if you need me, i’ll be sobbing on the floor. humans, man
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@letters-into-the-void
if you need me, i’ll be sobbing on the floor. humans, man
Sometimes I really want to take everyone under the age of 24 (as of 2026) by the shoulders and say:
"I'm really sorry that lockdown and the ongoing pandemic interrupted pivotal educational and social/emotional development moments for you. You have an uphill battle towards adjusting to a lot of community based efforts because you experienced a mass trauma during an incredibly important time in your life where you should have physically been around your peers learning to engage in shared community. There is no "but" here, I'm genuinely really sorry. Something many of us consider key points in our interpersonal growth as youths was taken from you, not without reason but without care for its impact on you. I hope you know we are eternally allies in our struggles and if that is something you struggle to know I hope you can learn it someday."
Because so many of the angriest, most disenfranchised people I see on this website are under 24 and I often try to put younger people's behavior in the context of where they might have been 2020. I've seen the impact on my siblings and their peers+friends first hand, all ages 18-24. We've talked about how its impacted them, the isolation, the attachment to the internet, the anxieties and phobias and fears it developed in them due to the pandemic, the political unrest, and the responses to both that we've seen since. I know they're not the only ones and I know how much being marginalized also influences that impact too.
It's terrifying. I know it must be terrifying for a lot of the young people on Tumblr too. I hope one day we're able to bridge all of those complex feelings into something collective and positive so we can do our best to prevent similar traumas from happening to future generations.
Just watched a 48 minute long video on tik tok. Like wtf, that should not be allowed
we fucked up
we need to bring back the simple art of just “come to my house and we hang out without an activity or pretense or meal” my friend hung out on my couch for seven hours today we just gabbed… no specific plans no activities involved. likeee let’s just hang out on my couch forever and ever amen
At a cafe on campus and they appear to be playing a reggae beat that heavily features one of those 90's groan tubes. Sure, why not
you know, the more i think about it, the more i'm convinced that UT/DR discussions would benefit a lot from people having played The Stanley Parable. if you wanna discuss the interplay between the agencies of the human player and in-game avatars, it's very valuable to have a handle on what "agency" can even mean in the context of a video game in the first place
wait i just had a bona fide shower thought i don't know how it took me this long to make the connection
these two things are the same. they serve the same narrative purpose
to elaborate
Both the broom closet "ending" and the genocide route of undertale are commentary on how players in a videogame based around choice will almost always stop interacting with the story emotionally, and begin treating the game as explicitly a video game, just so they can exhaust every possible choice and route it has to offer.
The Broom Closet "Ending"
I say "ending" in quotes because it's not even an ending. The game never restarts, and you are always free to leave the closet at any time and get any actual ending that comes after the employee meeting room. It only "ends" because the narrator eventually stops talking (which, granted, is nearly the same thing, see: the Zending and Apartment Ending; also Whiteboard Ending for commentary on what counts as an ending).
In usual Stanley Parable fashion, most of the analysis is done by the Narrator himself, very explicitly, out loud, but easy to miss if you're not engaging with it as analysis. What frustrates him the most about the situation is that there's nothing to do in the closet, assuming you're still engaging with the game's story. There no new choice to be made, no indication that there would be one, not even a prompt to make another choice as it tradition in the game ("He entered the door on his left" and similar cues).
Then the Narrator prattles on about how there's literally nothing to do in the broom closet, etc, etc. What he comes close to realizing but never quite does, is that him ranting about the broom closet is precisely the point of the Broom Closet "Ending". There's nothing relevant to the story or universe or the game here. The only reason people stay in the broom closet for more than 10 seconds is that they've completely abandoned caring about the actual story, and their suspension of disbelief.
Not that the game actually judges/moralizes you for that. The story is paper-thin. Stanley is a non-character, maybe even the quintessential non-character. It's a parable, it's not meant to have worldbuilding or lore beyond what's needed to expose its points. The Narrator and the logic of the world change radically and inconsistently with each ending to better serve its purpose. Interpreting this ending as the devs whining that people would follow a choice they coded in is, I think, doing a major disservice to the cleverness of the writing in this game.
