Muttley's Penthouse Letters

I'm Muttley. I've lived on the streets of Bombay, in a duplex, and now I've got me a sweet Penthouse bachelor pad. 2 doggie pals. 22 humans to see to my needs. I'm quite the dawg!

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

My buddy Karan leaves the Penthouse today.

SUCKS CLEAN BUNGHOLES!

Since he’s so handy with the guitar (the G String in particular), I decided to give an old tune a revamp. I mean it’s probably from before I was born, but I guess it’s a classic or something by now.

Hey man, stay cool. You rool.

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

Letters from the Penthouses

Letters. I like them.

I have a new pen pal who lives in a penthouse in far off Banjara Hills in Hyderabad.

I sent her a postcard ages ago, and didn’t get any reply. 

In sheer protest to her apparent inability to hold a pen, I didn’t invite her to my birthday party.

Turns out, she’s just lazy.

Vydika, you can come over for the next one.

Harroooooo my first letter!

I’M THRILLED YOU CAME WITH A MAILMAN TO BITE!

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

Happy birthday to me! And Pop! We both turn 28 in human years today. But no thanks. I’d rather be 4.

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

Not such a clean bill of health from the doc. First the bastard gives me a shot. Then he bans gluten from my diet. Here's the prescription he gave me to take home. Maybe I should eat it.

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

MUTLEY LAUGH

Mutley laugh

Even my laugh is famous.

#topdogproblems

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

My very own Pink Panther.

Humans, clearly this dog needs a bath?

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

The Beatles - Blackbird (Boyce Avenue acoustic cover) on Apple & Spotify

Tickets + VIP Meet & Greets: http://smarturl.it/BATour Apple: http://smarturl.it/ISV2Apple Spotify: http://smarturl.it/ISV2Spotify iTunes: http://smarturl.it...

Goodbye, Mrs K. So much love.

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

It’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been busy shufflin’. Every day.

I might need to do another take.

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

Who’s my Daddy! No, for real.

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

Three years and two days ago. #therepublic

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

Lights, Camera, No Action

It’s been a busy, busy month at the penthouse. 

I turned THREE. The pictures of the party were so hardcore, Tumblr pulled them down within minutes, but the awesomeness had already spread. Before I knew it, Steven Spanialberg had me on his casting couch with his roaming hands all over my tummy. I just had to say YES.

Here’s me starring in remakes of two of his most awesome movies. Except these will be better. Obviously.

ET - The Exciting Thingamajig

And:

PAWS - Puppies Add Wag Swag

Plato tried to get on the casting couch too. But it broke. He grudgingly shared his treats with Spanialberg though, and scored supporting rolls in both films.

You can’t believe the attention we have been getting. If only I had the balls to get on top of the action.

Bloody castration-crazy humans.

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

Supermutt The Scuttlebutt

There I was, thinking about actually catching that bloody squirrel and getting the minions to make me some squirrel tail soup

When suddenly, there was danger in the air. And tyres on the carpet.

It was time for - wait for it - Supermutt The Scuttlebutt!

Faster than the human eye could see, I tanned the blasted car till the blue paint job turned red with pain, and I took care of the ugly shape and turned it into a Mustang. It screamed in the same pitch of a 7-year-old girl, so I called it Sally.

Then he got bad-tyre-guy help. That’s when I really saw red. I gave the battle cry, “Down with rubber, bitches!” And then KABOOM.

You can visit them on Saturdays between 10:30 am and 12 pm in car prison.

All in all, a good day’s work. Yawn!

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

Hug for Hugo. And a butt-sniff.

Hugo, thanks for sharing your peanut butter treats! Plato and I loved them. Mum and her friends tried them and made stupid faces, but then they have no taste for ants and bugs either. They’re dumb. You’re a star!

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

Two more strange looking creatures to chase at The Republic. Plato is absolutely besides himself with joy - hump mates! We decided to get a little frisky on the terrace to get the party started. The bum sniffing comes later.

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

Who’s Chicken?

Chicken at the Vet’s

Being chicken at the Vet’s

I swear I’d have pissed if I’d worn pants.

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

25 years today! Dr. Seuss' "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" has gone places.

On that cue, I'm going for lunch.

[lettersfromthepenthouse]

Soaked, not stoked

I have noticed the People have a strange addiction to water. Washing their hands before eating food with a fork, washing a perfectly well-scraped plate, washing their face after I've just slobbered some bum-lick-spit on it. And if that wasn't bad enough, they washed my face too.

If only the humiliation had stopped there.

Shampoo on my tummy, suds on my butt and their germ-free hands everywhere. Carelessly washing away all the dirt I had carefully gathered, without a second's regard for how many hours it had taken me to find the dustiest spots to roll in and the muddy patches to sprawl in.

The brown spot on my paw that used to be Phil is gone, and the fleas Johnny, Bea, and Gouda have cancelled their plans to visit. What happened to My House, My Rules?

I smell pretty.