HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY*

  "i have scars on my palms and the insides of my fingers. there is blood in my mouth and staining my clothes. i have died too many times to count and come back again stronger. ( are you proud of me, momma? are you proud of me, pappa? )"

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ﾟ ARDEN & OLIVE *

@lifecftheparty​ @oliveam​

she  was  quick  to  shake  the  shock  from  her  face ,  instantly  jumping  into  motion  after  fazil’s  brief  altercation .  making  eye  contact  with  olive  across  the  table  they  were  standing  at ,  arden  skimmed  the  contents ,  hands  reaching  out  to  grab  the  bottle  of  wine  chilling  in  a  bucket  on  the  guest  table  behind  her  and  a  bowl  of  pretzels  from  the  one  in  front  of  her ,  handing  them  to  the  other  girl .  grabbing  the  cloth  napkin  someone  had  left  on  the  table ,  she  scooped  out  a  handful  or  two  of  ice  and  gathered  it  up ,  hastily    following  after  the  others .  once  they  were  decently  separated  from  the  block  party ,  arden  didn’t  hesitate  to  situate  herself  on  the  floor ,  back  against  the  brick  wall .  looking  up  at  them  she  waited  a  moment  before  speaking , “ well …  are  you  just  going  to  stand   there  or  would  you  care  to  join  me  on  the  ground ?  i  made  sure  we  had  refreshments . ” a  smile  breaks  across  her  face  at  her  refreshments  joke ,  hoping  it’ll  calm  them  down  from  their  rapid  exit .  

tonight was a fucking MESS . not the fun type either , but instead the type of mess that created an impossible stain to get rid of , its blotched appearance seeping onto his skin , sticking onto fazil . his whole evening , TAINTED , soiling what should have been a carefree weekend . he was pissed , anger contorting his usual friendly features , he was ready to explode  — close to not caring who got hit with the collateral shrapnel . it was any second now , but before the implosion could continue , arden whisked him away , stealing a wine bottle in the process . he tried calming himself down , a long exhale emitting from his mouth . the fire in his eyes slowly dying as he watched the both of them , lowering himself onto the floor .  ❝ as shitty as this is right now , this still isn’t the worst party i’ve been to ,  ❞ a joke , an attempt to ease the tension that riddled his tendons . he didn’t like being like this , but FUCK , was it hard to shake . his vision shifted towards arden , a wanting glance focused on the wine ,  ❝ please , can i have a swig of that .  ❞

[stilestiliinski]

[givlianas]

( & @lifecftheparty ! )

[lifecftheparty]

❝ Rendezvous Au Printemps  ❞ →  Cape Coral Event 2 !

fazil doesn’t even think he looks good in white  — let alone formal wear . he never was one to flaunt his wealth , however , he was no stranger for events like these  — his closet was FULL of retired suits and slacks from the numerous banquets and charity events he was forced to attend before . fazil likes to act as if he’s above things like this , but the $ 36,000 rolex adorning his wrist tells a different story . along with his brother’s dior button down ( that no doubt will be returned with a few stains ) and burberry slacks draped around his legs , he just LOOKED like he was made out of money . as if the dirty nikes on his feet could tear away the attention from the fact that he indeed was .

[ostcntatious]

’ 𝖗𝖎𝖈𝖍 , 𝖘𝖕𝖔𝖎𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓 ’

a  summary  of  the  cape  coral  students  .  again  .

@axelroy ,  @lifecftheparty , @ftaislinn , @of-dxnger , @rockcfellers , @chvrchfm , @griffn , @samifms , @witherins !

