this pain is alright with me

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[lieutenanthawkeye]

[centralking-deactivated20120709]

[lieutenanthawkeye]

[lieutenanthawkeye]

　

[fullmetalmidget-deactivated2014]

Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy’s first law of equivalent exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world’s one and only truth.

[homeless-bird-deactivated201207]

art by maya

[lieutenanthawkeye]

　

[lieutenanthawkeye]

Progress || @shadows-of-flames

[shadows-of-flames-blog]

He wouldn’t dream of moving any further near her than she wanted, but he also wouldn’t turn her away if she felt alright being close to him.  The warmth of her body pressed against him wasn’t something that he was used to, but he was familiar with it and memories of that night flashed in his mind, causing his heartbeat to accelerate slightly.  He held her closer then for a long moment, merely savoring the walls being torn down for however long this were allowed between them.

Looking down, he let his mind wander.  She was here with him and the storm suddenly seemed like nothing with her in his arms.  Delicately, he pulled back to read her eyes, attempting to decipher just what was going through her mind.  After some time, he decided on tilting her chin up gently and kissing her.  The same flutter erupted in his stomach and he felt as if he were in utter bliss.  He had missed this…he loved this.  He loved her.

As he pulled away from her, his hand moved back to rest on her side and he was surprised to feel his face flush.  He wasn’t embarrassed so much as he was nervous.  She had kissed him, but Roy’s mind worked wonders when he was intent on doubting himself.  

[lieutenanthawkeye]

A slight panic set in when he kissed her because no, no, please don't let that night happened again. The kiss was innocent, merely a kiss good night, yet her mind had run rampant with the idea of it being something more. So this is what happens when you come to love someone, to miss them. You only want more.

"Roy..." she whispered, her voice soft, warning, wanting. They were both nervous--she could felt it when they kissed--and she wished that she was good with words, able to ease his worries along with her. Things would just have to fall together again, she supposed. But she wanted them to fall together now, not later. Please, I just want to be happy with him. I want us to be happy. Although, for her happy had never really had a definition. During her time with him, she had hoped to figure it out, but they were clumsy when it came to emotions.

Closing her eyes, she snuggled closer, hoping that she could give him some assurance. Couldn't he see that she loved him, had missed him, wanted to be close to him again? Sometimes, the lack of words hurt more than the words themselves. Just try and get some rest, Riza, she told herself. There was no point in losing sleep over them being silly.

[fmacity]

the long-suffering riza.

(tumblr is being a dick and resizing this so just … open in a new tab :[)

[lieutenanthawkeye]

Progress || @shadows-of-flames

[shadows-of-flames-blog]

Her hand applied a gentle pressure to his shoulder and somehow that brought him the comfort that he needed, even if it was because the noise had startled her.  The strength of her hands was reassuring and it was a quality about her that he would always appreciate, especially in situations such as this.  Whether she was pulling the trigger or offering help, every action spoke so loudly and he adored it.

Roy nodded in agreement with her once, not saying a word as she stood up and made her way to her dresser.  Upon her return, he was ready to return her goodnight when he felt her lips press against his.  He barely had time to return it before she pulled away and took his breath with her.  His face heated up lightly and the layers of clothes he was wearing suddenly felt suffocating.  That reminded him that he had nothing to sleep in besides his street clothes, which were anything but pajamas.  The vest and tie suddenly became apparent and he stood as she laid down, beginning to tug at the fabric.  The red tie was removed with enough ease and placed on the nightstand before him and his vest followed.  

Making her uncomfortable was something that he would avoid at all costs, even if it meant that he slept in slacks and his white collared shirt.  Lifting the covers, Roy climbed into the bed beside her.  That single kiss had left him wondering about so much.  Since the night he had regained his sight, the relationship between them had been foggy in the sense that he knew not where the line was drawn anymore. The night of intimacy that they had shared…it had been so precious to him.  He thought of this as he faced her and delicately, he draped his arm over her waist, taking a moment to appreciate her.  His lips fell to her forehead and he placed a lingering kiss there.