You stay in the broom closet because, on some level, you are keenly aware that games are made by people, with only finitely many paths coded in (sorry, Raphael), and that the Narrator acknowledging you is the ultimate proof of there being something to do. In continuing down this path, you have to completely stop caring about the game on a story level. The devs ensured this by making the broom closet utterly boring: there's literally nothing else to do in that thing (it's a broom closet!).
Interestingly, the Narrator very quickly matches the player's detachment, beginning to addressing them as "you" and implicitly being aware of there being a real person behind Stanley. He then starts going on about how you'll mention this event as "OH, DID U GET THE BROOM CLOSET ENDING? THEB ROOM CLOSET ENDING WAS MY FAVRITE!1 XD" to your friends.
This happens completely without fanfare too, the pronoun switch is done within one sentence and the narrator never goes "oh you're a real person"; there's a whole other ending where the main point is the Narrator reaching that conclusion. But here there's no point, because to reach this dialogue in the first place, the writers know you must have already revealed yourself as a real person playing a video game, so he doesn't need to play coy.
Interestingly, the Broom Closet "Ending" is also one of the very few endings that "reward" you with a lasting effect beyond a restart: if you go back in the closet on the next restart, the Narrator flips out and leaves you without further dialogue. If you restart once more after that, you find the closet very amusingly boarded up. In the Ultra Deluxe bucket version, you get stickers that stay on the bucket for the rest of your save file.
Undertale's "Genocide" Route
I hope the parallels became clearer with my above explanation. The main commentary made about this route is that carrying it out requires the player to, again, detach themselves from emotional involvement in the story and characters (which is a lot more significant here than in TSP), and begin treating it as a mere video game, with XP to get, LV to gain, bosses to beat, and crucially, routes and events to exhaust.
The route is filled with comments that point toward this, and I don't know if it's really pertinent to list them all, so I'll just give a few illustrations.
Flowey puts this almost as explicitly as the Narrator. He recounts how once he got the power to SAVE, he initially still cared about the people of the underground, until that bored him and he started treating the Underground as a giant dialogue/story tree just to see what would happen.
Many characters comment on how the player is not really a human through the route. It's both a way of highlighting their in-universe cruelty and also a correct assessment that if you are motivated to see the route to its end, you've already given up on embodying an actual human within the story of the game, and that you're here to see what happens, to exhaust every path that had to be manually coded in by Toby Fox.
This is also the ending where the SAVE mechanic is the most explicitly discussed. It's still a thing in other routes, and still part of the story there, but it's no coincidence that Genocide draws attention to the video game mechanics you're using to treat Undertale as just a video game.
It is also, very famously, the ending of Undertale that permanently (short of messing with game files) affects your save files and "taints" any subsequent Pacifist endings. Just like TSP, it acknowledges you engaging with it as a video game, by giving you a ""reward"" that crosses over resets and restarts.
Similarly, I've seen people online frustrated with Genocide, interpreting it as Toby Fox putting himself on a moral high ground, admonishing the player's morality for being evil while playing the route. Just like in TSP, I think that's missing the point, and a disservice to the game's writing. I think the route is meant to make you feel bad, insofar as it tries to draw attention to how you remove yourself from caring emotionally about very endearing characters. But I don't think Toby Fox is over there moralizing players for playing a huge route he explicitly and painstakingly coded into his game.
The route makes you feel bad because these are characters you're supposed to care about, and because the grinding gameplay is boring as fuck (just like the broom closet). This is so you realize that your motivation for pursuing it lies outside of the story of the game, and within the fact that you are a real person playing an actual video game made by another person, as opposed to an interactive documentary of the Underground.
