felt the need to hear it as well. When she complimented him, he laughed a bit, nervous. “Well, I don’t have it all together or anything. Not like I need to tell you that. But I’m glad I can help, whatever way I can.”

When she said Astrid’s name, then promptly made a face, he smiled kindly. “Well, I sort of already figured. But it felt rude to assume.” He reached out and hugged her, cupping the back of her head with one hand. Her voice at his ear was ... intimate, in a weird way. But it didn’t make him feel like he thought he probably should feel. Probably because she just got done confessing her love for someone else. He felt a weird emotion that was oddly close to relief. “You’re the best Christine a guy could ask for. And I’m not just saying that because your understudy is a little intimidating,” he said, trying to get a rise out of her. “You don’t owe me anything. But you’re welcome. Come talk to me about this stuff any time, okay?”

[letmegotxo]

brooklyn-reynolds:

Brooklyn nodded. “Of course I love him. He’s one of my best friends. Sometimes we even joke about our weird relationship.” A small smile tugged at her lips as she thought of him, but that smile quickly faltered when she thought about her current situation with Astrid. “Now that’s the thing I’m scared off..” she mumbled quietly, her eyes darting down to their interwined hands. “I don’t want to force her into anything. I don’t even know if I really like her like that, or if I’m just being weird because she’s my best friend and our friendship sometimes feels like it’s a relationship. It’s a different friendship than you and I have, y’know? I love you and I think you’re the most wonderful person on the planet, but we don’t go on coffee dates or flirt that much, right?” She had started rambling and needed to take a break. She pulled away from Casper and looked into his eyes for a moment. It definitely didn’t feel the same as when she looked into Astrid’s eyes. It didn’t make her feel warm and tingly. It did make her feel happy, but in a different way. More a friendly way.

“I just don’t want to lose her. She’s one of the few best things in my life.” Brooklyn confessed quietly, standing up from her seat on the couch and pacing around the room. “Why am I even bothering you with this? You have so many better things to do, jeez!” She whined, running a hand through her blonde hair. She was frustrated, mostly with herself. She didn’t want to bother anyone with her feelings and definitely not Casper. He was too precious for this world and Brooklyn felt like she was bothering him with her childlike behaviour. “I’m just so lost.” the blonde finally said, calming down her breathing. Her lower lip was trembling but she did her best to keep herself together. She was not going to cry. “I just….I just don’t want to feel like this any longer. I want to be fucking happy for once in my life!” Brooklyn slammed her fist against the wall as frustrated tears fell down her cheeks. She was always smiling and acting happy, but deep inside she was extremely insecure about everything she did and that was all because of her ex-boyfriend.

Casper was careful, reading her body language and listening to her words. It was a bit overwhelming, actually, but he’d manage with it. He nodded along, not wanting to interrupt her until she addressed him directly, asking about the difference between their friendship and the friendship she had with this ... nameless friend. “Of course, I understand. And this stuff is confusing, Brooklyn. You aren’t alone or weird for feeling that way. I know when I started realizing that I liked guys, I felt the same way. It’s not really a decision that happens overnight.” He knew from firsthand experience how easy it was to get tripped up in his own head, convinced that he was irreparably weird or dumb and no one else had ever been afraid of what he was afraid of, that he was somehow defective and broken. He hated hearing that Brooklyn felt that way.

Especially when she once again apologized for bothering him. “Brooklyn, you aren’t bothering me. You’re my friend. I care about you and I want to know what’s going on with you, just like you want to know what’s going on with me.” He stood cautiously, his heart breaking when she admitted that she was lost and unhappy. He had never guessed that Brooklyn would have felt this way. She always seemed so cheerful and upbeat. “Brooklyn ...” He said cautiously, approaching her. He moved to lightly put his hands on her shoulders, doing it slowly, giving her time to pull away if she wanted to or needed to. “You deserve to feel happy. And a single relationship ... it doesn’t make everything better. It doesn’t make the doubts or the fears go away, trust me, but ... but if you think this girl might be part of that, for you ... and if you think you can be part of that for her ...” He shrugged. “I can’t tell you what the answer is. But I can tell you that there isn’t a right answer. In these situations, there’s just the answer you pick. It may seem scary, but it’s actually pretty great. Because there’s no right answer, that means there’s no wrong one. No punishment or anything like that, just ... life, moving forward. You just get to pick the direction.” He was rambling a bit, mangling something his therapist had told him in a different situation and spitting something else out that maybe wasn’t all that helpful. But he hoped Brooklyn would find some use out of it.

[letmegotxo]

brooklyn-reynolds:

Brooklyn didn’t take his hand at first, still determined to leave. But then his words hit her. She didn’t really want to leave, why else did she come here in the first place? She came here to talk to Casper about what happened, not to burst in and then leave again. Her eyes fixated onto the closed door and then back to Casper as she shook her head. She didn’t want to leave. Brooklyn let him take her hands, letting out a defeated sigh. She would have to deal with herself right now. She sat back down next to Casper, holding his hands as she stared blankly to the floor. But she was listening. She was paying attention to his words. He had experience feeling like this, he was bisexual. But Brooklyn was straight, at least that’s what she thought until she had kissed her best friend. She cherished their friendship deeply and she knew that she was ruining it by acting like this. She didn’t want to talk about it, especially not to Astrid, and she knew that by fleeing the room the second Astrid wanted to talk to her about it, she was pushing her best friend away. And she really didn’t want to.