[lieutenanthawkeye]

The shuffle of the sheets, his clothes, brought to her mind the fact that this was all planned at the very last minute. She couldn't help but smile as he climbed into bed beside her as she realized his intentions. Boundaries were hazy still and he wasn't trying to push them, for her sake because this was Mustang and she liked to think that she knew everything about him, yet after all this time, he still never failed to surprise her. Leaning her back into him, she finally let herself relax and close her eyes, focus on just him and the sound of the rain. For once, she might actually be able to sleep.

"You don't have to try so hard, you know," she whispered, eyes still closed. "Besides, I doubt sleeping in slacks could ever be comfortable." Opening her eyes again, she craned her head back to see his face and maybe it was just him or them or this whole thing, but she laughed, quiet in the dark. Turning around, she faced him for a moment before she buried her face into his chest, wanting to lose herself in him again because he was home, safety, comfort, and she so desperately wanted all of those things. She felt the words of an apology bubbling in her throat--I'm sorry I'm being silly, clingy, but I love you. Instead, she chose to cuddle closer. Words won't work, she reminded herself. Not now. Or perhaps this was all just her tired mind thinking? Right. Sleep was probably what she needed most.

[emilysbett-archive]

[carlosmoya]

#lemme tell you something about this couple #this is all the touching they ever had in their whole series #62 episodes and this is it #and this fact makes them even more beautiful #they are not about touching or sexual tension or pretty words #these two are all about confidence and reliability and trust and glares and willingness to die for each other #and that’s what love is all about

[futuristics]

[sm0kin-guns-deactivated20120711]

[theflamesniper-blog]

ロイアイ - じゃが

[lieutenanthawkeye]

[shadows-of-flames-blog]

Holsters||Open to All Rizas

[shadows-of-flames-blog]

Feeling her lean against his shoulder, he returned the gesture and lightly rested his head against hers.  The evening was a bit chilly, but there was enough warmth between the two of them to keep them content.  The breeze that came and went was carrying the soft scent of flowers.  Roy let his eyes slip shut for a moment, taking everything around him in with a deep breath and a smile.

When the carriage came to a stop, his eyes opened and he sat up carefully as to not disturb where her head rested.  Giving her hand a light squeeze, he kissed her temple.  ”We’re here,” he informed her, the smell of delicious, freshly prepared food wafting by as he spoke.  It was their favorite restaurant and he looked forward to the meal as well as his company.  Roy had made sure to reserve a table that would be private but still full of ambiance and just as romantic.  Their social interaction would happen if and when Riza wanted to dance with him.

[lieutenanthawkeye]

Groaning slightly, she opened her eyes, not wanting to leave the comfort that was Roy's shoulder, Roy himself. The smell of food helped to bring her to senses and she took note of the place, smiling. "You picked the perfect spot," she said, getting out of the carriage with his help. Always the gentleman. Luckily, she had a soft spot for gentleman. Well, a certain one.

Inside, she was grateful for the fact that their table was private. Tonight, she would rather just focus on him, them, than the rest of the restaurant's guests. With both of them finally seated, she felt a pang of guilt at not getting him anything as nice. Of course, he was probably enjoying himself too, but she still couldn't help feel like she should get him something too. "This is all so lovely, Roy," she said. "Thank you."

[lieutenanthawkeye]

Progress || @shadows-of-flames

[shadows-of-flames-blog]

One aspect of his subordinate that he had become ever so familiar with was her inability to see just how much she meant to those around her.  Roy in particular needed her in so many different ways and had always had her as a friend, a partner, someone to support him through even the most agonizing feats.  The way he saw it, there was nothing that she couldn’t do, not with her determination.  Seeing her so down on herself worried Roy and he wanted to do all that he could with the rare moments that they had together in order to assure her of just how much he needed her in order to keep going.

When she pulled her hand away, his stomach dropped and his brows furrowed as an automatic reaction.  His name on her lips was unfamiliar but it was something that he adored.  As he gathered his thoughts, he opened his mouth as if to speak but stopped himself when he saw her walking towards her room and his heart flared with hope that she would be complying with his request.  He followed her wordlessly, his steps careful and nearly silent as if he were afraid to scare her away or stop her.  

