A reminder that darker fiction has a right to exist and explore themes that people are uncomfortable with. Yes, even if it's romanticized. Yes, even if you personally don't like it.
Authors have always written about things that they don't agree with morally, and I hope to god they always will, despite how shitty people treat them for doing that now.
heres my yaoi ive cooked up in that time. UNIFINSHED
"Let me take you out for dinner." Theo makes that hidden-intention smile, closed lips and unchanged eyes.
His heart skips a beat, both intimidation and giddy excitement that shouldn't be there mixing in his gut.
Such a shame Kiran was a weak, weak man.
"O-okay."
"Good. You're free tonight, yes? Tell the band you're not feeling well."
The rational, in best-interest part of his brain thinks Hell no. We've got a show in two weeks! I wouldn't call out practice even if I really was sick!
But what comes out of his mouth is just a strangled "Okay. I'll do it."
So he's not only weak, but stupid too. Great.
The blond pats his shoulder.
"That's good. I'll pick you up from home at five, 'kay? Get nice and freshened-up. We're going somewhere fancy."
As he walks past, Kiran's stomach sparks again.
--
Kiran does an everything shower the second he gets home; shampoo twice, conditioner, scrub his whole body with soap and a brush, even his sister's body scrub for good measure.
It wasn't like he was nervous or anything, right? He knows they're not meant to be friends, but he really can't help himself when it comes to resisting Theo's requests. How did he end up like this?
Anyways. He ponders even oiling his hair, but decides it won't be worth it.
He stares at himself, naked and hair still dripping in the bathroom mirror. As usual, but now a bit more focused. His face has been pretty clear since he started using that goopy thing Harper recommended. His lips were still soft from the shower, but he noticed earlier that the cold, dry winter days made his lips chapped. He needs lip balm. He doesn't worry much about his nose anymore; every time he starts feeling insecure he remembers how little he cares about those restrictive standards. His stomach doesn't stick out at all; in addition to his natural skinniness, he forgot to eat much in the past day or so, besides some plain rice and half of a stale Lebanese flatbread. He should shave. The hair's starting to get itchy. He wants to take a dump, but he still wants to stare at himself in the mirror for a little longer.
He decides first to shave. He starts at his face, then moves down to his arms, chest, and legs. He towels his hair dry, then decides to take the dump.
Kiran picks up his phone to two messages, one from Yihua and the other from Theo.
He opens Yihua's first. She rarely messages him besides reacting with emojis to his texts.
You: sry cant make it to prac
u can still practice with harps tho
Nori: why
Oh, the eloquence. It hurts a little to lie, but he supposes it's better than the humiliation of admitting what he's actually cancelling for (guy they allegedly all hate asks to hang out and he physically can't refuse). So he takes the easy route.
You: xtra bad nosebleed. texted mami and she didn't let me go to prac even tho im fine 💔
He can barely catch the three dots before she reacts to his message with a thumbs up.
He then swaps to Theo's text.
Theo: Don't be late :)
He gets the usual chills, but then his heart starts ramming against his ribs for some reason. The smiley face really ties it together; perfecting that eclipse between passive-aggressiveness and actual clear expression of his wishes. He replies with a simple I wont be before shutting off his phone.
After that, Kiran finally decides to change. He puts on plain black boxers first, then stares at his closet for something to wear.
He doesn't have an excessive amount of clothing; a few band tees of varying sizes, around three pairs of pants and three shorts, along with one button-up for situations that require some kind of formality. His collection of belts, along with his socks, underwear and jackets are folded under his clothes to save space.
He plays it safe today. His black cargo pants, a somewhat baggy McCafferty shirt half-tucked in with a leather belt and a (mostly) plain zip-up hoodie with a hand-embroidered bass-clef on the chest. And his beautiful Indian flag socks (sadly not visible under his pants). No extra jewellery, sadly, besides his lucky earrings.
It's 4:45. Fifteen minutes until he gets picked up. He's starting to get clammy. He starts to pack in a small bag. Chapstick. Water. Wallet. Phone. Tissues (for inevitable nosebleed). That must be it? What else. Mints? Yes, he should pack those too.
Oh! His eyebrow pencil-eyeliner! He jumps to his table drawer, pulling out his prized possession and propping himself on his knees, doing a quick, somewhat-symmetrical basic lining on either eye. He throws that in his bag too.
