Life Ninja

Who are you? And what do you want? My name is Jess and I am a vision and goals coach and life working ninja. I dig deep and uncover what holds you back and stops you from achieving what you really want in life. I am access for you to live a life you love and adore. Life is happening now and "someday, later, next year" ain't in your calendar. You are important, unique, and not the way you wound up being - you just don't know it yet. What would be possible if every area of your life was working the way you wanted it to? Connect with me and let's find out. jessica [dot] muhlbier [at] gmail [dot] com

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It’s easy to remember only the good parts of people if you never see them. Real people are much more complicated.

Cynthia Lord (via thatkindofwoman)

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It's happening #lifeninja at the @juicetruck with @thesocialyoga #goalsalive (at The Juice Truck Store)

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☝️happening this Saturday - a workshop to get clear, grounded and in action with what you want in life. Dreams 👉 reality. Same same. Join me with @ineeeda as we rock out at the @juicetruck space. Hop off the fence and comment to register now or request more info #dreamsgoals #lifeninja #digdeep

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Goal Workshop

Hello fearless friends, 

If you choose, mark your calendars and gear up for a goal workshop in Vancouver. 

The event will include a yoga portion, led by social yogi Anita Cheung, followed by a group goal coaching session. 

Dig deep with me and let's talk goals,

xo Jess

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truth 

[yogaholics]

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Persitent Complaint

What do you think of when you hear the word, complaining? For me, I hear frustrated, annoyed, counterproductive, easy and powerless. 

Complaint: a statement that a situation is unsatisfactory or unacceptable. "I intend to make an official complaint"

As human beings we hold onto a lot of complaints - the speeding ticket you received two months ago, your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, the raise you didn't get, the body you don't have and diet you never really stick to anyway. Whatever you complain about it's likely persistent and you've probably shared it with at least three different people already. 

I'd argue it's normal and socially encouraged to complain. I hear it a lot here in Vancouver.. every time it rains. It's a classic conversation starter, "man, this rain, really sucks hey? I can't take it" 

It's a little bit strange to think about how much we complain to ourselves, in our thoughts, and to each other about things, people we know and people we don't. 

What's it about? Why do we keep those persistent complaints around?

Through my own coaching and training, my stance is that we complain because there is a pay-off, meaning we get something out of it. 

Here are two examples of two juicy pay-offs we experience when we complain. 

Pay-off #1 - right versus wrong (or good versus bad) 

For example, you complain about not getting a raise and your entire family agrees with you. Heck, they are mad with you! You've pulled them into your story. And suddenly you feel a little better, even if you don't want to admit it. Why? Because you are right and your employer, boss or company is WRONG. 

Pay-off #2 - you save face (or 'look good' or someone else 'looks bad') 

For example, Sally and Joe are in the midst of a divorce. Sally complains to her girlfriends about Joe's late nights and drinking. Sally doesn't share her part in their marriage and leaves out her anger and verbal abuse toward Joe. 

What do these two pay-off's have in common? Personal responsibility. When you catch yourself in a persistent complaint, you are likely avoiding personal responsibility in the matter! When you take on full responsibility, you will see access to new and powerful actions. Whether it's asking your boss, 'hey, what can I do moving forward to ensure I do get that raise' or being real and expressed with people in your life. 

When there is a complaint present, there is an impact on yourself and others. Complaining can impact your health and well-being, relationships, self-expression, and self power. 

Get off it! The pay-off isn't worth the cost.

With love,

Jess

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Commitment: A New Perspective

What does commitment mean? 

The dictionary defines commitment as;

feeling dedication and loyalty to a cause, activity, or job; wholeheartedly dedicated.

What does wholeheartedly dedicated mean?

Again, dictionary;

fully or completely committed to something - a specific cause, goal, or outcome. 

When I read and reflect on these words, I hear "actively committing to a specific outcome" and choice - choosing to commit, to whatever it is you want in life. 

If language creates then what happens when we try this example on: I am committed to a loving relationship. 

What actions follow?

In my own relationship, my commitments call me into a certain way of being. For example, I am committed to love, openness, communication. Actions that follow include expressing my love with words and touch, and getting very real with my word. 

Side note: getting real with my word aka integrity, doing what I say I will do, by when I say I will do it. If I cannot keep my word, I get into communication immediately and own whatever happens. *note* this is easier to say than do. It's an ego-free practice and takes..yup, commitment. 

Let's pretend that you too are committed to a loving relationship. What actions might follow for you? Maybe it's to start dating again, ask your man/woman what they appreciate most about you, or schedule a date night every Friday. 

Staying with this example, if I am wholeheartedly committed to my relationship we might be able to say that I want, choose, and therefore am committed to a specific outcome or goal. 

1. Want/desire =  a loving relationship  2. Choice =  a loving relationship  3. Commitment = a loving relationship 

It's the same. I want it, I choose it, therefore I am committed to it. And my actions then follow. What will they be? That's up to me ;) 

xo Jess 

PS I am committed to you loving a great life

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feeling good is the primary intention

Danielle Laporte

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This is it

A coach of mine recently led an exercise and instructed me to take out a fresh sheet of paper and write down everything I want. 

ooo I thought, I like this. 

