I'm not a monster

AGE: TWENTY FIVE OCCUPATION: UNEMPLOYED BIRTHPLACE: BEIJING, CHINA RETURNED: JAN, 28TH, 2016 AFTER 8 YEARS GONE

[vchaneul-deactivated20191226]

Carter shook his head. His fatherly instinct had kicked in and all he wanted to do was help Levi. “I don’t mind. I just want to make sure that you’re going to get the help that you need. Parker will be alright. He won’t understand what’s going on. My car is right there.” He pointed at the Charger that was parked near by. He walked him over to the car and leaned him against it. “Let me grab a something to put on the seat so there’s no blood and I’ll help you in.” Running over to his trunk, he opened it and pulled out an old blanket. He closed the trunk and put the blanket on the front seat and let the seat back as far as it would go. “Come on, be careful.” He said, helping him to lay back in the seat. Carter buckled him in and closed the floor before getting in on his side and starting the car. “Try to stay awake, okay?”

[levi-lei]

Levi felt embarrassment seep in. He hated having to rely on anyone else. All his life, he’d had no one to look out for him, but himself, so accepting the help, wasn’t easy. Particularly when he was wary of others intentions. He barely knew Carter, but the man had a son and that had to count for something. Surely. Helped to the car, he nodded and rested his forehead against the back window as silent tears rolled down his cheeks. He was in agony and humiliated. Remaining in Brighton was no longer an option. Word would get out he was back and he’d be as good as dead anyway. “Thanks...” he whispered shakily when the other returned to help him into the seat. He lay down, being mindful of his sore leg and favoured his ribs as his eyes fell shut and more tears escaped. “I will.”

[vchaneul-deactivated20191226]

Carter almost fell when the other lost his balance. “Where should I take you? Do you want to go to a different hospital? I have a car. I can take you. We’d just have to pick up my son first. I don’t really want to just drop you off at home. That wouldn’t be safe for you.”

[levi-lei]

Clutching onto the others shoulders, Levi grit his teeth against the pain, surging along his entire frame. He was sure something else was broken, but he didn’t want to focus on that. He had to do one thing at a time and listening to Carter’s words, took priority. “I... could you, yeah? I think I need to go to hospital. I hate bothering you though... and I don’t know if your son should see someone like this...” 

[vchaneul-deactivated20191226]

“Oh.” Carter wasn’t sure why anyone would want to hurt Levi. He didn’t seem like a bad person. Granted, they’d only had one conversation. He was a bit intrusive but it was nothing that Carter couldn’t deal with. “Yeah, I’ll help you.” there was no way that he could say no when he looked at him that way. Was it even fair for a man to be that cute? Standing up, Carter lifted him to a standing position. “Lean against me, okay?”

[levi-lei]

Relief flooded through him like a tidal wave and as soon as he was granted help, he clutched to the other like a lifeline and stumbled on shaky legs to his feet. A loud exclamation of pain tore from his throat and he fell into the others side when his leg gave out under his weight. It was definitely broken, there was no doubt in his mind. Tears streamed down his cheeks in a torrent and he flicked his gaze to Carters, a soft apology falling from his lips. “I think it’s busted...” 

[msaintpost-blog]

Maddie nodded and grabbed her purse quickly. “The shop is just up the street, sit down… i’ll be right back I swear.” She knew that leaving her stuff behind could result in it being stolen, but the boy didn’t seem to want to go anywhere. She’d rushed down the sidewalk into a near by shop and came back only a couple minutes later. Maddie ordered the biggest hot chocolate she could, “One hot chocolate…” she said, handing it to him, “And a huge cookie for you as well.” She pointed out, holding up the wrapped sweet in a paper bag in the other. Maddie just hoped he was going to be aright, “What happened…?”

[levi-lei]

Levi slumped against the wall as soon the woman ran off. His head was pounding and he had to fight against a wave of nausea that he was pretty sure meant he’d suffered a concussion. He’d had plenty in the past anyway and he’d survived them without the aid of hospital care, so figured he’d be okay. When he heard the other return, he opened his eyes slowly and took the cup from her with shaking hands, smiling faintly around a split lip and shaking his head. “Thanks, but no cookie for me. I don’t eat sugary foods.” 

[vchaneul-deactivated20191226]

Carter sat beside him and looked over his body. He knew this wasn’t from a simple fall. “you’re no bother and you don’t have to lie to me.” He sighed. “You don’t have to tell me what happened. Just let me help you. It looks like your leg is pretty messed up.” Carter leaned closer and knew that the other was probably in a lot of pain. “I can take you to the hospital.”

