Life. Lessons. LEGO.

i loved playing with LEGO as a child. now that i'm older, i still love building things - it's just that now i'm building life. and my LEGO pieces? ... lessons. plastic is bad for the environment anyway.

[lifelessonslego]

Rainbow Is The New Black

So Ian Thorpe publicly came out as gay.

Who?

Well, before the world was fascinated by Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte, Ian Thorpe was the golden boy of swimming. He's pretty much all I remember from the Sydney Olympic Games in 2000. And now 14 years later, the world is being reintroduced to him in a different light.

I was at a brunch this past weekend and someone commented, "Everyone's saying it's so brave of him to come out. Coming out isn't brave anymore, it's just normal at this point" ... or something along those lines.

My take? It definitely takes bravery to come out. I think coming out to yourself before coming out to the world is arguably harder. The decision to accept a life that is highly regarded as unideal, abnormal, sinful. The moment when you choose to claim the life you were born into, despite society telling you that it is wrong. The uncertainty of whether or not your family and friends will still be there for you. The threat of being a high-risk target for violence and abuse. The choice to come out is brave. The act of making ANY choice in your life is a display of bravery -- whether it's to quit your job and move cross-country to chase a passion, or to discern and answer the call to celibacy and priesthood, or to get down on one knee and ask the love of your life to spend the rest of his or her life with you ... all these require bravery.

Ian Thorpe's coming out story is a bit more controversial because 1) whoa, where the fck did you come from after all these years? and 2) he adamantly denied the gay rumors in his 2012 autobiography. So why now?

Well, as any openly gay person will tell you - it was the right timing. I think most gay people realize very young in life that they're not like everyone else. It took me four whole years to fully come out to my family after I had come out to friends. I had set deadlines for myself that kept getting pushed back -- until finally the day came for me to do it, and I knew that it was the right time. I have a good friend who recently came out to us who are his closest friends -- I wouldn't say I was utterly shocked, but I appreciated that this was the time that he felt comfortable finally declaring it. I have a good friend who is out, yet not to his family. I know that day will come and it's simply a matter of time.

People are giving Ian Thorpe a lot of heat for having denied his sexuality so publicly. In doing so, he's seen as someone who was too embarrassed to be a part of this group. Let's be real though -- I'm sure all you gay folks weren't so quick to admit to being gay when you were asked about it during the times you were still trying to figure that part out. Insert photos of your high school girlfriends here. When I was a freshman in college, I remember my mom asking me point blank. I denied it. I knew what I wanted to say, but I denied it. I wasn't ready, and I don't think she was either.

Instead of pointing fingers and chastising Thorpe when he is finally brave enough to come out -- a point all open LGBT folks have had to face -- why not welcome him with the same kind of acceptance that we as the LGBT community continue to seek. If we are to demand it from others, we should certainly be able to find it amongst our own. And then maybe one day, anyone who finds themselves in this position will be able to come out confidently without even thinking twice of what the consequences would be.

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

Photo credit: theguardian.com

[lifelessonslego]

this just in... #seewhatididthere #pricelessaccess @justintimberlake (at Hammerstein Ballroom)

[lifelessonslego]

And As Long As I’ve Got My Suit and Tie

Bongga! Tell a Pilipino crowd to get dressed up for a party, and you’ll find us doing just that… and some. 

I had the pleasure of attending this year’s An Evening In Manila, a black tie affair hosted byMaharlika Filipino Moderno and Jeepney Filipino Gastropub that celebrated Philippine independence and benefitted one of my absolute favorite organizations, ARK (Advancement for Rural Kids). For one night in late May, a mansion on the Upper East Side in New York City was the setting for a showcase of amazing Pilipino-inspired hors d’oeuvres, networking with the who’s who among advocates and social do-gooders within the Pilipino community, and some “get outta my way, that DJ is playing my sooooongggg”-type of dancing.

The crowd was not only raising money to fund feeding programs in rural communities in the Philippines, but also raising the bar when it came to fashion and style. There was a competition for best dressed male and female of the night, and that might have influenced some outfits but I must say, that was one handsome room. See for yourself.

At the last minute, I ditched the bow tie I was planning to wear that night for a piece that was buried within all my other ties. I remembered I had this one neck piece that I bought to wear with the barong I wore to my high school senior prom (yup, that happened). I really don’t remember the last time I had worn it, mostly because it’s an odd-looking piece that doesn’t really go with anything. I always thought it was simple yet loud, classy yet eccentric, bold yet endearing. A single white pearl sat in the middle of it, almost acting as the period in the fashion statement that the neckpiece itself was.

