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KIROKAZE
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bliss lane
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Doug Jones
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@letscheckoutfantrolls-blog
Do aquatic sea-dwelling trolls have to be of high blood color? Like could I be able to be a rust blood colored sea dweller, or something like that?
I think it would be possible, just very, very rare. It would probably be considered a mutation of a sort, so just make sure you don't have a colony of low-blooded seadwellers!
...that sounds like a really odd reality tv show.
~PoB
If my character's godtier title is the Knight of Something, do I have to have an outfit exactly like Dave's? Or can I change it?
I think your character (or another) could make alterations to it, perhaps, but it'd basically be the same in the beginning, yes.
~PoB
Do you guys give reviews/feedback privately? I'd like to hear your thoughts, but I'm not interested in having anything up in public that I can't immediately revise or take down.
Sure! I'd be glad to do that. If you'd like to remain anonymous completely (or somewhat completely) you could send another ask with your email, or else we could talk back and forth via ask if you have your own tumblr :)
~PoB
So I thought I should make a quick post about this!
We're really sorry for the lack of updates. We've both been really stressed out these past couple months, and haven't had a chance/motivation to really do anything. I'm going to try to do some posts on the weekend, since I have no more school projects to work on! I'll also definitely do some posts during April break.
Until then, submissions are closed. Feel free to still send asks, though! I'll be trying to answer those as best I can.
I just created a fan troll very recently, and became really happy with it. But I forgot to do a little research and found that someone else already made a troll of the same constellation. ;_; They almost have the same name, even. They almost have the same... living conditions(?) but very different personalities. Should I scrap it? ;_;
No need to scrap it! If it bugs you, tweak them a little. Maybe change the name? Like, say it's Maria (which would not be a good fantroll name but work with me) and theirs is Mari, you could make yours Marea! Or you could change the symbol to something relating to the constellation. For example, if you wanted to make a character related to archery, but obviously couldn't do Sagittarius because of Equius, you could just make the symbol some sort of target.
Don't worry too much about being similar to someone else's fantroll! It's good to have a unique character, but it's also important to have a character that you're fond of, or feel proud of. Keep trollin' on!
~PoB
Hur hur look who's making another fantroll. :P Anywho, would it be alright that as sort of a "physical mutation", a green-blooded troll has the strength of a high-blood? It's nowhere near Equius-level, just very strong. Trying to make a fantroll that is very passionate in both the enthusiastic sense and the amorous sense as part of her theme and I'm debating whether to make her a blue-blood or not. I already have a high-blood (indigo to be exact) and wanted to add a lower-blood.
Hmmmm, well think about Nepeta! She's a green blood and she can still tackle Equius, and she hunts too. I think it would be fine to have a STRONG green blood! So long as they have some sort of weakness to go along with it (emotionally, perhaps) it'll be fine. ~PoB
ARSATA VAALIC
http://animelover0613.deviantart.com/art/V-264133933
OK BASICALLY THIS IS REALLY KAWAII?
I MEAN
just wow give me a second to collect these feelings
you really captured the simplicity of the lusus? I mean, lusii I are supposed to be pretty simplified almost... caricature like? except not ridiculous. just... simple. lots of white space and barely any detail. it's so nice...
and aaaaAaaa her posture and the way she's sort of copying her lusus' movements
so good
AHEM on to the actual review
NAME: Arsata Vaalic SWEEPS: 8 Solar Sweeps (17.28) TROLLTAG: agresticPachyderm BLOOD COLOR: Yellow She honestly respects the Hemospectrum; she doesn't converse much with highbloods. Not that she really converses with anyone that is. Wouldn't even dare try and playing a mind game let alone steal from someone higher up than her, only lower bloods.
All fine! I especially like the trolltag. And I like the bit about her not wanting to mess with highbloods, too! TYPING QUIRK: \pack my box with..... fiVe dozen liquor jugs/ Usually doesn't punctuate things correctly, uses '.....' to keep people waiting, especially when they’re in a big hurry to say something. Notice that there is specifically 5 periods. Encloses everything in dashes and capitalizes all of her Vs.
ahhh this is good! nice and unique, and easy to read.
wondering if there's any significance to the little bits, though...
REFERENCE IMAGE/DISCRIPTION: ~see above~ Actually quite short at a whopping 5ft"3in. Doesn't like her rather flat and pudgy looking nose.
waaaa <33333 really good
I love the way you phrased it with "a whopping 5ft 3in" hehehe
also her nose is perfect donut worry arsata we can be weird nosed buddies (even though people say I have a cute nose or something? w/e her nose is cute too) PERSONALITY: A bit of a loner and prefers to do things on her own, but when she actually does try to get and know people she’s socially awkward and inexperienced in starting a conversation. That is though when she really does want to be left alone she is rather grumpy and snappy. Rather paranoid and talks to self when she’s alone, and a total spaz. Hates to be cold and loves when it's warm out.
aaaaaaa good!!!
I've said in a lot of reviews that personalities like this, with a variations, of course, are really good for character development. things like the characters accepting that they are indeed loners and are okay with just having a few close friends, or over coming their shyness to meet new people... there's so much you can do with this over the course of a story!
her being grumpy and snappy when she wants to be alone would also be a point of development for other people to understand that she needs alone time, hence making it more likely for them to be close friends?
just my thoughts on stuff like this! While she attempts to make a living of stealing she tends to be too heavy on her feet and mess up most, if not all, of the time. Though she messes up, she is very cautions as to who she is stealing from and if she as a chance of succeeding at all. Has her own preference as to not steal from highbloods, which in her luck would probably result in her being culled.
ahhh I think you could elaborate on her needing to steal! does she steal because she enjoys it, does she steal because, being a lowblood, can't afford FANCY ALTERNIAN VEGETARIAN FOOD (like, say, Equius) because her lusus is an elephant? does she do it to get back at people, but also to fend for herself and her lusus? there's a lot you could do with this
maybe she is like robin hood...
*____*
but the bit about highbloods is good! again, I'm glad you remember to put little stuff like that in. it can make a huuuuge difference in how your character is portrayed.
While she may not be physically endowed she does have a nak for mind games and riddles, that and just fucking with people’s minds. She is usually accused of having suspicious intentions when doing things; that is if you consider having a shit eating grin on your face at all times as suspicious.
HAHHA
yES I KIND OF WOULD CONSIDER THAT SUSPICIOUS
I mean
a troll who won't tell you the rules and who smiles all the time.
seriously
that's pretty suspicious to me
also yes! I imagine, going with her loner personality, she prefers to avoid situations where she doesn't really have control? like, if she can manipulate someone, not necessarily then and there, but she can do it, then she's okay? but if someone is unpredictable or hard to read, that's... a big no-no-.