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ﾟ ELIAS *

ELIAS  COULDN’T  REMEMBER  HOW  LONG  HE’D  BEEN  TALKING  .  sometimes  ,  if  you  didn’t  stop  him  ,  he  would  just  keep  going  .  he  didn’t  even  realize  that  fazil  wasn’t  paying  attention  until  fazil  told  him  he  wasn’t  paying  attention  .  his  excuse  ,  though  ,  elias  couldn’t  argue  with  that  .  he’d  definitely  halted  conversations  when  his  favorite  bridge  came  on  .  “  no  man  ,  i  get  it  .  i  think  i  was  just  too  in  my  own  head  anyway  .  ”  like  fazil  would  care  about  his  inner  conundrum  about  being  friends  with  both  PIP  and  OPHELIA  .  “  what  song  was  playing  ?  ”

IF THERE WAS A MALE COUNTERPART TO FAZIL , it would be ELIAS . the two of them were total opposites , and yet , they worked , almost like yin and yang . elias , was obviously the better half , a glimpse to who fazil could be if he wasn’t the KING of bad decisions and harbored the same awkward charm he did . ❝ no dude , you know i’m always here to help you , let it all out , man , ❞ he flashed his companion a reassuring smile before nudging his arm before chuckling to himself. ❝ nope , you’re not getting out of this one . what i’m listening to isn’t even important — i want to hear what troubles my up and coming casanova got himself into . ❞

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ﾟ GIULIANA *

     prior to her breakup ( and all of the familial drama that ensued ) , giuliana never really felt the need to use substances as an ESCAPE. her reality and the ivory tower in which it was set were both shiny enough for her to get through her days without requiring an additional boost. but , as with the passing seasons , she’s changed , suddenly finding solace in the way smoking on her and lucia’s large deck ( or on one of the many other locations in their apartment ) allows her mind to QUIETEN. thoughts pertaining to axel , her parents , her sister , her grades , her future all seem to come to a screeching halt , her focus solely available for whatever is tangibly in front of her. of course , this delicious interlude comes at a cost , one she’s found it far more pleasant when shared , and which has led to a brand new friendship. ❝ i was handing you a vip invitation to come to casa giuliana and tell me all about your INNER DEMONS over a joint , but it seems you’re otherwise occupied , so i might just go find another friend. no hard feelings , right ? ❞ she quips , offering the other an unbothered shrug , whilst doing a terrible job at masking her amused grin.

NEVER WAS THERE A DULL MOMENT IN HIS HEAD ━ a fragmented mind split down the middle , a desolate environment where both sides remained at war , a constant power struggle that never moved from the harrowing state of a stalemate . leaving fazil to decipher the clash on his own , the opposing voices often creating a cacophony so excruciating he did anything to deafen it . giuliana was a friend he made from the mutual frustration ━ thoughts that just wouldn’t SHUT UP . it was rare he even spoke about the things that tormented him , and giuliana was hardly the exception , usually only hearing less than vague details about his problems . but right now ? one of their rooftop smoke sessions seemed MORE than needed .   ❝ hey , hold on ! you know i’m the only friend of yours worth doing that with ! ❞ he quips , smiling back in an attempt to salvage the situation . ❝ you know i’m not busy , name the time and i’m there ! ❞ a glance is shot her way , playful eyes altering for the slightest of seconds ,  ❝ so what caused the need for this spontaneous sesh’ ? ❞

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ﾟ TYBALT *

            tybalt’s   spent   his   entire   life   unable   to   care   for   his   sister   the   way   an   older   brother   should   .   every   time   sympathy   was   shown   to   her   ,   a   slap   on   the   wrist   .   every   attempt   to   comfort   her   was   met   with   poison   spit   at   him   –   he   learned   early   that   he   was   an   older   brother   by   BLOOD   ,   but   not   by   much   else   .   tybalt’s   never   lost   the   instinct   ,  though  –   the   pull   in   his   gut   when   something   is   wrong   ,   when   someone   has   lost   touch   with   their   potential   to   be   something   better   .   fazil   ,   a   lot   like   the   heirs   &   heiresses   he’s   grown   up   with   .   reminds   him   of   royalty   who   don’t   want   the   crown   ,   partying   to   forget   –   something   ,   to   put   whatever’s   in   their   life   behind   them   .   they   hide   behind   pills   &   champagne   glasses   filled   to   the   brim   ,   dragging   their   bodyguards   behind   them   while   they   throw   balls   to   ignore   the   real   world   .   he   knows   it’d   be   him   too   ,   if   he   had   a   little   more   freedom   ,   if   the   restraints   around   his   wrist   weren’t   burning   metal   brandished   into   his   skin   .   ❛   how   would   you   know   ?   fazil   ,   i   know   that   you’re   more   than   capable   of   being   responsible   ,   but   i   don’t   know   if   you’ll   ever   believe   it   yourself   .   ❜   he   can   hear   it   ,   how   he   sounds   like   fazil’s   dad   –   he   sounds   like   someone’s   dad   ,   the   words   make   his   skin   crawl   .   ❛   whatever   ,   what’re   you   doing   this   weekend   ?❜