I truly believe that fashion and style have the power to tell stories, and there is always thought, whether conscious or subconscious, that goes into the clothes one picks to wear on any given day. On that night, I suppose that neck piece was a cool thing to wear to a Pilipino-themed event. I mean, the Philippines is the “pearl of the orient” after all, right? Yet, thinking about it more after, I’d like to think that it was a bit more than that.

Just as the neckpiece was buried underneath all the other ties I have, sometimes our Pilipino-ness gets buried too. I know for me, it often times does. It’s always there, yet over time, our environments and situations cover it up. We adapt, we assimilate, we fit in. That’s not a bad thing at all – in fact, I think these are totally essential to growing as a person, but I think the part that gets lost most times is: we remember. In the words of Philippine National Hero, Jose Rizal:

Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan ay hindi makararating sa paroroonan.

or:

“He who does not look back from where he came will never reach his destination.”

We don’t need to be waving Philippine flags, but I think that getting in touch with our Pilipino-ness every now and then is always good. It’s not all of who we are, but certainly a part of who we are, and it’s something that we should remember and celebrate. Whether it’s making a quick stop to Maharlika or Jeepney for a reminder of what your lola’s cooking tastes like, watching a documentary or reading an essay on immigration legislation, or even trying to incorporate cool Pinoy fashion elements into your style, it’s a way to remember.

Maybe hold off on the Ifugao loincloths for Casual Friday at the office though. No one’s trying to remember seeing you in that.

Originally appeared on UniPro on July 1, 2014

[lifelessonslego]

26 Shades of Grey

“Tall hair, don’t care.”

That’s pretty much been my mane (hah) mantra for the past few years. My hair has been my identifier and probably what I get the most comments on, from strangers on the subway, coworkers, and even GQ style gurus.

“What’s in there?” I get asked all the time. Well, I always say it’s where I keep all of my secrets. It’s really nothing more than some fiber gum and really strong hairspray… but I’ve recently discovered that there’s something else in there. Ready for it?

A bunch of grey hair.

It’s an old lola’s tale that using gel would eventually make your hair turn grey. That’s what I was told growing up, but I actually don’t remember a time when I didn’t use hair product. Actually, scratch that – I went through a phase in freshman year of high school when this unfortunate thing happened. I guess I saved some money on hair product, but I now see it was at the expense of my dignity.

In any case, I was looking at my hair in the mirror one day and noticed all the grey strands of hair jutting out. I had a quick “OMG” moment, but then stopped myself from plucking them because another old lola’s tale I grew up with was:

“When you pluck one out, three more will grow.” Was it three? I don’t remember. But it was along the same vein of:

“Don’t shave your mustache or it’ll grow coarse.” What? Damn, lola, enough with the hair advice and just let me live.

Seeing myself in the mirror, 26 years old and growing grey hair made me think back on the days when I was eight or nine years old and we were still living in the Philippines. My dad liked to play this game with my older sister and I, where he would have us sift through his hair and pluck out the grey hairs. We’d get money for each one we’d find. In those moments, my dad was literally a giving tree, with pesos growing out of him.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not at like, silver fox status or anything. I have eight grey strands, and if I had kids of my own to bribe with money to pluck them out, they’d probably decline and say that their reward would not even be worth their effort. But I guess it was just a sobering thought to realize that growing old is a very real thing, and it’s no longer some imaginary rite of passage that seems light years away. It’s here.

I’ll be my dad pretty soon, but I’m also realizing that that’s not a bad thing at all. I’m keeping the grey though. My new mane mantra: “Grey hair. Don’t care.”

Photo credit: Webmd.com

Originally appeared on UniPro on June 23, 2014

[lifelessonslego]

The Circle of Trust: Sticking to Your Own Kind

“You are the company you keep,” as the popular saying goes. The people in your circle of friends are a reflection of you, and you of them — not just personality-wise, but often times physically… and in turn, culturally. I might be generalizing too much here, but I feel that most people tend to “stick to their own kind” when it comes to their best friends.

For the record, I don’t think any Pilipino makes a conscious manifesto to only be best friends with other Pilipinos, nor do I think that white people or black people do the same. I think that certain elements cause that to happen — things like your geographic location, whether or not you were close with your family, etc. Now don’t get me wrong. There are a handful of people I know (myself included) who definitely stick out like a sore thumb in their group of best friends. For example, one of my good friends, Andrea, is Colombian-American and it has been a running joke that she collects Pilipinos for friends, as many of us who are her closest friends are of Pilipino descent.