INTERESTS: General mind games like Riddles and puzzles, while she also has an interest in rhyming, also adores To run. Likes to attempt and be able to steal; that and utterly fail at any type of progression in anything. Which is where the running comes in, after figuring out that if you failed you had to get away as fast as you could, she soon learned to like the feel of wind in her face, she may not be very fast but… That is until she falls on her face...
Omg... poor thing... well she shouldn't be stealing in the first place but OW it hurts to fall on your face!
You can definitely elaborate on her love of riddles and puzzles. Maybe the rhyming too? But that seems like a sort of... secondary interest. She's into it, but she's not obsessed. Also. Is her favourite game like.
THE TRADITIONAL STORY SOMETIMES POPULARLY REGARDED AS HISTORICAL OF GRUBZA: A TUNIC WEARING TROLL'S WAKING FROM REST
because
that'd be
really great
haha, or any other troll versions of puzzle/riddle games
PROFESSOR TROLLTON and such
Always has enjoyed carving, weather she's just carving wood or large masses like rocks. Her favorite thing to carve would have to be scenes of other trolls, things like profiles or a group of them. She almost uses this to make up for being so lonely. She has always been quiet about this certain hobby and doesn't usually tell many about it. I mean it's not like you tell someone that you just carved them into a rock, especially someone you don't know.
whether*!
Also aaa that's a cute hobby! Maybe she likes to make wooden puzzles like those trick boxes that you have to pull a certain way, or wood versions of tavern puzzles? That'd fit with the mind game theme, and also give a little uniqueness to it. SYMBOL: Roman Numeral 5
ohhh! so that's the reason for V and the five periods! OTHER: -STRIFE SPECIBI: Tuskkind. This consists of multiple uses of the Tusk of a dead Lusus, weather it is tied off on top of a spear or just used as a dagger. It used to be a spear for a long while after she found it easier to use, but after the tusk broke off of the spear she just started using it as a knife.
whether again*!
hmmm since you said she uses it as a knife it'd go under knifeKind! but other than that, I think this is good!
-FETCH MODUS: Rhyme Modus: items are categorized by how difficult it would be to rhyme that item with something. Items are arranged in least to greatest difficulty, as in the word cat would be in front of the word Phantasmagoria. In order to retrieve that said item a word that either rhymes or contains at least 5 if not all of the same letters would have to have to be said. This only works when it is directly asked for, preventing unfortunate accidents.
-LUSUS: Elephant Her Lusus was always rather protective, but in his own way made things strenuous for her. He always hid things from her or made puzzles for her to follow. Hiding things, placing things in certain orders and then having to find the significance of the order, sometimes even leaving for a certain amount of days and making her arrange her own before he came back. While he would never forget how a puzzle would go, she would. Thus resulting in her having to do it all over again.
hmmm, so far it seems like all the lusii are the same gender as their troll? but this is fine until it's confirmed in canon!
ahh, I've said it before, relationships between lusus and troll are my favourite, especially complex ones like this
this is good, otherwise, though! She blames him for her interest in riddles and puzzles, that and messing with people’s minds. Not that that bothers her or anything, sadly we can't say the same for the people she is playing the tricks on. Along with how she dresses, he never really cared for matching clothes so when she dressed herself she always seemed to look disheveled. It has gotten better today but she still looks rather unmatched.
-QUADRANTS: Empty Would love to just have someone, a Moirail if anything. Someone to look out for her and for her to do the same. While she does like to be a loner it really does get lonely after most of your life. -CLOTHING: While she is not interested In fashion she mostly wears the scarf to keep her neck warm.
this is all good!!!
okay so
I am really enjoying Arsata so far! There's not ABSOLUTELY WRONG AND AWFUL with this bio, just stuff you might want to elaborate on! You've gotten a lot of good ideas down, now all that's really left to do is explain the less obvious ones, and elaborate! You've got a pretty good balance here, though, and as long as you explain stuff later, either in the story or in a separate post, this is all good! The only thing you could maybe add to this would be her relationships. I know she's a loner, but I'm wondering about how she feels about the trolls she's okay/close friends with, the trolls she dislikes... etc.!
Oh, and stuff about SBURB or whatever the game is called in this version, is always welcome!
Thank you for submitting!
~PoB
Theydon Rucks
==> Be the stupid scientist
hey,woah! You are not stupid at all! You are quite well educated, infact!
I CAN ALREADY TELL I AM GOING TO LIKE THIS
== Be the kinda-smart scientist
Ugh, fine whatever. You're still smarter than Kinda.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS
this is a really great sprite
it's nice and simple? but if you took away like, the horns, the symbol, and the face, I'm pretty sure I'd still be able to tell it's this fellow!
that said... hmmm. I think you could definitely choose a better symbol for them! Maybe Scorpio fits their character, but... there are other symbols for scorpions, other symbols for poisonous things... it's best not to use symbols that are in canon?
thetrollreview had some suggestions on alternative symbols if you like the theme of the one you have!
http://thetrollreview.tumblr.com/post/17037459948/i-really-want-to-make-a-fantroll-but-theres-only-one
Your name is THEYDON RUCKS. You are a radical SCIENTIST who likes anything with SCIENCE. Go science! You always wear your fancy white LAB COAT everywhere, and are always prepared for some unexpected science. You're a pretty fun guy,but you don't really take insults well. You tend to OVERACT with HARSH WORDS. But you usually don't mean it.Besides from SCIENCE, you also like ADVENTURE. It's pretty fun to go out with some FRIENDS and SEE NEW WORLDS. You are 6.92 SWEEPS OLD. You're almost 7 sweeps old, and you have to say, you are quite exhilarated and excited for the coming day. Even though it's not for a while. You are a brown-orange blooded LOWBLOOD, but that's okay. You have a couple HIGHBLOOD friends, and they're nice enough. For a bunch of ruckus-smucking-partying-idiots. You've never been to a HIGHBLOOD PARTY, but it sounds like it would be PRETTY FUN.
heeeeeeee
I like that they know EXACTLY HOW OLD THEY ARE going with the whole studious theme
also SCIENCE and ADVENTURE!
I like that!
mostly it seems science trolls like to stay in a lot to study? but I like that they love to see the world
also HIGHBLOOD PARTIES.,.,....
FIRST RULE OF HIGHBLOOD PARTIES, DON'T TALK ABOUT HIGHBLOOD PARTIES
seriously I'm imagining this super secret society of highblood parties and conspiracy theories on who spiked the punch or who switched the tunes
all good!
Your hive is a big dome with a PROJECTOR in the middle of the floor. There's lots of STARS and GALAXIES on your ceiling, coming from the projector. It's pretty cool. There's also a room on the back where you and your RAGING ONE-CLAWED LOBSTER LUSUS sleep. Your Lusus's name is METALLIFERIOUS. He's a pretty cool Lusus. He looks after you and stuff, but he can be quite the rager when it comes to a messy hive. He's been snapping at you for days now to clean it. Oh well.
