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levi: ive got the best joke ever i swear

levi: knock knock !!!!!

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wtvrcameron:

“ an annoying one, why did she run away? huh? are you treating her wrong? nah i was sitting outside and please i’m not that bad of a person. i have her tied to a chair, does that count for my good dead of the day? “

"shut up, she’s not annoying, you know you love her. hey! i am a great owner! wait-- what? you tied my kitten to a chair? what the heck, man? are you mad or something?”

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jettharts:

“You can worship the ground I walk on after we’ve found your cat. We should probably start from where you saw her last, and then work our way out from there. You got your phone on you? Might be useful in case someone calls you while we’re searching.”

"I wouldn’t say worship, I’m just grateful, stop making it out to be a bad thing. Uh, see that tree over there? We were just chillin’ under it, yeah? Of course I do, I’m not gonna lose my cat and my phone, I would cry.”

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monajpg:

“How do you not know that you’re really not supposed to let a cat loose. They’re independent by nature, of course she’s going to want to go off and do her own thing. She’ll come back when she needs something, because she knows you’re going to give it to her. Nothing to worry about.”

“I didn’t think she could run so fast on her tiny legs! Alright, alright, I’ll never take her outside again, fine. Uh, I don’t know-- I’ve had her only for a few days, so. She may not remember me.”

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jordcns:

❝my head out my butt? if you were a small child, that would be cute. but you’re not. therefore it isn’t. words need to stop coming out of your mouth.❞

“wow, your observing skills are incredible! thank you for telling me i’m not a child-- something i clearly couldn’t realise on my own through my twenty years of living. what would i do without you? oh yeah, have a nice day, probably.”

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laurapng:

“Yeah, you’re known to let things slip away from you, aren’t you? I’m sure you’ll find her around here somewhere though, put her favorite food as bait if it comes down to it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Yeah-- I’ll do that, yeah, okay. Thanks for the help, I guess.”

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chellefk:

“Sorry! Can’t hear you over the fact that you lost the cat.”

"Really mature, honestly. You’re not ten years old, are you?”

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monajpg:

Ok, so you didn’t keep a tight hold of your cat? While you were out? When you clearly know how distracted your cat can get. I mean, no offense or anything but you probably deserve it. Teach you a lesson. Keep an eye on your animals. 

“How was I supposed to know? I’ve never had a cat until now! I didn’t think she’d bite me and run off, you know. I trust her, is that bad? Yeah-- Offence taken. I did keep an eye on her, I just wasn’t ready for that.”

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jordcns:

❝’stop being ugly’ why don’t you go fuck yourself and take your precious little feelings with you. i don’t give a shit about your happiness, especially since you’re stepping on mine.❞

"excusez-moi? i haven’t even done anything to you, i just asked if you’d seen my cat and you started telling me how you would kill her-- so, please, get your head of out your butt, yeah? it’ll do all of us some good.”

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fmlsloane:

“but i was planning to return her to her rightful owner, not make off with her. now that would have been stealing. oh, it’s fine, really! i’m happy to help.”

“so, like-- can we say you borrowed her? did she-- she didn’t cause any trouble, right? i’m sorry if she did, i’m still trying to teach her not to pee on beds.”

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monajpg:

“I mean, if it fills the void then sure. I’m sure she’ll be fine. If she ran away it was obviously because she wanted to get out clearly. She’ll be fine. Enjoy the great outdoors. She’ll come back when she runs out of food or money.” 

“We were out! She probably just saw kids or a fly or a bird, even! She’s not a rebellious teenager, are you high? She’s just a kitten! She needs to be protected, okay?”

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jettharts:

“Well, then why don’t we go look some more? She could be in a tree, or maybe you missed her. I mean, worst case scenario, someone found her and picked her up. She have a collar?”

"We? As in, you’re going to help? Dude, you’re a lifesaver, Christ. I really hope not, she gets scared easily. Uh-- Yeah, it’s, like, baby blue, I think? With my phone number, in case-- In case this happened.”

[love-personal]

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jettharts:

“So she’s not an outdoor cat then? Maybe she’s just gotten stuck in a tree or something. Where haven’t you looked?”

"No, she’s just eleven weeks old, I wouldn’t let her outside alone. Yeah, maybe. Uh, I’ve looked around the building and in the park across the street-- I haven’t thought about trees, though.”

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jettharts:

“A kitten? Nope. No. Don’t think so. How long’s it been since you saw her?”

"Uh, I don’t know. Half an hour, maybe? Something ‘round that, yeah. It’s just-- She’s never been gone for more than five minutes, y’know. So, I’m kinda scared.”

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jordcns:

❝well kid, you can chat away all you like. i’m all here for animals and trust me i’m a huge advocate, but cat’s are tiny balls of satan and need to be stopped. go have a nice chat about that.❞

"she’s just a kitten! you’ve never even seen her, stop being ugly. she’s just a tiny, furry ball of happiness-- my happiness, so please think twice about harming her.”

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jordcns:

❝given as i’m allergic, i haven’t been looking, and therefore if i do find it, i’ll run it over with my car.❞

"what the heck? no, you won’t! you can’t kill my kitten, i will fight you, i swear to god. you just touch her and we’ll have to have a nice chat.”