Maybe this will help explain what I mean a little bit better:

I’ve reached the point in my life where everyone around me is getting engaged and married, and I’m just over here thinking, “I can’t wait to binge watch Veep in front of my laptop because I can ugly-laugh and eat in front of it all I want!” I go to the weddings; I see the photos. White bride, white groom, white entourage. Pilipino bride, Pilipino groom, Pilipino entourage. Black bride, black groom, black entourage.

Again, I’m not saying that all these couples are racist, but it definitely sparks a dialogue on the topic of race — a dialogue not meant to accuse or attack, but one that tries to question and understand. The question I was prompted to ask myself was, “If I were to get married, what would my entourage look like?”

Well, other than the fact that my wedding would probably be unconventional right off the bat, I think my entourage side would look a little like it were a United Nations General Assembly group photo. No lie. And note, I didn’t say an ASEAN group photo. In fact, for the sake of this blog post, I imagined that I was getting married today (…because that’s not awkward at all) and made a list of who would be standing next to me. I came up with nine people. Only two of them are Pilipino. Insert gasp here.

So if it’s the norm in society, why don’t I have all these Pilipinos around me as my best friends? Well, for starters let me reiterate that in no way am I saying that I’ve failed in not having only Pilipinos as my best friends, nor do I feel that others should and always do stick to their own kind. A few concrete reasons come to mind: geographical location and where I studied.

Had my family stayed in the Philippines and not moved to the States when I was younger, then yes — my best friends today would probably be all Pilipino for obvious reasons. My family (thankfully) settled in New Jersey a stone’s throw away from New York City in a town that did not have a large Pilipino community. As a result, I grew up in a public school system that gave me the opportunity to be in class with every color in the box. I was in a youth group that was predominantly comprised of Pilipinos, but I didn’t quite find my best friends there. When it came time for college, I decided to attend a university in Long Island that was 63% white, 7% Asian (and out of that Asian percentage, probably about .5% Pilipino). My college had no Asian Club, let alone a Pilipino Club.

My two best friends from home – German and Angela – are not Pilipino. German is Ukrainian-Israeli American and Angela is Peruvian-American. We are the children of immigrant parents. We speak the language of our forefathers. They may not be my Pilipinobest friends, but in a way – they are. They understand what it’s like to grow up as the different one; they honor the sacrifices their parents made in facing the unknown and moving their families to a new country; they appreciate traditions and respect culture. They take their shoes off when they come to my parents’ house. Here we are purchasing cupcakes for my pretend wedding.

My closest friends may not be my own kind culture-wise, but they are my own kind personality-wise. Friendships are based on experiences and emotions. And for most people, it just so happens that they are cut from the same cultural cloth. I don’t have any glamour shots of my best friends and I taken in swanky studios circa 1998, but I do have vodka shots ready for them when they do finally take their place next to me on my wedding day. Oh wait, I forgot that was just a pretend wedding. Nevermind.

Photo credit: rebelliousbrides.com

Originally appeared on UniPro on June 16, 2014

[lifelessonslego]

took the @findspark #volunteers on a ride with me tonight and told them about the "write" turn i made in my career through #blogging 🚘💻 thx for the opportunity and the #regram, #findspark! (at Centre For Social Innovation)

[lifelessonslego]

Life Before Hashtags: When Heritage Defined Our Screen Names

We all remember that big moment we had to face as young teenagers – that moment when all of a sudden we had this power to make such a huge choice that would impact our pimple-faced lives. It was a moment that required careful thought and a moment that seemed so permanent, that it was literally a matter of life and death.

You know, the moment when we asked ourselves, “What should my screen name be?”

Picture this. You’re 13 years old. Your parents finally agreed to let you spread your wings, leave your AOL Kids account, and join the rest of humanity over on the other side without parental controls. Chat rooms, profiles with HTML codes that were literally more colorful, asking Jeeves whatever your inquisitive mind wanted, and finding Sparknotes for Julie of the Wolves so you wouldn’t have to actually read it for your book report – cue “A Whole New Wooooorld.”

But before traversing this new vast digital world, you had to figure out the nametag you would wear while doing so. Things were so much easier up until this point – before this, choosing your identity was just contingent on your favorite color. My favorite color is blue, so I was always the Blue Ranger when my friends and I would play at family parties. If you were a girl, you would choose to play as Princess Peach in Super Mario. But now, you faced this new pressure of picking your character and it had to somehow tie back to something you were interested in. Even the sample screen names AOL would suggest for us pushed us to do so. Enter screen name (ie. Basketballguy4, Dancegirl123).