HIS ACTIONS HAD ALWAYS BEEN UNDER A MICROSCOPE , scrutinizing eyes picking him apart , forming a list of his intolerable flaws that demanded to be fixed . fazil was far from the perfect image he was intended to be , prophesied to be the family’s golden boy , the one to help carry on their legacy , instead turning out to be the family’s most shameful secret . he had been labelled a disappointment the minute he strayed from the path paved for him , his parents doing what ever they could to force him back on track . but it only made him push back harder , pushing so far he fell from the pedestal he stood on , and this time , no one cared to help him back up . fazil couldn’t help but do the same thing to tybalt , it was only in his nature to break down the box people tended to shove him in . unlike his parents , though , tybalt’s push for him to be better seemed more out of care than anything , a sentiment that fazil cherished , though he’d never let the other know — he was sure tybalt wouldn’t want to , either . pursed lips tried to mask the fact his words meant something to him , exasperated eyes in place of sincere ones . ❝ honestly man , i’ve tried it before . it literally physically pained me and it SUCKED , it’s not fun . besides , being irresponsible looks better on me , ❞ he could never hold being genuine for too long , not before his front urged to come up again . hearing his next sentence , fazil’s glad he drops it , a sigh exiting his mouth before answering. ❝ uhhh , well , let’s see ... ❞ he pauses , before coming up short , ❝ honestly , probably just the usual , maybe i’ll start a new painting . how about you ? what poor person do you plan on murdering this saturday ? ❞

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ﾟ  YOUSEF  *

yousef feels like shit. he hasn’t had anything to drink, smoke, snort or swallow for a few hours now- and it definitely shows. his face is dark, and shadowed. his entire body feels  s l o w and LAZY. he hates this feeling. everything hurts. intrusive thoughts enter his brain and won’t leave. it’s half the reason why yousef had called up FAZIL . the guy is a one-stop-shop pharmacy of all illegal kinds, and yousef always got his fix . as fazil speaks up, a smile briefly pushes through yousef’s dark features. his eyes immediately zero in on the pills. his entire body PULSATES for them . “ fuck yeah man , fuck - you have no idea . . how much i need that right now. “ his voice sounds raw, and a little desperate. he’s already fumbling for his wallet - pulling out NOTES and not even caring as to how much it is . “ how much for all of it ? “ yousef is ALWAYS up for it . it’s funny to think that he’d barely touched drugs before this year, and now it’s like he needs them to SURVIVE even one hour in the real world. “ can always count on you, fazil. you’re the fuckin’ MAN .” 

HE KNOWS THE FEELING ALL TOO WELL ━ there were few times were fazil tried to quit cold-turkey , cutting off the only thing that gave him the breath of life , halting whatever he was ingesting at an attempt to be better . but the process felt like a prolonged descent to HELL , a long fall to agony , every torturous second being harder to tolerate than the last . minutes felt like hours , pains so harsh they twisted his reality ━ how could he be better when he felt ten times worse ? even a few hours of withdraw can be excruciating , fazil knows this , so he shakes his head at the money , pushing yousef’s hand back to his wallet . ❝ nah man , it’s on the house today , don’t even worry about it . ❞  for a second , he relishes in the compliment , the small feeling of accomplishment causing another slight smile to appear as he fumbles through his bag . ❝ rough weekend or something ? how’d you run at so quick ? ❞ despite his words , there’s no judgement in his voice , as if HE could ever judge him , more than anything it was just curiosity . finally getting what he was looking for , he plops one into his mouth before handing it to yousef , an amused expression coloring his face as he swallowed , ❝ here , now we can be rolling together . ❞