“I just don’t know, Casper. It’s like I suddenly realized that maybe I’m attracted to girls as well. It kind of makes sense, y’know?” She sighed softly, her head leaning against his shoulder while her hands were tightly holding his. “I never really paid attention to boys, I dated them because I felt left out if I didn’t. There were no real feelings, at least not until I met my ex.” Touchy subject. “I even dated my male best friend because we both felt lonely, but we both knew it wasn’t going to work. It was still fun though. And guess what? Now he has a boyfriend.” A small smile appeared on her face thinking of him, they still talked on a daily basis and their friendship was amazing. Just a bit different from her relationship with Astrid. “I just….I just never had actual feelings for a girl. But when I’m with As-this girl…I feel happy. She always manages to make me smile even when I’m not feeling good. She’s so incredibly sweet and I can always talk to her about serious stuff. I know she’s there for me.” She sighed. She didn’t want to mention Astrid in all this. “But I don’t want to risk ruining our friendship by saying that I might like her a bit more than just a friend. What if she doesn’t feel the same way? I don’t even know if I really like girls that way or if I’m just having a friendly crush on her. Why is life so complicated?” Brooklyn played with Casper’s fingers as her mind once again ran off to Astrid and wondered how she was feeling about all this.

Casper was a little relieved when Brooklyn decided to stay. He meant what he said, that he wouldn’t force her, but he also wouldn’t know what to do with himself if she decided to run out. He’d be worried about her being in such a state by herself, but he’d also know that sometimes you had to be alone. He wondered if that’s what he made people feel like when he ran off. But this wasn’t about him. This was about Brooklyn, and he didn’t interrupt her once, only nodding when she said it made sense. It was something he had felt when he first realized his attraction to men, too. Once he definitely admitted it to himself, it was like every interaction he had with male friends in the past suddenly took on a different light. He was sure that Brooklyn was going through something similar, but she had a train of thought and he didn’t want to derail it.

He ... had a pretty good idea of who Brooklyn was talking about. He figured it had to be Astrid, because if it wasn’t, why wasn’t she talking to her about all of this? But he wasn’t going to call her out on it. When she finally seemed to talk herself out, Casper cleared his throat. “Well,” he said. “I can’t answer that question. Life just is complicated, and that sucks. But, I don’t think you have to worry about ruining your friendship. Like, remember that male friend you told me about? You guys dated, it didn’t work, and later he found out that he liked guys. But you still love him, um, as a friend, right? I think that, if you’re honest with this girl — even if it turns out that you are straight, or, you know, whatever — you guys can go back to being friends. Especially if you make her feel like she makes you feel. W-Which I bet you do.” He couldn’t imagine anyone not liking Brooklyn.

[letmegotxo]

brooklyn-reynolds:

When Casper gave a response, Brooklyn knew that she couldn’t crawl back. She was going to have to deal with it now. She placed the book back where she got it from and pulled her legs back to herself when Casper stood up. A slight smile appeared on her face when he closed the door. He was so caring. She shrugged at his question. She just didn’t know. Was she supposed to know what she felt like? “Yeah…” her voice was weak as she answered. His hand on her arm felt comfortable and she couldn’t help but lean closer to him. Her head comfortably resting against his shoulder and her arms wrapped around herself as if she was trying to protect herself. Because that was what she was feeling like. She felt like she had to protect herself from feeling like this. The way she had felt when kissing Astrid was something she had never felt before and it scared her.

“I don’t want to feel like this…I feel like shit..” Brooklyn let out a deep sigh that contained all of her frustration. She went quiet again, her mind being too busy processing what she was actually feeling when she thought of Astrid. Even though she felt comfortable sitting like this, cuddled up against Casper, it didn’t feel the same as when she cuddled up with Astrid. “I think I love her.” she blurted out, raising both of her eyebrows when she realized she had said it out loud. That was not her intention. “Sorry…..jeez I should just shut the fuck up. I’m a fucking mess.” Brooklyn wasn’t one to curse, especially not in front of Casper. But her frustration got the better of her and she hated that Casper had to be the victim of her incapability of keeping herself together. She pulled away from him and stood up, ready to leave the room before she made an even worse fool of herself. “I should go..” her arms folded over her chest as she stood there, trying extremely hard not to burst into tears in front of him. Even though she was feeling like it. She had kept it all inside of her for too long. 

Casper stood, holding out one hand to her. “Brooklyn ...” He had never seen her in such a state before. It reminded him ... well, of him. And that broke his heart. No one should have to deal with the sort of nonsense his brain tried to throw at him on a daily basis. He kept his voice quiet, calm, the way that worked best for him when he felt like that. “Brooklyn, you aren’t a mess. What you’re feeling right now ... it’s all valid. And you know I’m not going to force you to stay here. You’re the one who is in control here. You can walk out that door right now and I would never stop you ... but is that really what you want?”

Touch. Brooklyn liked touch. He reached out and took her hands in his -- loosely, so that she could pull away if she wanted. He was serious about not forcing her to stay here. “Something happened. Something big, something that totally changed the way you think about yourself. A change that big is going to be scary at first, and because you’re scared, of course you’re going to think of it as bad. That’s totally natural. But if you keep pushing it down, trying to pretend that it isn’t there -- it’s never going to stop feeling new and scary and bad.” God, this sort of thing was so easy to tell other people. It was almost funny. Why should she be taking advice from someone like him? He pushed his doubt down, though, for her sake. “I think it would help you to talk this out. Sometimes just talking makes things seem a little less scary. And I -- I’m a really good listener.” He gave her hands a little squeeze, making a conscious effort to keep his body language open. He sort of went closed off by default, but that was the opposite of what Brooklyn needed right now. He could handle whatever she had to throw at him, and he tried to telegraph that. “Maybe if you talk it out ... You’ll realize that what you’re afraid of really isn’t all that scary after all.”