What did I choose to tie my screen name to? My Pilipino heritage. Before I knew it, there I was, running as fast (or as slow … if you were still on that pre-Broadband game) as that yellow AOL man, waiting for my life as Pinoydude1125 to begin.

Looking back, I’m not sure if I chose that screen name (or rather SN for the sake of nostalgia) out of genuine interest or pride. I think it’s because I viewed being Pilipino as something tangible to which I could attach an identity. I wasn’t an athlete, didn’t play piano, and wasn’t into video games so creating a SN with those elements went out the window. I was, however, Pinoy. And a dude. And my birthday was November 25th. It was available and it set me apart from my other friends… my non-Pilipino friends.

At 13, I joined a youth group that was predominantly Pilipino. On the last day of camp, everyone was walking around with sheets of notebook paper asking for each other’s SNs to keep in touch. I came home that Sunday with a sheet full of SNs that were all similar to mine, all written in that quintessential girly handwriting of over-pronounced loops and bubbles and that boyish effort of adding tails to every stem to make letters look like graffiti on paper.

And when the chatrooms would happen – forget it. It was a traffic jam that resembled Manila’s highways, complete with the PnayAn63Ls, the iLLpn0ys, the xxFL!pcuti3xxs, the oSoSwtPN@Ys, the FLiPAZNs. Looks like we all latched on to the same thing.

It’s so interesting that, as teenagers, we chose to define our online identities by our heritage. Many of those people at my youth camp were born in the States and didn’t speak an ounce of Tagalog (some didn’t even understand). They could’ve been nawteeNnice374 or chiLL3nvillain512, but maybe they thought, in some way, that those just weren’t authentic enough. Since your teenage years are usually the time when you start to grasp the concept of cultural roots, maybe this was a manifestation of that. Maybe it’s because this was a level of “different” that we were comfortable with among our non-Pilipino friends.

Fast forward to 2014 and those SNs have since vanished (at least among my age group they have). Perhaps it’s because we’ve grown up a little – knowing that one’s heritage is not the sole part of one’s identity and that not having Pinoy or Pinay in a SN doesn’t make you any less Pilipino, and vice versa. Perhaps it’s because we finally did find things we were passionate about and interested in to use as the basis for our handles and account names. Perhaps it’s because we realized that no one could decipher what our actual SNs were with all those damn Xs, 0s, and <3s.

Photo credits: HerCampus.com and PCMag.com

Originally appeared on UniPro on May 24, 2014

[lifelessonslego]

The Real World: Cabo San Lucas

My trip to Cabo San Lucas was awesome. When homie invited me to go and said it would be $40 a person for 7 nights (not per night, but in total), I was like "Done!" faster than you could say "guacamole and cervezas." Being able to celebrate Cinco De Mayo in Mexico wasn't even the main selling point, it was just an added bonus.

While this trip was ten times better than my last trip to Mexico - that trip involved swine flu and a breakup - I will say my trip to Cabo made me realize that I'm not conditioned for relaxing vacations. By the fourth day of lounging at the resort, cabin fever started to set in. I know, I sound like a brat. I'm spending 7 days at a resort and I'm whining. #firstworldproblems. We did do some bar hopping and water sports, but it was definitely a different vibe from the type of vacations I was used to. Thailand, Costa Rica, Europe, and India had me running around all over the place - barely having time to stop and breathe, but I've come to discover that those are the vacations that I love. The vacations that make you so exhausted that you need another vacation when you get back home just to recover.

I think a lot of it also has to do with being a New Yorker. Being herded like cattle during my morning commute, riding the subway, smelling fresh brick-oven pizza one minute and a homeless man the next, stumbling upon street fairs, eating dirty street food ... this was my norm. Lounging around under the sun for 5 hours a day doing absolutely nothing except figuring out how to say "Can I get another one?" in Spanish? Umm, what a foreign concept!

This is something I find both comforting and disconcerting. It's another validation that New York truly is home, but has the rapid pace of being a New Yorker conditioned me to be uncomfortable with brief moments of pauses and silence?

[stephaniecaruso]

Jay Z & Beyonce Pull a Don Draper

When you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation.

[lifelessonslego]

Four Score and Seven Years Ago .. well, kinda.

I recently got the Timehop app. Other than giving me daily reminders of the garbage status updates and tweets I used to post, it occasionally gives me really good nostalgic posts! I got a really pleasant reminder today.

Four years ago today, I participated in a panel discussion that my good friend Emily Miethner was organizing. She was starting a company called promoteYOU and gathered a few of her friends to talk about their internship experiences. We were seniors in college, days away from graduation.

