Stuck in a dialectical himbo loop

Lex • they/them/ella/elle • Adult • Bilingual (EN/ES) • We reblog bullshit here sir • Currently obsessed with Good Omens and The Magnus Protocol • Self-proclaimed thembo • Commssions open! (check pinned) Writing Blog • Comms info • TAZ • Miraculous • Noragami

[lexbiini]

Commision info!

Hi! I've never really done this before so apologies if I fumble a bit. I'm Lex (lexbiini on AO3) and I just graduated uni for creative writing. However, entry level employment opportunities in this field are... scarce (both for writing and copy editing). I am doing a ton of unpaid work rn and love every second of it, but unfortunately work experience doesn't really pay the bills by itself.

This is why I'm opening writing and editing/beta reading commissions!

SLOTS OPEN: Writing - 3 | Editing - 3

I will open six comm slots at a time for WRITING and EDITING

For writing:

Three slots at a time

One-shots only

$5 / 100 words

I'll write for any fandoms I've written for before (check my AO3 or my writing blog), as well as The Magnus Archives/Protocol, Good Omens, Heartstopper, all TAZ campaigns, Red Valley, Steven Universe, The Owl House, or mostly any other fandom you've seen me be insane about on this blog before

I am also willing to ghostwrite (being very loose with the term)/write short(...ish) pieces about your OCs! If you have the time and energy to come infodump at me about the blorbos from your brain, I am willing to listen and write about them!

I'll write most things (fluff, angst, character death, hurt/comfort, AU), but hard don'ts are NSFW, adult/minor or incest ships and excessive gore. I also reserve the right to just say no if a particular commission makes me uncomfortable.

Please DM me to reserve a slot and discuss your commission!

For editing and beta reading:

Three slots at a time

$2 / page (approx. 400 words counting with Times New Roman 12pt 1.5 space bc yes I am That Guy)

After 2,000 words $1 / page (So $10 for the first 2k and $1/page after that)

For editing and beta reading, fandom is less restrictive. Given, the less I know a fandom, the less characterization/story comments I can provide, but I will basically copy edit anything for spelling, grammar, syntax, story structure and formatting (I have a lot of fiction and nonfiction workshop experience!)

Again, please DM me to reserve a slot!

Payment through Ko-fi (and if you just wanna leave a little tip for the stuff i make you can also do that there<3)

If you have any further questions about comms, feel free to dm me!

[howtokillavampire]

but what if i read one of your fanfics and then went to your ao3 accounts and read all of your fanfics and left a comment on every single chapter of every single one and you got spam emails from all of my kudos and comments and it made you smile, what then? what if i brighten your day with my words like you did mine, what then???

[idkhowtobenormal]

marrage

[wynnyfryd]

weddning

[steviewashere]

honmoon

[himbosandhardwear]

Babby

[simplyghosting]

Fanfic update

[arcadewizard]

in that order

[reagan-slayer69]

“but what if you abort the baby who’ll cure cancer?!” sir the baby who will cure cancer is an organic chemistry major who works at a Home Depot because you use AI to go through your resumes

[mel-155-a]

"I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops." - Stephen Jay Gould, The Panda's Thumb: More Reflections in Natural History

[bon-bonsai]

Happy pride month to everyone! and to my fav genderfluid, agender; demon and angel.

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

[fellshish]

reading other comments on the fic you’ve just commented on is like. asynchronous book club meeting 🫶

[rylandgraces]

there’s a friday ass vibe about this wednesday boys keep your wits about you

[inzergue]

[random-jot]

[geosie]

[userfish]

this pride month we’re all going to be radically pro transgender. or else.

[userfish]

hey so this means radically pro ALL transgender. don’t put limitations on this. all trans people are radically accepted here.

[kittydealer]

u/Fine-Dog-9874

[maxxie-or-smth]

this is NOT my lowest point ❌🛑🛑❌🛑🚫 i will go lower

[16tinyfrogs]

on watching a parent age

i saw somebody say “what if you’re gone and i haven’t become anything yet” and basically that broke me on a random thursday evening

[theriu]

OP, this is genuinely a masterpiece, three poems in one, moving and well crafted. Please tell me you have submitted it to at least some poetry contests, and if not, please do so.

[greelin]

did perfectionism ever truly protect you from harm or neglect as a child though. ultimately. Lol

[greelin]

[REALLY NORMAL AND WELL-ADJUSTED VOICE] well you never know maybe it COULD have saved me. if i ever actually achieved perfection. it could have happened then. if i was actually ever enough. Which i was not

[elexecution]

there are too many things happening this summer that i'm thinking we are going to need an extra 6-12 months of june and possibly another 3-4 months of july. probably no extra august as the problem should hopefully sort itself out by then. we are also looking into extending the day night cycle to 55 hours and extending the human lifespan to 10000 years.

[homunculus-argument]

Fun fact: if you, as an adult, tell miserable children that their youth is the best that life will ever be, and that it's all just downhill from there, there's a percentage of them who will hear this and think "well, I guess I better kill myself before that happens." And a certain percentage of those will proceed to do that and succeed.

Anyway what I'm saying is that any time you feel tempted to say that, you should instead consider shutting the fuck up. Just because you peaked at 16 doesn't mean anyone else did. Most peoples' lives get better than that.

[atlantus]

I got lunch with my uncle and my neice, who Fifteen(tm) and i was like How Are You?

And she was just like "school sucks, my mom sucks, being fifteen sucks, i just want to grow up"

and so me, a wise and wisened newly fresh thirty year old just replied "yeah it does fucken suck!"

And when i tell you the air physically lightened up and she laughed so hard! And she told me more about why it all sucks and how she feels like no one listened to her, and they tell her to just do it, just get it done, and this girl is tired! She has so much homework and she feels like shes not smart because shes inundated with homework and school and she feels like the people in her life are not hearing her!

Just agree with people when they say something sucks for them! Offer a little sympathy, have some empathy. It does fucking suck being Fifteen.

[cannibalchicken]