Hotel Review (Or: My Experience With the Japanese Shining)
If you follow me on my other socials, you may recall I stayed at a ryokan last week in Gero Onsen that bore far too many similarities to Stanley Kubrick’s “The Shining”. I thought I’d write out a play-by-play for posterity. Let’s jump into it.
Similarity number one: Getting to this hotel required a long, winding ride through the mountains past many scenic gorges. Luckily, this was done by train. Please see the sample scenery image below:
Without a doubt, this was stunning. The entrance to the hotel was quite scenic, too:
But, let me tell you. Just like the Overlook Hotel, this thing absolutely SPRAWLED up and down the mountainside. Originally built in the 1930′s, this complex has a main building (which was already ungainly to begin with). But THEN, there are two additions--some sort of weird euro-style pavilion, and an annex built in the 1980′s that has not been updated since. A map (SANS-ANNEX! Look how crazy this is even without the annex!) is below:
You can also see the architecture mismatch here--original building on the right, european...thing... on the left. Footbath in the center, that was pretty neat.
So we check in. Immediately, my boyfriend, who has never been to Japan, is thrown when the front desk staff abscond with our shoes and provide slippers to wear throughout the facility, which has plush red carpet in many of the common areas, including this c.1988 coffee room just past the lobby:
Please also note that this room is in A TRADITIONAL JAPANESE building, literally the same building as is visible in this photo.
So, the staff show us to our room. It’s in the annex, which requires us to go down one sprawling hallway, take an elevator to the fourth floor, walk down ANOTHER sprawling hallway, take A DIFFERENT ELEVATOR to the ninth floor, and find our room from there. The room itself hasn’t been updated since the annex was built. It includes strange brown carpeting and furniture in the engawa, plus an open-air bath that feels very...80′s. Despite this, the view was breathtaking.
Here’s where it starts to get a little...Shining-like. The staff give us a very complicated map showing us the location of the public baths, the restaurant, the bar(?) (I had no idea the property contained dining and drinking establishments), the breakfast pavilion, the footbath, etc. Things are only open at very specific hours. At eight o’clock, I suggest to my boyfriend we go to the bar, as it’s finally open.
On the way there, we don’t pass a single soul. In fact, we’ve seen very few people since we arrived. And when we get to the bar, located in the euro-style addition to the complex, we find nobody but the bartender. The bar itself is a very grand, elaborate room. Smooth jazz plays in the background. And it reminds us of something...
This shot does not include the stage with the grand piano and the karaoke stand, behind a barrier of plexiglass due to covid.
The bartender (dressed formally) is a kind Japanese lady who speaks no English. However, she provides us with an English menu, which had some truly unique selections. Please see:
Call me crazy, but I almost wanted to see the private karaoke room. The bartender made sure to remind me we could sing one song for just 300 yen.
So, we have a drink. The bar remains empty. The music continues to play. It’s Friday night. At some point, the bartender DOES manage to loop an unsuspecting Chinese couple inside. They’re some of the few people we’ve seen here. They don’t stay long.
After that, we start getting the sense that this place really...Shines. If you know what I mean. And, once we leave the bar, we can’t help but notice the similarities. I mean, just LOOK at the decor of this place. There are even creepy black and white photos of Emperor Hirohito’s visit here in the lobby:
And then, the crown jewel: We get back to the fourth floor elevator bank.
Anyway, this was an unforgettable experience. Can’t say we’ll stay again, but if you’d like to see it for yourself, the property is called Yunoshimakan, located in Gero Onsen, Japan.
Bonus pic: this absolutely unhinged sign on the door to the 9th floor patio:
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