2010 | Steve Gianaca, Mark Sanderlin, Amber Young, Emily Miethner, Eileen Rodriguez, Edwin Raagas

The event was called “How to Land an Internship… and Own It.” We spoke to an audience of about five people. I shared my experience as an intern at the NYSE — a few days after, I got confirmation that the internship would turn into a full-time offer. I spent three years at the NYSE.

The company that Emily started evolved into what is now known today as FindSpark, which has produced 100+ educational career events for more than 8,000 ambitious people. Hundreds of thousands more come to the FindSpark website to find the best job opportunities in NYC and get relevant advice that speaks to them.

I recently joined the core team at FindSpark as its Program Coordinator, and now I get to join Emily in her movement as well as surround myself with a community of passionate and inspiring people.

The original speakers got together back in 2012 during the company’s two-year bash. Where are we now? Steve is an online producer at a publishing group, Mark became my roommate in Brooklyn and now rocks out with The Dirty Gems, Amber is a Volunteer Coordinator at The Franklin Institute and is pursuing her masters, Emily is changing the face of impactful entrepreneurship through FindSpark and MCG Social, Eileen is pursuing a masters at UConn, and I’m managing customer programs at a finance firm.

Sometimes it’s really hard to tell what things today will turn into tomorrow. Four years ago when Emily put this event together, we had no idea she was starting a movement. I’m just happy to have been able to be a part of it from the very beginning.

Be Inspired, Be Connected, Be Successful.

[lifelessonslego]

UniPro Presents “Education For All In the Philippines”

There is a vicious cycle of poverty plaguing the Philippines, and education (or lack thereof) is considered to be one of its main drivers. In an effort to explore this idea and promote dialogue, UniPro hosted an event titled “Education For All In the Philippines,” which featured representatives of organizations doing their part to end the cycle.

Panelists included Cherrie Atilano from Gawad Kalinga, Jay Jaboneta from The Yellow Boat of Hope Foundation, Jerry Topitzer from Advancement for Rural Kids (ARK), and Paul Grimsland from Hope for Change International.

The night began with a brief overview on the current state of education in the Philippines: an already alarming rate of students not going to school was worsened even more by the destruction from Typhoon Haiyan, which displaced thousands of people and diminished schools. Before the panel discussion commenced, the audience was reminded that “education is a basic human right,” according to UNESCO. This set the tone for the dialogue and it became clear that this wasn’t going to be just like any other forum about education; it was going to be so much more.

L to R: Paul Grimsland, Cherrie Atilano, Jay Jaboneta, and Jerry Topitzer

Young children in the Philippines are trapped in a box of illiteracy – the same exact box that their parents and grandparents were born into. The solution, it seems, is to literally think outside the box, and as the panelists expounded on the work of their organizations, the common thread emerged: they were not necessarily the ones providing the education, but instead they were providing the access to education.

Education is very much alive in the Philippines. It exists. There are nursery rhymes to be sung, math problems to be solved, and essays to be written. There are teachers. There are students. The real problem, however, is that education is not physically accessible to every single child.

In reality, “Bueller…? Bueller…?” was “Boyet…? Buboy…? Not because Boyet and Buboy wanted to play hooky and sing in a street parade in awesome 80s clothing, but because the Boyets and the Buboys had to work to put food on their table that night; because they couldn’t afford textbooks and notebooks; because they had to swim across the river to get to the nearest school; because they lived in a community that did not even have a school.

All these root causes are what ARK, Hope for Change International, The Yellow Boat of Hope Foundation, and Gawad Kalinga are tackling in order to rewrite the script. Granted, simply providing physical access to education will not solve the overarching issue of poverty, but it is certainly a start.

The true challenge to tackling poverty lies in the intangible concepts required to actually keep children in school: building confidence, establishing self-esteem, developing accountability, inspiring them to dream, and perhaps the hardest one of them all — getting each one of them to believe that there is actually a way out of the boxes they have been trapped in and that they are in control of their destiny. These are all concepts that need to embraced today in order to truly move the needle on the issue of poverty when tomorrow comes.

A student with Jay Jaboneta, founder of The Yellow Boat of Hope Foundation

In his closing keynote, Jay Jaboneta shared his reason for starting The Yellow Boat of Hope Foundation.

“You always hear stories of kids skipping school to go swimming, but here we had kids who go swimming to go to school.”

Today the organization is the vehicle (both literally and figuratively) for thousands of children being given the chance to go to school in the Philippines. Things won’t change overnight, but through the efforts of Jay Jaboneta and his counterparts in other organizations, the provision of access to education for “some” will someday lead to education for “all.”

