if you are reading this i am Dead. i know that is very Sad and I am Sorry! I hope I died well. i have decided to write all this, in this specific Book, that will come to you if I Die (I think this is Right? i talked to the Ship about it. Long Story!) because I want to tell you both what happens to me! it is Family Tradition like Dad has always said!!! if I am Killed I want you to know what happened. i want you to know the truth of what happened, and not just what i Write in my Letters to you and the Family.
sorry, Mum and Dad, but I have decided not to Tell you everything in my Letters any more. I don’t want you to Worry about me - not the usual kind of Worry about being Eaten by a Dragon or Killed in a Tavern Brawl, those come with the territory like we have always said!!! but I think another kind of worry, about who i Am. there are things about the stories that I am telling to you that I don’t think I Like any more. it is getting harder and Harder to Write, knowing that you will Read my letters, and Think Things about me. so this is complicated! if you are reading This, then you are learning that my Letters have been Lies, and also that I am Dead. this is double bad news and I am very Sorry, if you are getting it. Plan A is not to die.
i am still working on plan A actually!!! mum and dad you know that Planning is not my strong suit. but here it is: when I came Home and there were all of the Devils? i did not feel Good about that. That Sucked. i was glad that i could Help and that I taught young Lejir the Spell to create Food (he is very good at Magics by the way, tell him that if he Works Hard one day he might be as Strong as the Wizard I travel with!) but Mum and Dad this is the problem: it is my Fault that those devils are out there. when I looked at their Writings i could Read them (and you both know i am not good at reading!!!!) they are Like Me.
the sword I gave to Dad, we took from some young Adventurers who were trying to Attack a Castle. it is a long story Mum and Dad they were doing their Best to be Good and we Killed them, I have to be honest here or what is the Point. the sword? it Hated me. it screamed when I Wielded it. it screamed because it is a Good sword. but I still made it Fight for me, because I needed to, I think? the World was falling apart. a lot of people Died. i don’t think Chult is there any more. that is My Fault. that is the fault of People like Me. and i cannot even Remember properly!!! what was I thinking mum and dad? NOT MUCH is what!!!!!
mum and dad the people I am travelling with are Brave and Strong. dr Nyx is now a Litch like she always Wanted and she is so strong! i have seen her beat so many Enemies! and Damacos, you should see his Magics, they are so powerful!!! i am not as Strong as either of them, which is why I wanted to Travel with them, to maybe Learn, and to bear witness to their Strength in Battle, like Kord would want! along the way we defeated many Enemies but I have always Trusted in Kord, who does not give Strength in Battle to those who do not Deserve it. each and every person must fight, every day, in order to be the best and strongest they can be! then when they fight for power, or influence, or to be Queen or Emperor, the one with the Strongest Heart will always Win! that always made sense to me. that was why I wanted to be a Paladin even though the Village Folk made fun of my Horns and my Skin and my Strange Eyes. because battle, and struggle, and fighting, it puts the World in Order!
mum and dad: both of my friends Died. they were defeated in battle Fair and Square, and they died. and mum and dad: i was Afraid. and I didn’t want them to be gone. so I brought them Back. and now the world is Like This. i don’t want to tell either of them because I Love them very Dearly but I am worried that maybe they belong dead.
(see this is the kind of thing I couldn’t write if i knew you would Read it while I was Alive! i don’t want you to Ever have to read any of this until I have Fixed it. so hopefully I will not die, Ha HA.)
mum and dad: i have heard so many Stories, on this journey. and not all of them have been about getting stronger, and defeating Enemies! some of them have been about defeating: Yourself. that is the story I want to tell in this Book. that is the story I want to tell to the World. and I am not very good at making things up, so it will have to be a story that is true.
but if I cannot do all That, it will be Plan B: I will Die, and you will know the Truth then, and know that I am Sorry, but you will see that at least I was Trying, and i died in the Struggle to be Better, and that Kord (and you all) will be Happy with that, and maybe not Proud of me exactly but at least Okay about me. and that is Something.
also
there is
the other
She
one more
there is still someone I can’t write about. i will try to be brave.
i love you with all my guts!
SYRA
