The Story Of A Girl

Im a weird girl. I like to do the most random things at the most random times. I live every second likes its my last and I dont take crap froma anyone. I have Daddy issues but heck who doesnt i write music and i doodle lots music is my life and it always will be :)

[doctorthc]

[lexeybear-blog]

fucking hate that haha

[vibedalua]

[lexeybear-blog]

Ravessss

This girl needs a new fricken rave outfit

[lexeybear-blog]

lost

Well lately me and by boyfriend have drifted apart pretty bad and i dont think i can fix it. :/ In the past two weeks i have seen him twice once for 6 hours and the second time long enough for him to have sex :/ then he left right after. When i ask if we can hang out he always says he has homework which i told him to choose over me so he can graduate but now he says he has homework then goes to his best friends instead of seeing me :/ EVERYNIGHT he barly seems to want to talk to me let alone be with me. At this point i dont know what i should do. I feel like breaking up with him would kill me but at the same time its like we arent even together anymore.I have been trying to hold it together but i cant do it for much longer its starting to eat away at me inside

[lexeybear-blog]

Driftting apart :/

Slowly but surely :/ my and my boyfriend of 6 months are drifting apart :/ he always chooses friends over me. :/ I can go a week at least without seeing him but yet he sees the same friend every day. I mean i don't want to be that clingy girlfriend and be like choose me over them because that isn't okay...but honestly at this point i don't know what to do :/ Its like i have a friend more then a boyfriend. He barley even texts me and when he does its like an hour later and he doesnt even try to hold a conversation :/ I fuck-in love the kid but im not sure i can take much longer and it kills me to even say this or think it but i feel like i mean nothing to him anymore :/ I mean yea he sent me a cute message saying "Hey babe, I hope your sleeping good, I just wanted to say I love you very much! I know these past weeks have been hard for you but you wont admit it because your to stubborn but im really sorry. I just have to figure out how to manage my time better but its hard with school and work. I do wish we could see each other more often. I love you with all my <3 baby girl :*:*:*:*:*:*" But to me the last part seemed almost like hes giving up :/ and he finds room for friends why not me? :/ I dont know what to do or how to even bring it up without being that cray girlfriend who is super clingy any ideas on how to help?

[lexeybear-blog]

I guess nothing does last forever

its almost been five months with him...and this last week has seriously tore me and him apparent by miles :/ I feel like my whole life is caving in around me and i cant breath. He is what has been holding me together and keeping me from constently being depressed....and now im lossing him :/ i knew it wouldnt last forever with him but i just need him till i can figure out what to do when hes gone. It may seem selfish to say or even think but i wish he was happy with me and only me. not because im some controlling girlfriend but because i seriously do love him. He is what makes me want to get up every morning and try to put on a smile and say everything is okay. I just cant wrap my head around how it all changed over night like it did :/ and i mean seriously over night. He broke up with me and we got back together right after but since that day it seems like he isnt happy with me and honestly...doesnt love me anymore :/ our 5 month is tommorow and me and him arnt talking till mondaty because he thinks it might help us out...i cant even tell him i love him and am glad that we have had at least these 5 months together because they have been the best 5 of my life and i wouldnt change them for the world. <3  Despite what happens...i will never get over you

[lexeybear-blog]

Letting Go

So im the type of girl who seems to always get hurt. This has caused me to be really against getting close to people and ive always had this problem for as long as i remember, but oddly enough one boy comes along and changes everything about what i though about life. He has  taught me that its okay to let people in because im gonna get hurt by people i just have to push trough the pain to find the ones who wont. Hes taught me that its okay to be scared of things but not to let it control me. So many things that i could go on and on about. Most of all though..hes taugh me to love. Yes i said love because before him I can honestly say i loved my mom, Brother,Sisters and Step-dad  and that was no joke the jist of the people i loved because i knew that they wouldnt try to hurt me intentionally.Now i have added one person to the list and its most deffinetly him, i know i wont ever fully get past trusting people and letting them in or things like that but i know its okay to talk to people about stuff and not worrying so much about the judgment or them hurting me because im surrounded by an amazing family and one amazing boy friend as well as some great friends. Im finally letting go of the past and becoming truely happy not the fake crap ive been pretending to be for years now...smiling and not faking feels good and ive missed it so much. Anyways if anyones reading this i ope you can at least take on thing from all of this...Learn to let go and learn to love. try not to pretend because its only going to make you even more unhappy reach out sometimes you never know you might find someone to help you out

[lexeybear-blog]

ME :)

[lexeybear-blog]

A little about me

Im a  16 year old girl with some big dreams and a big heart. I am very random at times and some people might call me stupid when in all reality im just ditzy. I am far from stupid and it makes me angry when people think differently. I dont take much crap from anyone because im the type fo girl who has had to build up this strong wall around me so i dont get hurt. A lot of people might think im just a bitch for no reason but in all reality when that side comes out of me its because im crying on the inside from things in the past or things people say. Im 100% against bullying i have had to deal with it for years about how im not "Good Enough" or how im a "Crack Baby" i mean i have honestly been called every bad name in the book. my moms an ex drug addict (I dunno how to spell it) she stopped when she found out i was going to be born and it got out to some girls in school who apparently liked to hurt people by breaking them down and making them feel bad about themselves. Ever sence that day i have been against bullying. Im also addicted to music its my go to when im sad or just bored. I love writing even though im not very good at it. I also love taking pictures of things around me because i love to capture whats happening because who knows I might miss something that the camera didnt.

[lexeybear-blog]

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

A lot of the times its just listening to music.I feel it helps relax me  in ways that nothing else can or no one else can. A lot of people will probably say this and at this point im just repeating what everyone say but MUSIC IS MY LIFE. I depend on it for the littlest things and its always my go to thing when im in a bad mood :)