Lilac Eldunari @lilaceldunari - Tumblr Blog

Anyone in 2025 ?

I dunno why, I just can't sleep then unintentionally reminisce on tumblr

Im not a storyteller but i like to write what i feel

It is like released my feeling

Let them go and dissapear

The vibes is like when i am drawing and painting

Just reduce some sadness in my mind

When i write it I cry ,,, it just you know ,, you feel pain in your heart's cells

I rarely cry ,,, if i cry which is mean it hurt a lot

But im person that can changes my feeling so fast ,,,

Im a pokerface 🤪

In my 30 ,,, still wondering who i am , still feeling that i dont really know who i am.

I think is getting eassier to know myself

To know what i want and the purpose of my live

So i take my self back again to old memories

Mesmerizing

Watch all of my memories as much as i can remember

Sadness and happiness come and go ,,,

Up and down but i still a life ,,, or i just chose not to giving up

Im falling

Deppest in my memories

I thought my live will get eassier

I wanna be like common people

At the same time someone in my head tell me

Dont

So im not

30rd now !!

Jika jalan tak selalu baik ,,

Maka kita akan membuatnya menjadi mudah

Jika tak bisa mudah ,,

Maka kita akan membuat sayap

#aislanzadi

August 2nd 22

In the early mornin when you still fall a sleep ,,, i mostly hug u or starring at you ,,, i wonder bout our future ,, our child , our old days ,, our grandchild ,,, still we a life ?? Or who will die first ,,, i wish me ,,, becoz i dont wanna feel the pain,,, i even cant imagine the hurt ,,, it must be like the dead itself

This is our first week being apart

Jadi bagaimana rasanya sendiri tanpa suami ??? Rasanya sebaiknya jangan pernah kamu rasakan

Aku ini orang yg susah mengakui kesalahan, aku ini juga sekaligus orang yg tidak pernah mau menyesal dengan segala keputusan yg telah kubuat

Becoz in my opinion “the biggest risk if you dont take any risk”

And for the first time I truly feel that my decicion to take this job was wrong ,, hemm like im the one who mean to my familly my husband and my husband’s parent ,,, i separate them

I really love this place, its kind of dream land to setttle down, to raise your childern

The people, the weather , the earthy smell , the animal , the ecosystem the culture lare perfect and extraordinary

Im sobing in the first and second day ,,, im guilty , i feel weak , i feel wrong , i wanna come back to my husband warm hug

Till now i need nothing but him ,,,

South Tondano