Me and My madness

💌's secret vent side account congrats you found me :000 I mostly tag stuff if tw/cw needed but I may forget so be careful they/it/kit possible tws/cws so ehhh careful

[letskeep-going]

I want it back

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It's so incredibly unfair why do I have to loose so much to get happier ?

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Like yes I have a very loving sister and brother and I live with said brother and his fiancé but. But there not.

There not my parents we've already had this talk and I don't think of them that way

But I'm 19 km 19 and I miss having a mom and dad I miss it

Sometimes dhhd I just jdhdj I just have moments and I'm like god I need my mom, but I can't!! I can't have her!! And she's not good for me anyway and never was but I just I'm 19 and I have so many years left but I don't think I can do it without parents but I'm never going to be able to replace that, I can't fix that

There's nothing anyone can do they can't just magically give me parents again

[letskeep-going]

Does that make sense?

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I miss the idea of parents

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Idk I just

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It's not even like they where good parents I mean he leaves for years and then drops dead and she abuses me and it's like god

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Ohhhh I miss having parents ohhh nooo

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What ever. Counts as a crisis like all these services keep saying ouyggga call or text if in crisis and it's like mf I'm not in crisis I'm doing things I'm just not all the way here rn? Will you get mad at me if I'm not in crisis like???

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I blink and then " hurt yourself so they don't have to hurt you, it's a service " comes into my head and it's just.. Hello?? Were things not going well what even happened I blinked and I'm back here again

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Oh dear old me I miss who I used to think you were

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How pitiful right? She just stopped one day and I'd go and lay next to her in hopes she'd do it again but nope she just got really annoyed and would tell me to fuck off, I don't get what I did wrong, was I not appealing anymore? I could just.. ask him if he would give me head scratches if we could have a movie night and if I could lay on his lap but it wouldn't be the same, its not the same if you have to ask for it ,it would feel forced

[letskeep-going]

Ouyggggagggg I miss when she used to let me lay on her lap and she'd give me head scratches ughh I miss when she was on a call and she'd fix my hair out of my face

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Nothings horrible people love you, you daft cunt

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" so how's uni work going " Im gonna rip myself to shreds " oh yeah it's going great " everything is horrible my guy

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Listen I am forever glad I'm like eughh loved now or whatever but I do miss the comfort of knowing I could walk around with shredded arms and no one would say anything that shit was awful and incredible at the same time AGHSGSHGS

[letskeep-going]

Euthhhhhh