okay im sick of not knowing about the demon brothers physiology. i want to study them. canon, the boys can *get drunk + hungover *experience indigestion *have mucus membranes [mammon’s snot] = experience allergies/dry mouth/sneezes/cough/sweat/oily hair+skin *sexual desire = have endorphins = implies this can be manipulated [via drugs, sex] *get sick = implies bacteria/viruses can infect demons, which implies either existence of evolved bacteria that can live in demons or the demon’s body is relatively similar to the humans [same pH/temperature/osmotic pressure]…
so like! headcanon where mc is like ok. i’m sick and tired of not understanding you. belphegor sleeps on the wrong side of the bed and his back aches for days but mammon’s strung upside down for 3 weeks and he’s fine. and don’t get me started on the MULTIPLE times you guys did something to me thinking i could handle it because you didn’t know humans weren’t built that fucking way [looks at leviathan who left mc stranded in a flooding house after he summoned lotan forgetting that humans cant breathe underwater] so! lecture time! [boys groan]
[note: i get that the classes at RAD most likely go over this. but also, i do not like the idea of sitting next to lucifer during class like literally that is so insane. so i imagine it moreso of a government with the brothers as lord diavolo’s cabinet & mc as an ambassador]
*mc would give a series of lectures of various major concepts in biology- human development + anatomy, reproduction, disorders + pathophysio, etcetera…
*mc would explain human biology in very simple terms but even lucifer is stumped. [you’re saying that your… teeth just… fall out?] yeah! every kid goes thru it! [so you’re saying literally everything that makes you YOU is in the form of some clump of molecules connected in a very specific way?] ..sure. [okokook hold ON. you have little bugs living in you right now and that’s good. but sometimes those bugs turn evil and can kill you???] that’s an interesting way to describe opportunistic infections
*mc pauses, looking at their audience. they think for a moment… and skip a bunch of slides in their powerpoint. mammon’s like WAIT mc why are you skipping those slides??? what’s on em huh huh huh huh?!?!? and mc’s like okay. so, science is a very malleable subject. we hypothesize, we test it, if we’re wrong, we adjust, etcetera. so… we kinda have this really accepted theory of how humans and well, literally everything in the human realm evolved- but… considering… you guys are like… from heaven… implying… god… uhhh [mc is VERY uncomfortable] lucifer’s like well what mc. god made all of us. is there a problem. mc’s like NO its just well. science doesn’t really respect that so we… well science says we descended from unicellular microorganisms- [the bros burst laughing] leviathan: HUMANS LOLOL SO FUCKING STUPID
*lucifer lectures on demon physiology/anatomy. he shows a slide of a little d and points to the center. “this is the culmination of all things dark and evil- putrid filfth resides here”
*mammon delivers a lecture on demon sociology. he talks about the hierarchy of demons, the strongest being lord diavolo, the next being the 7 brothers, then the specialized species of sins [succubi - lust, etc], then the lowest is the little ds! cue mc being like, huh… what about barbatos? he’s not really akin to any of the vices, nor is he one the princes of hell… where does he fit? everyone goes quiet and OOPS huh lost our train of thought, weird… what were we talking about? moving on!
*leviathan talks about cultural exchange between devildom and the other realms. unfortunately, he spends the entire time talking about anime, which technically is permitted as it is a human aspect of their culture that has been exchanged to hell. everyone is clearly frustrated but can’t do anything about it- much to leviathan’s happiness!
*satan lectures on the history of the devildom. he starts off with the famous fall of lucifer. he spends three hours talking about how the once great angel lucifer was far too proud and decided to literally defy god itself but obviously failed miserably. satan flips through his powerpoint, showing horrible depictions of lucifer’s fall, repeating over and over variations of ‘lucifer the stupid dumbass angel with his inflated ego got kicked out of heaven’ with the snarkiest grin on his face
*asmodeus presents part ii of demon sociology, more on the cultural aspects of the devildom. he conducts a much more hands-on approach, where he sets up a little arts-and-crafts activity where everyone gets to paint a little canvas, very a la bob ross style with asmodeus leading the group. a few minutes in, everyone realizes asmodeus is just making them paint his face -_-
*beelzebub- well, you’d assume he would just do a little cooking class, but everyone knew that wouldn’t go as planned [him most likely eating all the ingredients!] so he instead was forced to give a lecture on agricultural practices + common crops found. mammon bet twenty grimm beelzebub would pass out of hunger within the first half and lucifer took him on. lucifer then gave beelzebub some candy and mammon was like </3 not fair lucifer </3
*belphegor went over geographical locations of the devildom, various landmarks, and the best places to visit for tourists. he worked with solomon to get projections of the places he was presenting on within the room they were in - cue everyone’s wonder that belphegor actually tried! he saved the best for last- the room turned dark as little sparkles of light reflected against their faces- stars glimmered all around them, the brothers’ respective stars glowing brightest of them all :)
*mc would thank them all for indulging them with a homemade human dish <3
