The Voice and the Pursuit of Mastery

Classical Musician. 25. Reflections and readings on the long path to artistic excellence, and personal development.

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Mein Liebster singt am Haus in Mondenscheine, Wolf

"My lover sings by my house in the moonlight, and I must lay here in bed, listening. I turn away from my mother and weep. My tears are blood, and never run dry. 

I have wept a broad stream by the bed, and through my tears I can't tell if morning shines. In longing, I have wept that broad stream. The tears of blood have made me blind."

This man has taken everything from me. He is erasing me. He is a vampire. I had a moment of strength, told him to fuck off, and he's back. No matter what I say, he won't go. Despite this, I want him so badly. 

My mother is telling me he's terrible, everyone can see it. I know in my heart that it's true, but I also believe that's all I deserve. 

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Dolente immagine di Fille mia, Bellini

"Image of Phyllis, why do you look so forlorn? What else could you desire? I have pour streams of tears onto your ashes.

Are you afraid that, forgetful of sacred vows, I will burn with another flame? Shadow of Phyllis, rest peacefully. The ancient flame will never be extinguished."

I have lost my love to death, and am not moving on out of my vows and desire to be faithful to her. Right now, I can't imagine ever getting over this loss. I will be numb forever. I will never love again. I will never find another of her. 

I don't think that the image is real - she's not a ghost or actually present, I don't even think there is a photograph of her. I think for a moment, I had a fleeting thought of someone else, then returned to my grief, now guilt-stricken. The image of her is within me. She is perfect now, no longer a person, but an ideal. I never want to let her down - but I will. 

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I forgot about my tumblr! The end of the term was steeped in adderall, anxiety, and strep throat so blogging about my lofty artistic goals wasn't exactly on my mind much. 

I need to write a personal mission statement as a voice teacher for my Vocal Pedagogy class, so here it is!

Mission Statement as a Classical Singing Teacher

My goals as a singing teacher are to impart a healthy vocal technique to my students, to help them develop consistent practice habits, to guide them to appropriate and pedagogically advantageous repertoire, and to provide a safe, judgement-free environment for them to grow and develop in the vulnerable process of learning how to sing. I want to hold my students to high artistic and technical standards within their ability, without creating an intimidating dynamic or making them to feel like they are personally deficient if they don’t sing with perfect execution (because, it goes without saying, no one does).

I want to empower my students by stressing that ‘natural talent’ is not nearly as important as consistent and focused practice, and to share strategies to develop positive self-talk, foster self-esteem, and overcome performance anxiety - valuable skills for any pursuit, artistic or otherwise. I want to inform them of their challenges and next steps, while also taking time to reflect on their progress. I want to push students out of their comfort zone, while also respecting their boundaries. I want to be a safe person that a student can turn to if they need emotional support.

Personally, I want to ensure I am continually learning and growing as an artist and a teacher by exploring and familiarizing myself with many pedagogical resources available, so that I can be assured that the information I am imparting is reliable and accurate, and to glean multiple ways of approaching different technical or artistic challenges to have a wide array of approaches to suit the needs of each student's unique instrument.

Above all, my commitment to the student is to share the joy and fulfillment I feel when I sing. Whether the student is serious or casual, I want them to leave my studio with a positive and empowering experience, and with an appreciation for the artistry and technique of classical singing. 

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Pretty good, no? 

I love teaching - I remember N and I dancing around my living room making up choreography to "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" for his competition. Is there a better way to make a living?

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I'm singing Second Lady on Friday and I'm not ready. Fuck you, strep throat. 

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BLOG MANDATE - VERY IMPORTANT INFO!!!!!!!!!!

It's my first tumblr post! 

A project I've had kicking around in my head for a while is a kind of repository for aspects of my development as a classical singer, so that I have a catalogue of information available to myself as a pedagogue and performer. I want to know as much as I possibly can about the human voice. I feel so fired up and passionate when I'm reading the literature. But the most important part, I think, is that talking about the voice is a window into every other aspect of a human being. Singing is taxing mentally, spiritually, emotionally. It's a training of vulnerability, revealing oneself without judgement, in the moment, just as one is right now. 

Key phrases, striking mental images, new exercises, insights, scientific info. It would be great to have an easier reference than thumbing through countless books. Not to mention acquiring the standards is extremely cost-prohibitive.

While I'm here, in my graduate school program, I want to ensure I'm taking full advantage of the amazing resources I have. It's so easy to get caught up in the grind of "getting things done" that one can forget about all the databases behind a pay wall, the library catalogue, the performances. If I'm here, I would like to really be here, stay present and curious. 

I've read two books in the last little while that I can start on: the indispensable Vocal Wisdom: Maxims of Giovanni Battista Lamperti, and the more recent The Naked Voice: A Wholistic Approach to Singing, by W. Stephen Smith. 

Next on my list to read is Singing & Imagination by Thomas Hemsley.