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ﾟSYLVIA *

        *  she  hadn’t  meant  to  bother  him  .  peace  and  quiet  was  a  commodity  at  cape  coral  .  smuggled  away  in  little  bits  or  not  at  all  .  in  this  case  ,  she  was  robbing  him  of  it  .  still  ,  the  brunette  waits  ,  patiently  flipping  through  her  notebook  of  observations  until  he  finally  pays  her  attention  .  once  he  does  ,  she  shifts  to  sit  next  to  him  -  smiling  back  just  as  brightly  .  ❛  i  could  tell  ,  ❜  she  murmurs  as  she  grasps  the  earphone  and  holds  it  up  to  her  ear  as  she  takes  out  a  pen  so  that  she  can  write  as  people  walk  by  .    ❛  mind  if  i  listen  too  ?  i’m  always  looking  for  good  music  .  ❜  okay  ,  fine  .  maybe  sylvie  had  been  meaning  to  impose  .  especially  as  she  raises  an  eyebrow  at  him  .  ❛  i  was  also  wondering  if  you  took  good  notes  in  class  today  .  i  wasn’t  …  able  to  focus  .  ❜

INNOCENCE WAS A FORGOTTEN FEELING , buried deep within the debris of his corrupted mind , it had been a feeling he hadn’t felt since the age of twelve . even in his surroundings , everyone at cape coral were blemished with flaws , all noticeably sticking onto them like depraved leeches . slyvie was the exception to this , her aura seemingly ANGELIC when compared to the sinful souls that stalked through the halls . maybe that’s why he felt pulled to her , protective almost of the naiveté she carried , which , included himself . even though his vices always found a way of glistening through . his features took on a much more gentle look when facing her , using warm smile greet . ❝ aw , my bad slyv , you know i would have paid attention if i knew it was you . ❞ he nods , letting the music continue it’s melody , now low enough for them to still carry a conversation . eyebrows match hers as he listens to her request . while her words were pure , he knew what amoral thing hid behind them ; every overly ambitious student’s gold — adderall . deep down , he knew someone like her should NOT be involved with him and what he offered , any of the foul capsules he carried should be things that she shunned . but his good nature was far from present , his clouded mind always seeming to have lapses of judgement . ❝ i mean , i did , but if we’re comparing them to your standards they probably won’t help much , ❞ a lighthearted joke before his tone took one a bit more humorless . ❝ hmm .. what are you getting at ? ❞ he made it known his coyness was act , his smirk dancing upon his face as if it was teasing her . though he didn’t hold it over her head for long , head cocking to the side as the act dropped , ❝ you ran out ? need a re-up or something ? ❞

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ﾟ BAILEY *

it really wasn’t hard to catch that look in his eyes - it kind of resembled the look on her face when she’d burrow herself away into her mind for safety. which was partly why she waited for him to come back on his own - she’d let fazil confirm he was back with her on his own. she recited some verses of her own poetry to him to act as if she was speaking, really the only way she’d ever publicly say the words she’s written. “i know,” she confirmed once he spoke again, tilting her head slightly in amusement, “that’s why i’ve literally just been saying nonsense to you.” she rested her book on her lap before continuing. “no, no, be my guest, listen to more songs.” her words were good-natured, but still definitely dripped with blunt sarcasm. she couldn’t blame him too much when she was pretty good at the spacing out thing herself. tuning out became a necessity sometimes. “i’ll give you credit though because you were being honest.”