It's 4:55 now. Plenty of personal time for him and Miyha. He barely unzips her bag before the ring of the doorbell sounds from down the hallway.
"That's mine!" he calls out. Mami lets out a sound of acknowledgement from the living room.
He near-sprints down the hall, bag in hand, and opens the door.
Theodore stands there. As hypnotic as ever. He smells like vanilla and lavender; the scent sticks out before he even notices his outfit. Well-fitted jeans and a nice, clean navy hoodie. Red vans and white socks. His hair's a mix of platinum and dirty blonde, brushed just enough not to frizz but keep volume. So clean-cut.
"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to say hi?"
"O-oh, shit, sorry. Hi." Kiran blurts, remembering to put on his shoes.
"Hello, Kiran. See, that wasn't hard, was it?" Theo does that smile again, but for the first time in seemingly forever, Kiran finally finds himself annoyed at him. His cadence shows a level of passive-aggressiveness on the same caliber as an English teacher who has just read the worst essay in their teaching career (written by yours truly). But that quickly fades as the blond pats his shoulder, pulling him softly out the door.
"I'll drive us."
"Okay." is all Kiran can choke out, shutting the door behind him. His face feels warm. God, is he going to get a nosebleed already? That would be exceedingly embarrassing. He remembers once, in second grade back when they were close, he was simultaneously sick and nose-bleeding and sneezed at Little Theo, spraying snot and blood all over Theo's shirt, which made the blond throw up, which then made Kiran start crying. Good times.
(Grown up) Theo opens the passenger door for him (how chivalrous, he thinks).
His hair isn't saturated anymore, but he can feel the back collar of his shirt and jacket sticking on his bare back, damp. The car smells like Febreeze and luxury; leather seats, clean windshield, those glowy LED dashboards. It makes his skin crawl.
Theo climbs into the driver's seat. Since when did he get his driver's license? He probably passed the test on the first try.
The car doesn't lurch to life like Kiran's family's, more like a subtle, low rumble. The dashboard makes a nice jingle when it turns on, glowing a cool blue (Kiran swears Theo's favourite colour was sage green when they were kids).
Kiran only now realises he has no idea where they're going. He feels a little stupid to ask, so just assumes the best. What if Theo was planning to take him out to the woods and kill him for something petty from primary school? That totally seems like something he'd do. Well, younger Theo anyways. Post character-development Theo, he's not so sure. Maybe all this extra niceness was just to let his guard down. All this paranoia could be justified, then.
He decides he prefers the blunter, meaner Theo from 6th grade. This new little white boy friendliness creeps him out too much.
He takes advantage of Theo's eyes locked on the road to side-eye him as hard as he can without turning his head. He hasn't really looked at him yet, since attempting that has done nothing but trigger his fight-or-flight response, but this time, Theo's face looks rather candid. Relaxed. He doesn't get goosebumps or shivers or a lurching stomach when he looks like that.
The roots of his hair have gotten darker, almost brown, but the tips were still frosty, reflecting the pre-dusk light from the window.
His eyes aren't as light as they used to be; what used to be a vibrant blue-green turned to a nearly hazel colour, but the green was still significant. His jawline is somehow soft and sharp at the same time. He looks paler than back then too; it reminds him of clotted cream, for some reason, not like back then, with his sun-kissed tan and freckles in the summer. His nails were short and filed, unlike what it was like before, long and scraggly and dirty, despite playing piano all the time.
But some things stayed the same. His eyelashes were still long but subtle, probably brown at the roots and blonde lengths like back then. Eyes as round as ever, almost like a cat's. His lips are still smooth, soft-looking and rosy (not that he was actively looking at him like that. Just an astute observation from the years they hung out). He can tell from the passenger seat that Theo still uses the same fancy macadamia body wash, with the same coconut shampoo and conditioner, just with cologne on top. He just smells expensive. The soap alone cost over $200 per bottle, and he can't begin to imagine how much the cologne was. His eyes are starting to get tired of rotating 90 degrees, so he looks back ahead.
For a fleeting second, he notices the huge green sign on the overhead bridge, snapping him out of his stupor. When did they get on the highway? Did he really zone out for twenty minutes already?