Most of this discussion carries over to Deltarune's Weird Route as well, whose discourse is wrought with terrible takes that miss this commentary. However this post has gotten long enough, maybe I'll make another one for it. thanks for reading all the way through
@bumpscosity
I had another dream about my ex last night. I broke up with her 8 months ago, so I'd love to stop thinking about her. I don't even wake up missing her or anything, just kind of annoyed at the idea of her.
the problem with the idea that we can bully cis men out of toxic masculinity is that toxic masculinity is fundamentally about bullying people seen as men into "proper" behavior. the patriarchy is absolutely in love with casual cruelty and shame as a way of modifying behavior. and whenever i see people trying to use toxic masculinity tactics but for feminist aims it makes me want to bite the walls. oh wow you are telling depressed boys that if they feel bad about themselves its all their fault for being a whiny bitch? are you also selling a $200 get rich quick scheme and sawdust supplements by any chance
I wrote this explanation for someone in the notes but I want to add it here:
i am saying that toxic masculinity functions through targeted and casual cruelty, especially in group settings, to coerce people seen as men into certain patriarchy-approved behavior. this shows up, for example, in the idea that men need to be tough, not emotional, rational, extremely capitalist, appropriately sexual. there is an idea that there is such a thing as “real men" and “fake men" and being a “fake man" is embarrassing, a moral failure, and a social death. my point is that people often use these ideas for feminist goals. for example, people who mock misogynistic men by saying they have small dicks and can't get laid and are lazy freeloaders. this is a case in which feminists are agreeing with the patriarchy: there ARE real men and fake men, it IS embarrassing and bad to be a fake man, and your manhood IS defined based on whether or not you are appropriately sexual and successful in capitalism. now, people don't always INTEND to agree with these ideas, but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, we might as well call it a duck. audre lorde famously said that “the master's house will never dismantle with the master's tools." by continuing to engage in toxic masculinity, feminists forgo our own ability to critique toxic masculinity and root out patriarchal ideas in our minds and systems. it also means that we fail to provide a meaningful alternative vision of gender to men, which is not beneficial to us in the slightest since inter-gender solidarity is vital for not just feminist goals but ALL liberation.
as @killeronmain said, “This is not about how people react to what you do, it's about what you're actually doing." I am also specifically talking about feminism as a form of social activism, not just Being A Woman. not all women are feminists and not all feminists are women, and identifying is (to me) about taking on the RESPONSIBILITY of advocating for gender liberation. Feminists are not bullying cis men by holding them accountable or critiquing their behavior as individuals or as a class. But when we DO engage in toxic masculinity style bullying, that is bad and unhelpful. I think part of the problem is that pop feminism is structured as such that it's less about theory or organization as it is a general vibe people adopt, and so there's a lot of stuff online that is vaguely feminist but also has the plausible deniability of being “just someone talking" so that way we cannot actually critique how certain trends are detrimental to feminist action.
it IS against the dominant narrative to reject toxic masculinity. rejecting toxic masculinity is not just “being nice to men," it's part of questioning and resisting the way patriarchy orders us to engage with gender and people in gendered ways. toxic masculinity isn't just a problem of cis men, we are ALL taught to engage in it just like we are ALL taught to engage in various misogynistic tools. we can be angry and critical of men AND refuse to engage with toxic masculinity when we are. feminists need ways of harnessing the frustration and pain of cis men into anti-patriarchal action. like it or not, feminism is the strongest anti-patriarchal force right now, so we need to be the ones being loud as fuck about how much we reject ALLLLL of toxic masculinity, not just the parts that affect women. even if there was a revival of the men's liberation movement, it would still need to be deeply intertwined with feminism and, again, we should not be using the master's tools. im not saying this to say we should beg chads and incels to care about women against their will; we need consciousness raising for cis men and i want a world in which young cis boys has a sense even just vaguely that feminism is For Them, and that they should be personally invested in resisting the patriarchy and the liberation of women and trans people. we need to model that another world where there is no such thing as a “fake man" is possible and already being formed. it is not every feminist’s obligation to focus their efforts on men's liberation, but it is every feminist's responsibility to not utilize patriarchal tools like toxic masculinity.
