brainwashed!Bellamy au (pt. 2 I guess) ((a really big and mostly bellarke part, I'm warning))
despite the fact that he chose a new name, he never called himself that way. not any another. he just didn't.
Disciples decided that he had no need in trainings. he was capable of killing even when he was trying to be the good guy, and they knew it.
they also had an impressive armory and really would like to see how to use these but he didn't chose any of it. instead, he chose a gun.
simple, cold, symbolic. the weapon she always carried, which used to kill.
(after I taught her how to shoot)
his hand started shaking so he clenched it. after she dies it all will be over, they said. he barely believe in this.
she was here four days later after he was caught and in some weird way it made him angry and grateful, hopeful at the same time. it was so much easier when she was somewhere else, when she's not making him feel something. he was in the next hall of where she's right now. they told him she sneak out of the group and getting closer.
it should've made it easier actually. should have.
he looked down at the gun in his head and memories started coming back. Clarke, pointing an another gun at his face, leaving his sister to die. knowing that it would kill him too.
Clarke, leaving him in the fighting pits, selfishly running away with her daughter and then - begging for forgivness.
and the worst part of it - she broke his heart so many times just because she existed, because she was dying for him and her people so many times.
but now... he is free of her.
she is getting closer. he hold his breath. and he stepped in the spot of light.
first of all, she froze, her eyes filled.
"Bellamy", so soft and quietly, she started to run towards him and then... stopped, "Are you alright? What happened?"
mayby it was his look, or his face, or his pose. he seemed different. and then she saw a gun in his hand.
"Bellamy... what's going on?"
he couldn't hear his name, not from her. but surprisingly, voices haven't come. instead, there was only one voice, right in front of him, and that one was the worst.
and he realised that he wanted her to come closer. to see how the light in her eyes melts, to hear her last sight, to feel her blood on his hands.
he took a couple of steps towards her. despite every her instinct, that right now literally screaming to run from this man, someone she doesn't know anymore, Clarke didn't move.
he took another couple of steps.
instead of questions like "what the hell are you doing?" "where did you get the gun?" "you knew I would come for you alone?", she said quietly:
"What did they do to you?"
"You're asking wrong questions. They didn't hurt me" it's almost three steps between them now "But you... This time you die."
now, she was just terrified.
"Stop!", it was so loud so Clarke flinched.
and then, she tried to run. some part of her expected him to grab her by the shoulder, she threw off his hand and averted the blow from her face. he didn't use the gun, which she eventually knocked out of his hand, didn't even try to reach him.
he needed her to fall, to bleed, to kneel in a fair fight, and not at gunpoint. Clarke knew it and it made her feel sick. and yet, she fought back without striking a single blow. she couldn't.
but in the end, she made a mistake - and at that very instant she was on the cold floor, with her hands droning with pain. he was in no hurry to pick up the gun, she was in no hurry to get up. and then, on a cold floor in a strange, unknown place, exhausted by a battle with the whole world and with a gun opposite her who is holding the only one last person in the world except her daughter with whom she felt home... she gave up.
"I almost executed Russell", Clarke said so suddenly for him that he needed a moment to remember who the hell is Russell, "After you and the others were gone for that Anomaly stuff I've tried to do better, like you and I did. I protected Russell in some way, he deserved justice, not vengeance. And it's reasonable, that's what cold head would think. I've tried for mom, and Madi, and everyone I should take care of, and for you, but..."
Clarke started shaking and wrapped her arms around herself like if it was some kind of hug or she was cold. in some way it was both. he understood that he's just wasting time but he needed to hear this.
"But I couldn't, I just... I'm not great at leading without my heart I guess" she smiled slightly, "I almost burned the freaking castle."
"If this what you want," she nodded at the gun in his hand, Clarke almost whispered like she was telling him a secret, "then do it. Because I'm not sure at all if I will be able to move on without you. So it seems like I will bring you back or I will die trying to, right now. After all, I owe you that"
his hand started shaking.
"Do it" she grabbed the gun in his hand and forcefully pointed it at her head saying "If you want to stop me from saving you, you have to make a kill shot"
she brought Madi back that way and she can do it now with him. but then she was scared, frustrated. now this woman is obsessed and stubborn like hell.
"Clarke. " he said her name and she felt like something inside, something light started spreading, it was like she made a first breath on the ground with the hundred. hope.
but not a single muscle in his face flinched when he removed the gun from the fuse. everything inside her fell apart. Clarke expected that now - right now she would take her last breath.
he didn't let her go over the grounders' trap when they just landed, but he will pull the trigger now. and she will let him.
Clarke took a deep breath.
they both heard voices approaching, but none of them paid attention to it.
every voice in Bellamy's head was screaming. they were screaming the name of the girl who is so stubborn so she will let get herself killed to bring him back.
he removed his finger to the trigger. Clarke closed her eyes. despite her exhausted look, she was beautiful.
people started running into the whole, he saw shocked, terrified eyes of his friends.
Clarke's arm was bleeding.
Bellamy screamed and fell on the floor.
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