WILDFIRES WERE FEROCIOUS AND DEVASTATING , chaotic beings with no mercy , no pity to what it came in contact with , burning them into pitiful bundles of ash . and while on the outside , fazil stood calm , one took place inside him , the red heat slowly eating him alive , singeing whatever poor soul his fingers touched . wildfires were destructive and so was HE , the hungry flames never taking a break , churning inside him until he broke . usually the solution was something far less orthodox , but sometimes , there were things that could tame it , one of them being bailey . where flames took place inside of him , gentle ocean waves took place inside of her ━ while his effect was damaging , hers was soothing , even being able alleviate his worst pains ( just for a little bit ). and for that , he greatly appreciated her , her company ALWAYS being welcomed . a smile tugged at his lips as her sarcastic words met his ears , newly brightened eyes glancing at hers , ❝ admittedly that wasn’t cool of me ━ you have FULL permission to call me a dick . ❞ sliding his phone in his pocket , he showed her his empty hands , ❝ see ? i won’t make that mistake again though ! at least during this conversation . ❞ his body took on a much more ‘lax position as he spoke to her , his face still beaming from earlier . ❝ honesty is the best policy ! speaking of which , what did you think of my painting i sent you ? does it look bad ? be honest ! ❞

[tvdversegifs]

LANDON KIRBY in Legacies (Season Two)

[lifecftheparty]

↪  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ for @ostcntatious

HE WAS USED TO BEING KEPT SECRET ━ in his house , his name fell on hushed lips , his entire being a disgrace. his family was always fearful of how his sinful shadow would reflect back onto them , no love for the broken boy who struggled to keep his pieces together. instead , damnation , hiding his defeated body in the closet for no one to see. here , people hid him for a different reason , less did it have to do with him but more so of what he delivered. ophelia was a special case, though. she wasn’t family or customer , and yet , eyes would avert when he was near , lips would twist when he acknowledged her , and the times they would talk it was done STRICTLY in private. fazil wasn’t an idiot  ━ he knew who she was and the image she upheld , he knew he didn’t fit into that perfect mold ( he never had ). still , she was a friend , and he could tolerate a few eye rolls in the hall if it meant keeping her as one. he approached her now , finding her at the more secluded parts of the school.  ❝ ok look , before you get mad at me , i’ve scoped out the whole area. there’s nobody around , so i think it’s safe to talk to me , ❞ a playful tone coated his words before his feet halted before her,  ❝ how are you  ━ IF that’s okay for me to ask. ❞

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ﾟ TYBALT *

                                                               *    ──           an  expensive  cigarette  is  situated  between  his  lips  ,  lit  by  an  exquisite  one  -  of  -  a  -  kind  lighter  that  can’t  be  found  anywhere  else  on  earth  .  even  when  doing  something  as  lethal  as  smoking  ,  tybalt  does  it  with  an  obscene  amount  of  money  .  most  times  ,  he  initiates  conversations  –  the  average  human  unable  to  hold  his  gaze  for  too  long  ,  unwilling  to  say  a  word  to  him  while  living  in  the  fear  that  he’ll  say  something  unsavory  to  them  .  fazil  is  a  happy  exception  ,  someone  who’s  never  feared  his  status  or  his  aura  &  initiated  their  first  conversation  .  still  ,  tybalt  knows  he  can  be  a  bit  bubble  brained  ,  a  bit  reckless  with  his  actions  &  if  he  wants  to  be  friends  with  the  male  ,  tybalt  knows  he’ll  have  to  clean  him  up  .  ‘  no  .  ’  he  replies  .  ‘  i  wasn’t  talking  .  or  maybe  i  was  .  fazil  ,  if  i  just  offered  you  the  job  of  your  dreams  ,  you  would’ve  missed  it  .  ’  his  voice  is  tough  ,  snappy  like  he’s  talking  to  one  of  his  employees  .  ‘  you  need  to  pay  attention  ,  you’ll  miss  too  many  things  if  you  continue  to  –  do  your  thing  .  ’