!!!
!!!
PLANETARIUM HIVE???!!??!
THIS IS REALLY GREAT?!??!
AND
RAGING
ONE CLAWED
LOBSTER LUSUS.
AND THE NAME.
THIS IS ALL
I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THIS
Your Chumhandle is titaniumScientist. You don't have many FRIENDS, to be HONEST. But that's just because you hardly have TIME for things like PESTERCHUM. I mean really, there's way to much RADICAL SCIENCE to be done around here! Like maybe the ROCKET SCIENCE of getting your OUTRAGEOUS MESSY HAIR under control. Maybe one day you'll EMBARK on that ADVENTURE in SCIENCE.
ahh, they're a troll, so he would have a trolltag, not a chumhandle! just to clear that up! I do that all the time or I say "chumtag" and "trollhandle". also, they'd use trollian!
that said, I think you could spice their name up a bit! perhaps...
titanicScientist or titanousScientist? both are related to titanium, but make it flow a little better. generally the first word is an adjective, and the second is a noun, too.
and, THAT said
probably they are perfecting the science of hair spray
donut worry your hair is really great you don't have to change it
Not having very many FRIENDS is just part of that RECIPE FOR LONELINESS. None of your QUADRANTS are filled, and that makes you KINDA SAD sometimes. But with previously SAID SCIENCE, there's far too much to do anyway. One of your FEW FRIENDS'S chumhandle is superflousRedundance. But you don't really want to talk about her right now.
I like that trolltag!!! also wah, poor thing! I'm sure they'll fill some quadrants and find some friends eventually
also I am now really interested in this SR... *___*
Your weapong of choice is a SCYTHEKIND.It's kinda bright orange, and you find it KINDA COOL to dip it in SCORPION POISON before you kill something with it, seeing as you are a SCORPIO.
Hmmm, the weapon is fine, but you might want to change the bit about being a scorpio? Maybe they like to experiment with the types of metals they use? Maybe some of the scythes they use are really impractical, or fragile, but they use them anyway because they're pretty *___* or because they have some sentimental value!
Your QUIRK isn't really that special. You just add an extra 't' and 'y' and CAPITALIZE all the 'E's'. But it's one of the things you're most SENSITIVE about. You don't really like people MAKING FUN of the way you talk and or type. You usually respond with SARCASTIC RAGE and NOT-VERY-NICE-WORDS. But really, who fucking makes fun of the way someone talks? That's just rude.
Hmmmm, the quirk is unique enough? but I don't really see how it relates to their character! I mean, even simple quirks like Karkat's relate to his general frustration with everything, Terezi's to her childishness, and so on. If you submit something again, I'd like to hear an explanation for this bit!
btw,talk sprite.
Can you tell these are totally my first sprites for HS lol
I hope this turned out okay, I kindasortaslappedittogetherlol
OMG
THIS SPRITE...
IT'S GIVING ME A LOT OF...
FEELS...
okay!!! to conclude this
You have a good base here. There's a lot you can expand on, and, as I said, some things that you could expand on if you change? His symbol, for example. You could still maybe relate back to scorpions and poisonous things, without it actually being the scorpio sign. Or if you change it completely, relating to metals or something! Go wild.
My only other real suggestion besides expand, expand, expand, is with the sprites? It seems like you used the brush tool with the second one (and maybe on the first's symbol)? It's not such a good idea to use it if you can help it. It makes it very hard to go back and edit things if you want to change the hair, or horns, or something, and suddenly
tons of tiny pixels...
if it got like that because you resized you can change that by selecting "nearest neighbor" under resample image, the last bit on the image size window
ignore that if you aren't working with photoshop (or maybe photoshop cs??? idk how much it varies)
All in all, you've got a great start to a surely fantastic character :)! Keep on writing!
~PoB
ALEPHI LEMNIS
Oh my god
THEY ARE SO CUTE..,,,.,.
omg this sprite is really great
my only advice would be would be uh, with the horns! I think the other horn would be visible from this perspective? and also with the horns you only have orange and red? unless their horns are broken, I think the top of the horns is always yellow! and uh, I don't think you finished the seams on the crotch of their pants! other than that this is really kawaii aaaaa <3 their hair is so nice
(Dividing this section into smaller bits just so it's easier to read!)
Your name is ALEPHI LEMNIS. You are approximately seven sweeps old, but that is not something you keep track of. Counting is not really your thing; you could, in fact, say that it is not one of your interests, of which you do have many. Too many to count. But you wouldn’t want to try it in the first place. You hate counting. Among your interests, however, are quite a few other things that don’t involve numbers.
oo!!! I like the name! I assume the lemnis is short for lemniscate, and alephi is just an extension of aleph? and haha, I think most trolls would find it a bit strange to not really count the sweeps? I mean, survival in their culture is such a huge thing! but I think it's okay for some trolls to not really care. why doesn't alephi like counting, though?
You enjoy STAYING INSIDE YOUR HIVE and WATCHING TERRIBLE COMEDY MOVIES. Though your taste in films is sub-par, it is your ability to dress yourself attractively that is REALLY QUITE SAD. Your most favorite hobby is practicing a number of MARTIAL ARTS which involve a lot of kicking. A major part of your everyday life is cutting your hair and sanding down your horns, which grow at a SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE RATE.
YES TERRIBLE COMEDY MOVIES and sshhhh honey your fashion sense is fabulous
also is their favourite subgenre of terrible comedy like
action comedy
Clouseau vs. Cato style
also hmmm the bit about the hair is okay, but... I'm not so sure about horns?
they seem like they're pretty sensitive, like antennae, I mean, even Vriska who fights and does dangerous things, hasn't broken a horn? and then you've got Equius who has, and, well...
but that's just my personal opinion? I don't remember if there's been anything said in canon about them being sensitive, except a brief reference to them being erogenous zones
however, this is fine, and it explains why there's only orange and red on their horns!
You also occasionally try to STEP OUTSIDE YOUR HIVE, but usually your favorite part of this is GOING BACK IN. The closed space of your respite block is very comforting to you, despite the fact that it very often smells like HORRIBLE SEVENFOLD DRAGON STENCH.
o h m y g o d
HORRIBLE SEVENFOLD DRAGON STENCH
HOW CAN YOU EVEN LIVE WITH THAT
This is thanks completely to your lusus, a seven-headed idiot beast who is too small and too dumb to really serve as much of a caretaker. In fact, he spends most of his time either DEVOURING EVERYTHING HE CAN FIT IN HIS MOUTHS or emitting an odor so peculiar that you really wish you HAD NO NOSE AT ALL. Even so, he is your only true friend. In fact, he is your only friend to begin with.
wwwwwww aaaaaa I love strong troll-lusus relationships waaaaa
and ): I hope Alephi will make some more friends! it's okay to want your alone time with SEPTIDRAGONDAD but it's good to at least talk over trollmegle
Your trolltag is occamsOverseer and you speak in a way that is soort oof loopy and kind oof bizzare, thoough yoou really wish yoou coould stoop.
