Ladybug expected one of two things when Chat Noir discovered that she was really Marinette. One, he would start hanging out at her house when he was transformed. Or two, he would start hanging out with her when he wasn’t transformed (whether or not she knew his civilian identity already).
Either way, she had expected him to try to get closer to her. That was what all the Ladynoir fanfiction she’d ever read had prepared her for. (Which wasn’t a lot of fanfiction, okay? Well… it wasn’t that much.)
What she didn’t expect: Tips on how to ask Adrien out, support for her crush on another boy, and whatever other crazy things were happening right now.
“You need to pay better attention, M'Lady. You’re breathing all wrong again.” Chat Noir crossed his arms in annoyance, like he was personally offended by her anxiety over this.
“How am I breathing wrong?” Ladybug huffed. “I’ve been breathing perfectly fine my whole life. Maybe you’re breathing wrong.”
“You’ve got to breathe better. For Adrien.”
“I don’t think that Adrien will care how I breathe, thanks.”
“He’ll care very much if you pass out because you’re hyperventilating. Now again. Use your diaphragm like I showed you, so you can say romantic things and sweep him off his feet.”
It had been like this for three days, ever since she’d told him who exactly it was she’d been crushing on. Coaching and cheerleading. Scolding and impatience. He seemed even more invested in her love life than she was, and Ladybug couldn’t wrap her head around it.
“Are you even listening to me? You are going to rob Adrien of the joy of saying yes to you!”
“Stop pressuring me! You’re stressing me out!”
Chat Noir pinched the bridge of his nose, like a wearied, middle-aged school teacher. “Okay. This is the perfect opportunity to review relaxation techniques, then. You’re not nervous when you’re talking to me. Why don’t you practice confessing to me?”
“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”
He struck a pose, slicking back his hair and cocking a hip, like he was in Adrien’s place on the catwalk. “Well, we do look kind of similar, don’t you think?”
He switched up the pose to one much more unassuming, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, looking down at the ground, and then deliberately smiling up at her shyly. “Are you saying I don’t look like a supermodel?” He batted his eyes.
Chat Noir straightened up. “You wound me. How about this: While you’re asking him out, you can just pretend you’re me and do what I would do.”
“You mean strut around and say the worst cat-themed pickup line I can think of?”
“The best way to a man’s heart is through puns, M'Lady. Everyone knows that.”
Ladybug snorted at the idea. “No, that’s just your heart.”
“I’ll bet you five euros it’ll work on Adrien, too.”
Well, that was an easy way to earn five euros. “You’re on.”
“Really?” Chat Noir’s cat ears perked up. “You’re going to use one?”
She shouldn’t. It seemed too silly. Too easy to dismiss as a joke instead of a confession. Too likely to get her rejected. But then again, what had she done so far that was any different?
“Do you think it’ll work?” she whispered.
“I don’t think it matters how you ask. He’s going to say yes. You don’t have anything to worry about.”
Ladybug shrugged. “Maybe I’ll use one then. I honestly don’t have any better ideas. Everything I’ve done to get his attention so far has failed.”
“Hey, that’s only because I wasn’t helping you.” He held out a fist for her to bump. “You need your favorite partner’s help with important stuff, right?”
She raised her fist to his, gaining strength from the feeling of his fingers against hers. “Right.”
“You know, you and me against the world also means us against Adrien.”
Author’s note: I wrote this for Post-Reveal Revelry, an event I hosted back in, um, March. This is part one of three!
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