HIS ENTIRE BEING WAS AN ORCHESTRA OF BLARING FAULTS ; the howling horns that screeched out his insecurities and the whimpering voices that murmured his fears , made up the sweet melody of his agony. a boisterous sound that it was , there was hardly anyone who listened to it. his facade acting as a great buffer , muffling any noise that could get out  ━  besides , who cared about the guy who was always having until they wanted to have a good time , too ? there were few who perked their ear up , paying attention long enough to hear his silent cries   ━  tybalt being one of them. perhaps it was out of care , but fazil liked to believe it was him just being observant. perceptive eyes caught signs , and now curiosity came to collect type-of-thing. he was unsure , but tybalt wasn’t too annoying about it and he made good conversation , so , he didn’t mind. bloodshot eyes only concern themselves to blink at his words , a fidgeting lip fighting the urge to show amusement. it still comes out though , the shadow of smile hinting itself on his features as a sharp intake of air expels his nose.  ❝ man , you sound like my dad ,  ❞  he muses , smile growing as his pseudo-serious demeanor fades ,  ❝ besides , i don’t think i’d ever have to worry about getting a job offer from you. you’d never trust me with kind of responsibility , and that’s okay ! i wouldn’t either , honestly.  ❞

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ﾟ MILAN *

MILAN  WAS  RANTING  ABOUT  FENCING  PRACTICE  ,  not  that  many  people  could  relate  to  it  ,  the  team  wasn’t  that  big  .  as  per  usual  ,  a  cigarette  dangled  between  his  lips  ,  words  slightly  muffled  as  he  kept  his  mouth  from  opening  too  much  and  risking  losing  the  stick  to  the  ground  below  .  only  after  a  few  moments  of  his  incessant  rambling  did  he  notice  the  other  was  paying  no  attention  whatsoever  ,  leaving  milan  in  a  a  state  of  frustration  .  though  ,  who  was  he  to  get  mad  at  someone  for  not  listening  to  him  ?  he  seldom  returned  the  favor  .  after  drawing  in  a  deep  breath  and  dropping  the  half  burnt  smoke  to  the  ground  ,  he  looked  to  the  other  again  and  shook  his  head  .  “  it’s  fine  ,  was  just  going  on  about  fencing  ,  ”  he  muttered  quietly  ,  arms  crossing  his  chest  .  “  got  a  jab  to  my  junk  and  even  with  the  padding  it  fuckin’  hurt  .  then  i  get  back  at  them  for  smackin’  them  on  the  side  of  the  head  and  suddenly  i’m  in  the  wrong  ?  it’s  just  bullshit  is  what  it  is  .  ”

HE WAS A FAULTY STRUCTURE  ━  a muddled mess of limbs and fractured hinges , with dust beginning to accumulate on his broken frame , it was clear the desire for him to upkeep rotted away like over-ripened fruit. fazil stopped caring about himself the day he realized others didn’t either , why maintain good health when you’re only going to end up alone anyways ? his heart was much like a one-way door  ━ never letting love in , but allowing love out. he may have not cared about the head that barely stood on his shoulders , but his care did extend to other things. like , the earth , who milan was oh - so - nonchalantly DISRESPECTING . milan’s words yet again fell on deaf ears as fazil’s eyes begin to narrow , his grey hues harboring clouds like a soon to be storm. ❝ yeah , yeah. i’ll listen to you about your pretentious larp battles later ━ the fuck was that for , man ?  ❞ he gestures towards the cigarette that lied haphazardly on the ground , brows rising expectantly.  ❝ there’s literally a trash can a few steps away , are you seriously that lazy ? ❞ while he’s not yelling , his normally calm tone took on more of a scolding one , irritation evident in his words.  ❝ you know , normally dude , i would have flicked it back in your face , but you’re my friend so i won’t. can you just go throw it away ? ❞

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ JESSICA *

CLOSED  STARTER  for  @lifecftheparty  !   (   tw   :   drug use mention !   )