OOOO is occams a reference to Occam's razor... INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW I mean I assume it is but still!
good tag though!!!
hmmm the quirk is kind of boring... I think maybe you could spice it up a little? maybe you could add like...
~~in a way that is SOORT OOF LOOPY and kind OOF bizarre, THOOUGH YOOU really wish YOOU COOULD STOOP::::
with the ~~ representing lots of HAIR and the :::: representing dust from sanding horns? and emphasis on the words containing the o's. alt. quirks might be like
~~ IN A WAY THAT IS SooRT ooF LooPY AND KIND ooF BIZARRE, THooUGH YooU REALLY WISH YooU CooULD STooP ::::
~~ in a way that is Soort oof Loopy and kind oof bizarre, Thoough Yoou really wish Yoou Coould Stoop::::
for the first one of those two, all caps except for o's, for the second, capitalization on the words that contain o's? just to put emphasis on the infinity symbols, and to maybe express their ENTHUSIASM for MARTIAL ARTS AND SHOUTING YEAH!
anyway!
You have a great base here! The sprite is very cute, and I love all the ideas you've laid down, but... you haven't really given much explanation for anything! I mean, I have so many questions about this lovely fellow! I know the meanings for everything, but I don't know exactly why you've chosen them. Why all the math references and such, when Alephi is so averse to counting? Why the seven-headed dragon lusus? Why do their hair and horns grow so fast?
I have no real criticisms except I'd like to hear much more, especially about their personality! This was very short, so I look forward to an edited/extended version in the future.
Thank you for submitting! I look forward to more on Alephi! :D
~PoB
TORPAQ ATERAN
Apologies for my absence! I came down with a rather bad cold, but I'm coming off it now!
((I...kind of wrote way too much for this. xD; I hope it's not to irritating to read through it all, haha...
Donut worry! More might take longer (or less, depending), but it also means there's less to ask you to add!
Anyway, pictures!
AAAA THIS IS REALLY FANTASTIC...
THEIR FACE... OH MY GLOB... AND THOSE HORNS...
also I really like the ears! they're not really necessary, since usually ears aren't included in a sprite, but THEY ARE REALLY FANTASTIC LOOKING HERE...
an older sprite that I should really redo
SO GREAT and fuq that earring is so cute
I can't help it I love vests and earrings and goggles/glasses
aaaaa
and a crappy scribble that's more accurate as per his clothing.
So yes, on to the actual troll! ))
== > Be the jittery, cautious scumbag
Your name is TORPAQ ATERAN. You are a male, yellowblooded troll of 7 sweeps and you live in an offshoot tunnel of a LARGE CAVERN DEEP UNDERGROUND with your LEATHERWINGBEAST LUSUS. You love your lusus; You have fondly nicknamed him CHIRPCHIRP after the little noises he makes. He’s kind of UGLY, so you’ve been told, but you don’t really care because you can’t see him, anyway, so it all works out! Even if you could see him, you’re sure you would LOVE HIM ALL THE SAME.
aaAAAA
yes perfect!!!!
man one of my favourite things about fantrolls is finding out what their lusus is/what their relationship with their lusus is like
it's just
so great
this is all fine, though maybe chirpdad might be better for a lusus' nickname? idk it just seems like the all seem to follow the "-mom" or "-dad" format, but chirpchirp is good as well! or a better uh, kind of onomatopoeia, might be screech? so screechscreech or screechdad!
like I said, it's okay, these are just suggestions!
Because of living in near-complete darkness all your life (after all, fuel for lamps can run out very quickly), you've learned to rely upon your sense of hearing above sight, and as a result your ears grew quite a bit larger than most troll’s to catch sound waves better. CHIRPCHIRP has helped by teaching you how to tell if things were in your way by making a series of SMALL CLICKING NOISES with your tongue. However, while this is EXTREMELY HELPFUL, you cannot discern DETAILS very well. If you did go above ground often, even in the light of the moons you wouldn’t be able to ‘SEE’ a thing without your sound-sight; Your left eye is EXTREMELY NEARSIGHTED and your right eye is EXTREMELY FARSIGHTED. You would wear glasses, but you have learned to cope without eyesight so WHY BOTHER. Besides, were you to get glasses you wouldn’t be able to put on your SPIFFY GOGGLES- Your eyes may not work very well, but they still have feeling in them and gog DAMN getting bits of stone in your eyes hurts.
OHHH SO THAT'S WHY HIS EARS ARE SO LONG! yes this is good
I think it might put him in some danger, since it's a mutation, but it doesn't seem like he gets out much... so yes, I like this!
also yes! I think being in the dark would really screw up someone's eyesight, and I like that bit about the goggles. like, they serve a practical purpose, but they're also really spiffy!
The fact that you can’t see above ground either doesn’t really matter, though, because the only time that you need to go above ground is when you need to COLLECT SUPPLIES for yourself and FOOD for your lusus. To get food for your lusus, you simply set some traps to catch FLUTTERBEASTS. To acquire food, water, and any other basic needs for yourself, you bring a few GOLD TRINKETS with you to trade with other trolls.
YES GOOD FLUTTERBEASTS...
I think you could maybe clarify this bit a little? I mean, just to make sure you are indeed talking about insects you could add "and annoying blood-sucking pests called BITEBEASTS" or something? I mean, just so we're sure you're not referring to birds or something
other than that, I like that his environment provides a source of income for him!
Speaking of GOLD TRINKETS, you mine for precious minerals in the main cavern, namely gold. You're quite fond of gold, as it VERY NEARLY MATCHES YOUR BLOOD, except your blood is not shiny. You surround yourself with little gold trinkets, though you insist that it’s justified by a LOGICAL REASON. You know you should stop, but addiction is a powerful thing. The ‘logical reason’ is that the shines are really the only thing you can SOMEWHAT SEE without your sound-sight; Gold catches light very well, so you line safe pathways with small gold pieces so that they shine in the light of the ONE SMALL OIL LAMP that you own. However, since you go through fuel REALLY FAST, the light is never really on anyway so you really are JUST HOARDING GOLD. Oops.