Okay how it has been a hot minute since i touched this account.... sorry guys [to the 5 people who know this blog exists]
So I made some textposts. for my ocs. because i can <333 nd ofc i ended up accidentally making a plot from it.. YES this will be a reoccuring thing this is so fun
a/n: Wrote a short-short drabble based on my small town AU <333 Yes I will continue this AU (me when I lie)
wc: 168
Taped on Kiran's wall, above his desk, is an untouched Polaroid photo. He vaguely remembers the context; it was Halloween, seven-year-old him and Theo were dressed up as a vampire and werewolf respectively, and his mother squealed with how cute they looked. When he looks closer, he sees somewhat what she meant; Theo's light freckles dusted his flushed face, which was broken into a genuine grin, which matched his own, except for the fact Theo didn't have 3 tooth gaps at the same time which made him drool whenever he spoke.
Theo made a cute kid. Him, not so much.
That evening, they ate so much candy that he threw up on Theo's mum's freshly-cleaned carpet.
Kiran wishes life stayed that simple forever. Kiran wishes they stayed that simple together. But some things, he supposes, can't be helped. Death, taxes, and the fall of Theodore Winters & Kiran Singh. Speaking of, he needs to clock in in half an hour. He puts his brooding on hold for another day.
Played pine point insomniac. Got inspired. Made a lil AU...
Kiran Singh, 17/18
Stoner-esque guy
Quite chill. Old white people don't like him, but most other people think he's okay
Doesn't have many friends.
Has these thick rectangular glasses he only wears at home despite having the vision of a goldfish
One of five (5) non white families in the small town of Gunnard (population ~4000)(separate from Gunnard the suburb, which I also made up)
Kind of a nerd (good at maths, video game addict etc.)
Goes to a public high school a few minutes away from home
Currently flirting with a blonde girl in Theo's friend group (mainly late at night in the drive-thru)
Has a couple piercings
Childhood friends with Theo, then he (Theo) disappeared off the face of earth before abruptly returning to town a few years later. Kiran is still angry at him for it.
Natural habitat: His bedroom, behind local IGA, McDonald's night shift, under school bleachers, Theo's house, middle of the forest
Theodore 'Theo' Winters 17/18
Kiran calls him 'tay-oh' (or other nicknames), everyone else calls him 'te-oh' or 'th-e-oh'
Nice, charismatic person
According to Kiran: He's rich, smart, charismatic and attractive. It's insane. Well, to other people anyway. Also, his house is massive. He lives in like, a cul-de-sac but his house takes up the whole end of the road… see, his house is at the end, and then the garage is here, and his pool is behind the house and…
Kind of [definetely] a nepo baby
Teachers really like him
Everyone really likes him actually
Used to go to the private school across town, but now goes to Kiran's school due to [insert something vague and weirdly-worded]
The years he went missing, he was travelling around Europe and the USA while filming a movie.
Natural habitat: Performing arts hall, his house, top of the bleachers surrounded by friend group, Kiran's house, edge of forest.
I'm getting gradually better + faster at coming up with names!!! Everybody clap for me.
a/n: This is a story I worked on as writing warmup and (original) character study, but eventually spiraled into a full-on spinoff for my main story, which is based in this. Mind this is probably a really shoddy draft, but I take beta readers!
wc: 754
Suya does not see herself as a sadist. But there is just something about Mina… her gasps when she cried, the way her voice pitched up when Suya told her to do something she didn't want to (though she still did it, always), even how she sniffled in the change rooms after Suya left, as if she wasn't still in earshot. It felt nice. Satisfying, almost, like beating a strong opponent in battle.
Suya remembers the moment she realised she wanted Mina to be hers only as clear as day. One week after she made it to the over-15s sector, she was re-watching the previous days' trials when the girl caught her eye. Wispy blonde hair tied into a bun, glinting, ambitious eyes and a body that moved in ways Suya never considered possible in practice. She was perfect. As she inspected her further through reports, asking around and viewing her first-hand, she realised she was even better than she had hoped for. She was strong, flexible, smart, eager to please, and best of all, pliable. A better partner than she could have ever asked for.
The first time they talk, it goes exactly how she wanted to. Suya carefully bumps into Mina, just enough for the other to spill water on her, and while Mina babbles apologies, she slips in a few well-thought-out compliments to hook her in. Mina is exactly who Suya thinks she is. She watches the emotions in her eyes collide in full time, and since then, neither has looked back.
Now, Suya considers both of them to be much better than the naive children they used to be. Their skin and bodies are thicker, taller, and more refined than ever. In fact, Mina is still getting taller at an alarming rate, almost as tall as her now. Something also developing at an alarming rate is Mina's almost embarrassingly obvious crush on her. Nowadays, she does nothing but orbit around her all day, becoming a nice little sidekick in Suya's success. Mina's affections are nowhere near subtle, constantly gushing about how amazing she is. As if she already doesn't know.