[letmegotxo]

brooklyn-reynolds:

Friendly advice

There only had been one thing on her mind lately, the kiss with Astrid. It hadn’t been a quick kiss on the lips. It was a real kiss. Brooklyn had initiated it and Astrid had kissed her back. Her heart had been racing and she felt incredibly hot afterwards. That wasn’t normal for friends who kissed, right? Astrid had been on her mind almost 24/7 since that evening in their hotel room. Brooklyn had slept on the sofa and now that they had moved to another city, Brooklyn was sharing a room with one of the ensemble girls. No more tension between her and Astrid, she thought. Except, there was. A whole lot of tension even. Brooklyn tried to avoid her friend as much as possible, but it was a lost game. They shared a dressing room and had to perform together on stage. The stage part went fine, Brooklyn just put her brightest smile on and acted all happy, while she was almost exploding from the tension between her and Astrid. The dressing part, however, was a different story. Most of the time they sat in silence, only talking when it was necessary. Astrid had tried to bring the event up, but Brooklyn always found an excuse to leave the room.

So, here she was. After yet another lame excuse to leave her dressing room, Brooklyn had hurried to Casper and Matthew’s dressing room. Matthew wasn’t there, but fortunately Casper was. She sat down on the other end of the sofa he was sitting on, resting her feet in his lap. No words were said. She grabbed a book that was close to her and opened it, trying to read but her mind was going crazy. The blonde needed to talk to someone about it. And who better than Casper? One of her closest friends on tour and a bisexual. And right now, Brooklyn was doubting her straightness, because that kiss with Astrid was really making her go wild. “I think I’m in love…with a girl.” She closed the book in her hands and glanced at Casper. One part of her hoped he hadn’t heard her, but the other part of her hoped he had and wanted to talk about it.

Casper was getting into the groove of things. He still got nervous, of course, but not to the point of full-on freakouts every night. Just butterfies and the occasional tight feeling in his chest. He got to sleep most nights without replaying every mistake over in his head -- he only played through about half. In Casper-terms, he was doing pretty good. The same could not be said of Brooklyn. Of course, he noticed that something was up with her. He didn’t know if she wanted him to bring it up or not. He figured that she’d probably tell him if she was ready to talk, so for now, he just was there for her when she needed him. And now, it seemed like that finally paid off. Her confession, almost too quiet to be heard, was clearly what was bothering her.

He didn’t know what he expected to feel when she told him that. Jealous? But he wasn’t, at all. Just a little sorry for her, that she was clearly so confused and broken up about it. Casper sat up a little straighter, looking at her. “Oh? Oh.” He didn’t know what to say. He remembered how hard it was to come to terms with things when he first liked a guy. He didn’t want to play it off like it was no big deal, but ... he didn’t want her to feel like it was a big deal. “Hang on.” He stood up, then went and closed the door. She was having a hard enough time with this. “How does that ... make you feel?” He put his hand on his face. “Yeesh. I sound like a cliche therapist? But really ...” He moved to her, sitting next to her on the couch. “Brooklyn, is this why you’ve been so quiet lately?” He touched her arm, gently, remembering that she liked touch when she wanted to be comforted. It was also a silent invitation to hug him if she needed it, something they had gotten better about.

[letmegotxo]

gift.

[letmegotxo]

stephanie-ramsey:

Stephanie curiously raised an eyebrow at Casper’s answer, but she didn’t question it. He had probably not expected her to ask which city he was looking forward to visiting. “Well, we do need good food. Got to have our energy levels up and going with shows almost every night, right?” She tried to lighten the mood a little, even though that was nothing like her. Most of the time she was the one that worried too much and other people tried to snap her out of her worry-mode by joking. Astrid, for example, did exactly that. She could make Stephanie feel comfortable, but sometimes she wished that they could have a serious conversation without Astrid trying to fit in a joke. Stephanie could have serious conversations with Casper, but she often found herself trying to lighten the mood. They were friends, at least that’s what Stephanie thought, but still getting to know each other better. Friendships didn’t dive right into deep emotional stuff right away, conversations were light at first. Stephanie considered her and Astrid to have reached the stage of friendship where they could talk about serious stuff, but maybe Astrid thought differently.

Emily settled down in the double bed, only her feet covered by the blanket. Stephanie chuckled as she saw her little girl lying in a bed that was meant for two adults. It was quite a sight. She reached for her phone and snapped a picture of her daughter in the big bed. She tucked it back into her back pocket and smiled at Casper. “I guess it’s your turn.” The woman leaned with her back against the wall, folding her arms over her chest. Even though she hated bothering Casper with her daughter now that he finally had a room to himself, she also felt grateful for him staying with them and even bringing them a gift. He was too pure for this world. Stephanie hoped he knew that.

Casper nodded, relieved that she didn’t pry. A lot of people in the cast knew his parents, of course. They wanted to know what they were like. He never really knew how to respond to those kinds of questions. He didn’t really know what his parents were like. Dedicated to acting? That was probably the nicest thing he could say about them that he knew for sure was true. They didn’t have much to do with him before they realized he could hold a tune and act decently, and from then on out that was basically all they focused on. Lessons, training, auditions, that was what his life consisted of. Even though he never got anything but an ensemble or an understudy role before this one, they never let him give up. 

When Emily settled down into bed, he nodded, grinning. This was easy. He leaned forward and pulled the blanket over, tucking Emily in all the way up to her chin and then tickling her, which earned him a giggle. Then he made her promise to go to sleep if he sang her a lullaby. When she did, he began to sing softly. “Everything has its season, everything has its time, show me a reason and I’ll soon show you a rhyme ...” He sang very differently than he did onstage, no vibrato, careful not to be too loud. In the parts of the song where an actor would usually belt, he opted to change it, make it softer. He didn’t really know why he picked it. Probably just because Pippin was one of his favorite musicals. Whatever the reason, it seemed to work with Emily okay. Her eyes fluttered closed and soon she was breathing deep and even. He sang quieter and quieter, eventually humming a verse before stopping altogether. Then he got up and turned to Stephanie, a small smile still on his face.

[letmegotxo]

gift.