HAHAHA
THIS IS REALLY GREAT...
no, no way am I hoarding gold
I need this
to buy stuff
yeah
totally
SHUSH Anyway, most trolls are not averse to a little extra money, so most are MORE THAN WILLING to trade. However, you prefer to work with lowbloods, as highbloods SCARE YOU quite a bit. They make you nervous, so when you meet anyone above a light blueblood, you are as polite as you can possibly be. Lowbloods make you nervous, too, but less so than highbloods. In fact, a lot of things make you nervous; extremely large open spaces, large crowds, being above ground in general...When you’re nervous, you tend to TALK A LOT FASTER and a LOT QUIETER, automatically assuming that because you can hear yourself perfectly fine, SO CAN EVERYONE ELSE. Obviously, this is NOT THE CASE and many a horrible things could happen from someone mishearing you. It has YET TO HAPPEN, but you know it will someday, and so you get EVEN MORE nervous and talk EVEN FASTER...And so the circle continues.
aAAAA BABY...
I love how he assumes that everyone can hear him, like he's unconsciously willing them NOT to hear him
and the bit about highbloods is good!!!
I can't recall seeing many trolls that are like, particularly worried about those of a higher colour, or those that have a... breaking point, I guess? for how high the blood can be before GROVELING BEGGING ness On a completely unrelated note, you have an interesting ability; If know the EXACT location of an item or thing, you can TELEPORT it. The distance you can make it go depends on the size of the object. However, it can be rather TEMPERAMENTAL- should you let your concentration waver for but a second, the object could be sent to the COMPLETELY WRONG PLACE. Despite the risk. this is an ability which your friends exploit for VARIOUS SHENANIGANS.
You also use your ability to clear CAVE-INS and to MINE FOR YOUR GOLD, and drop the rubble and dirt somewhere above ground.
good! I like all the restrictions on it. it has a practical use besides shenanigans, but only for specific situations, and would only really be useful in a few
if you didn't have these limitations it'd be like
but this is good! I'm sure a lot of hilarious things could happen with this... Because of your lack of outside contact, you are extremely timid and awkward when it comes to socializing with other trolls. For example, you have amassed quite a large collection of PET ROCKS whom you talk to and care for. Your friends say it’s weird- NOT SO, you insist.
AAAAAA
DO THEY HAVE TEA PARTIES
DOES TORPAQ MAKE TEA SETS OUT OF GOLD
IMPORTANT QUESTIONS ((okay so this next bit...I really need opinions on it, still not 100% sure if I’m using it.)) ...okay, so some of that was a lie, but you CAN’T HELP YOURSELF. Yes, you hoard gold, and yes, you are extremely cautious, and yes, you are a bit of a social reject, but you are also LIAR LYING LIARFACE. You are not even close to as socially awkward as you pretend; In fact, you’ve even had most of your quadrants filled. As for going above ground, you actually venture there QUITE OFTEN when you have NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
THE NERVOUS RUSE WAS A,,,,,,,,, DISTACTION
You are extremely polite to highbloods partly because you are NERVOUS and partly because you REALLY DO BELIEVE in the hemospectrum, but more because the more high troll’s good books you’re in, THE BETTER. You can grovel and plead and beg, act the perfect lowblood part, get into highblood’s favor (and sometimes even a quadrant!), and then carefully PULL A FEW STRINGS. The highblood never realizes you were using them and EVERYONE’S HAPPY. Obviously, were any of the trolls you know to find out, they’d be SUPER PISSED, but hey, YOU’RE A TROLL; what do you expect, sunshine and flowers and rainbows? You’re a troll. You manipulate. Big deal.
yesSSSSSSSSS
outer layer of nervousness
inner layer of manipulation
then to complete it
maybe a core of feeling really horrible that he supports stuff like this? and a hatred for everything he does?
idk it seems like a lot of trolls have... some form of inner hatred that they don't remember to deal with or don't know how to deal with so they lock it away
just my thoughts, here! Your strife specibus is SLINGSHOTKIND- you carry a small pouch around your waist full of small stones and pebbles. Unfortunately, this specibus REALLY DOESN’T HELP AT ALL because you’re a CRAP SHOT, considering your lack of good eyesight. Therefore, you often fall back on your PSYCHIC ABILITY to move things around and hopefully do something to help you.
this is fine!
though wouldn't be hilarious if
one of his friends who knows he's just putting on a show
thought that his crap shot was just an act
but no
he's just
really really bad Your trolltag is auditoryFlittermouse and "you speakkk in a tentative, quiet and slightly meekkk way, and yOu do your best tO not Offend anyOne Or ccause trOuble".
oooo!!! I like this! it's nice and easy to read
though I think maybe you could change the first part of his tag? to something like
apprehensiveFlittermouse
but also GOOD OLD WORDS FOR BAT perfect
(( misc; Torpaq- Azerbaijani for earth or soil Ateran- I totally forgot, actually, I think it’s a shortening of a word that means ‘sounds’ or ‘bats’ or something. whoops. Bard of Void Land of Echoes and Stone quirk; Triple 'k', as there are three bones in the inner ear, capital O to represent his symbol, Double 'c' because it can resemble a pair of ears or soundwaves. Everything else is lowercase, and no apostrophes, rarely periods unless in a “...” type manner.
ooo!!!
I'm liking the quirk even more!
it's nice and easy to read, but also has a lot of stuff relating to his theme When actually talking, he stutters a bit, but not much, and pronounces the ‘k’ and hard ‘c’ sound very crisply. He also speaks in a very low volume, because he automatically assumes that since he can hear himself perfectly well, so can everyone else.
His fetch modus is Sightkind; it stores infinite amounts of items, but his echolocation doesn't work on it so most of the time he just store only a few items so that his chances of pulling the right one is higher. (I’m still not totally sure about the modus, any suggestions?)
hmmm
maybe for this you could do
echolocationKind?
maybe the items are hidden in the area he's in and so he has to use echolocation to find something that would be large or small enough to hide the item he wants?
The person who figured out his ruse was a past matesprit; a seadweller. After a while, Torpaq actually started to feel for the highblood, so when they left he was kind of really torn up about it. As per the current timeline in the RP I’m using him for with some friends, he’s overly cautious with the relationships he’s engaged in in case they decide to leave him, too.
oooo dang that's gotta hurt!
especially with him being of such a low colour? it's probably added some like, genuine fear because
seadweller knows your secret
and not all seadwellers are fef... Also, I feel I should include this because I don’t really know how to put it in the paragraphs; to see his husktop screen when talking to his friends, he moves the nearsighted eye reeeeeaaaaally close to the screen so he can read the text. This kind of gives him a headache, though.
HAHAHAHA
YES I LOVE LITTLE THINGS LIKE THIS Yeppp. Feel free to tear apart, I’m interested in seeing opinions and such! ))
Then, you linked a picture of his lusus in another ask so let's look at tha--
http://whitenosebats.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/dsc0145.jpg
--OH NO
I CAN'T HANDLE
OH NO
TOO CUTE
AAAAA
ahem
I really like the character you have here! I love all the layers of his character, and all the little things that connect to another. The only thing I'm wondering is the meaning of his symbol!
