Lila

she/her ~ 20s ~ ace

[liladunkel]

witchy aces: is there some other way you look at ingredients or witchy love symbols that fits your asexuality? i feel like so many things are associated with lust, romantic passion, aphrodisiacs, sex, eros, etc, and i don’t want to lock myself out of using things like rose, jasmine, ylang ylang, cherries, apples, red candles, and stuff. does anyone have any creative ideas or perspectives for how to reimagine these intentions for my workings? thanks

[isl3-deactivated20180427]

bi-ace wlw moodboard

[dukeofbookingham-deactivated202]

*curtsies* So, I really, REALLY don't want to offend anyone, Duke, but a question has been bothering me for a really long time and I was afraid to ask it because I didn't want to piss off anyone and since you're really eloquent and knowledgeable, I thought I'd ask you. So here it goes: you always say that arts and sciences are equally important, but how can analysing Chaucer or ecopoetics or anything similar compare to biomedicine or engineering in improving human lives? I'm genuinely curious!

*Curtsies* All right. Let me tell you a story: 

When I lived in London, I shared a flat with a guy who was 26 years old, getting his PhD in theoretical physics. Let’s call him Ron. Ron could not for the life of him figure out why I was wasting my time with an MA in Shakespeare studies or why my chosen method of providing for myself was writing fiction. Furthermore, it was utterly beyond him why I should take offense to someone whose field literally has the word “theoretical” in the title ridiculing the practical inefficacy of art. My pointing out that he spent his free time listening to music, watching television, and sketching famous sculptures in his notebook somehow didn’t convince him that art is a necessary part of a healthy human existence. 

Three other things that happened with Ron: 

I came home late one night and he asked where I’d been. When I told him I’d been at a friend’s flat for a Hanukkah celebration, he said, “What’s Hanukkah?” I thought he was joking. He was not.

A few weeks later, I came downstairs holding a book. He asked what I was reading and when I said, “John Keats,” he (and the three other science grad students in the room) did not know who that was. This would be like me not knowing who Thomas Edison is.

One night we got into an argument about the issue of gay marriage, and at one point he actually said, “It doesn’t affect me so I don’t see why I should care about it.”

Now: If Ron had ever read Number the Stars, or heard Ode to a Nightingale, or been to a performance of The Laramie Project, do you think he ever would have asked any of these questions? 

Obviously this is an extreme example. This guy was amazingly ignorant, but he was also the walking embodiment of the questions you’re asking. What does art matter compared with something like science, that saves people’s lives? Here’s the thing: There’s a flaw in the question, because art saves lives, too. Maybe not in the same “Eureka, we’ve cured cancer!” kind of way, but that doesn’t make it any less important. Sometimes the impact of art is relatively small, even invisible to the naked eye. For example: as a young teenager I was (no exaggeration) suicidally unhappy. Learning to write is what kept me (literally and figuratively) off the ledge. But I was one nameless teenager; in the greater scheme of things, who cares? Fair enough. Let’s talk big picture. Let’s talk about George Orwell. George Orwell wrote books, the two most famous of which are Animal Farm and 1984. You probably read at least one of those in high school. Why do these books matter? Because they’re cautionary tales about limiting the power of oppressive governments, and their influence is so pervasive that the term “Big Brother,” which refers to the omniscient government agency which watches its citizens’ every move in 1984, has become common parlance to refer to any abuse of power and invasion of privacy by a governmental body. Another interesting fact, and the reason I chose this example: sales of 1984 fucking skyrocketed in 2017, Donald Trump’s first year in office. Why? Well, people are terrified. People are re-reading that cautionary tale, looking for the warning signs. 

Art, as Shakespeare taught us, “holds a mirror up to nature.” Art is a form of self-examination. Art forces us to confront our own mortality. (Consider Hamlet. Consider Dylan Thomas.) Art forces us to confront inequality. (Consider Oliver Twist. Consider Audre Lorde. Consider A Raisin in the Sun. Consider Greta Gerwig getting snubbed at the Golden Globes.) Art forces us to confront our own power structures. (Consider Fahrenheit 451. Consider “We Shall Overcome.” Consider All the President’s Men. Consider “Cat Person.”) Art reminds us of our own history, and keeps us from repeating the same tragic mistakes. (Consider The Things They Carried. Consider Schindler’s List. Consider Hamilton.) Art forces us to make sense of ourselves. (Consider Fun House. Consider Growing Up Absurd.) Art forces us to stop and ask not just whether we can do something but whether we should. (Consider Brave New World. Consider Cat’s Cradle.) You’re curious about ecopoetics? The whole point is to call attention to human impact on the environment. Some of our scientific advances are poisoning our planet, and the ecopoetics of people like the Beats and the popular musicians of the 20th century led to greater environmental awareness and the first Earth Day in 1970 . Art inspires change–political, social, environmental, you name it. Moreover, art encourages empathy. Without books and movies and music, we would all be stumbling around like Ron, completely ignorant of every other culture, every social, political, or historical experience except our own. Since we have such faith in science: science has proved that art makes us better people. Science has proved that people who read fiction not only improve their own mental health but become proportionally more empathetic. (Really. I wrote an article about this when I was working for a health and wellness magazine in 2012.) If you want a more specific example: science has proved that kids who read Harry Potter growing up are less bigoted. (Here’s an article from Scientific American, so you don’t have to take my word for it.) That is a big fucking deal. Increased empathy can make a life-or-death difference for marginalized people.