[letmegotxo]

stephanie-ramsey:

Stephanie smiled. “That does sounds like the perfect date, to be honest.” It had been a while since Stephanie had been able to have an evening like that. And as Casper mentioned it, she thought of asking Astrid and Brooklyn to watch Emily for a night so she could have one night for herself. Stephanie loved her daughter more than she could put in words, but she could use a night off from her mom-duties. She wasn’t going to bother Casper with watching Em for her when he finally had a room for himself. Plus, both Astrid and Brooklyn seemed to get along with Emily and their room was next to Stephanie’s so they could always barge in if things were hard to handle. “Thanks for the idea, I’ll have to plan in a date night as well.” The brunette chuckled quietly.

She watched her little girl get ready until Casper spoke up, her eyes darting back to him. She didn’t miss the way how he had called Emily by her nickname, it was cute. “Well, I think we’re most excited about going back to Seattle, right Em?” Emily nodded in approval. “It’s where we live, so Emily has her friends there and I do too. Plus, she’ll get to see her grandparents since they’re coming to see the show then.” Stephanie felt bad about taking Emily away from her friends just because she had to work. She had promised her that this would be the last time they would have to travel with a tour. Stephanie was going to try and find a job closer to home so Emily could go to school and stay with her friends. Yes, she did get private tutoring almost every day but it wasn’t the same as being in a class with your friends. “What about you, Casper?” She asked him curiously, her head tilting a bit to the side.

He chuckled a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think everyone in the cast and crew deserves a night like that, to be honest. Touring is ...” He paused, mulling over his word choice. Exhausting sounded a bit too dramatic, even if it was technically what he felt. “Hard work,” he finished instead, shaking his head. He was looking forward to a night alone in his hotel room, where he didn’t have to worry about a single pair of eyes being on him until the next day. That said, he didn’t begrudge Emily his time. He remembered how much he craved attention as a kid. Even though Emily was lucky enough to have a mom who gave her plenty ... She was still only one person. It was probably really hard for both of them. He had no problem playing around.

He nodded as Stephanie talked about Seattle, mostly so she knew he was listening. “That’s really cool! I bet you guys will have a great time.” As she posed the question right back to him, he started a bit. “Oh! Uh, well ... I’ve heard Boston’s really cool. I know we won’t have much time to check it out, but at the very least I’ve heard the food is good.” His sounded a little lame compared to Stephanie’s. But, well — his parents were in New York City, and obviously the tour wasn’t going to stop there. And if they went out of their way to see him, he’d probably just get nervous to the point of getting sick and his understudy would have to go on.

[letmegotxo]

gift.

[letmegotxo]

stephanie-ramsey:

“Go brush your teeth, honey.” Stephanie told her daughter who happily skipped towards the bathroom. Then the older woman turned back to Casper. “If you want you can tuck her in bed, she can get ready herself, but I think she’ll like it if you sing her a song or tell her a story before she goes to sleep.” It was something Stephanie always did when Emily was ready for bed. She’d sing her a song or read to her from one of the books Emily had taken with her on tour and the little girl would fall asleep soon after. Stephanie really didn’t want to bother Casper with Emily, but he didn’t seem to mind. “You don’t have to though, I understand if you have other plans.” She showed the man a weak smile, hating to be a burden to someone.

Emily soon returned, putting on her brightest smile to show her mother that she had brushed her teeth. “Good job, Em. Now put your pajamas on and you’re ready to go to bed.” Stephanie smiled, putting her own hair in a ponytail. She wasn’t sure what it was, but with Casper in the same room she felt calm while Emily was getting ready for bed. Most of the time Stephanie was stressing, afraid that Emily wouldn’t get enough sleep and would keep her up for the rest of the night. Which never happened, yet Stephanie worried. But now she didn’t, she felt relaxed. Though part of her was now worrying if Casper thought she was a good mother. She was trying to be, but giving chocolate right before bed hadn’t been the smartest idea. She just didn’t want Casper to think that she was ungrateful for his gift. It was really sweet of him to think of Emily while he was out.

Casper shook his head. “No, really! Don’t worry about it. I don’t have any plans or anything like that. Just a date with hotel cable and these chips,” he joked. In other circumstances, he would have felt awkward about making that joke, would have worried that she thought he was pathetic or lame. But that concern didn’t really hold much weight with Stephanie. She just seemed really nonjudgemental most of the time. She was even nice to Natasha, even though by this point most of the crew had taken to avoiding her or snapping right back at her when she got into her moods. Maybe it was because she was too nervous about Emily to worry too much about what other people were doing, or maybe she was just nice like that. Either way, Casper appreciated it.

Of course, while they waited for Emily to finish getting ready, he didn’t really have much to do except awkwardly stand there. And stare while Stephanie put her hair into a ponytail, revealing her neck and a little bit of collarbone peeking out from her shirt. He flushed, looking away. It wasn’t like he had never seen her in a ponytail before! After all, she needed her hair out of her face when she was working. He was just being dumb -- his brain was trying to focus on something to throw him off-balance, just like it always did. Well, it was sort of working. “So -- um ... Is there a city you and Em are excited to go to?” He mostly just wanted to make conversation while he waited for Emily to get dressed.

[letmegotxo]

gift.

[letmegotxo]

stephanie-ramsey:

After Emily had politely thanked Casper and showed him a wide smile, Stephanie got a teddy graham out of the package and handed it over to the girl. “Just one for tonight. It’s almost bed time.” The little girl settled back at the desk with her drawings and happily hummed as she enjoyed her chocolate. “Do you want anything from the mini-bar? We haven’t gotten anything yet, but it’s paid for. It would be a shame if it would go to waste.” Stephanie hid the package in the drawer of the nightstand before Emily turned around and then just smiled at her like nothing was going on. However, the little girl stood up from her chair and flung her arms around her mother’s thighs, hugging her tightly.