Other than that, there's not much to change here! The only things you could do to make this better, really, would be just to tweak it in some places to make it more fluent? I'd also like to hear more about his relationships!
Thank you for submitting!
~PoB
Leonardo Pain (Fankid)
((I have submited several other dudes who are all in your submission box except for one [slendertroll] and i am too lazy to make it an anon submit so WELP enjoy my first fankid!))
oooooooh no-longer-anon :3
I sure am glad to hear from you again
I mean slendertroll was really p great SO
==> Be the French-Italian kid
okay!
You become the French-Italian kid
I feel oddly accomplished...
Your name is LEONARDO PAIN, you're a 15 year old male human, and you are quite the SCHOLAR.
Oh I like that name! Also nice introduction. I feel as though I am going to like this young man...!
Well, actually, you're HOMESCHOOLED, but you like to PRETEND you're a highly educated SCHOLAR. The TRUTH is, you LIVE with your UNCLE, MARIO, who is a simple BAKER in ITALY. You and he live ABOVE the BAKERY he owns. Of course, most of his MONEY goes to making sure that the BILLS get PAID, the BAKERY stays STOCKED, and you both get FED, so you don't have much MONEY to get yourself new CLOTHES. That means you've had the same FLANNEL JACKET and HAT since you were around 13. You haven’t grown MUCH since then, though, so they still FIT. They also have a TON of PATCHES in them from you FIXING them up.
Hmm, it is possible to be quite highly educated at home, you know! Though of course he would not be a highly educated scholar while going through regular school things for children.
The bakery thing is neat though especially with the pain pun in there... ok I am easily amused we've established this
One of your MAIN interests is ANATOMY. In fact, your ROOM above the BAKERY is MOSTLY dedicated to THAT. You even made a MAKESHIFT room out of BLANKETS that you call your "WORKSHOP." It mostly has WOODEN CRATES that you have made into makeshift SPECIMIN PANS to hold your SPECIMIN in. You also use SEWING NEEDLES as PINS. You only own ONE scalpel, which suits you FINE, since it works GREAT. Your UNCLE even lets you SHARPEN it with his WHETSTONE, as long as you CLEAN the scalpel first. It’s not HARD to find SPECIMIN either. Usually there's an ANIMAL that's dead on the ROAD, or you can FIND a FROG or something in the SMALL WOODLANDS near your TOWN. Then, you just CUT them open! It seems gross to MOST people, but it's a PERFECTLY NORMAL thing to do! Besides, how ELSE would you learn about the INTERNAL ANATOMY of a SQUIRREL?
Ohh-yeah.
I am really digging this part
You also enjoy INVENTING. Well, mostly DRAWING out the PLANS for things to INVENT. Since YOU and your UNCLE have very litle MONEY, it's hard for you to actually BUILD any of your INVENTIONS. Oh well. Your GREATNESS will be KNOWN some day! You mostly invent NEW ways to GET AROUND, such as FLYING machines. The ONLY TIME you got to ACTUALLY build one, you MADE it with WOOD from WOODEN CRATES and SPARE, TORN UP SHEETS. You trying to TEST IT by JUMPING off the BAKERY ROOF ended in FAILURE. And a BROKEN LEGS Your UNCLE banned you from BUILDING any more FLYING MACHINES. That's OK with you THOUGH. You kind of BOTCHED the PROCEDURE. You still DESIGN them, though.
YES
Some of your wording is a little funky here so I guess you could reword some of these sentences? I like this part though it's great
Your UNCLE has also INVOKED a love of BAKING in you. By NOW, it is QUITE EASY for you to MEASURE dough by HAND. He doesn't WANT you to DO that though, cause you MIGHT use TOO MUCH or TOO LITTLE. You even know a COUPLE of the more BASIC recipes by HEART.
Man sometimes I sure wish I knew how to cook things besides alphabet soup, cereal, ramen, and quesadillas
You USED to live in FRANCE with your PARENTS, but at a YOUNG age you moved to ITALY to live with your UNCLE instead. You don't REMEMBER your PARENTS MUCH, and your UNCLE MARIO refuses to TALK about them. Since THEN, you've learned QUITE a few languages, as is COMMON in EUROPE. FRENCH is your FIRST, ENGLISH your SECOND, and ITALIAN your THIRD. You're not FLUENT in ITALIAN, though, but you can HOLD a CONVERSATION well enough. You're FLUENT in FRENCH, and are CLOSE to FLUENT in ENGLISH.
Oh gosh, that is impressive.
Your UNCLE is BALD, though he wears one of those BEANIES with a BILL to cover that UP. He also has a nice, full BEARD that hides his MOUTH, and often has a PIPE protruding from all the FLUFF. He usually has a simple WHITE T-SHIRT and BLACK PANTS on, with a BROWN APRON over it. His eyes are a bit SMALL, and he USUALLY needs to walk with a CANE due to a GAMING ACCIDENT. He often goes off on a RANT about how you should AVOID any SIMUALTED REALITY games. APPARENTLY they can be VERY DANGEROUS to the POINT of having your LEGS BROKEN by a "BLACK KING" or WHATEVER. It seems a bit RACIST to YOU, but you don't SAY anything. He also has his STRIFE SPEC set to BREADKIND. It may seem SILLY, but you've had your HEAD smashed with a VERY STALE baguette TOO MANY TIMES to laugh about it.
Oh my god
oh my god
poor uncle mario
I am like laughing and crying at the same time aahhhhuuhhh
You also have a CAT that you've named ASSASSINO, which is ITALIAN for ASSASSIN. You named him for the SOLE FACT that he OFTEN brings you DEAD MICE and other SMALL ANIMALS. This actually EXCITES you, unlike MOST cat owners, because you have a USE for them. DISSECTING! You LOVE your cat VERY MUCH, even so MUCH as to let him RIDE and SIT on your SHOULDER when you WALK AROUND or WORK in your WORKSHOP. You mostly FEED him the BODIES of the things you DISECTED after you're DONE, as long as he WANTS to EAT them. Sometimes he DOESN’T want to EAT them, so you RELENT and sneak him a bit of your DINNER.
Oh that's cute.
IDK if you need to specify that it's Italian for assassin, except as sort of an after-trivia bit? Since, uhh, it is pretty clear what it means, from the context!
You tend to be quite CALM and RESERVED, and are a bit of a COWARD. You prefer to STUDY or WORK instead of FIGHTING. Besides, that's how people get KILLED! You prefer to ABSCOND, but if CORNERED then you won’t mind FIGHTING off your ENEMY with your bladeKind SPECUBIS.
What a great guy
Your CHUMHANDLE is patchatoStudioso, and you tend to type in way that can be seen a bit off in English, but still quite understandable! you also tend to throw in Italiano and French words sometimes, usually when excited or exclaiming something. (I.E. MIO DIO! MON DEU! Porca puttana! My god in Italian and French, and then holy shit in italian.)
