an open letter to myself
I would rather die ten thousand deaths then feel how I feel at this very moment. I'm in the biggest fight for my life literally with myself. I lay in bed at night and beat myself up for feeling not good enough and i wonder what i shouldve done. How do you battle life when you've not only lost yourself but what you have been fighting for and what you want? Its emotionally exhausting to keep feeling unhappy. What makes life so important if you literally have nothing left. No fight, no desire, no motivation, and no happiness. And then i justify it, or try to atleast. Shit happens. What are you gonna do, give up or quit? No, I realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure your still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you, that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.