—————————-

About Gawad Kalinga

‘Gawad Kalinga,’ translated in English means to ‘give care,’ is a Philippine-based movement that aims to end poverty by first restoring the dignity of the poor. GK began with a simple desire to give care and leave no one behind, and our mission is to end poverty for 5 million families by 2024. We do this by employing an integrated and holistic approach to empowerment with values-formation and leadership development at its core.

About Hope for Change International

Hope For Change is a non-profit humanitarian organization dedicated to eradicating the effects of hunger, illiteracy, and disease ravishing impoverished communities throughout the world. We believe the time is now for an unprecedented humanitarian initiative, pairing communities in East Africa, the Philippines and Indo-Asia who need aid with individuals who can supply aid. Those who receive aid will have their lives transformed from despair to hope. And those who provide aid will experience the transforming power of giving and the enduring satisfaction of having fostered HOPE FOR CHANGE.

About Advancement for Rural Kids (ARK)

ARK is focused on improving education and health of school age children (pre-K, elementary and high school) living in impoverished rural communities in developing countries. By focusing on education and collaborating with an empowered community, we hope to provide the critical tools that will enable every child to dream, carve new paths, seize new opportunities and create a promising future devoid of poverty.  We strive for 100% literacy; drive rural investment and economic vitality; cherish traditions; keep community and family members together; and give farmers, fisherfolks, store owners and other rural residents a chance to lift themselves out of subsistence with dignity and pride.

About The Yellow Boat of Hope Foundation

The Yellow Boat of Hope Foundation was formerly referred to as the Philippine Funds for Little Kids. The Philippine Funds for Little Kids started as a national movement to help children who used to swim to school in the mangrove village of Layag-Layag, Zamboanga City. The idea behind it is to pool our own individual little funds to help these children get to school safe and dry. We are more popularly known as the Yellow Boat Project. Initially, we thought we would just give them the yellow school boats but by now we’ve since move on to helping support them through provision of other school supplies, medical/dental missions to their communities, scholarships and even through livelihood programs.

Photo credits: Jorelie Anne Photography, yellowboat.tumblr, Knights of Columbus, Hope for Change, Advancement for Rural Kids and Smart

Originally appeared on UniPro on April 24, 2014

[lifelessonslego]

Pinoy Ink: Getting Skintimate

I nervously walked up the stairs and followed the sound of rock music. I opened the door. The place was different from what I was envisioning in my head — a lot cleaner, thankfully. Maybe the fluorescent lights just made the place feel… sterile? He asked me what I wanted, I pulled it out and showed him. He said it would probably take an hour or so.

Yo, chill – I was just there to get a tattoo.

Whenever people see my tattoo or discover that I have one, the natural question I get asked is, “What does it mean?” I have yet to figure out a way to explain it in less than thirty seconds. I’m assuming that if I’m able to do so, then I might be able to finish my explanation before being asked to scootch over a bit since I’m standing by the cooler or before being asked to take someone’s group picture (umm, just take a selfie!).

I love explaining it. I’m proud of it. And I guess that’s why I’ve decided to write about it.

The day was July 14, 2010, and I had been in Sydney for a little over a month for an internship program (but it was really an excuse to travel and experience my own version of The Real World: Australia). I had been toying with the idea of getting inked and I knew I wanted to get it done somewhere unique. Being away from home was a little bit of a confidence booster since I didn’t have to hide from my parents as it healed and then get lectured on how good boys are supposed to respect their bodies blah blah blah… This was the perfect opportunity for me to YOLO long before YOLO was even a thing!

The “it” that I pulled out was a piece of paper that had the word “mahal” written in Baybayin (pronounced bye-bye-in). Baybayin is an ancient pre-colonial Philippine writing system.

Why mahal? In English, it means “love.” As well as “expensive.” Wait what’s that sound? The sound of your eyes rolling. Let me finish. You see, my tattoo is about living a life filled not only with love, but also with value.

Up to the point when I was sitting in that chair, I had experienced what it was to love someone, to have someone love me too, to have my heart broken, and to break someone’s heart. I had experienced the love of my family and friends. Everything that love was, is, and would be — I wanted my life to be full of it.

I also wanted my life to be filled with value. Middle school and high school were particularly rough as I was struggling through the ups and downs of figuring out my sexuality, and accepting that part of my life. I knew that being openly gay did not equate to an easy (rather, preferred) life, but I decided that no matter what obstacles or insults would be thrown my way, I would remain steadfast in the truth that my life was worth it. Even more than that aspect, I wanted my life as a whole to be meaningful – through my work, my experiences, my relationships, and even my imperfections.