Hmm. I'd be careful not to overdo this, since... it is easy... to get obnoxious... but I also think it makes sense for someone to use exclamations in their native languages or just languages they are more familiar with? SO probably this is okay!
__basic info__
Name: Leonardo Pain. Pain is french for Bread.
frenchmen love pain
yeah that is still a ridiculous pun and I really hate myself for being amused
Age: 15 years
Chumhandle: patchatoStudioso (patchedScholar in Italian :Y. Since he lives in italy why would he use an english trollhandle? Makes sense that he would use the native language i think!)
Yeah, I think he would either use one in his native language, or else you would just embrace the absurdity that is homestuck and put it in english anyway! But for his pesterchum I see no reason to translate something that he'd pick for himself...
Based on: Leonardo DaVinci. Italian artist, inventor, and a man who made a lot of anatomical sketches.
Yes, I noticed!
Symbol: A heart (the kind you see on Valentines Day) with 4 blood valves and an aorta on it.
GOOD
Interests: Anatomy, Inventing, and Baking.
good!
Color: http://www.color-hex.com/color/8e6469 (That or one of the other colors under that tridiac on the page. Not sure which fits him best :? )
I'm fond of the green one, myself. I got sort of a... all right this might sound weird but I had a bit of a green impression of him while reading? I don't know how to put it better than that, sorry.
Clothing choice: A flannel jacket, flannel beret, and simple black working pants. Under the jacket is a plain white shirt. His jacket, hat, and pants have a lot of patches.
Oh man that is really cute-sounding
I haven't posted any happy gifs yet so let me do that now
oh yeah, that's pretty happy!
House: A small 3 room apartment above his uncle Mario’s bakery. It has two bedrooms and a bathroom. They usually cook their meals in the Bakery's kitchen, and either eat in the bakery, or if the bakery is open late due to being busy, Leonardo eats in his room with his cat.
Guardian: His Uncle Mario. He’s a Large baker who has become VERY buff due to the lifting of heavy objects such as flour bags. He also is bald w/ a beard. Looks a bit like Bluto from Popeye, but with different clothes! He also has a cane due to an accident in the game of Sburb Gamma. Tries to keep his nipote(nephew) away from the game to protect him, though doesn't name it directly!
Pets: A cat named Assassino due to its habit of killing small animals and bringing them home.
I just really love all of this part
Title: If he enters the game of Sburb Delta, the European version that is capatible with the other SBURB versions, his title would be the Ladro di Salute, or Thief of Health.
I like sburb delta and gamma those are neato titles :)
and that's a nice title too!!!
Land: If he enters the game of Sburb Delta, his land will be the Land of Bone and Snow. The land would be very icy/snowy, and would have large skeletons, as well as large bones standing upright on their own, half buried in the snow. His consorts would be Pale gray Angora Rabbits who like to wrestle. His Denzien's lair would be a huge cave literally made out of a giant skull. An entrance to some Catacombs would lead to a huge labyrinth of tunnels filled with bones (similar to the catacombs of italy, where they put wine as well as their dead ancestors). Once you make it to the center, his denzien, Hermes (Greek god of Invention along with other things) would be sleeping.
yES
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I DIG THIS ENTIRE PART
REALLY GREAT
Strife: bladeKind.It makes it easier for him to use his scalpel, seeing as it won’t take up one of his cards. Besides, anything with a blade can be used as a scalpel!
Yes I love this part!!!
Fetch: Dissecting Modus. His items are placed in organ cards. He must dissect the correct card from the correct location on a random animal. IE. It might be a dog at one point, and then a frog. It's always something small enough to place in the general area he’s in though! Also, if he injures the organ in any way, the card is destroyed and the item is flung out at high speeds, covered in the fluids inside of the organ (so if it was in the stomach it would have weak stomach acid on it!)
omg
omg that's delightful
I'm going to put the happy gif again
except please imagine it looking slightly grossed out in addition to being delighted
"Quirk": He has slightly broken English, and uses French or Italian when exclaiming things in surprise, fear, etc. also doesn't use caps, unless "Yelling" or excited.
(MIO DIO! what happen here! why did bathtub come down?? my uncle will kill me when he sees this!)
oh my gosh
I don't care how silly it is the bathtub thing will never cease to make me laugh
like I said the quirk is fine, but I feel like you should really, really make sure to tone it down? Or aim to make it readable first, reflecting his personality second
because people should not be constantly noticing a quirk! They should just be reading the text in whatever voice they imagine the character to have or however they read it
and even a few small changes will go a long way in how people perceive a character. Like just a few consistent mistakes with a certain kind of english word will be really noticeable and help get the idea of how he types across!
HOPE I DIDNT USE TOO MUCH ITALIAN LANGUAGE IN THIS :Y. Oh well i guess! FIRST fankid yeee. I hope the mention of his uncle having played sburb is ok :U. It's a different version then the canon kids, too, so that might make up for it. (Gamma/Delta instead of Alpha/Beta)
Yeah I think that should be fine considering it's... well all homestuck fansessions are by necessity an AU. So. Messing around with the worldbuilding is a-okay in my book!
ALSO PICTURES YEE
Leonardo: http://i.imgur.com/Ssn69.jpg
Uncle Mario: http://i.imgur.com/XRFlI.png
OH
THOSE ARE REALLY CUTE AND SIMPLE DESIGNS
I REALLY DIG IT A LOT
man I love this guy!! He is really cute, and I could only find a few fixes that I'd really suggest you do? Mostly I am just delighted
Please smooth out the wording, and please consider toning down his quirk just a bit? Aside from this, yeah
everything
is beautiful
and wonderful!
SO PLEASE keep doing things and working on this guy because I quite all your characters...! Thank you for submitting, anyway, and I hope you have a wonderful day!
~tgf
meteorhammer
in response to meteor hammers
I think they might go under chainkind??? I love meteor hammers, btw, they are super rad but uh
yeah chainweaponKind or something is all I can think of that would fit!
so yes, this is just my two cents!
~PoB
psst google meteor hammer and you will see what it actually is lol. its sort of like a flail but without any spikes on the ball, and instead of a wooden handle its just rope.
ohhhhh I see then
well yeah I actually have no idea what you could do about this whatsoever
I GUESS GO WITH WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU IS RIGHT!!!
~tgf
Hey, I'm the person who submited Zaliiv. I just want to say, a meteor hammer wouldn't really fall under hammerkind, because it's basically a weighted metal ball on the end of a long chain. I don't really know what kind abstratus that would be- anyone have any ideas?
Oh uh. I almost want to say that it would still fall under olympic/highland hammers? you know, like these?
