hello, i am here to ruin everything with a small angst drabble i wrote for the āfamilyā prompt for leviweek and also to break in my new bluetooth keyboard i got for my phone so that i could once again write fic at work. itās a nice little keyboard, iāve got to say. very pleased.
and now, without futher ado, have just under 900 words of sads.
warnings: angst, canon character death, depression. itās one of those little canonverse drabbles i sometimes like to do to fill in the plot.
spoilers if you donāt read the manga/havenāt read past ch. 69
āMomma, wake up,ā Levi whispered, shaking her shoulder gently. Nothing happened, so he tried it again, a little more urgently. It was the third day his mother hadnāt gotten out of bed, but only the second she hadnāt woken up. Maybe sheās just really tired, he thought, she does work very hard for us.
He had a sinking feeling that this wasnāt the case, but at barely five years old death was still a mostly abstract concept to him. Nevertheless, a voice in the back of his mind supplied this possibility. Sheās probably dead. Whatever that meant. She had to wake up, right? She had to earn their keep, he knew that much; heād heard her say that so many times.
Sharp rapping on the door snapped him back to reality; it was the brothel owner. āOlympia, yāstill sick?ā he asked through the door. Levi didnāt know what to do, so he coughed and let out a weak moan; the owner seemed to accept that.
āYer a favorite around here, so Iāll give ya a few more days, yāhear?ā he called. A few moments passed and Levi heard footsteps retreating back towards the main building. He shook Kuchel again in earnest.
āMomma, you gotta wake up,ā he begged, panic evident at the edges of his voice. He didnāt know how to find food. He didnātā¦ he didnāt know what would happen to themā to him. His stomach rumbled loudly, but he knew there wasnāt anything to eat in the small, ratty apartment, as heād eaten what little was left the day before. He supposed he couldāve asked one of their neighbors for something, the other women here generally seemed to think he was cute and they were often nice, but heād never spoken to them without his mother and the prospect of doing so was utterly terrifying.
He was scared and he was alone. He did the only thing he could manage; he curled up against his motherās cold body and tried to sleep through the hunger pangs, through the dread that was settling over him both familiar and alien. Tears stung the corners of his eyes and he sobbed quietly, wishing his mother would wake up and everything would be like it had been. Itād been a short life, but she had tried to make it as good as possible for him and itās not like he really knew anything else. He cried and cried until sleep took him, but it was troubled and restless.
Another day came and went, and Levi didnāt have the energy to do anything, so he continued to lay next to his motherās hardened, cold body. Time seemed to crawl by and a strange numbness settled over him; it was a strange feeling, like he didnāt have any feelings anymore. Heād somewhat accepted that Kuchel wouldnāt wake up, that being dead was apparently permanent, and he vaguely wondered how long itād be until he joined her. It didnāt seem quite so badā¦ at least he wouldnāt have to suffer anymore. He felt so empty, both physically and emotionally and the prospect of doing anything besides lying there seemed so utterly paramountā¦ and so pointless. Ā
After a certain point, he lost track of time. His stomach gurgled at not having been filled for so many consecutive days, it hurtā¦ but he couldnāt find the energy to even get up. Heād apparently used the last of it when he had moved from his motherās cold embrace to the floor; she was starting to smell weird.
A sudden rattling at the door ripped him from his anguish. Was it the brothel owner? The door creaked open and a strange man he didnāt recognize entered; he was slim and wore a hat and something about his face seemed familiar, but he couldnāt quite place what it was. The man said something but didnāt seem to notice his presence and walked to the bed where Kuchelās lifeless body lay.
āSheās dead.ā Levi surprised himself when he said it. He wasnāt saying it so much for the man as for himself. Hearing it aloud was like some sort of closure, and it finally sunk in. His motherā¦ was gone. She was never waking up.
āAnd you, you alive?ā the manās biting tone snapped him from his realization, āHey, heyā¦ you can understand me, right? Whatās your name?ā
āLevi,ā he replied with a listless, blank stare, āJustā¦ Levi.ā The man made some comment about names and introduced himself as Kenny, saying he was an acquaintance of his motherās. Levi idly wondered if he had been one of her customers, whatever that had meant. The man sat down opposite of him, muttering to himself, though Levi mainly just ignored it.
āListen, bratā¦ Iā Iām probably the worst for it, but whatever. I canātā¦ just leave a kid like you alone to waste away, so Iāll take care of you for a while,ā Kenny scratched the back of his neck and craned his head towards the corpse on the bed, āKuchel, Iām doing this for you, yāhear?ā
He didnāt have anything or anyone else, he literally had nothing to lose. āOkay,ā Levi answered weakly. A warm feeling fluttered in his chest, something he was sure was called āhope.ā
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