Out poured my wishes, dreams, and goals for the future - visit Melbourne with my sweetheart, higher paying salary, marriage, own a home. The list went on.

"Now, rip up your sheet of paper". I didn't like that part. 

"You're probably already attached to what you wrote down. Are any of your wants even realistic for right NOW?" 

Hmm, okay, no. And so I began to rip my 'wants' in half, twice over. 

All of my wants were true and valid, yet none of them included a realistic outcome for desire in the now. Moreover, many of them were not even in my control. This led me to get curious about what I want right now, in this moment.

Do I want to create a larger circle of friends, similar to those in Melbourne? Do I want to spend more QT with my boyfriend? If so, what are we doing? What does it look like? Am I saving more to balance my earnings? 

As a human beings we are wired to be forward thinkers, always wanting more and moving quickly to the next big thing. We rarely slow down and acknowledge where we are, right now, because it often isn't "good enough". 

What if...this is it and you are satisfied? Try saying it aloud, "this is it and I am satisfied'. 

This is isn't to say, stop setting goals or thinking about your future. However consider that if 'this is it' then there may no longer be room for attachments, expectations, upset, frustration, or impatience.

Right now could actually be what you want because it is what you have. Choosing how you are, moment to moment, in your "now" will give you happiness and power. 

With love,

[beyondfabric]

Ignoring your passion is slow suicide. Never ignore what your heart pumps for. Mold your career around your lifestyle not your lifestyle around your career.

Making Moves (via thatkindofwoman)

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A lesson in integrity

Do you ever set out to do something and it doesn't get done? You know, the dentist appointment you keep rescheduling, that burnt out light in your kitchen. Maybe it's your taxes or those "non-urgent" emails. Whatever it is, you'll do it later, tomorrow, in a little bit...

I have these giant yellow post-its that I use to capture lists, memos, and 'to dos'. Sometimes a to-do under Monday creeps into Friday and then I'm like, 'what the heck? how did you get here?'. And it's always the simplest of tasks. For real -  'drop off dry cleaning'. And yet a reusable tote sits in my hallway, full of blouses and wrinkled dresses from a Mexico trip I took in February..it's now May, I get it. #safespace

It's not about the dry cleaning, it never is, it's about me saying I am going to do X (dry cleaning) by Y (Monday..Friday?). Again, I will do X by Y time. 

You may say, "Jess - who cares, your unpressed shirts will live" Fair. And in this example my word impacts me and no one else. It's a commitment that no one else sees or hears about so naturally I let myself off the hook. 

It doesn't matter to anyone else if 'Dry Cleaning' moves from Monday to Friday. However, it's something I gave my word to, in my head and on my giant yellow sticky. AND I either do or I don't by a certain time. It's that simple.

You may have some 'dry cleaning' in your life. If you do, awesome, and I invite you to get curious about the impact. In other words, who is affected when you give your word to something and don't commit to it? Yourself? Your friends? Significant other? And if you continue to disregard your word here, there and everywhere, what's the cost? Your peace of mind? Friendships? Trust? 

I don't know because I'm not there, in your life. All I know is that my dry cleaning is leaving early tomorrow morning and I look forward to wearing my freshly steamed party dress once again.

With love,

Jess

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declare what you want 

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Words of Emotion

[henrycharlesbukowski]

Who the hell said you no longer had it in you?

Charles Bukowski  (via thatkindofwoman)

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What's Important to You?

As human beings we rarely think about what is important and really matters in our lives. You may say, "that's easy! My family, career, health, and significant other, matter to me".

Whatever comes up for you is perfect and I invite you to explore how that area of life is working out for you. What's happening in your relationship? At your work? With your health? 

You may discover that what's important to you isn't working out the way you'd like it to. 

For example, family may be important to you and you haven't spoken to your brother in months. There is nothing wrong or bad with that and I invite you to get real about what is important to you and what you are dealing with in that area.  Do they align with what you say matters?

If not, that's okay, because I have a solution. Ready? 

You are completely and 100% responsible for your life and what is important to you. 

"WHAT?! NO WAY! It's my brother's fault that we don't speak"  "I don't have time to workout and therefore my health is suffering!"  "But, my boss is a jerk!" 

Slow down those voices and try it on for yourself: 

I am completely and 100% responsible for my life and what is important to me.

When we are 100% responsible we are free to own what happens in our lives, moment to moment, and we're able to respond versus react. When we are responsible, there is no room to blame, deny, avoid, or cop out on ourselves and others. It's that simple.

You are responsible for the areas in your life that are not working. Whether it's health, love, money - it's up to you to choose what actions you take.

It can take some practice and sometimes feel like hell; however, trust that when you own your sh*t life flows more freely.

If it's meant to be, then it's up to me!

With love,

Jess

[stacyangeline]

To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it.

Osho (via thatkindofwoman)