[levi-lei]

Swallowing hard, Levi shook his head and barely suppressed the whine, threatening to escape as pain laced up his spine with the simple action. “I... can’t go there... someone who hates me, works there. They’d rather inject me with plain air into a vein than help me. I think my leg is broken, but... I’m sure I can get up if you help me.” He held both arms out towards the other and gave him a pleading look that had he been uninjured, he’d never have given Carter. 

[msaintpost-blog]

Maddie had quickly noticed that he was cold and set down her things quickly to unwrap her scarf from around her neck. “I’m perfectly fine, i’m used to tripping over myself.” Without any hesitation she wrapped the large scarf around his neck, hoping it would give him a bit of warmth. “You honestly look freezing and horrid… please just– just let me get you a cup of hot chocolate or something… I can’t just leave you out here like this…”

[levi-lei]

Levi had a feeling the woman wouldn’t relent until he’d at least accepted some of her help, so with more than a smidgen of hesitance, he bobbed his head faintly and allowed her to wind the scarf around his neck. He was more worried about bleeding on the soft cotton, than he was his own wounds. It looked expensive and with a tendency to ruin everything he touched, he’d rather avoid upsetting this woman, she seemed nice. “Uh... okay. Hot chocolate, I... I’ll wait here.” 

[vchaneul-deactivated20191226]

Carter had just left the shop, in dire need of a few toiletries. He almost jumped out of his skin when he noticed Levi sitting on the ground. He hadn’t spoken much to the other man but he was still worried, nonetheless. “Levi…” He crouched down and looked at the other man. “Are you okay? Do you need help?” He looked over him. “Did someone hurt you?” His hand hovered over his leg but he pulled it back, not wanting to hurt him. 

[levi-lei]

He heard his name in a familiar voice and immediately lifted his head to meet the other males eyes. He remembered him, they’d spoken once before and that suddenly made the entire thing all the more humiliating. Wiping hastily at his eyes and only serving to smear more of the blood and dirt onto his cheeks, Levi nodded vehemently and tried to ignore the way his chin quivered. “I’m okay... no, I... I fell. I wasn’t paying attention.” It was a blatant lie. The grazes on his cheeks, chin and forehead, spoke of another tale entirely. “Sorry... I’m so clumsy. Don’t mean to bother you any...” 

[msaintpost-blog]

Madeline had been rushing through the streets of Brighton all day. Had she been in a bigger town she was sure her legs would of fallen off. Of course, she didn’t mind much.. picking up things for her mother and all. She’d do whatever she was told. Maddie rushed out of the doors of the shop, when she managed to trip over her own two feet. Luckily nothing fell out of her purse, When she managed to stand up once more, she noticed Levi standing there. “Are– are you alright?” She asked, her voice filled with concern, “You– you look horribly down…”

[levi-lei]

Levi watched in abject horror as the woman fell towards the pavement and as much as his own body ached, he couldn’t sit back and do nothing while someone smashed their face into the curb. Just as he sat up and lunged forward to offer some kind of aid, the woman caught herself on her hands and the relief that washed through him, stole the breath from his lips. “A-are you okay?” he asked in a shaky voice, his arms sliding around his own body to try and warm himself up a little. “I’m okay... don’t worry about me.” 

[meiren-menglu]

[levi-lei]

Levi rarely found himself in situations where he felt completely lost these days, but that’s exactly the position he was faced with after a trip to the store, closest to the home where he currently resided. His skin burned everywhere he’d found himself skidding across the harsh gravel of the sidewalk and he was fairly certain he had a black eye, he could barely see. His chest burned with unshed tears and he wanted nothing more than to vanish with the night air, feeling completely broken. Being accosted by his ex’s friends whilst out shopping, hadn’t been the kind of harrowing event, Levi planned on encountering that evening, but with nowhere to run, he had no choice but to face the music. The beating was nothing compared to what would happen to him should he meet with his “victims” family members however, so he supposed he got off lucky. That’s not exactly how he felt, slumped against the outer wall of the shop, trying to hide from passing residents. He could do without the humiliation. He looked a mess and he could barely walk, he was pretty sure his leg was broken and even though he fought against them, the tears fell anyway. The internal pain hurt far worse than any abrasions ever could 

[n-carver-blog]

Just coke? Noah wanted to audibly groan. He was never one to judge anyone on their life choices, but at the same time… he couldn’t help himself. “I left that in my past life.” He said, pressing the elevator about 10 times. Talking about it made him a bit tense, “To many L.A. parties. To much getting fucked up. Pretty sure if I got fucked up again my dad would of flown out and slapped me upside the head.” The doors opened and he stepped inside, looking back at Levi, “But i’ve done it once or twice before…. in my past life.” 