                                                                                       FEAR  IS  A  MIND  -  KILLER  ,  they say  ,  an act of total obliteration  ,  and jessica agrees   :  fear  ,  worry  ,  uncertainty  ,  she figures life is far too short  &  the world far too extensive to fret over such things  ,  and so she doesn’t .  saves herself the agony  ,  the suffocation  ,  the infection that rots through your bloodstream   &  eats away at your consciousness .  jessica delaunchy doesn’t believe in it  ,  won’t stand for it  ,  and yet  .  .  .  she’s not totally immune to it .  she can feel it now  ,  that faint distress signal  :  the itch in her chest  ,  the pressure of a crease between her brows .  she’s watching him ,  and she feels it  ,  and it shouldn’t bother her but it does .   ❛  dude ,  it’s like  ━  ten thirty .  ❜  an elbow clips the side of his  ,  enough to get a reaction  ,  enough to see bloodshot eyes  &  droplets of sweat forming on his crown .  she shouldn’t be one to judge  ,  because she’s just as bad when the sun sets  &  she needs to feel that buzz  ,  but the difference is this  :  she does it to feel alive in the moment  ,  not because going without would feel like dying .  her tongue tsks against the roof of her mouth  ,  and she taps the imaginary watch on her wrist for dramatics .   ❛   it’s not party o’ clock until five  ,  minimum   ━   and i thought you had classes ?  finger painting  ,  or some shit .  ❜   she sounds like a mother hen  ,  someone who truly cares  ,  so she swiftly averts her honeyed hues  &  lifts her shoulders into something nonchalant .  (   what she really means  :  this is serious  ,  i’ve noticed.  what she really means  :  i’m getting worried about it .   )    ❛  anyways  ,  have you seen my denim jacket ?  the one that has the ‘ plato is daddy . ’ patch ?  philosophy class just isn’t philosophy class without it  ,  and i know you were jealous  ,  so .  ❜      

 PAIN HAD ALWAYS BEEN FAZIL’S BEST FRIEND  ━ a sickly man , consumed by despair and RAGE , so much so it infested his bloodstream , seeping onto his skin and laced itself within his touch. PAIN clutched onto fazil’s hand for dear life , it made home with him , breathed down his neck , and refused to leave no matter how often fazil PLEADED for him to. pain became his shadow before he even had his own , reminding him of the guilt he harbored , holding it over his head like strings on a puppet. pain became fazil , his despair and rage becoming his own ; it was all he could see in the mirror  ━  no longer was he the curly-headed boy with a bright smile and his future ahead of him , but a man with dark circles that rivaled the black nothingness of the night , and a mind that succumbed to misery. the solution ? three lines of crushed up morphine , just to get by. he wasn’t proud , if anything , he felt ashamed , fruitless , and above all , WEAK. but if it meant he could hide from the devilish man who twisted his reality and haunted his dreams ? so be it. with the look on jessica’s face , he suspects the worst  ━ does she notice ? is she ashamed of him , too ? his fears are confirmed as he listens to her speak , trying to hide the wince that begged his features to appear. his head working double time to come up with a suitable reply , one that DOESN’T showcase his hurt.  he sees no point in hiding the truth , jessica is too smart to be fooled by his shaky lies, ❝ well , it’s five o’clock somewhere right ? are you sure you’re not just jealous you’re not taking part in this, too ? ❞ he jokingly raises his eyebrow , holding a playful smile long enough to avert her concern. why couldn’t she ignore it , turn a blind eye , and look the other way just like everyone else ? he knew the answer to that question , but playing coy and sipping the sweet bliss of ignorance was better than choking on the truth.  ❝ it’s art history , and it’s the exact reason i ( need ) want to be high ,  thank you very much.❞ after all , he would rather be recognized as a bad student than what he really was. he keeps eye contact with her , grey eyes going soft , as if they were praying for her to drop it. and luckily , she does , just for a second , but fazil sees it as a big enough window of opportunity to jump through.  ❝ i’m pretty sure it’s somewhere in my closet , or actually i might have it on display as a trophy , i’m not quite sure ...❞ his voice trails off , returning along with the company of a flirtatious smirk , ❝ you could always come over sometime and find out , though. ❞