“Aw, what’s up?” The brunette smiled down at her daughter, stroking her hair. The girl mumbled something inaudible, causing Stephanie to crouch down. “What is it, honey?” When Emily shyly whispered to her mom, Stephanie’s grin only grew. “You don’t have to be so shy, Em.” Stephanie looked up to Casper from her spot, Emily standing in between her knees. “She wants you to get her ready for bed. If you don’t want to then that’s fine, I think she might have a tiny little crush on you.” She laughed quietly as Emily hid her face against her chest, slowly rubbing her back. “I don’t blame you though, Em. Casper is very sweet, but I do think you should ask him yourself. It will give him a better impression of you.” Stephanie whispered her words, not realizing that Casper could hear her.

“Oh? No, thank you. I got my own.” He gestured at his bags. “Thank you, though,” he added reflexively, before realizing he had already thanked her. He laughed a bit awkwardly, shaking his head, but decided to let it go before he just made it more awkward by spiraling into a weird word vomit. He was pretty good at doing that, but it seemed to be easy to stop himself around Stephanie. She had a comforting air about her. Maybe it was because she was used to being around Emily, who seemed like a pretty mild-mannered kid but as still just a kid, so he was sure she dealt with her fair share of tantrums.

He smiled a little as he watched the two interact, letting out a bit of an embarrassed laugh as the older woman declared that Emily had a crush on him. The laugh quickly became a blush when he heard what Stephanie whispered. What did that mean? He decided to focus on Emily. Kid’s emotions were simple, they made sense. Kids didn’t say one thing and mean something totally different. “Uh, of course, I’d be happy to help.” He got down on one knee, giving his best big-cousin grin he saved for all his younger cousins back in the day. “What do you need me to do?”

[letmegotxo]

gift.

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stephanie-ramsey:

The woman suddenly became very conscious. What if Casper thought she was a bad parent for leaving Emily alone in their hotel room? She had read stories about missing kids after their parents had left them alone in their room. “No, not at all! No trouble at all. I just hope you don’t think I’m a bad parent now with leaving Emily alone in here…I swear I was out for just a few minutes.” Stephanie didn’t even know why she was trying to make sure that Casper didn’t think she wasn’t a good parent. Normally, she didn’t really care what others thought about her, but this time was different. She had put Emily at a risk and she shouldn’t have done that. “I’m glad you’re here though.” She flashed him a soft smile before realising what she had said. “And not…you know…some creep.” Casper was so calm and friendly, yet Stephanie managed to make things awkward. She hadn’t meant to, the words just escaped her lips before she could think about it.

“Sounds nice! If you ever need company…you know where our room is..” Casper was a decent guy. He got along with Emily and that was all that really mattered to Stephanie. If her friends couldn’t handle Emily or didn’t like kids in general there was no point in a friendship. Emily was a part of her and she would always be a part of her. Besides that, Emily was with her at least 80% of the time. Stephanie wanted to be there for her daughter even when touring the country, the father had gotten out of the picture a long time ago. “Oh my….those are her favourite…and mine too, but don’t let her know.” She whispered the last part, taking the package from the man. “You really didn’t have to, Casper. But thank you.” The brunette smiled softly at him, her eyes locked with his a little longer than usual. Their little moment was broken when the little girl noticed what was in her mother’s hand and immediately reached for the box.“Say thank you to Casper first, honey.”

Casper immediately shook his head. “Of course not! You’re not a bad parent, it’s pretty much impossible to be in the same room as your kids all the time.” Eventually, you’d have to leave, if only to go to the bathroom. Of course, that was often the time when stuff went wrong, but that was just how life worked. He remembered once when he was at his aunt’s house, his younger cousin had managed to wiggle her way out of her high chair and fall on the floor. And this was while his aunt had been in the room -- her back had just been turned for a second. Sometimes things like that couldn’t be avoided, but they were lucky that his cousin wound up being just fine at the end of it. He laughed a bit when she said she was happy he wasn’t a creep. “Well, I’m happy, too! That, um, you don’t think I’m a creep.”

He smiled a bit as Stephanie accepted the box easily, and did a bit of mental scolding for getting himself so worked up about giving it to her in the first place. When she admitted they were her favorite too, the smile turned into a full-fledged grin. “Your secret’s safe with me, Stephanie.” Was that too friendly? He liked to think of Stephanie as a friend, but who knew if she felt the same way. Maybe she just saw him as a co-worker. But she didn’t act that way. She did just invite him over, but that might have been more out of politeness sake. He smiled at Emily as her mother told her to thank him.

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gift.

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stephanie-ramsey:

The bus ride had gone surprisingly well. Emily was asleep for most of the time, giving Stephanie the chance to chat with some of the ballet girls who were seated near her. She knew it was a risk that she was taking, Emily would most likely not fall asleep soon after they would arrive at the hotel, but Stephanie also knew that waking up Emily wasn’t such a great idea either. Luckily, Emily had remained calm when they arrived at the hotel, diving straight into her sketchbook. Her plan was to make drawings for every single person in the cast and crew by the time the tour would end and she had gotten quite far already. Mother and daughter had settled into their hotel room, Emily busy with drawing in her sketchbook and Stephanie going over her notes about the costumes. She left for five minutes to discuss something with her co-worker in the costume department and told Emily not to open the door for anyone.

However, when Stephanie returned she was met with the sight of Casper sitting next to Emily and them both looking through her drawings. “Honey, what did I tell you about opening the door?” The woman sighed softly. Emily told her that she had checked to see who it was before opening the door and Stephanie gave her a kiss on top of her head. “That’s good, Em. But please wait until I’m back next time, alright?” The little girl nodded at her mom and then went back to her drawings. “Hey Casper, it’s nothing personal. Just trying to keep her safe, you know?” She rubbed her own arm awkwardly as she looked at the man. “She’s making a drawing for everyone, maybe you’ve seen yours already.” Stephanie smiled softly as she crouched down on the other side of Emily. “Who are you sharing your room with this time? Matthew?” She didn’t mean to come over as curious, but she was. Maybe he had come here to get away from the person he was sharing his room with and she couldn’t blame him for it.