So... maybe instead of just plain hammerKind, it could be hammerthrowKind? Or something like that? Sorry, I don't know that much about this sport but there is a wiki article here which might strike your fancy in some way!
~tgf
Your name is VERNAE OTRAVA, but you like to be called MERCURY, or MERC for short. You enjoy being cooped up in your HIVE while doing VERY ARTSY THINGS. Your blood color is a LIGHT BLUE, a tad lighter than EQUIUS’ blood. Despite this fact, you choose to hide it by wearing a BRIGHT SILVER...
I disagree with the idea that it's COMPLETELY WRONG to have a grey symbol?
Because when Terezi is asking Karkat about his blood colour, and he responds, "yadda yadda ya" or whatever he says and she replies something about how he should type in his colour instead of
"lame gray anonymity"
which implies sometimes trolls do choose not to disclose their blood colour, though apparently it's not very common or popular among the trolls we've seen!
Just my two cents on the matter.
~meister
an example of why ms. buttprince is the greatest human being I have ever known
Once I made a goofy fantroll whose symbol was a shopping cart and had grapes growing out of her head or something and then I forgot about it for quite some time until
the prince of butts
made this beautiful perfect sprite of it for me
sorry to gush and I promise actual updates are coming very soon-- I just wanted to say look at this hott sprite ohhh
anyway
~the grande furmeister
>Be the Balancer troll.
[[I don't have a sprite for this troll yet, so here's a picture of her and her lusus]]
REALLY COOL
And I quite like the intro-- I'm pretty curious to find out more!
Your name is ZALIIV DUOZAS, and you ARE AS CLOSE TO THE "BALANCER TROLL" AS ANYONE CAN GET.
Damn it took me like five tries to spell that name right in the tags. Which is to say, I like that name a lot even if it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to type for some reason?!
I think it's quite pretty. Also what's up with this mysterious balancer troll! I really want to know!
After all, your ANCESTOR was called BALANCER BICHROMA. But THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.
!!!
I love that title!
You are a GREEN BLOOD, and PROUD OF IT! Green is in the MIDDLE OF THE HEMOSPECTRUM! That makes you like the BALANCING POINT OF THE HEMOSPECTRUM.
omg this part is kind of cute somehow
You are NEAR OBSESSED with BALANCE. The balance between ORDER and CHAOS, GOOD and EVIL, JUST and UNJUST, all of these are THINGS YOU LOOK FOR and SEEK TO KEEP. Balance is very important, after all! Without it, the UNIVERSE WOULD BE OUT OF WHACK AND EVERYTHING WOULD BE DESTROYED!
I love this bit. Are you intentionally mirroring the little speeches all the exiles make? Because it quite reminded me of that.
It was these beliefs that got your ANCESTOR EXECUTED, because she TRIED TO OPPOSE THE EMPRESS, because the Empress was PUTTING TOO MUCH ON THE SIDE OF CHAOS. But that's not going to happen to you!
Hmm! That sentence is a little oddly worded. I love the second part, though. So confident!
I think the first part could be much clearer, since I don't really understand what this balancer believed to be so chaotic-- supporting the rigid haemospectrum? promoting general nastiness in all directions?
Due to this obsession, your hive is LITTERED WITH SCALES. Large ones, small ones, even broken ones. Your LUSUS, a large TWO-HEADED SNAKE CALLED NEHEBKAU, doesn't seem to really CARE ABOUT THE MESS.
OH WOW I love the pun with scales... scales... omg that's great! And what a funny mess to have, haha.
Your STRIFE SPECIBUS is METEORKIND, referring to a type of weapon called a METEOR HAMMER. You typically WEILD TWO of these in battle, ONE IN EACH HAND.
I think that might fall under hammerKind? And just be a special sort of hammer? Either way, that's a neat weapon.
Not that you need them! You're a PSYCHIC, which isn't EXTREMELY RARE for one of your blood caste, but is VERY UNCOMMON. Your abilities are PERFECTLY BALANCED BETWEEN HARMFUL AND HELPFUL. Unfortunately, the HELPFUL ABILITIES TAKE MORE ENERGY THAN THE HARMFUL ABILITIES! So you guess it ISN'T A PERFECT BALANCE.
Hmm. I'd like to hear more about that!
Your FETCH MODUS is the BALANCE MODUS. It works by having TWO SETS OF CARDS, CHAOS CARDS and ORDER CARDS. It PLACES ITEMS into ONE OF THESE DECKS, and then SHUFFLES THE DECK. Each deck needs an EQUAL NUMBER OF CARDS, so you OFTEN HAVE BLANK CARDS TO DO THIS. With the CHAOS DECK, you have a COMPLETELY RANDOM CHANCE OF GETTING THE CARD YOU WANT. With the ORDER DECK, there is USUALLY SOME ORGANIZATION AND PATTERN TO HOW THE CARDS ARE.
HAHA yes that is a really good
You DON’T HAVE DUAL PERSONALITIES, which obviously means YOU HAVE A PERFECTLY BALANCED PERSONALITY! No one can argue with that. That being said, you have a QUICK TEMPER and TEND TO GO ON A BIT OF A RAMPAGE WHEN YOU’RE ANGRY. But you IGNORE THIS FACT.
Hmmmmmmm. I think you should elaborate further on this so-called balanced personality-- might Zaliiv get really upset about the non-balanced bits? Or anxious about it or what? Also does being balanced get in the way of making friends easily? And I really think you should elaborate more on the rampages bit. Are they SERIOUS ACTUAL RAMPAGES, or was that exaggeration?
Your HIVE is A RATHER LARGE LABRYINTH-LIKE PLACE. Sometimes, you GET LOST! But it’s OKAY, because it’s like a MAZE, which is ORDER THAT RESEMBLES CHAOS. You may be making just a bit of this up.
HAHA I LOVE THIS PART THE BEST
I just am really enjoying how goofy and cool this troll is in GENERAL waaah
Your trolltag is balancingForce and you Like to keep your phra^zez nice and balanceD.
Oh nice quirk! The handle is fine, too, though personally I think you could stand to spice it up a bit.
OK SO. This bio is very nearly a perfect homestuck-style introduction. If I was reading a fanventure, and came to a page with this written on it, I'd be pretty impressed! I do think you could stand to work out a few parts, and explore other parts further.
If you plan to use this bio for a really serious RP, or for full reference, I'd recommend adding a lot more. If it's just meant to be an introduction to something where you'd then share more as the story progressed, then this level of formality is fine, though I feel sort of frustrated... there are a lot of things I'd like to know more about!!!
Thank you for submitting this cool character here; that was actually pretty fun to read. A lot of parts just plain delighted me. :)
Have a wonderful evening!
EDIT-- that was the furmeister reviewing, btw!! Sorry, I forgot to tag!
