2 weeks ago I read something too late at night that sent my overthinking brain into a spiral. then I went on vacation and forced myself to just not think about it until I got home. somehow this worked until I got home yesterday and during the day was fine but at night it was a floodgate that had me up til 4am. Same thing today. fine during the day, but before bed just spiralling and spiralling on an existential level. like questioning existence and humanity and personhood and souls and I feel so burdened and overwhelmed like my chest is caving in an burning at the same time and am i real? are you? what is death and life anyway? why do we speak about it so inconsistently? i just want to cry and cry and cry and i think it’s just bc im perpetually tired and starting new medication but those words just rattle in my head and im afraid. most of all im afraid
