Important announcement!
In the last year, I’ve been feeling progressively more weary and despondent when it comes to fandom. At first, I thought it was just a phase brought on by unnecessary drama and a succession of broken friendships, and that if I just took a step back, if I distanced myself from fandom spaces that had become toxic to me, I would find joy again. And I did distance myself. I cut ties, I quit logging in, I deleted accounts, until hardly anything remained. And it worked, because my mental health is better than it ever was. But the joy I used to find in fandom hasn’t come back.
Distance has made me admit things I think I was refusing to acknowledge before. The amount of time, effort, and dedication I’ve been putting into my fanworks for years feels like a waste now. It probably makes me sound ungrateful, because some of you have been so incredibly supportive, and you absolutely are the reason I’ve kept going for so long, but I can’t help but feel I need to move on to other, and hopefully better, things.
For a few months now, I’ve been preparing to move on to posting original works. I feel constrained within the limits of the fandom, of the characters, of someone else’s imagined world. Yes, I’ve been writing a lot of AUs, but it’s still not enough. I need more liberties. The stories I’ve written feel small in comparison to what they could be.
I wanted to wait before making the announcement, because it could be well over a year before I’m ready to post anything, but lately I’ve felt like giving an early heads up would be a good idea, mostly because some of my fics will be adapted and transformed and eventually deleted. I don’t know what will go and what will remain yet, so I guess this gives you the opportunity to save what you like before it goes. I’ll try to keep some copies in case anyone would want them, because I know not everyone will read this, and I’ll try to give a warning before any of the big fics go, but like I said, it could be well over a year before that happens. I just felt that if you follow me here, and if you have supported me all this time, you deserve to know what’s to come.
I don’t know if I’ll still post on ao3, or on the same account, or under the same pseud. It might be on Patreon instead, or who knows, it might be actual physical books! Nothing is certain so far, it’s all things I’ll have to figure out, but I’ll keep you updated on what I decide.
Thank you so much for sticking with me for however long you have. I’m so grateful for you all. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or concerns.
-xx, Lila