Upon entering the room, Roy waited a moment before sitting beside her.  There wasn’t all too much space between them, but he wouldn’t make her feel any more uncomfortable than he already had.  Riza’s voice shook him out of his thoughts and he looked over to meet her eyes with an affectionate gaze.  A sudden lashing of thunder caused him to flinch as his heartbeat sped up somewhat and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again.  ”Trust me,” he told her, “you’re the only company I’d like to have right now.”

[lieutenanthawkeye]

This was part of what she had feared: becoming attached, falling for him all over again. They were wrong and this shouldn't be happening--again! Yet, earlier she had laid herself open, did her best to explain why she was afraid of being close, closer. I don't ever want to lose you. If that was true, then why did she think that distance would help? It only hurt her more, made the ache all the stronger.

The sudden clash of thunder made her jump, her hand landing on his shoulder. A soft smile graced her lips, thinking that she's being silly, it's only a storm. "Hopefully it'll end soon," she said, wanting to fill the silence. Standing up, she walked over to her dresser and removed her earrings. Already in her pajamas, she deemed herself ready for bed, too tired to do much else. Always so, so tired.

Turning back to him, she felt herself blush and is this how things were meant to be, supposed to work out? "Good night," she whispered and (she even surprised herself with this) kissed him because oh, how she missed him. Settling herself into bed, on the side opposite where he sat, she looked at him, studying--since when had his back become so broad--and waiting. The need to tell him how much she loved him, how happy she was becoming, found its way to light, but no, tonight was not the right time. For now, she was content with things left unspoken.

[lieutenanthawkeye]

Progress || @shadows-of-flames

[shadows-of-flames-blog]

Rain wasn’t was actually bothered him unless he was out in it.  It was what seemed to always be associated with rain, the thunder, the lightning.  For someone that had spent time fighting in the hell that was war, a storm felt like a battlefield, and for that reason along with his desire to prevent her from aching from the couch, he didn’t agree with the sleeping arrangement.  He didn’t know how she felt about the storm, but he knew that she too had her times when the time spent at war flashed into her mind and he didn’t want to risk that, especially when he could prevent it.  With this in mind, he watched her as she approached the closet and thought of a way to talk her out of sleeping apart.

Her pleas for him not to argue fell on deaf ears.  Without a word, he made his way over to her and reached out, grasping her hand with care.  He met her eyes once more, his words genuine as he spoke them even if there was more to be said on the matter.  ”I’d like it if we both slept in the bed,” he told her without a hint of anything that may lead her to believe he intended on anything perverse.  ”What with…the noise and all…”  His gaze shifted to the ground as he felt embarrassed.  He was asking her to sleep by him because he was afraid of something as simple as nature.  ”I mean- I just,” there was no other way to word his request.  ”I’d like to have you near me, is all.”

All and all, as long as she agreed, she wouldn’t have to sleep on the couch and he would perhaps have a peaceful rest.  Normally at his own home when it stormed, he would merely stay awake and have just enough whiskey so that his senses were dulled before he tried falling asleep.  It wasn’t healthy, but it wasn’t as if he were drinking for pleasure.

[lieutenanthawkeye]

This wasn't what she had wanted. Then again, who was she to think that he would go along with things? Please, she begged, adverting her eyes and removing her hand from his grasp. It hurt because she wanted to be close and yet, a part of her was still conflicted. Why was it so hard? It was almost as if they were two puzzle pieces from a different puzzle. Yet, they had somehow fit--beautiful, perfect--before, so why couldn't it stay that way? 

"I don't think that I would be the best company right now, Roy," she said, her tongue slipping and accidentally saying his name. "I'm just..." Please understand. I love you, but--but what? Emotions were things that she always struggled with, even more so when it came to him. Love and work weren't supposed to mix and maybe they were just meant to be together, but why couldn't it have happened some other way, something easier?

Wordlessly, she went into her bedroom and sat down on the bed, hoping he would take the hint and follow. She was lying to herself, pretending that she could ignore their relationship, their feelings. "If you don't mind bad company," she spoke, her voice soft, as she looked at him, a smile threatening to give way. "Then I suppose I don't mind sharing."