Warning: Giant Loser Blog

Just some wrestling and things that tickle my fancy. Ask is always open. I'm open to writing one shots.

[lez-get-something-straight]

It hits hard knowing you’re never coming back. I miss you to no end. I wish I hugged you tighter. I wish I talked to you longer. I just wish I spent more time with you regardless. I’m doing my best to take care of mom for you. I can’t imagine what she deals with day to day. I need you back. Nothings the same anymore. My smile got smaller, my eyes got duller, my whole world is just dark. They took my sunshine away. Now I live in this ugly world because one of the most beautiful things was taken away.

[lez-get-something-straight]

I've been working on being better for myself since coming home from the ward. It's hard to break old habits and remembering my meds is a real struggle. I'm trying tho. That has to count right?

[lez-get-something-straight]

Fuck you, fuck your wife, fuck her family, oh and don't come around when shit hits the fan. I don't want to hear it

[lez-get-something-straight]

I just want to talk to you. You’ve written us off and you don’t even seem to care. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just hope you know how much it hurts that I haven’t heard from you in months.

[bluebandana]

my role on tumblr dot com is to scroll through thousands of posts and only reblog the good ones for you to see like your personal tumblr pasta strainer

[conarcoin]

[drachenengel]

[lez-get-something-straight]

I dunno who needs to hear this but (according to my knowledge and NY) If you get hurt at work and you’re happy about getting comp, you are in for a hell of a ride. My mother was on workers comp for years because she herniated a disc in her back causing her to become 75% disabled. Meaning she had to get surgeries and meet plenty of doctors. Now the truth about workers comp, if you’re on it and minimum wage goes up, your wage stays the same. On top of that, you can’t go to any other doctor for your work injury. You have to go to ones approved by the insurance you get through workers comp. My mom became a prescribed drug addict and spent most of my childhood in bed; missing band concerts, little loop games, and so many moments. And don’t get me started on how many times she couldn’t get her meds in time causing her to go through withdrawals and becoming more sick. Now that my mom is off the pain medications she was on, she’s a whole different person. And now she’s the mom I needed when I was growing up. She feels guilty for missing out on my childhood and feels the need to make up for it now that she’s able. Don’t let workers compensation get you. They’re pill pushing vultures that’ll do anything to ruin your life.

TL; DR: don’t go through workers compensation if you can help it or you just might become a drug addict.

[lez-get-something-straight]

Haven’t gone to work the past 2 days due to depression. And I had a vivid dream about all the different ways to end myself. Don’t ask me if I’m ok

[mellow-fellows]

[reclusivehermit-deactivated2021]

[lez-get-something-straight]

I should’ve went through with it when I had the chance

[jonbutter]

reblog this to have a Happy Wildcat New Year™

[jonbutter]

not enough people reblogged this last year we gotta really try this time to have a Happy Wildcat New Year™

[imatterdonti]

“I’m so tired of crying. I don’t want to cry anymore.”

— Thoughts I’ll never speak out loud

[imatterdonti]

“I’m losing myself. I’m so sad and afraid . I’m so fucking sad and afraid.”

— Thoughts I’ll never speak out loud.

[lez-get-something-straight]

I fucked up. I royally fucked up. I wish I could go back and stop it from happening. I should’ve just stayed quiet. Never had an issue with staying quiet before. I don’t know why I even opened my mouth in the first place.

[lez-get-something-straight]

I’m hurting my girlfriend without realizing it till now. I don’t mean to hurt her and it was never my intention. I feel like I’m being controlling but I have reasons why I’m doing this. The want to put my head through a brick building is at an all time high. I can’t bare to hurt her again. I just can’t.

[lez-get-something-straight]

I don’t like the way I am sometimes. But I don’t wanna take medications for it. I haven’t gone to therapy in 2-3 years. But I don’t know where to look. My mood swings are getting out of control. I just want to be normal. Sometimes I forget things. Sometimes I can’t figure out what’s going on in my head. I don’t like bringing it up to the people I care about because I don’t want to make their life harder than it already is. I don’t like when people worry about me because I feel like there’s something wrong with me if they do. I’m sick of living like everything is fine and I’m alright. I’m not a good liar and sooner or later I’m gonna end up breaking down. Medications are just pills that’ll “fix” me. I don’t wanna go through that process again. I didn’t like how numb I was to everything when I was on them. I never remember to take them and hearing “have you been taking your meds?” Makes me feel like a mental patient. Like the meds are the only things that can help me. I hate this person my brain makes me out to be. I don’t like having a short fuse and I don’t like being aggressive. I’ll get to a point where I can’t stop hitting myself in the head in hopes that if I hit it at the right angle or with the right amount of force, my brain will function normally again. I just wanna be happy again.