Casper nodded as she said it wasn’t personal. “Of course! I’m, uh, sorry if I caused any trouble.” He definitely hadn’t meant to -- this was supposed to just be a quick thing, in and out, but it had wound up being more than expected. It wasn’t that he minded, since Emily was a pretty decent kid. But it still made him feel a little awkward. He didn’t want to be an accomplice in any youthful rulebreaking that Emily was trying to accomplish. Decent or not, kids could be funny that way. They came up with the weirdest ways to justify things, and he didn’t want to cause any unneeded grief for poor Stephanie. She had enough on her plate as it was.

At Stephanie’s question, he smiled. “It’s my turn with the solo room, actually!” With an odd number of cast members, it was just how things happened. Some people, couples or good friends (Or in Stephanie’s case, Emily), elected to always have a room partner. The rest of them just rotated who was getting a room to themselves. Casper did wind up paired up with Matthew a lot, though. “Um, are you guys settling in here okay?” He straightened, leaving Emily to her drawings. “I just stopped by to check in, and, um ...” He rubbed the back of his neck. Feeling more than a little silly, he pulled the teddy grahams out of his bags. “I stopped by the store and saw these. I thought you might want them, you know, for your room. Sorry if that’s a little weird.” He offered the box out to Stephanie, figuring she’d want to keep an eye on her daughter’s snacks. He wasn’t sure how strict she was on those, but he figured it was mostly her business.

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gift.

They were finally stopped for the night. They had travelled all day, and Casper felt pretty grateful that they weren’t performing until tomorrow. He thought that, if they tried, half of the cast would just wind up falling asleep before the end of Act 1. He didn’t know what it was about sitting in a bus that made you so tired all day, but it did. He decided that he was just going to grab a few things from the store around the corner and spend a quiet night in his hotel room -- he had one to himself, this time, they all took turns sharing. But those plans changed when he saw some chocolate teddy grahams sitting on the shelf. He remembered Emily saying that those were her favorite, so he thought he’d pick some up and offer them to Stephanie to give her.

Except when he knocked on the hotel room door, Stephanie wasn’t there. Emily was, though, and she assured him that Stephanie would be right back. He was about to tell her that he’d be back later, but then she had wanted to show him the drawing she had been doing, and he couldn’t exactly say no. He set the bags off to the side, not wanting to give Emily a treat without her mother’s permission, and sat at the little desk Emily had been drawing at. He was halfway through the grand tour of the little girl’s crayon-filled sketchbook, telling her that her drawings were very nice, when Stephanie walked in. He smiled a little sheepishly. “Hi, Stephanie! Um, sorry for intruding,” he said a bit awkwardly. “Emily said you’d be right back, so ...” He shrugged awkwardly. “I hope you don’t mind. She was showing me her drawings. They’re very cool.” He said that last bit for Emily’s benefit.

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stephanie-ramsey:

“Are you sure? I don’t want her to be a burden..” It had become a habit for Stephanie, apologizing for her daughter. Kids could be overwhelming and extremely clingy and Stephanie didn’t want Emily to come over that way. Had Emily been awake, there would have been a different problem. She would have probably whined about how long it was taking and begging Stephanie to go to their hotel room. Children always managed to make a big deal about a situation as normal as Stephanie speaking to Casper. “You’re welcome. I figured you all deserved something for surviving opening night. It’s just a rose, but you know….that’s what the Phantom gave to Christine on her opening night as well. Though, I promise I will not try and abduct you into some secret passage underneath the theatre.” She was rambling and she knew it, she opened her mouth to apologise but swallowed her words. The word sorry had been said too many times in these few minutes.

“I see, you seem great with kids. The way you hold her and rock her, it’s perfect.” She smiled softly. “I mean, perfect in the way of how you hold your hands…and stuff…” Something was happening to her and Stephanie wasn’t sure what. She had never felt so nervous around anyone before. She couldn’t even manage to say what she wanted to say. “It’s not that she was freaked out, I think nervous is a better word. As if she was afraid she would drop Emily, even though that’s not really possible if you hold her tightly.” The brunette chuckled softly, playing with the rose in her hand. “Of course, yes.” Her arms brushed against his as she carefully took Emily back into her arms, handing the single rose back to Casper. She brushed some of Emily’s hair from her face and held her tightly. “I’m really holding you up, right? You should probably go to the party.” Stephanie couldn’t help but feel that she was keeping him away from the rest of the cast and preventing him from having a good time.

Casper shook his head, gently brushing some of Emily’s hair from her face. “Kids aren’t burdens,” he said automatically, before realizing that came off a little harsh. “I mean -- I understand why you’re worried. People can get weird around kids. But, um, you shouldn’t have to apologize for having one, you know? Anyone who makes you feel like that, is, ummmm ...” He frowned, thinking of all the time he spent with family, being told that he couldn’t hang out backstage with his parents because he’d just get in the way. He was always in the way, it felt like. “Is not very nice,” he finished, a bit lamely. “You know ... I think it’s good that you keep her around. That you try to spend time with her. A lot of parents in this industry ... don’t.” He knew that much firsthand. He rocked back and forth gently.

