ｌｅｔｔｕｃｅａｎｄｃａｒｒｏｔｓ　益ノス

I sold my soul for a marbled cake, and I don't regret it. Those bitches are t a s t y.

[lettuceandcarrots]

Lydia: Damn, Adam, are you secretly cool? Adam: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool. Lydia: I do not.

[litttleprincess-deactivated2017]

When you see it, REBLOG IT.

[32-kgs]

Depression Hotline: [phone]

Suicide Hotline: [phone]

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: [phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

If you ever want to talk: My Tumblr ask is always open.

[lettuceandcarrots]

Delia: I typed up your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you may have network connectivity problems.

[lettuceandcarrots]

Delia: Is 4 a lot? Lydia: Depends on the context. Berries? No. Murders? Yes.

[lettuceandcarrots]

Charles: You go big or you go home. And you don’t seem like the kind of person that goes home. Beetlejuice: I’m not. I don’t even really have a home.

[lettuceandcarrots]

Bruce: [walking through the manor. Stops in front of the door to one of the guest rooms because he can hear voices and music inside]

Bruce: [opens the door to see Stephanie, Cass, Harper, and Babs lounging around the room to the tunes of Taylor Swift]

Steph: [sitting on the bed, putting on eyeliner] Hi Bruce what's up?

Bruce: I... didn't know you were here.

Babs: [with an avocado face mask on, sipping mimosa through a straw] it's the best place for girl's night

Harper: [doing Cass' hair but stopping to drink her margarita every few seconds] we can all have our own bathroom

Cass: [soaking her nails in oil] Jacuzzi

Bruce:

Bruce: Why aren't you in Cassandra's room?

Steph: [moving on to mascara] vicinity to the pool

Bruce: oh

Bruce: Well, as long as you're staying safe-

Babs: what kind of danger could we possibly be in?

Bruce:

Bruce: [serious] I'm going to level with you. I am an only child and I mostly raised boys. I have no idea how to parent in this situation, and when that happens I just say "well, as long as you're staying safe" and hope for the best.

Babs: [thoughtful] That explains a lot of Dick's fashion choices

Steph: You know it's fine to just leave, right?

Harper: It IS girl's night

Cass: No boys allowed

Bruce: [relieved] Ok.

Babs: Why are you here anyway?

Bruce: I heard the noise when I was looking for Tim-

Tim: [pops up from behind the bed with his hair braided and a full face of make-up] yeah?

Bruce:

Bruce: what

Tim: [waves a bottle of nail polish] I'm doing my toes

Bruce:

Bruce: Well, as long as you're staying safe-

[totallycorrect-beetlejuice]

Juno: *berating and yelling at Betelgeuse while everyone watches*

Charles: Hey Lydia?

Lydia: Yeah?

Charles: You're a good kid.

Lydia: Oh.. Thanks?

[lettuceandcarrots]

Beetlejuice: VIBE CHECK! -drops an anvil on top of someone's head-

[graduate-of-juilliard]

We finally got this scene in high quality ive never felt more alive

[lettuceandcarrots]

Delia: What's wrong with you? Lydia: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

[anothertimdrakestan]

clark: i like to think i have an excellent gaydar if i do say so myself

conner: no you don't. also that's a stupid idea made to stereotype lgbtq people

clark: no i-

tim: he's right. youre even so super-oblivious you missed the fact that we've been dating for two years

bruce: *spits water* CLARK YOU DIDNT KNOW?!? IVE BEEN SENDING THEM TO YOUR PLACE FOR MONTHS

clark: NO! WHAT HAPPENED DURING THOSE SLEEPOVERS?!?

[lettuceandcarrots]

Delia: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think. Lydia: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

"don't speak ill of the dead" don't be a piece of shit before you die.

[diaryofadreamercomic]

page 1-3

Story about Ash a girl with maladaptive dayreaming

[madd-lifestyle]

me: ok daydream time :)

my grades: but wait-

me: I said. Day. Dream. Time.

[lettuceandcarrots]

Beetlejuice: So what do you have planned for the future? Adam: Lunch. Beetlejuice: No, like long term. Adam: Oh...um, dinner?

[lettuceandcarrots]

Jason: So, you infiltrate the party and get the intel

Steph: You mean flirt with Kowalczyk

Jason: Well, yeah

Steph: [crossing her arms] why am I always the one who has to slip into a tight little dress and high heels and flirt with the target? It's sexist!

Jason: ...you're good at it?

Steph: no, you know what? Kowalczyk is bi, so YOU flirt the info out of him.

Jason:

Jason: FINE

-Later that Week-

Bruce: Ok, but why did you wear Stephanie's outfit to do it?

Jason and Steph: [glances at one another]

Jason: [crossly] That's beside the point. What I want to know is why you taught me to drive a locomotive from the 1930's but your "training" never involved teaching me to fight in stilettos.

Bruce:

-Later that Month-

Damian: [wobbling around the batcave in 4 inch wedges] WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DO THIS FATHER?

Bruce: [eyes narrowed] I'm preparing you for battle