MY MIND

[taylorswift]

There were five posts in the fence.

[jessicaswiftie1989-deactivated2]

Taylor broke Instagram this is so funny

[taylorswift]

I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative. 😂

[okay]

leave a toxic relationship and fall back in love with yourself

[islandbreeze-13]

I hate her

[another-like-me]

SHE DID NOT

[claudiaheartstay]

TAYLOR YOU DIDN’T-

[taylorswift]

I truly didn’t. I know how sensitive that topic is in these parts.

[mustlikeme4me]

I am -

[itwasntasingle]

WTF IM DEAD

[evermoreemily-deactivated202507]

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

[kissinonsidewalks]

TAYLOR WTFG

[taylorswift]

👀

[lifeasme1997]

I’m hyped, are you hyped? You better be hyped @taylorswift @taylornation

[aaronexplainsitall]

You seem like the right person to ask but what the fuck is going on in the Taylor Swift fandom? Are they OK?

Okay friend, I’m going to give you the run down. Are you sitting comfortably? 

2PM GMT - SOME TAYLOR SWIFT FANS DECIDE - FOR SEEMING ABSOLUTELY NO INTELLIGIBLE REASON - THAT THERE IS A MURAL IN NASHVILLE THAT RELATES TO TAYLOR’S NEW ALBUM

THERE ARE NO FACTS TO BACK THIS UP

TAYLOR HAS NOT SPOKEN OF THIS MURAL

HER TEAM HAVE NOT SPOKEN OF THIS MURAL

THE ONLY VAGUE LINK IS THAT IT RELATES TO HER INSTAGRAM AESTHETIC

THEY’RE GATHERING IN THEIR HUNDREDS BY THIS MURAL CONVINCED THAT SHE’S GOING TO SHOW UP

WHY?

ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING REASON

FLASH FORWARD (and we’re taking on the world together, and there’s a drawer of my things at your place) TO 5PM GMT 

AND THE ENTIRE TAYLOR SWIFT FANDOM ON TUMBLR IS BRACING FOR THEIR MOM TO CALL THEM BOO BOO THE FOOL LIKE SHE DID WHEN THEY ASSERTED CONFIDENTLY THAT BECAUSE THERE WERE FIVE HOLES IN A FENCE ON ONE OF HER INSTAGRAM PICTURES THAT A COUNTDOWN WAS HAPPENING

THEY’RE ASSUMING CRASH POSITIONS

THIS IS GOING TO BE AN OUTING OF STUPIDITY TO THE ENTIRE WORLD

NEWS CREWS ARE GATHERING —- AGAIN FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN THE FANS THINK SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THIS THESIS

EVERYONE ON TUMBLR IS DISTRESSED

DISMAYED

“THE WORLD WILL KNOW THAT WE’RE INSANE!!” THEY CRY, THEIR SELF-AWARENESS THEIR LAST REDEEMING FEATURE

AND THEN

WHEN ALL HOPE IS LOST

TAYLOR ‘I’M POTENTIALLY THE ONLY PERSON MORE BATSHIT CRAZY THAN MY FANS’ SWIFT GETS HER CLOWN ASS ON INSTAGRAM

AND CONFIRMS THAT IT IS HER FUCKING MURAL AND THAT SHE IS ON THE WAY THERE

“YOU FIGURED OUT (my secrets and I figure out why you’re guarded, you say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes) THE CLUE!” SHE SHRIEKS

THERE WERE NO CLUES

NOT ONE

THEY TURNED UP IN DROVES BECAUSE THEY ALL DESPERATELY NEED TO GET A JOB

AND THEN - 6PM GMT - THIS ANGEL/DEVIL WOMAN TURNS UP AT THE MURAL AND TAKES WHAT SEEMS LIKE A SELFIE WITH LITERALLY ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE WHO’S THERE - WHICH BY THE WAY, IS ABOUT 500 PEOPLE AT THIS POINT

AND SAYS! NOTHING ABOUT THE ALBUM! NOTHING ABOUT THE SINGLE! NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING!

SHE JUST SHOWS UP AND SAYS HEY (it was enchanting to meet you) 

OUTSTANDING

LITERALLY OUTSTANDING 

WHO KNEW SUCH CLOWNERY AND TOMFOOLERY WAS POSSIBLE?

NOT I, GENTLE READER! NOT THE FUCK I!

I’m literally in love with Taylor Swift, I have never wanted to be a celebrity’s friend more than in this moment. She’s so messy and I live for literally every second of it, we are SOUL MATES. 

[taylorswift]

That’s it, that’s the tweet

[wonderstruck-swift13]

no one:

taylor:

[floorglitter]

it’s a loofah story baby just say yes

[pswift22-blog]

Dont say i didnt, say i didnt, shower

[wonderstruck-swift13]

I think I am finally clean

[vigilanteashit]

only got this skin so you can exfoliate it off

[inlovewithtay]

cause baby now we got bath bombs

[thisloveistaylorreputation]

soap it goes

[wouldutellmetogofuckmyself-deac]

I knew you were bubbles

[acanadianswifteh]

Phone lights up my nightstand in the black, “come here, you can meet me in the bath”

[stargirlswiftie]

Cause baby we’re the scrubber dubbers, the best people in life own a loofah.

[wonderstruck-swift13]

grab your rubber ducky and my hand, i can make the bad guys good for a weekend

[noitsholly]

third floor on the west side me and loofah

[meredithisoutofcontrol]

Long live the suds we soaked through, I had the time of my life bathing with you

[itsallgoodswift]

put the loofah in a bag and i stole the keys, that was the last time you ever saw me

[togrowupthatbeautifull]

This is why we can’t have washed things darling

[stadiumlightsswift]

they say i did something bath

[twostepsaheadtay]

this soap is treacherous, this path is slippery

[wonderstruck-swift13]

i’m sorry… the old taylor can’t come to the phone right now. why? OH cause she’s a LOOFAH!!

[taylorswholeroom]

put your duck close to mine… as long as they don’t quack

[taylorswift]

The sound I just made was not so much a laugh but a feral screech THIS CONTENT IS WHAT I LIVE FOR

[florhalmist]

[yourivygrows]

anyone else already a slut for track 5 on TS7

[jessica154blog]

[infiniety]

love’s not a game, so why are you trying to play me?

[gfn-xoxo]

[zodiacspot]

More fun Zodiac facts here

[liveasborn]

[jessica154blog]

[lost-in-taylorland]

Guys she wore a new delicate dress because the tide pod would just dissolve in the rain

[taylorswift]

Thanks Mack I just spit out my drink laughing at this

[lifeasme1997]

Let’s be honest, I use this to reblog Taylor Swift at this point