When his arms were free, he stretched a bit. His chest felt cold now, without Emily leaning against it. He held the rose tightly. As the other said that he should get going, he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Yeah, um ... I should ...” But he didn’t really want to. He bit back a yawn, though, knowing that he’d only lay awake feeling guilty if he decided to go home. “But, uh, thanks for the rose, Stephanie,” he said. “I’m, um ... I’m glad I got to see you. Tonight. You know.” He made an awkward gesture with his hand. “Um ... I’ll ... I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

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stephanie-ramsey:

Stephanie blushed as Casper made clear he would rather spend time with her than at the party, but as he explained himself something dropped inside of her. He didn’t want to spend time with her for her, but because it was quieter. He wasn’t staying for her. She just smiled it off. “Yes! I understand!” She nodded and lifted Emily higher, carefully handing her over to Casper. “She doesn’t drool much though, she might mumble in her sleep but I think everyone has experienced that before.” As Stephanie picked up her bag and searched for the rose that was for Casper, Emily wrapped her tiny arms tightly around the man’s neck. “Found it!” The woman got the rose out, attached was a small card with Casper’s name on it and a message that said he had done greatly and that Stephanie was proud of him. “Oh, you can…push her arms away if you don’t want her that close. She won’t notice. I’m sorry, she’s just a bit….cuddly..” she was quick to apologize, knowing that Emily could sometimes be all over the place.

“Anyway! This is for you…” the brunette tucked a strand of hair behind her hair before offering the rose to Casper, completely forgetting to take Emily back from him. It was a cute sight, Casper holding the little girl in his arms. A loving smile played on her lips as she watched the actor interact with her daughter. There was something natural about the way he held her, like he had done it before. “Do you have kids of your own? You don’t seem too freaked out by her, unlike Astrid.” Astrid had seemed a bit nervous around Emily, but Casper didn’t come off that way. He seemed content. “Right, I should probably take her back. Sorry…” Stephanie showed him an apologetic smile before reaching her arms out to take her daughter back in her arms.

He shifted his weight a bit as Emily was passed to him, not minding when she put her arms around his neck. It was true that he wasn’t always fond of contact, but it was easier with kids -- kids were too young to have ulterior motives and things like that to figure out. Besides, she wasn’t doing it on purpose -- she was just clinging to him while half asleep. He wasn’t about to fault her for that, so it was weird for him to think that Stephanie even needed to apologize for it. But then again, he apologized for weird things all the time, so he got where she was coming from. “You don’t need to apologize,” he said to her, sounding a bit more sure than he usually did. “It’s fine.”

He waited for her, rocking Emily back and forth lightly, the way you did. It was amazing how naturally it came back to him, even though his cousins were all grown by now. He blinked as Stephanie came back, smiling at the gift. “Thank you, Stephanie,” he said. “That’s very nice of you ...” At her question, he shook his head. “No. But I had younger cousins that I took care of a lot,” he explained. At her addition, he laughed, automatically quieter as he knew how to keep his voice from waking people up. “I didn’t think Astrid was freaked out by anything. She always seems so ...” Fearless. The opposite of him. It was really no wonder Brooklyn liked hanging out with her better ... He was shaken out of his thoughts by Stephanie. “Oh, right. Um ... trade, then?” He said, half-joking as traded the sleeping Emily for the rose.

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stephanie-ramsey:

“I do! Not on my own, that’s impossible. But you know…I try…” Stephanie said softly. She just smiled at him when he mentioned being nervous all the time, he was laughing but as she looked into his eyes she could see it wasn’t genuine. It had always been easy for Stephanie to read people, but there was something about Casper that made her feel too nervous to do so. “No! No! It’s just some advice for next time. Please don’t worry about it. I’m sure everyone will think you look handsome just like this.” A light blush crept back on her cheeks, this time realizing what she had said. She couldn’t deny it though. Casper was handsome just as he was, he didn’t need to dress up. Her brown eyes had stared at him for a while until she realized she had been silent for some time.

“Oh! I just remember I had something for you. Actually everyone of the cast, but they were all gone so quickly.” She chuckled quietly before looking up at Casper. “But since you’re here I guess I could give it to you now. Do you mind holding Emily for a minute?” The little girl was still fast asleep. “I promise she won’t drool on you.” Stephanie smiled softly at the actor. She had bought a red rose for everyone of the cast to congratulate them on their opening night. Unfortunately, before she had the chance to hand them out most of the cast had already left to the party. So, she had decided she would just be early tomorrow so she could leave them in the dressing rooms. But since Casper was here, she figured she could just give it to him right now. “Or if you want me to give it to you tomorrow then that’s fine too, I understand if you would rather go to the party than talking to me.” Her insecurity took the better of her at this point, afraid she was bothering him.

“Well ... You do a good job!” He hoped that didn’t sound too lame. When she reassured him that it was fine, he nodded, although he worriedly fidgeted with his collar a bit. “Oh. Well, okay. Thanks for letting me know!” He always erred on the side of caution, so he guessed it made sense that he’d overdress. He’d just hang out at the edges of the party for a bit. Maybe he’d even tell Brooklyn that he wasn’t feeling well so that he didn’t have to dance with her ... It wasn’t that he didn’t want to dance with her, specifically. He was just tired of dancing in general. Or maybe he was overstimulated after everything that happened. Casper needed recharge time, but knowing these parties, he figured he’d be out until the small hours of the morning.

He was surprised when she said she had something for him. He listened to her, curious, but didn’t interrupt until she said that he’d rather be going to the party. “Oh, no, I’d much rather be talking to you,” he said automatically, before realizing how that sounded. “I mean! Parties are, um ... really loud. A lot of the time, you know. After the show, it’s just ... Um ... And here, with you, it’s much quieter. It’s nice. Um ... You know. I can take Emily, yeah.” Feeling more than a little embarrassed, he held out his arms for the girl, trying to change the subject. “I’m not scared of a little drool,” he said, trying to make a joke to take the edge off of how awkward he was. He really didn’t mind kids, though. His parents toured a lot when he was younger, and he usually stayed with his aunt, who had three kids younger than him. When he got older, he often played babysitter.