But the Defense of Arts and Humanities is about more than empirical data, precisely because you can’t quantify it, unlike a scientific experiment. Art is–in my opinion–literally what makes life worth living. What the fuck is the point of being healthier and living longer and doing all those wonderful things science enables us to do if we don’t have Michelangelo’s David or Rimbaud’s poetry or the Taj Mahal or Cirque de Soleil or fucking Jimi Hendrix playing “All Along the Watchtower” to remind us how fucking amazing it is to be alive and to be human despite all the terrible shit in this world? Art doesn’t just “improve human lives.” Art makes human life bearable.

I hope this answers your question. 

To it I would like to add: Please remember that just because you don’t see the value in something doesn’t mean it is not valuable. Please remember that the importance of science does not negate or diminish the importance of the arts, despite what every Republican politician would like you to believe. And above all, please remember that artists are every bit as serious about what they do as astronomers and mathematicians and doctors, and what they do is every bit as vital to humanity, if in a different way. Belittling their work by questioning its importance, or relegating it to a category of lesser endeavors because it isn’t going to cure a disease, or even just making jokes about how poor they’re going to be when they graduate is insensitive, ignorant, humiliating, and, yes,  offensive. And believe me: they’ve heard it before. They don’t need to hear it again. We know exactly how frivolous and childish and idealistic and unimportant everyone thinks we are. Working in the arts is a constant battle against the prevailing idea that what you do is useless. But it’s bad enough that the government is doing its best to sacrifice all arts and humanities on the altar of STEM–we don’t need to be reminded on a regular basis that ordinary people think our work is a waste of time and money, too. 

Artists are exhausted. They’re sick and tired of being made to justify their work and prove the validity of what they do. Nobody else in the world is made to do that the way artists are. That’s why these questions upset them. That’s why it exasperates me. I have to answer some version of this question every goddamn day, and I am so, so tired. But I’ve taken the effort to answer it here, again, in the hopes that maybe a couple fewer people will ask it in the future. But even if you’re not convinced by everything I’ve just said, please try to find some of that empathy, and just keep it to yourself. 

[sweet-shakespearean-tomatoes]

Things My Math Teacher has Said and Done

-”Now I’ll take attendance in the order in which I don’t like you”

-Made us say ‘may I use the potty?’ in a British accent when we need to use the washroom 

-”Good morning, how’s my favourite class doing-they just left you would’ve passed them in the hallway”

-Had names for all of the variables: a is for apple pie, b is for brownie, c is for cookie, and D IS FOR DOUGHNUT

-”This is beautiful. Just like if you were in front of a mirror-with me standing in front of you”

-He spent like 10 minutes making sure we understood the difference between cannoli and cannelloni

- “You should join the geek protection squad, we would beat up kids like you”

-On the first day of class he drew an x in the corner of the whiteboard with a box around it and it???? somehow stayed there???? all year?????

-”you should all take French just in case you meet a pretty French lady on a plane like I did”

-We had this closet in the corner of the room, and then it just became a thing to talk about the body in the closet (especially when people not in the class would come in)

-Answered the phone in one of two ways “greetings human” or “Pizza Pizza”

-While we’re talking about phones if someone was being looked for he’d tell them that they were out in the smoking area handing out anti-smoking pamphlets

-”You guys are so loud! People would think you’re Italian or something”

-Once turned the lights on using ‘the force’, a.k.a a lightsaber he kept on his desk, and a student standing under the light switch

-”BIG LIKE HOUSE”

-He told us this story about how a few years ago if a kid was particularly annoying/disruptive he’d send them to a certain teacher to ask for a ‘long stand’ that teacher would take a loooong time looking for this item before sending the kid along to the next teacher (I think there were 4?) anyway, once the kid would get back and be like ‘there is no long stand’ he’d say ‘well weren’t you standing for a long time?’

-There was a girl who had a broken arm, who got moved out of the class when her schedule got rearranged. During attendance he’d call ‘broken arm girl’ first, and she would come into the room before we got there to write stuff like ‘broken arm girl was here’ on the board

-The day before christmas break we just talked about star wars the whole class

-called us all sunshine and when one girl asked why he called her stormy clouds for the rest of the year

-If someone came to borrow something, before he’d give it to them he’d ask if they would like to know where they could get one, and then the whole class would all be like ‘staples’ ‘best buy’ ‘dollar store’ etc

[aleikats]

A quick doodle of Marinette wearing a shirt i bought today hehe :)

So hey, needed to start fresh. I made a new instagram and twitter. Appreciate a follow (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

[asexualblondegirl]

Could you explain the difference between a crush and a squish, if it's not too much trouble?