The blonde has also, for better or worse, gotten more emotional. Throwing tantrums and such at anyone who dares badmouth her dearest. It's also quite embarrassing to watch, but Suya supposes it's necessary. She's even started talking back to her, but all she needs to do is throw her an uninterested glance for her to go mope somewhere else, before inevitably coming back with a teary apology (or alternatively, another outburst), usually within the hour.
It's everything or nothing at all with that girl, she supposes.
Sometimes Suya wonders if she went too far with Mina, but every time, she bursts in and interrupts her thoughts, showering her with everything she'd ever want. Why change now? She seems perfectly content being treated like this (given the fact she always comes back anyway), so she's just fulfilling her wishes.
One lazy afternoon, the two were taking a small break from muscle training, Suya hunched over on a bench and sipped slowly at her water bottle.
"Sei-ah, what're you thinking about?" Mina asks, turning her head toward the ravenette.
"Mm. Nothing much." She straightens up her posture, brushing the blonde's hair from her face, "You should wear clips for your bangs. It's messing up your kick pattern."
"R-right. Sorry, I'll get them tonight, then."
"Also, your hair's getting too long anyway. You should get a trim."
"Oh, I was planning to go to the barber this weekend, thanks for noticing!"
"I'll come with you. I need to avoid another sponsor request meeting."
Mina laughs softly before glancing at Suya again. "You can't avoid them forever, you know. You're amazing, everyone wants to invest in you!"
Suya makes a point to stare at her blankly. The prickly sensation of praise pokes at her guts uncomfortably, as always.
"… Oh, we should get back to work. Let's go." she grunts as she gets up from the bench, Mina quickly following after her.
Three days after Mina gets her new haircut, Suya decides that they are going to avoid a sponsor once again.
"Don't bother dressing up. It's a waste of time." she continued, tossing her sweatshirt and sweatpants into Mina's arms, leaving her in just the yoga shorts and black crop-top she always wore under her normal clothes, "Put that in the laundry, yeah? 'm gonna take a shower."
Mina nods as she scurries out of their bathroom, softly closing the door behind her.
For the writers struggling to rid themselves of the classic ‘said’. Some are repeated in different categories since they fit multiple ones (but those are counted once so it adds up to 100 new words).
Note: everyone is entitled to their own opinion. No I am NOT telling people to abandon said and use these. Yes I understand that said is often good enough, but sometimes you WANT to draw attention to how the character is speaking. If you think adding an action/movement to your dialogue is 'good enough' hate to break it to you but that ruins immersion much more than a casual 'mumbled'. And for the last time: this is just a resource list, CALM DOWN. Hope that covers all the annoyingly redundant replies :)
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a/n: i wanted to continue this SO BAD but i literally couldn't think of anything </3. Suggest in rbs or comments? 🥹
wc: 280
His hand is cold and slender, Lou thinks idly, like a corpse. The taller boy is passed out on Lou’s couch, using both his and the blonds sweater as a blanket. His hair, he thinks as he moves his hand back, is long and silky, like flowing water.
The image of him sleeping is surprisingly captivating. The subtle rise and fall of his chest, his soft twitching, the slight earthy smell of tea. He felt like he could watch him for hours, maybe until dawn.
When he was a child, Lou often had trouble sleeping. He was too captivated with the world to separate from it to a prison of unconsciousness; every experience was a new one, new touches, smells, sounds, sights; he couldn’t leave the world alone. Eventually, when the novelty of… everything faded, his parents were finally able to rest without the worry of light footsteps in the corridors in the far late-early hours.
Though, at the age of eighteen, he had found himself plagued again with the seemingly incurable insomnia. Which is why he found himself at 3:21 am, wide awake, toying with his sleeping (for lack of a better term) best friend’s hand, trying to lull himself to at least a somewhat tired state.
Eventually, as the other shifted slightly in his sleep, Lou just laced their fingers together, lying his head on his forearm with a disappointed sigh. Perhaps he would stay there, laying on the side of the couch and watching dawn seep in through the blinds for the next couple of hours like he did back then, when his parents could do nothing but lock the windows and doors to keep him inside.
romaincrisis
ellievsbear
pixelskylines
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