[levi-lei]

Levi watched the other male intently. There was definitely something about this guy that both intrigued Levi and made him nervous. He couldn’t tell if the other knew about his past or not, and he was almost afraid to find out. Perhaps going alone to his room, wasn’t the best of ideas, but since when did Levi ever have good ideas? “You want to have some with me, tonight? I mean, you don’t have to, but it’s a pretty good way to forget your shit, as you seem to know already.” 

[nahivy]

Ivy associated Levi with what she supposed were the best years of her life. She had little recollection of them, but what she recalled was far better than any of her other clear memories (and they were clear as day). Although that portion of her life had continued to be just another part of the domino effect, that was around the time the trail reached the dominoes that she, herself, had placed. She was in control then, and, in spite of her phlegmatic exterior, control had become very important to her. Unfortunately, she’d sought control in the most terrifying of places; places that shadows lurked and demons came to play.

“Shit – shit, sorry, yeah,” she responded, shaking her head. Names weren’t easy for her to place either; she was to assume that the heavier drug abuse simply added to the inability. In her addled state of mind, she also assumed she was better off risking her own life on a myriad of dangerous substances – everything from heroin to oxy – than venturing out while… not sober (that would be nearly impossible), but not damn near flying either. In a twisted way, she believed she was a safer person to be around when she was hopped up on more than one or two drugs, but it was quite the game of Russian Roulette that she was playing. “Yeah?” she prompted, continuing to walk down to the end of the bar. “What is it?” She could assume what it’d be, but she’d prefer not to.

[levi-lei]

Levi kept his gait slow and measured as he scanned the bar area, prepared for any unexpected and rather unwelcome signs of trouble. He’d been in holes like the one they’d currently taken up residence in before and things usually took a turn for the downright dangerous before the evening was even halfway done. He’d rather be safe than sorry. That being said, his time in prison taught him a lot and how to handle himself well was one of those things. He was confident in his abilities to defend himself well, Ivy too if need be, much unlike before his sentence began when he was little more than a punch bag for a psychopath. Times had changed and so had Levi. He was much less trusting now than ever before. 

A ghost of a smile slid over his lips as Levi sank down into a booth seat, keeping his back to the far wall and bringing his legs up onto the fabric of the chair to both situate himself comfortably and keep an eye on the other patrons. If prison had taught him anything at all, it was never turn your back on others, particularly when in a potentially explosive environment. “I saw your dear old dad, inside. He’s pretty fucking nuts, gotta be real. Spouting shit from the bible and rambling about Jesus to anyone that would listen. He’s a complete fuck nut. Blown a gasket or two along the way, gotta tell you.” 

[nahivy]

Ivy had been to the shady bar three times already, this trip being her fourth. She’d gone that afternoon, the night before, and the previous afternoon; if she was going to survive the Vegas trip, she’d have to find a way to be more intoxicated than she’d ever been before (ironic, isn’t it?). That was another positive aspect of going to bars such as this. When one entered a bar filled with stepford smiling more than once a day, they were easily criticized; when one entered a bar like this one more than once a day, no one seemed to pay them any extra mind.

As her counterpart began to speak while she… really while she continued letting Clyde objectify her up until he let them in, she realized just who he was. She’d always been far better at placing voices than faces, more in-tune to auditory sensation than visual. She recalled the couple years the two had spent together, primarily a time filled with drug-addled minds (then again, when wasn’t hers at the very least?); she also recalled his conviction. She knew his heart was existent, she knew he wasn’t exactly what the public made him seem. “Shit, Max, yeah?” Yes, Ivy. In spite of her fair knowledge of him, however, she had to wonder just how much jail had changed him and, more importantly in her mind, just who he’d come across.

[levi-lei]

Raising a curious brow, Levi cocked his head to the side and studied the face of his old companion. A rush of memories flooded through his mind all at once. The copious drug consumption, the partying and the reckless behaviour, they had been some of the best and most honest days of his life. Before he met his ex, life was hard, but he had an escape. After that of course, he was trapped inside their small, minimalistic home, desperate to get out into the world and make something of himself. Then his ex lover chose the time he was feeling most adventurous to abuse him with more persistence. It didn’t take long for the burning words to scold and scar, leaving him very aware of each and every one of his downfalls in life. 