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ﾟ 𝒟𝒜𝒱𝐼𝒩𝒜

“ you SUCK , fazil . if you don’t want to hear about my latest CROSS STITCH design, just say so . “ davina says, although there isn’t a hint of malice or annoyance in her voice. she reaches over and gently flicks him on his nose. “ nuh. nope. nuh uh. you can’t , like, come CRAWLING BACK to me now, begging me to repeat myself. i have , like,  more dignity than that, i’ll have you know. “ then again, technically it was davina’s fault. she had seen fazil from behind, and had immediately started gushing to him about her latest design. she hadn’t noticed he’d had EARPHONES IN until it was too late, and honestly - davina kept talking anyways. even through his blank look . he’s been OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE . a part of davina is slightly concerned that he could be on something, which wouldn’t be the first time for him anyways. but at SCHOOL is quite adventurous for him. she doesn’t mention it yet, though.  “ what are you listening to, anyways ? i could always do with new song recs . “ she reaches for the earphone he just dropped, and cautiously slips it into her own ear, waiting for him to press play.

❝ do i ever ? ❞ he cocks a brow , before a smile returns to his face , correcting himself before she could protest.   ❝ kidding ! you know i’ll always listen. plus , when they make a documentary about you , i want to be credited as the supporting friend. ❞  fazil truly didn’t mind hearing about her artistic endeavors. davina was one of the few people who’s ties to him didn’t revolve around the paraphernalia stuffed in his bag. he appreciated that they could talk about mundane things like cross stitching , instead of being cross-faded. ❝ i know you do ! but i don’t have enough dignity to not beg , so  ━  please ? i feel bad. ❞ fazil always had a drifting mind , today though , it had taken a trip down the lazy river , slowly floating off to the wrong consciousness. with an imagination that liked to take over , his mind being elsewhere happened often , but there was something else aiding him in the case. he tried his best to hide it from the other , straining his ears to listen and yelling at his brain to focus. ❝ oh , no , no,  ❞ he protests , head playfully shaking as hands quickly go to stuff his phone back into his pocket ,  ❝ you already judge me on my fashion sense , i am NOT about to have you shame me for my music taste , too. ❞

[lifecftheparty]

→  ☾* ✧･ﾟ 𝐿𝒰𝒞𝐼𝒜

       maybe lucia is more OBLIVIOUS than she thought. she’s not exactly sure how many minutes passed by where she assumed fazil was listening to her, but she abruptly stops the moment she realizes he’s not. her eyes narrow at him, waiting for him to give her the time of day. lucia wanted to pride herself on being a PATIENT person, however, that would’ve been a complete lie and the way her foot taps while waiting for fazil to come back down to earth proves so. “yeah, i can tell you weren’t listening.” she rolls her eyes, though she means no harm. she hadn’t noticed the earphones he was supporting and was so quick to assume the WORLD focused on just her. “i think you need to carry a big sign with you that tells everyone you won’t be listening if a good part of a song comes on and to not be blamed for any future actions.” her nose wrinkles, hoping fazil sees the humor in her words. “but are you going to tell me the good part of the song or am i going to have to assume you’re finding a way out of talking to me and hearing my voice?” she raises an eyebrow, waiting on his answer while a playful grin tugs on her lips.

FAZIL HAD NO TROUBLE IMAGINING A BETTER WORLD  ━ painting over the grey sky with the vibrant colors of purples and pinks , adding leaves to otherwise dead trees , hushing the nefarious man on his shoulder , who TAUNTED him with every word he uttered. his ability to do the last one waned  ━ he wasn’t strong enough to do it on his own , at least , not without some extra help. only then could he plaster a wax smile over his otherwise emotionless lips , the same one he was providing the girl in front of him. ❝ aw , c’mon , i’m sorry !  ❞ he pouts , mouth folding into an animated frown ,  ❝ i’ve changed my ways since these last few seconds of conversation !  ❞ he laughs at her words , he was sure most believed he wouldn’t be listening , period.  ❝ i don’t think a sign is really necessary. you might be the only one in this place who expects me to not do that. ❞ grey eyes illuminate for the smallest of seconds at the chance rave about the song he was listening to , not hesitating to speak up  ❝ alright , alright. since i can see you’re dying to know  ━ you know when you can tell the song is just leading up to a powerful bridge ? it was kinda like that , but replace the bridge with a guitar solo. ❞