Why is it on my shoulder? Well, when you love someone, you are a shoulder to cry and lean on. When you lead a meaningful life of value, you’re confident. And when you’re confident, you push your shoulders back and walk tall (or at least as tall as you can walk when you’re 5’6”). Seeing mahal in the mirror every morning is a reminder to myself. Am I changing the world everyday and hugging everyone out there? Absolutely not. But when I see it, I get that little tap on my shoulder (pun intended) that reminds me to at least try.

Why in Baybayin? I knew I wanted something unique. I wanted something that wasn’t so obvious. It ties me back to my cultural Pilipino roots. I thought there was something so poignant in the permanence of Baybayin on my skin. The places where I would live and work and play could all change, but one place that would never change is where I was born: Manila, Philippines.

Another place that would never change is where I spent my childhood, which was in Oman — a small country in the Middle East. The etymology of the word ‘mahal’ is Arabic. My tattoo is literally a fusion of the two cultures that molded me as a child.

Everyone has their reasons for getting inked. My reasons just happen to take more than thirty seconds to explain.

So… did you still want me to take your group picture? Because I would LOVE to.

Photo credit: Christa Orcullo

Originally appeared on UniPro on April 15, 2014

[lifelessonslego]

Published.

So a few weeks ago, I wrote a blog for UniPro about ethnic ambiguity.

The thing with blogging is - it's great to be able to have a platform to write about my thoughts and promote a dialogue surrounding social issues, but on the flip side - how effective is it if no one is actually reading it? Are my thoughts and words leaving an impression on others or am I just writing to an audience of 3? Me. Myself. and I.

Well, today - I found out that my blog actually got picked up by Rappler, which is a major Filipino social news network (a la Huffington Post perhaps?) a few days after the blog went live.

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Post by Rappler.

No comments on the actual Rappler post, but on Rappler's Facebook post of my blog, it got 66 likes, 1 share, and 1 comment. Haha. Hey, I'll take it.

This is pretty cool. Small victory. Looks like we now have a party of 71! Me. Myself. and I. and those 68 other people.

[lifelessonslego]

my first twitter interaction with a brand. and it's food-related. #typical

[lifelessonslego]

I Saw Sparks

I recently joined the volunteer team over at FindSpark. It's one of my favorite groups because:

a. it was started by one of my good friends Emily Miethner

b. I believe so much in the impact it has on young people and the work it does to help my generation learn the tools needed to land not just any job, but THE job

c. I've been a little dry in the passion area, and I needed to be surrounded by creative folks and creative ideas

Last weekend, we hosted a fashion-focused installation of our signature Find & Follow Your Passion Conference co-sponsored with LIM College. Emily was awesome enough to let me come onboard as a speaker manager leading up to the event, and a volunteer manager for day-of.

The conference was an absolute hit. It was a sold-out event with over 40 speakers representing companies like L’Oréal, Ralph Lauren, Tom Ford, Harper's Bazaar, Refinery29, and my personal favorite - GQ, just to name a few. We had over 100 attendees and while it was a long day, it was an absolute pleasure to be a part of such a great meaningful day and to be surrounded by passion, artistry, drive, and inspiration.

There were many aspects of the event coordination that I enjoyed, but none as much as the feeling I would get when an email would come through from a speaker I recommended to Emily and the team saying "Yes, I'd love to be there!"

A personal win for me was getting to meet EJ Samson, one of my speaker recommendations and the person behind one of my favorite Instagram accounts, @ejsamson. By day, EJ is the Digital Director of gq and a constant staple on tons of men's style and Instagrams-to-follow lists. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge fan of the GQ brand - so much so that I themed my 25th birthday party around it. Thanks to a tweet from Emily to EJ, we were able to get him to come and speak on a panel about online presence. He posted a photo of us twinning at the event and even publicly endorsed approval of my hair. Did a GQ style guru just compliment me on my hair? Yes. He did. Thank God I am doing at least one thing right.

I love being a connector. I enjoy tapping into my network, pulling from a pool of talented and well-connected friends and connections, and connecting them with others. I may not be well-versed in the ins and outs of the fashion world, but I am fortunate to have a few who are ... and who are just a phone call, a text, a Facebook message, an email, or even a Tweet away. While I may not have been the one speaking to the attendees in the various workshops and sessions that day, it was a truly rewarding feeling to know that the small footprint I left that day was through bringing in connections to share their insight and stories with the attendees. And on the flip side, being able to provide these pros with a platform to inspire others was equally as rewarding.

If I was feeling this way after just helping put together one conference with FindSpark, I can only imagine the high that Emily and others like her feel every single day doing work like this for a generation that needs it the most.