What if we kissed in the mechatronics gravel pit?
ok r y'all happy i went to my gmail and typed in 'is:unread older_than:100d' and mass deleted everything in that category and it deleted (literally) 65,000 emails.
is:unread older_than:30d
now everyone leave me alone
I got you!
DISCLAIMER: I figured out how to do this reading ancient forums, so if something goes terribly wrong, heed that warning.
Type the command into the regular email searchbar. I actually had so many emails, Gmail wasn't willing to mass-delete so many, so i actually started at 1800 days and moved down a couple hundred each time LOL. Anyway in this example I did '10' days because I'm almost out of emails.
Click the select box, which will only select the emails displayed on the first page of your search.
So click 'select all conversations that match this search.'
It'll tell you 'All conversations are selected.'
Hit that garbage can.
It'll ask if you're sure. Click 'ok.'
Assuming there's a lot of emails, they won't all delete at once, and you'll get this prompt:
Don't close the tab or go back to your inbox, or this won't happen. Open a new tab and do something else for a few minutes. After a couple (or 10) minutes, the emails will all move to your trash, and the page will be clear:
And don't forget to empty your trash!
Jenny Nicholson and Kevin Defunctland Purjerer are truly the Statler and Waldorf of the absolute muppet show that is Disneyland's management. Just there, pointing out every clearly avoidable and greed motivated flaw in every design choice Disney makes to their parks. For free.
This post is going around, which means one of these two just posted a 3+ hour video
Just walked past a guy walking a brick on a leash, and this girl had stopped and was bent down petting the brick.
derin it seems like the type of kitchen-disaster-trait you're afflicted with is very similar to mine. do you have any meals you like to make that only take around 30 minutes? for some reason all the recipes i try are written by people who are about twice as efficient as i am, and so i have to assume I'll need a whole hour. "cook stuff and freeze it" is a solid strategy, if i actually notice that the onions are about to go bad before suddenly they're squishy, I'll totally give that a try.
I buy everything frozen or canned that I reasonably can. Freezers and cans rarely fail me. Unless it's massively cheaper to buy fresh (like with potatoes and onions), it's all frozen, canned, powder, jars. Garlic comes in jars; it lasts forever and there's just Too Many Steps in fresh garlic. Same for chillis. Green veg is precut/shelled and bought frozen in bags. I stock up on canned tomatoes for soups and sauces and only use fresh in meals where it really matters (like salads). I also have a shelf of canned stews and baked beans and stuff; this is more expensive than making or freezing your own, but it's also a lot less work to prepare, and on days when it's simply Too Many Steps to heat up your freezer stew a canned stew will save you from spending five times as much on takeout.
One thing that being as disorganised as me cheats you from is the simple pleasure of sandwiches, because there's no point in buying a loaf of bread only to watch almost all of it go mouldy. I don't like freezing just bread because it affects the texture and sometimes the flavour of the bread (depending on bread and freezer) and dividing it into smaller freezable stacks and soforth just doesn't feel worth it for bread. My hack for this is to occasionally buy a loaf and some sliced ham and sliced cheese and mass produce hand and cheese sandwiches. You can chuck these in the freezer in paper bags inside a big box and so long as you have some kind of sandwich toaster or panini press or something you have a supply of mould-proof ham and cheese toasties. Any easily freezable sandwich ingredients will work and toasting the sandwich destroys any texture or moisture effects that would make the bread unappetising, they come out exactly like a fresh one.
You can cook rice in the microwave in about twelve minutes. It won't be fantastic rice, but it'll be an acceptable bulk item to put with curries or sauces or whatever. Don't bother with those tiny instant rice serves they're a waste of money, you can do this with bulk rice. Wash your rice (unless you like it gloopy), add 2-3 times the rice volume in water (2 is traditional but find the microwave makes the rice a bit dry this way), microwave on HIGH for 6 min, stir, microwave on HIGH another 6 min. Adjust water, salt and cooking time to your personal preference and your microwave.
