izzy's playlists!
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@lidl-official
We would like to apologise for any inconvenience caused in the sales aisles today when our automatic bread cutter broke down.
Those who had a panic attack were calmed down and unfortunately the ambulance didn't arrive in time for the people who had heart attacks.
We believe it to be an issue with our new range braed which may or may not contains traces of caesium.
HAPPY SHOPPING!!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Waitrose is shit
And tescos are too
OPINION TIME
Old vegetables are out and our brand new range of vegetables are stronger than ever
We would like to offer our condolences to Clive's family as we recently had an upsetting accident with one of our 15 gallon tin of tomatoes.
Clive was killed in the subsequent explosion.
To remember Clive and his life we will be blowing up our Stratford branch temporarily.
SAVE THOSE KOALAS
*support local Vietnamese farmers by buying our toilet paper*
We have removed the sales aisle. Pay
For once, a brilliant idea. We are also removing the sales aisle (our executives were shocked to find that we had one in the first place), and replacing it with an exclusive aisle, with 20-220% more exclusive prices on all products.
As the largest supermarket brand we would like to call waitrose out for a boxing match. The fact that they're being elitist is just a testimony to the fact that they refuse to sell karrots and kelery.
#blackhistorymonth
For gay pride month we will be issuing a lower priced range of rainbow batorade for members of the lgbt community
We offer 15 whole bottles of batorade for the unbelievable price of £0.50 a 1p decrease on our previous prices
*Terms and conditions apply, if we do not deem you to be gay you will not be given the discount*
#habitatforhumanity #lgbt #getkimmyhisown missile #bradpittisridiculouslysexy
Our new range of burgers are coming soon!!!
The mamburger is the hottest new thing about town with a guaranteed 50% beef produce!
As to previous complaints we have decided to replace any horse product with some marbled rhino.
LETS LOWER POACHING OF THOSE RHINOS!!!
#gaypride #blm #loveislove #poorpeople #buyourfood #blackcookiesandwichedwithawhitefilling
We've just realised the grave error in our last post and we are so sorry to any minorities we may have offended.
We would like to stress that we do not have any affiliation with a certain anti coloured hate group, we just really like our vegetables.
BLM
Just like to announce the release of our new range of vegetables. We have new vegetables such as karrots, kabbage and kauliflower.
We thank you for shopping with us.
We're happy to announce the release of our new cellular phone ........ the m'apple. Similar in every way to a normal smartphone but ours is cheaper
