[cheaphalloweencostume]

lying on the internet: a collective, pt I

girl gamer gets saved from troll by girls singing frozen

offered money for a dick pic

i then walked out like a sassy bitch

saved by a grandma from a millennial hating anti book grandpa

even the religious people clapped

everyone behind me in gamestop gasped

the entire audience cheered and i got a thumbs up

my birthday was made into a holiday

this is my neighborhood now biatch

getting mugged, then hugged

some guy tried to recruit me into isis

ive just selected three led zeppelin CDs

you look like you could kill a man

everyones slowly getting high

oppa homeless style

and then i got ten dollars -ben carson

also im giving u 100 dollars

i wish i was alive during the 40s

my son has his own gun

facebook is for whores and pundits

a reggae man took my side

also ad agencies are dumb

16 children die every 30 seonds in chik fil a

[hiphopocliedes]

One struggle 🫡

[catfishimages]

if we keep getting fatter and hornier we can abolish all world militaries by 2026

[alefbetsoup]

[airborneranger63]

One time my rabbi told us, “imagine you had a box with a little bit of god in it. What would you do with the box?”

So we were like ?? “We’d protect it and keep it nice and clean and polished” and he was like “your body’s that box. Stop eating markers”

[whoarei]

she guessed my favorite color first try..

but between me and u……. i didnt even have a favorite color until she yelled out yellow!! she was hella excited n smiling like a little kid. so i told her she was right and i havent seen yellow the same since, its in everything. i could probably live in it now. 

[sugarplumfailure]

My physical attraction to Nathan Fielder is becoming more and more separate from my admiration for his artistry. Oh god I am so fucked

[lickiitung]

Someone PLEASE write some fanfiction about Nathan fielder x reader

[thedarkmongoose]

that was like watching two sea otters fighting

[bauhauz]

[guooey]

[eight-1]

"i'll tell you later" tell me now or ima throw up

[catchymemes]

[caram3lk1ng]

People notice your shoes💯

[themasterpupil]

Once again a woman putting me on to some life changing shit

[gayiconwaluigi]

[jeza-red]

This is a painting of Jacek Malczewski called simply ‘Death’ and it’s my favourite personification of death in any medium. 

She’s not creepy or scary, or sexy, or abstract. She is this thick woman with worn hands, dressed as normal, with a non-stylised scythe and pins in her hair: like a farmer’s wife that just came form the field and rests against the wall, catching some sun. She is not creeping about the dying one holding her scythe over their head, she is just there, calmly waiting her turn. 

This painting always fills me with peace and optimism when I think about death. She is just there, outside the window, in no hurry at all, sensible and down to earth. I can live with that.

[cdi-screens]

Hotel Mario

[wayneradiotv]

mario holds this pose for like 5 seconds. this is all we’re gonna be seeing from cdi-screens for a week

[unicarcass-archive]

[tonyzaret]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[lickiitung]

I think that if I learned how to read tarot cards I’d be unstoppable but I don’t want to buy them off of amazon