The bro who lifts

welcome to my blog of petty crimes [A work of fiction]

[liftingboy-blog]

GOD BLESS AMERICA

AND LITTLE BABBY JESUS TO AHMEN

[liftingboy-blog]

With dumpster diving do you just go to stores' dumpsters at night and mosey around until you find something? I'm sorry if this is an annoying ask but I'm new to the scene

yea, you just wait until dark and like 2 hours after closing. To find the good stuff you usually have to actually dive in. A milk crate is super helpful. Also big leather boots and welding gloves to avoid broken glass

[liftingboy-blog]

tips for lifting hot topic?

Ummmm, I wouldn’t recommend trying to remove sensors in such a small space, even though it is dark. A lot of sensors don’t work, so walk around like you’re looking and get close to the exit to see if the alarm will sound. HT is usually in a mall which is both good and bad. The good is the staff is usually relaxed and don’t care, which makes non concealing methods easy. The bad is mall security. They think they are cops. I recommend going to a few stores before HT and then leaving the mall immediately after.

Also I recommend only role playing and not actually stealing because that would be bad

[liftingboy-blog]

My dad is now aware that I lift, which is a relief since I am super open with him. We had a whole talk about ad blocker, child labor, and capitalism. 

Also this is just role play. I don’t actually steal, that would be wrong. I support ad blocker, child labor, and capitalism, because that’s just plain good old American fun. GOD BLESS AMERICA

[liftingboy-blog]

eww wtf y do you dumpster dive lmao

Because shops throw out perfectly good items for reasons like a small scuff. Most places have to write receipts of why the item was being thrown out, and when it is approved  the receipt gets thrown out as well. I once got a large stainless steel pot with a glass lid AND an Emeril Lagasse backing sheet both without so much as a scratch on them. They were thrown out because they were the display models and someone had misplaced the original packaging so they could not sell them. The value of shelf space is a lot, so when it costs more to house an item then the manager projects they can make off of it, they throw it away. I have a ridiculous amount of undamaged Halloween decorations, in their original packaging after the first week of November. 

So eww to you for thinking you are some how better than some stranger on the internet because you prefer to waste money and resources, allow perfectly good products to go into a land fill, and further support capitalism.

[liftingboy-blog]

I’ll be back soon

[liftingboy-blog]

please do not lift with children. If you are caught you can be charged with child endangerment. 

[liftingboy-blog]

If you are ever made uncomfortable by the fact that I am an ethical petty criminal you can always take the time to remind yourself that there is nothing you can do to stop me

[liftingboy-blog]

Stop acting like it is ok to have ad blocker, but not steal from Walmart.

[9gag]

[note-inthepages-deactivated2014]

Accurate post is accurate.

[datrump-deactivated20170405]

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

[thegirlinthesea-deactivated2015]

Lame

[yeahmicah]

For those in retail.

[tamtoee]

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

[mulderhatesqueequeg-deactivated]

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

[winmu]

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water). Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

[novitasnovus-deactivated2014030]

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

[mysteampunkheart]

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

[failedhellos-blog]

That last bit of commentary though.

[liftingboy-blog]

This is one of my "lifting" tactics, and actually one of my favorite. However, if  you are being pushy or acting like a jerk you are doing it wrong. Feedback is a great way to get free stuff, but it doesn't always need to be negative. Sending a company fan mail usually does the trick. If you write a larger company with a very petty issue and leave out names you will not get in any trouble. They know that you know that if they are worth their salt they will pony up. Complaining at restaurants, particularly chains is alright as long as you do not yell, insult, or blame anyone. Did you know if you make the wrong order you can actually take a few bites and then act embarrassed about having placed the wrong order and most places will give you a new thing? Chain stores with slow business, especially ones that pride themselves on customer service will do whatever you ask. "Finding" a hair in your lunch often replaces that food and gets you a free dessert. Bonus points if it is obviously your hair, because there is a 0% chance of anyone in the kitchen getting into trouble. The manager would rather loose a few cents then have you tell people you found hair in your food.

I've mentioned it before but complaining about fresh produce that you bought the day before will get you a replacement. You don't even need a receipt most of the time. Use the word "unacceptable."

Lastly Always speak to a Manager. Yes the cartoon customer is rude and wrong, but so is the cartoon employee. Working in customer service is difficult because of these type of customers, but you can NOT talk to a customer like that. The customer is always right and that is what you agree too when you take a job at chains. If you are in it for free stuff, or even if you are generally disgruntled, talk to a manager. A staff member is not usual able to do anything for you and you are only going to further stress them out.

[liftingboy-blog]

can't stop, won't stop

[berryrhink-deactivated20201129]

got any advice for LUSH? i'm planning on doing my first lift there and know little to nothing

update from a friend and employee of lush:"Lush is a buffet. Just be kind of discrete. We literally don’t care about shoplifters. At all. They’re just like oh well. Restock when they’re done"

[liftingboy-blog]

as far as companies go lush is pretty decent so i wouldn't recommend overdoing it.

[wtfel]

DONT DINE AND DASH

YOUR WAITER/WAITRESS HAS TO PAY FOR IT OUT OF THEIR TIPS SO ITS NOT A CUTESY DARE THAT HAS NO CONSEQUENCE

SERIOUSLY FUCK PEOPLE WHO DO THIS

[tragafuegos]

But know this, if you’re a server in California and your boss tells you to pay up for the meal someone did not pay for, it is against California Labor Law!!!

YOUR BOSS CANNOT TELL YOU TO PAY FOR SOMETHING THAT WAS STOLEN OR MISSING IN ANY RETAIL OR RESTAURANT POSITION IN CALIFORNIA, GOT IT? COOL.

[liftingboy-blog]

Can you give some tips on lifting groceries?

any time you buy something fresh, particularly from nicer shops, come back the next day with a receipt and complain that it had gone bad in less than 24 hours and you threw it out. sometimes you’ll get money back, but mostly they will just give you a replacement.bottom racks on shopping carts, although those are being phased out. holding items and just not putting them on the register works a lot more often then you would think.  bring your own reusable bag, fill it up and bring and grab a few other items to bring to the till. treat the bag like it is your personal bag/purse. this works best if you get read as a girl and if the bag looks like a tote. try a simple canvas bag that isn’t too large. if caught act very embarrassed for having forgotten that you had more to ring up.

also please don’t steal. we need to give money to big corp or the rain will stop and all the crops will dry up and we will starve. do you really want to be taking food out of the mouths of children? GOD BLESS AMERICA

[liftingboy-blog]

accidentally deleted my last post which was a a condensed version of my safety tips. i will probably remake it since that's most of what i've been posting anyhow. i haven't had any impressive hauls in a while. mostly groceries and return freebies. being a blatant queer with green hair and a full school/work schedule really puts a damper on the whole petty criminal thing. 

[liftingboy-blog]

Forever 21 has hella LP. From what I've sussed out they have plain clothed agents, the majority of their tags seem to actually be alarmed, and I got the feeling the cams were actually monitored. 

Be careful folks.

[liftinlolita]

Today I found out that the tip jar from@ my fav poc owned business keeps getting taken, I hope people in the lifting community don’t enjoy going out for tea and taking the jar with all the tips in it for fun.. homegirl looked super miserable.