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stephanie-ramsey:

“Thank you.” Stephanie smiled shyly at his compliment. “I didn’t really…make them though.” Her cheeks heated up as she saw that he was blushing. “Is the costume alright?” After she said it out loud she realized how weird it sounded. “Like, does it fit? Cause if it doesn’t just let me know. Please?” Right now Stephanie just wanted to be swallowed up into the ground before she made an even bigger fool of herself. “Not that I hope it doesn’t fit! I mean, you should feel comfortable when wearing….your outfit. Sorry. I’m rambling and I shouldn’t because I know it makes your nervous. And I just only made it worse.” Her eyes darted away from Casper, desperate to try and focus on something else. She didn’t even know what was happening. Seeing Casper be proud of himself made her feel happy. A different kind of happy than seeing Astrid or anyone else of the cast be proud of themselves. Stephanie told herself that it was because Casper was more nervous than anyone else.

“Heading to the party?” Of course he was heading to the party. He was all dressed up for a party, yet she asked him this question. The brunette tapped her fingers onto Emily’s leg as a nervous habit, the little girl stirring against her. Stephanie’s dark eyes darted back to Casper, only now noticing how handsome he looked when he was so proud of himself. “Your tie…” she placed her bag onto the floor, her free hand reaching for his tie. She made sure it was straight before pulling her hand back. “There you go. You know, maybe next time don’t wear a tie to an afterparty. This party is not that formal, just wear a nice button up shirt and you’ll look just as handsome as you do now.” Stephanie didn’t notice the slip up and showed him a smile instead. “Not that you have to listen to me. Just some advice.” She quickly added in case he would get offended by her.

“Oh! Yeah, of course, but ... you keep them looking sharp, right?” As she rambled, he nodded along, but felt his face flush when she voiced her concern about making him nervous. Did everyone in the cast and crew know that he was a wreck? That was pretty embarrassing. He tried playing it off as a joke, mostly because he didn’t want Stephanie to feel bad about it. “Oh, don’t worry about it! I mean, I’m always nervous anyways, so ... you know, you can’t really make it worse.” He laughed, even though it didn’t really sound like a joke. Geez, he wasn’t very good at this. Whatever this was. Normal, human social interaction? Yeah, Casper wasn’t great at that.

He was glad when the subject moved to the party. “Yeah! That was the plan. Um ...?” He looked down, watching as she reached for him. Luckily, with a kid in her arms, she wasn’t moving fast enough to startle him. Besides, clothes were sort of her thing, so it made sense that her first instinct would be to help him out. “Oh! Thank ... you.” He nodded as she gave some advice, although a small crease appeared between his eyebrows. “Oh. Should I ... take the tie off? Will I look out of place?” He didn’t usually go to these things, honestly. But Brooklyn had seemed so excited about it, and he wanted to try going for her. Not that he had promised to see her there or anything, but he thought she’d like to see him. He hoped so, anyways. Then again, maybe she was sick of dancing with him by now ...

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stephanie-ramsey:

Experiencing opening night from behind the scenes was so much different from being on the stage. It was definitely less nerve-wracking, but it also felt like it was just another show. Oh, how she wished she was on that stage with the rest of the cast. Even being an ensemble member would have made her incredibly happy. But she wouldn’t dare to say it out loud, she already felt lucky for having this job. Whilst helping Brooklyn with a quick costume change, she sensed the nerves coming from her, yet she remained calm and just smiled it off. Casper, on the other hand, was different. He hadn’t tried to hide the fact that he was nervous, but as Stephanie listened to him sing she couldn’t hear any. She admired it.

With Emily fast asleep on her arm, Stephanie locked the costume department, putting the key away in her purse. She would have loved to attend the afterparty, but right now her daughter came in first place. She was asleep and Stephanie didn’t want to wake her up because she knew that Emily would whine. Honestly, Stephanie herself couldn’t wait until the moment she could finally crawl in bed. It had been a long and stressful day, having to make changes to Natasha’s dress last minute. It was Stephanie’s own fault though, she should have let Natasha fit it earlier on. The woman was deep in thought about all the things she would have to do tomorrow when she suddenly bumped into someone. “God! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t-” When she looked up her eyes met Casper’s and for a short moment a warm and fuzzy feeling washed over her. “Sorry. I hope I didn’t ruin your suit..” the brunette smiled apologetically at the actor, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “You were great, by the way. On the stage. You know….acting and singing.” God, what was happening to her? Normally she didn’t have any trouble talking with someone, but right now not one sentence would come out of her mouth correctly.

Casper made it. Honestly, he was still reeling from the relief. Part of him was sure that he had messed something up without realizing it, but the voice was easier to ignore in the wake of the applause. He felt like he had finally come up for air after swimming underwater until his chest burned. It was an amazing feeling, but the nerves from before had left him feeling pretty exhausted. Part of him wanted to just go back to the hotel room and sleep it off, but he knew that the others would be waiting for him at the afterparty. Plus, Brooklyn and Matthew might worry if he wasn’t there, and he wouldn’t want that. So instead he got dressed, taking just a bit of time to bask in the quiet relaxed feeling before he had to be around people again.

He was so lost in it, he didn’t see Stephanie coming until he bumped right into her. “Oh! No, no, it’s fine, it’s --” Their eyes met. He found his face heating up, and he ran a hand over his mouth to cover it. Blushing was not exactly unusual for him, anyways. Especially when he wasn’t expecting something. “Don’t worry about it,” he said quietly, not wanting to wake up Emily. As the woman complimented him, though the blush couldn’t be contained by just a hand. “Oh. Yeah? I mean, thanks.” He shuffled his feet awkwardly. “Um. The costumes! They were good too.” He didn’t even notice that the other woman was nervous. He was far too busy containing nerves of his own.