Of course! A crush is someone who one feels romantically attracted to. One wants to kiss their crush, date them, cuddle them, etc. One also has very strong feelings towards their crush. One wants to be with them constantly, and when they see them it makes ones day.

A squish is a platonic crush and is in between a crush and a friend. When I squish on someone, I have this crazy want to be with them constantly, have them talk to me constantly, and when I see my squish it’s literally the highlight of my day, like a crush. However, I don’t have the physical attraction to my squish as someone would a crush. I don’t want to kiss, cuddle or necessarily date them. I just want to hang out with them everyday, maybe hold hands at most.

Many people confuse this with friendship, but friendship is very different. I have 3 best friends who I love so much, but I don’t feel the need to be or talk to them constantly, and when I see them, while it’s nice to see them, it does not make me grin and light up inside like seeing my squish.

Many people also want a QPR (queer platonic relationship) with their squish. This usually means a relationship as emotionally committed as a romantic relationship except without the physical aspects (However this does differ from relationship to relationship, and some QPR are more physical than others).

[liladunkel]

This explanation literally just made me realize I was squishing on my college roommate and I didn’t even know...

[conan-doyles-carnations]

2018 is the year of dressing outrageously in mundane situations

[starsoflove]

I already do that though

[conan-doyles-carnations]

2018 is the year of turning it up a notch

[alphacrone]

millennials realizing that gen z can’t vote yet and we gotta step up and show up to the primaries this year in droves to keep the movement alive

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

Carrie is a better anti-bullying message than 13 Reasons Why because she didn’t mail passive aggressive cassette tapes around to people who were tangentially involved she just psychically killed everyone who had ever hurt her and blew up half the town

[hotvampireadjacent]

i thought this was about Carrie fisher and kinda nodded “yeah she would”

[liladunkel]

I'm Tired Of My Queer Identity Being Ignored & Erased On TV

I am aromantic (aro), asexual (ace), and touch averse. For me, this means that I never experience romantic or sexual attraction, and that I’m often not OK with touch, such as hugs, even from friends. I have never seen a character like me on TV. And y…

“I will not get over my rage that it seems to be perfectly acceptable to announce that the stories of people like me are too boring to tell.”

This. This article kind of articulates some of the contradictions in how I wish people could think of the a-spec identities. I simultaneously want it to be normal, casual, common-knowledge, and no-big-deal. But I also want it to be explicit, reenforced, and understood as separate from the heteronormative experience.

I did not ignorantly shame and berate myself, wondering in terror what was wrong with me, just so that people can respond to the discovery of my sexuality by saying “So?”

[tkysj]

「表彰台に上がり感情が湧き出し次々表情が変わる平壌オリンピック金メダリスト、羽生結弦選手のモノマネ」……をウチのボンゾします （※中盤からほとんど羽生選手） 昨日のつづきです。羽生選手おめでとうございます～ #やすらかモンスターズ 一日一絵17

[txmriddlx]

Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.

[happydorid]

raven

[liladunkel]

me: maybe... I do... want to be in a relationship... perhaps... that would be... nice... possibly

me @ myself, immediately: what the fuck is this? a nicholas sparks novel? shut up

[miumiugirl-deactivated20240416]

Flowers & Meanings

Orchid: fertility, virility, sexuality, exotic beauty

Iris: eloquence, royalty, faith, wisdom, hope, valor

Jasmine: beauty, sensuality, love, purity

Sunflower: adoration, platonic love, admiration, loyalty

Red Rose: passionate, requited love, desire

Peony: bashfulness, wealth, compassion, beauty, happy marriage

Lavender: purity, silence, devotion, grace, calmness

Lilac: affection, youthful innocence, confidence, humility

Anthurium: hospitality, happiness, abundance

Daisy: innocence, purity, true love, new beginnings

Anemone: fading hope, forgotten love, faires, anticipation

Gardenia: purity, hope, trust, secret love, dreams, clarity

Hyacinth: sincerity, sporty attitude, playfulness, rashness, jealousy

Daffodil: creativity, inspiration, renewal, awareness, unrequited love

[synqra]

[wurschtaly]

~

[unclefather]

a 7 year old that i have met 2 times just came out of her room and sat next to me on the couch and without saying hello she said “if you didn’t want to die, then why were you born?” and her mom said “PLEASE, Mackenzie. go upstairs” and she crossed her legs and said “no, mom. i want to hear what she has to say” ???

[unclefather]

Her mom also told me that she “does this all the time”