Like canned stew, frozen party foods will save you. Get a big bag or party pies or dim sims or those little triangle things with curry in them, whatever your favourite is. 15-20 minutes in an air fryer (directions on the box) and these will fill you up without buying takeout. BUT be careful because these foods tend not to be very nutritious and tend to be pretty heavy, so it's easy to fall into a pattern of eating just these for weeks on end and neglecting your health. Same warning for instant noodles.
This isn't a recipe but if you have space for a herb garden, you should start one. Having fresh herbs to transform the taste of anything you eat into Think You Like is magical. There are a lot of hardy herbs that can be harvested at any time (though some herbs will go bitter if they bolt, so check before you buy them) so you don't need to worry about timing or organisation or freshness, just go and prune some whenever you need the herb. Herbs tend to be expensive so this can also save you money. Just plant what you like the taste of and the ones that do well in your garden will dominate it by themselves without all that much effort from you.
You can literally just eat ingredients. If you want. Like if you need to use up some cucumber you can just eat the cucumber. Sandwich meat doesn't have to go in a sandwich. If it doesn't feel classy enough, put your leftover ingredients on a chopping board and call it charcuterie.
Any vegetable that is about to go bad and is not yet bad can be chucked in a big ole bag in the freezer and boiled down into stock when you have enough. Don't boil rot or mould into your stock. I presumably don't have to outline why. This does take longer than 30 minutes but once you have the stock you can make soups pretty quickly if you feel the need. I slow cook them because I prefer to cook things I can walk away from and forget about without burning the house down, but you can just boil them instead and it's a lot faster.
Tip two cans of tomatoes into a pot, add salt and a lil dash of vinegar and some butter. Now put in whatever vegetables and spices you like the most. Bacon works well too (though you should use less salt if you use it). Boil it until everything in it is cooked. Congrats, you have a pasta sauce. (You can brown your brownables first if you want a good pasta sauce, but just boiling everything works if that's Too Many Steps.) A little alcohol will also improve the flavour of a tomato-based sauce but I can't advise on that because I don't cook with alcohol.
Any recipe that starts out expecting you to make your own pastry, you don't need to fuck with that part. Bought short crust or puff pastry will do fine. You're trying to fuel your body not win MasterChef.
This is a fiddly one that I'm sure everybody in the world except me will think is stupid but I swear I find it worth it. You know what tends to clump and become annoying to use really quickly? Brown sugar. You know what holds its texture and usability way, WAY longer than brown sugar? Its products -- white sugar and molasses. I keep a jar of molasses in my pantry and buy exclusively white sugar. If a recipe calls for "brown sugar" I just use white and add some molasses. Works perfectly fine and my sugar never gets clumpy and awful.
You mentioned the onions, so I'll explain the easy hands-off way to caramelise onions. Caramelising onions is a bitch of a chore that everyone whose ever had to do it by hand fucking hates to do. Fortunately, we don't have to do it by hand -- you can chop up all your onions, dump them in the slow cooker, and add butter You want enough butter to lightly cover the onions but no so much that it pools in the bottom and fries them. Leave it on the lowest setting for about 10-12 hours and every few hours come by to give them a bit of a stir to distribute the fat and help them cook evenly. Separate them into portions, let them cool and chuck them in the freezer. Now you can skip the "chop and brown the onions" step in every recipe with the far superior and richer caramelised onions.
I've known for ages that brown sugar is just white sugar and molasses, will bring it up as a fun fact, and yet never once has it occurred to me that I could just mix my own at home.
I feel like someone just showed me someone just showed me a magic trick.
You also get to choose how rich you want your brown sugar if you do this
It seems like the older I get, the more irrationally angry casual censorship makes me. And it isn't just the "unalive" "grape" alleged filter-dodging vernacular, but the way normal words will be peppered with asterisks, or screenshots will have words like "gay" "hell" "fuck" etc either partially or entirely blurred. Who is this helping? What is the purpose of it, except to reinforce shame and elevate a flimsy perception of purity and safety, however those things manifest. It's so tiresome and I'm sick of it.
Sure i’ll reblog that