Looking into the woman’s eyes, he shook his head slowly and pointed at his chest, “Levi,” he corrected and stepped past the burly bouncer and into the bar. He was happy to be meeting with a familiar face that was welcoming. The intense fear of running into his “victims” family in Brighton, terrified the very life out of him. He wasn’t quite yet ready to face that kind of music. His reverie dragged him back to a sudden memory; Ivy’s father in prison. He’d met the man in all his God bothering glory whilst serving out his sentence. “Oh hey, I have something to tell you,” he spoke out, following the woman deeper inside the bar. 

[n-carver-blog]

Noah shrugged at that. Deep down he would care, really. Then again this was Vegas and no one cared. “Wouldn’t want them to think something bad was going down…. like say.. drugs or murder.” He said, looking back at the other boy, hoping he would catch on to the joke.

[levi-lei]

Levi gave the other male a curious once over. That was twice now he’d mentioned murder, the blonde started to wonder if perhaps the other male knew of his crime. “I have drugs, if you do them? It’s just coke, but it’s good shit,” he called out and hurried after the other. 

[levi-lei]

I’m currently going over lists on the main and ensuring it all matches up and my current laptop is slow af, I would like to apologise for not being on my character accounts, I will get to them all today, I promise. Faster too, since NEW LAPTOP! You have no idea how relieved I am to finally be back with a decent laptop. Just letting you guys know that I love you and haven’t forgotten about you all! That being said, anyone wants to plot with my muses, hmu!  Oh, and also, I have an idea for a muse that would kind of stir shit up around here, a lot. And I so wanna join as them... But... I have so many already! Ugh, too many muses and too little time! ♥

[nahivy]

@levi-lei

Despite Vegas’s vast number of bars and casinos, Ivy had found herself winding up in the same rundown bar every single time she so much as left the hotel thus far. It was a hole-in-the-wall kind of joint, the kind where everybody seemed ready to either start a bar fight or lament to the bartenders who had to pretend to care, pretend they could offer sound advice. It had far more personality than any high-class bar, however – any bar where those clad in pearls and neckties sat and bought champagne, cheers-ing the night away. It was real.

However, in spite of Vegas’s ‘party and don’t give a shit’ attitude, they still seemed to be far too invested in making sure everybody was of legal age to drink and gamble. They were fine with letting their plain and simple yet, in most locations, illegal brothels slide, but drinking at age twenty? No. Such a fact was only further proven when she walked within the perimeter of that same bar and witnessed a face she could almost place, berated for being ‘a minor.’ Ah, how the poor man needed a hero. She recognized the bouncer from the night before, his animal eyes, and walked towards the two. “He’s legal, Clyde. Let it slide,” she spoke, not allowing her eyes to stray from the bouncer’s* (*Clyde’s) own until he complied.

[levi-lei]

Levi had spent the last two hours locked in his room, consuming half the minibar and trying to avoid everyone. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with other people’s shit, he wasn’t nearly high enough for that and the lack of stimulant thrumming through his veins began to wear on him. Sobriety did not suit Levi. It changed his personality, made him crankier at first then generally nicer and when he found himself of a convivial nature, he wanted to punch himself in the face. He didn’t want to care. Could do without the pressures it brought.

After mulling over his options, Levi opted to leave the room in search a rundown bar where the drugs flowed freely and no one questioned your motives. He needed an escape and sauntering down a small alleyway, beckoned in that particular direction by the bright neon blue sign above an old rickety wooden door, Levi approached a burly bouncer whose head was the size of a damn basketball. The man had arms bigger than the entirety of Levi’s frame. When he turned beady eyes on the blonde, Levi stood his ground and levelled a glare on the man whilst he challenged his age. Just as he was about to retort in a less than kind manner, a voice from the past, stirring many memories and mainly pleasant ones at that, tore him from his intended tirade. “Ivy?” he asked, looking wide-eyed and shocked at the familiar face of the woman.

[n-carver-blog]

“Rumor has it we have room mate’s. Mine hasn’t turned up or whatever at least I haven’t seen ‘em. Think they’ll get mad if we get drunk in my room?”

[levi-lei]

“Yeah, I haven’t seen mine either, but I’d rather go to your room. Do you care if they do? Lead the way, man.”