Absolutely loved working with these fine ladies. Go Team!

[lifelessonslego]

Ain't No Pantry Like a Pinoy Pantry

It’s been about four years now since I moved out of my parents’ house and decided to take a huuuge bite out of the Bigggg Apple and move into… a shoebox. I miss home-cooking (no amount of excited emojis can properly express the taste of my mom’s mechado). However, I realized the other day that despite not living at home, there are a few things in my pantry that are very Pilipino and help bring the taste of home to my new home.

SPAM: Why do I have so much SPAM? I am literally being spammed by SPAM. A little over a year ago, just hours before Hurricane Sandy hit New York, my roommate and I fried two cans of SPAM just in case we wouldn’t be able to cook food for a few days. We ate all the SPAM… before the hurricane even made landfall.

Silver Swan Soy Sauce: Every marinated batch of meat calls for buckets of soy sauce… and Sprite, apparently.

Sardines: The summer after I graduated college, I did a two-month unpaid internship in Australia. Yes, unpaid. I was working and not making money. Whatever pocket money I had was supposed to cover my nights out with friends at the bars and fun touristy activities like climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge and playing with kangaroos. Luckily my office was walking distance to my apartment so I would go home for lunch and eat sardines. Doing that saved me tons of money.

Rufina Patis: Fish Sauce. It is as smelly as it sounds (perhaps even more so), but the taste is magical. Goes perfectly on brothy chicken dishes, which is quite puzzling.

Tang: This is a sorry excuse for orange juice, because I don’t think it’s technically healthy. It’s basically orange-flavored sugar. When I was a kid, I would tap my glass to get the sugar at the bottom when I was done drinking. Actually, I still do this. Nevermind.

Corned Beef: Whenever I go home to New Jersey to visit my parents, you will most definitely find me lugging back the following to Manhattan: a load of clean laundry (I always regret it on the way back, but whatever, I save $5 per load!) and at least two cans of Palm Corned Beef. Although, I always later discover an extra can that my mom stuffs in my bag when I’m not looking. She’s like the Corned Beef fairy. Thanks Ma!

Rice Cooker: Back when I was shopping around for colleges and visiting campuses with my parents, there was this one time when our tour guide was showing us a sample dorm room. When the tour guide asked if anyone in the group had any questions, my mom raised her hand and asked, “Can he bring a rice cooker?” I wasn’t able to bring one to college, but best believe I use a rice cooker now.

Pancit Canton: It’s pretty much Ramen Noodles. Except you don’t feel as broke and sad when you eat it.

Vienna Sausages: You know it’s going to be a good day when you shake them out of the can in one motion and they’re all intact! #smallvictories. But you splashed sausage juice all over your kitchen counter. #youcantwineverything.

Datu Puti Vinegar: With Longaniza. Garlic rice. Fried egg. Done. So done.

Mang Tomas All-Purpose Sauce: Lechon is just not the same without it. (Side note: it is sooo not an “all purpose sauce” like it claims to be. Wikipedia even says so.

White Rice: I’ve been trying really hard these past few months to be healthier and eat brown rice. My roommate and I have even gone so far as to hide our tub (yes, tub) of white rice. But daaaamn, there is nothing as beautiful as a plate of ulam on a bed of steaming, white rice.

Cheap. Delicious. Cultural. Dare I say they are solid hangover cures? And most importantly, guaranteed to help you survive through a zombie apocalypse? Non-perishable goods FTW!

Originally appeared on UniPro on March 27, 2014

Photo Credit: The Perfect Pantry

[lifelessonslego]

A R T P O P (U P)

Today I went to Pawel Althamer's exhibition entitled "The Neighbors" at The New Museum. My favorite parts of his work on display were "The Venetians" and "Draftsmen's Congress."

The Venetians. Faces molded from actual faces of people the artist met in Venice. Bodies and clothing were draped around steel rods by melting plastic and forming it into the shapes he needed.

Draftsmen's Congress. Basically an artist free-for-all. In addition to sculpture work, the artist likes to explore social collaboration and breaking down social hierarchies. Providing a communal space for people young and old to create art together was great. Once you get past the flashbacks to high school art class and trying not to step on someone's freshly painted work, you find that this experience is so much more than a big paint orgy. It's a place where anything is considered art and where people pull inspiration from each other. It's a reminder that everything we create and do in this world is temporary, and we always have the opportunity to improve upon mistakes by painting something else over it.

... and that's why a six-year-old girl decided to paint over the red blocks I spent 10 minutes working on.